Chapter 19 #2
“Charlie,” he started, voice just breaking.
“I know you said you’d kill me if I made a long speech and kept everyone baking out here in the sun for too long.
But I just want to say, I know that I don’t deserve you.
You are kind, generous, selfless. I’m in awe of you every day.
When people look at me, all they see is good looks, money, endless charisma, a sense of humor, a great physique, and limitless ambition.
” The crowd laughed. Tristan smiled, too, then got serious.
“But you know how much I’ve struggled with wanting to make a difference in the world.
With feeling like I’m not enough. And I just want you to know that I will never, ever give up trying to make you proud.
And I’ll never give up on us. No matter what. I love you.”
Sniffles and a few cheers from the crowd. Malcolm handed the mic to Charlie.
“I have no notes,” Charlie announced, staring at him with huge, wet, lovestruck doe eyes. “Just marry us already.”
“The last thing I want to say,” Malcolm said, to a chorus of groans, “is to tell you to embrace the change. It may seem a simple thing, wearing a ring, signing a certificate. Especially for two people who’ve already committed to each other, who live together, who have seen each other at their worst.
“After today, your marriage becomes your unquestioned top priority. Yes, more important than the S who the hell was she turning into?
But then Wren started doing some math. If Tristan became Charlie’s number one, that would make her Charlie’s number two.
If Arthur became Wren’s number one, and the baby number two (or would it be the other way around?), that would make Charlie number three?
There was an overall demotion of three life spots happening all at once, which seemed unacceptable.
Something would have to be done about this.
But in the meantime, Arthur was looking at her, his own eyes wet, and squeezing her hand, and they were both rubbing their thumbs on the other, and stroking the other’s palm, and intertwining fingers that had no business being intertwined, and the whole thing was just so sickeningly lovely.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I now present…”
It was time to stand and clap.
At the aquarium, Wren found herself nibbling on a cream cheese wonton and peering over a railing and down into the clear depths of the stingray tank.
The creatures were so graceful and alien, some strange combination of slimy fish and winged angel.
A flaky crumb flew off her appetizer and floated down toward the water, like a bit of fish food. She hoped the rays would like it.
Charlie and Tristan were finishing up a few last-minute photos, just the two of them. The bridal party was done. But she wasn’t quite ready to go back to the party. She’d left Arthur to fend for himself for a few minutes, said she needed a minute to think.
And now, as if on cue, here was a person invading her peace. The pained groan of an older man taking a load off pierced the air. It was Charlie’s dad, leaning on the very same railing, letting it do the work of holding him up.
“Do you mind?” he said.
“Not at all.”
He exhaled a grunt, almost as if he’d just taken the first sip of an ice-cold beer. Wren couldn’t help but smile at the similarities between the two. Even their bellies were about the same size.
“What’re you doing sitting here alone? They’ll be serving dinner soon,” he said.
“I’m not finding I have much of an appetite.”
“I paid for that fillet. Don’t you waste it, now.”
Wren chuckled.
“Wren, right?” She nodded. “Yeah, I remember. Something got you down?”
“Just feeling…a lot.” Sad, happy, excited, nervous. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. Everything she had ever known in her life was about to change, all of it at once.
Paul exhaled loudly. “Boy, I feel that.”
“I like seeing my best friend so excited. And Tristan’s a good guy and all. But I’m afraid that I’m going to lose her. Does that make sense?”
“Did you forget who you’re talking to?”
“You’re just her dad, what do you know? I’m her best friend! You couldn’t possibly understand the bond we have,” she teased.
“Well, it’s good practice, anyway. Feeling this way.”
“How do you mean?”
“I hope I’m not going out on a limb by asking if you’re pregnant?” he said, as Wren could barely even stand up straight. She also had a permanent grimace on her face from the sheer exhaustion and pain of carrying this kid around.
“Get used to the feeling. You’re supposed to celebrate all these milestones that mark the passage of time, but all they mark is your time with them slipping away.
Off to school! Sixteenth birthday! Learning to drive!
Graduating college! Let’s all eat a goddamn cake!
