Chapter 19 #4
Arthur’s nervous smile faded. The fight drained out of him. His eyes went soft, pleading.
“Let’s not talk about it here. Can we go home?”
Did he do something behind her back with Linda? Did he buy a fucking house? It was too insane to even consider. No, he wouldn’t do that.
But it was the only thing that made sense.
“Just tell me what you did,” she said.
After the truth came out, the fight spilled outside, where it was raining. Of course it was raining.
“But that was our money, not just yours!” Wren said. “You don’t get to decide that!”
“Wren, I’m sorry I lied to you, I really am. But I’ve been saving up since I was a kid. I can’t remember you ever putting anything into that account.”
“Not true!” It was mostly true. She’d contributed a certain amount of her pay over the years to their rent and expenses and usually blown the rest on whatever seemed fun.
But she wasn’t going to concede the point.
“I took under-the-couch coins to Coinstar many a time! And I always put that right into savings.”
OK, sometimes she bought herself a handful of Runts first. But still.
“You have to call it off,” she said. “You have to get out of it.”
The lights of the city and the harbor twinkled on the dark water close by.
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean, you can’t?”
“It’s too late. It’s basically a done deal.”
Wren’s stomach dropped. She couldn’t believe this was happening. That he could be so reckless, so stupid.
“What were you thinking? That house is a disaster.” She was unwittingly pacing back and forth now, mind spinning for a way to make sense of this.
“It’s not that bad.” His body language was that of a scolded puppy.
“Arthur, it looks like Guantánamo Bay in there.”
“You’re right, it does,” he said, stiffening up just a tad, a little fight coming into his voice. He was getting defensive now. “But it won’t be so bad. If you can just get on board, believe in me for once.”
“For once? What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
She marched right up to him. He wasn’t going to suppress this and bury it down. He was going to say it, or she was going to make him.
“Tell me what you mean.”
“Fine,” he spat. “All the negging and needling me. ‘Oh, there goes Arthur, scared to go for it, scared to take a chance. Maybe I’ll tease him about taking his time and thinking things through! Sure, he’s the most boring human being on the planet, but I don’t mind much!
’ It hurts, Wren! I got sick of it, I’m sorry.
I guess for a second I just wanted to do something without you doubting I would go through with it. So I did.”
She’d never done that, never doubted him. He was just unleashing all of his insecurities on her, and it wasn’t fair. She didn’t deserve that.
“Even if I did do that, which I didn’t, I would have been right,” she said. “Because you still can’t quit playing it safe.”
His jaw hung open. He was incredulous.
“I’m sorry, what part of this is me playing it safe? I’m risking everything, Wren. For us. So we have a real place to live, a real future. It didn’t go exactly as I planned it, I admit that. But I am taking a chance, can’t you see that?”
“No, you’re not. You just don’t have the balls to figure out what you want your own life to look like, so you’re trying to copy your parents. News flash, Arthur: That life doesn’t exist anymore. Not for people like us.”
“Yes, it does. You just have to want it. You just have to sacrifice.”
“That’s not how I want to live my life! Sacrificing everything that actually makes life worth living! Not anymore. If you really knew me, you would know that.”
She had him there. For just a moment, he was speechless. They stood there, panting like two fighters between rounds, drizzling rain making them damp.
“Well, at least I’m not afraid to want something,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
“At least I don’t run away from anything that might potentially be good. Your job, our family. Jesus, Wren, do you even want to have this baby with me?”
“I’m going home,” she said flatly. She couldn’t believe he would ask that, and she wanted to tear him apart for it, but she was tired and out of fight. “I’ll get an Uber. I don’t want to be in the car with you.”
She put in the request on her phone in record time while he pleaded.
“Can you at least request a female driver so I don’t worry?”
“Fine.” She checked the option on the app.
“I think I might have a discount code you can put in, too, just give me one sec—”
“Oh my GOD, will you just fuck off?! I can’t even look at you right now.”
That was enough. She stormed off.
“Wren, come on. I know we’re heated right now, but it’s just a fight. We’ll work it out. We have to.”
“We have to! Wow, what a fairy tale,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Sad thing is you’re probably right. Lucky us.”
She huffed down the walkway to a far corner of the brick square outside the aquarium, far away from Arthur, where she could wait for her ride in peace. But first, she shot one last glare over her shoulder in case he dared try to follow her.
He didn’t. Only watched from afar until she climbed into the back seat of her ride and floated away.