And then the day they find someone else to take care of them is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life? ” He blew a raspberry in the air.
“Fuck, man,” Wren said. “I haven’t even had this baby yet; why are you doing this to me? I came over here to collect myself, not to hurl myself over the ledge.”
“You could be eating steak and getting ready to hit the dance floor, but you wanted to sit here and talk to a sad old man who just gave his daughter away. That was your choice.”
Wren laughed.
“I guess I should get back. I’ve never danced at a wedding before, believe it or not. Won’t be too many more of these where I’m going, which is apparently the grave.”
Paul nodded. “The next phase of your friendship with Charlie will be new, and it will be different. Will it be better? I don’t know. But it will be. So there’s that.”
“That sucks.”
“Tough,” he said.
“And what about you and your little girl? What’s your next phase look like?
” she asked him. She had seen him struggling walking down the aisle.
But his tears were gone and now all that was left was this deep, still sadness.
Is this what she was going to look like someday, some twenty- or thirty-odd years in the future?
“Oh, I’m screwed,” he said. “And they don’t even want to have kids, so there’s another dagger. Good thing I love my wife, though. I’ve still got her. That’s all I really need.”
No matter what else happened, she thought, she would still have Arthur. That’s why it had to be this way. Why he had to be her number one, and Tristan had to be Charlie’s.
“Now, go on before I drive you even deeper into depression,” the old man joked.
“Do you think…you could give me a hand off this railing?”
And now it was Charlie’s dad laughing.
“I was gonna ask you the same thing.”
With that, and a deep, steadying breath, she was ready to do the damn thing.
When Wren returned to the bar area, Arthur had managed to snag a private moment with Tristan. She watched the two of them knowing they were only friends by proxy, really, and that Arthur had a vague distaste for Tristan. He wasn’t everyone’s flavor, after all.
“Just wanted to tell you congrats, man,” Arthur said. “If you hate your present, I’m sorry in advance, money’s a little tight right now. But if you love it, you’re welcome.”
“No worries. Your presence is enough of a present,” Tristan said.
“Good, I’ll return the spoon, then.”
Tristan laughed.
“Seriously, you picked a great day to get married. It was beautiful.”
“Every day is a great day, Arthur. You know what I always say? It’s not just another day…it’s To-day.”
Tristan slugged him in the arm playfully and walked off, ready to continue making the rounds.
When Arthur finally turned and saw Wren, he immediately adopted an over-the-top lovestruck look on his face and a cartoonish twinkle in his eye, as if he’d just drunk some witch’s bubbly pink love potion in a children’s film.
“Why’s your face like that?” she asked. “I know it’s hard not to get caught up in the romance, but tone it down a little. There are people around.”
“Can’t help it. It’s a beautiful night, I’m happy, I’m in love. Why not smile? Here, got you a mocktail.” He handed her a cloudy orange drink in something resembling a wineglass. She took a test sip, face twitching from the soury-sweetness of it, and the heartburn was almost instant.
“Should we get to our seats?” he said. “I think they’ll be serving dinner soon.”
“I know. My skin tingles when my body knows red meat is nearby.”
He laughed.
“But not just yet,” she said. “You up for a walk?”
Truth be told, she felt like hell. The indigestion was still climbing up her throat, she felt just a bit clammy and nauseous, and the exhaustion of a long day was beginning to settle in. She didn’t know if she was going to make it to dinner. But she was ready. It was time.
“OK,” he said, and they strolled. Past the deep-sea freaks like the sea dragons, poky, gangly little things that had clearly been penciled in at the very end when God had run out of ideas.
Past the jellyfish and sea nettles, which were far more stunning when safely behind glass.
“But if you want to leave, it’s OK, I promise. ”
“No, I’m OK. Let’s just walk.” She just had to stick it out for Charlie and Tristan’s big entrance to the reception, then for the toasts, and then for the first dance and the cake cutting.
She could hold it together for a few more hours.
And if the baby decided to try any shenanigans, she would have to hold that in, too.
“Hey, you showed up, you saw your best friend get married. That meant the world to Charlie and I know for a fact she would want you to go home now and get some rest.”