Chapter Sixteen
Sixteen
When they both caught their breath, Theo turned over, grabbed his phone, and immediately ordered a pizza.
“Pizza? Really?” Audrey asked when he locked the screen. “You said we were making pasta!”
He huffed a laugh. “Yeah, sure, but I’m too hungry now—this will be faster than making dinner from scratch. We missed the window on that. It takes a while.”
“You tease!” she cried, shoving his shoulder. “Did you only promise me homemade gnocchi to seduce me? Was it all a lie?” He wasn’t wrong, it was way later than she thought, and her stomach had started to growl.
“Did it work?” Theo asked, raising a wry eyebrow. “Because if so…”
She smacked him in the face with a pillow.
And then he made her thoroughly regret it.
She was still laughing and kicking from the ensuing pillow fight when he rolled her up like a burrito in the duvet and carried her over his shoulder downstairs.
“What are you doing?!” she squeaked, still squirming, but not hard enough to throw him off balance. “I’m still naked!”
“Oh, I know,” Theo purred with relish. “That’s the best part.
” He smacked her ass fondly through the padding.
“It’s a requirement for building naked pillow forts.
It’s even in the name.” He deposited her gently on the floor before ripping all the couch cushions off and tossing them on top of her in a pile.
“What about the poor pizza delivery guy?” she asked with a gasp while she tried to claw her way out of her duvet wrapping. It had been entirely too easy for him to trap her there.
“I’ll put pants on for him. I’m not an animal.” He flopped down on the cushions and took her chin between his fingers. Only her face was visible in the fluffy white folds of his comforter. “But you? You’re going to stay just like this for as long as possible.”
He pressed a kiss to her lips, one of a thousand he’d given her already—and still, it wasn’t enough.
It would never be enough.
Not from him.
He could give her a thousand more, a million, and she’d cherish every one of them.
After Theo retrieved his sweatpants and handed her his hoodie, they spent the next hour perfecting their fort, nestling together in its warmth in front of the fire until the doorbell rang and they were finally able to gorge themselves on a hot, greasy picnic.
Now Audrey knew how heavenly postcoital pizza could taste.
When they were fully sated and the grease had been licked—and then washed—away from their fingers, Theo burrowed into the cushions and held his arm out, motioning for her to tuck in against his side.
They sat there and watched the fire in silence for a long time, simply basking in the intimate glow of each other.
It was everything she’d ever wanted.
Everything she’d ever dreamed of.
But there was still a pall over the evening they needed to acknowledge.
“I think we should talk about what happened.”
He hummed. “Yeah, I suppose so.” He rested his cheek on top of her head with a sigh, warmth spilling over from his skin and straight into her own.
Theo was the best space heater she’d ever encountered, and between his heat and the warmth radiating from the crackling fire, Audrey could easily drift off to sleep in the quiet safety of his arms.
But not yet.
“I didn’t like seeing you like that. And that wasn’t how I ever thought I’d meet your mom.”
Theo sighed again, his chest rising and falling deeply at her back.
“I don’t know if I was ever going to actually introduce you to her.
” Then he grimaced and shook his head. “No, that’s just the anger talking.
I would have eventually, but I wanted us to have more time alone together.
I wanted to keep you all to myself for a little longer—something just for me.
I wanted to keep you safe from everything else complicating my life. ”
“What are you going to do?” Audrey turned and ran a hand soothingly along his chest, her fingers stalling over the moles marked there. She was careful not to touch his scar. A reminder of it right now seemed like a bad idea.
“I don’t know yet. She’s a lawyer, and that’s what a lot of our original fight was about in the first place, if I’m being honest—and why I got so upset with her for coming here, even though I think she had good intentions.
We probably could have avoided the whole thing if I’d just answered one of her calls or texts, but I was dead set on sticking to no contact for as long as I needed.
And I needed more space, I think.” He shook his head.
Her brows knit together. “What does her job have to do with you?”
“Everything.” He groaned. “My family has…expectations. We’re old money, you see.
And there are conditions to having it most of the time—though my nana made sure that wasn’t the case for me.
I came into my trust when I was old enough, and that was the only condition.
She always supported my art way more than my mom and uncle ever did—my nana and my dad both. ”
“Why did you freak out about Christmas?”
“My mom hosts a big party every year with her firm—she made it sound like it’s just family, but it’s not.
It’s friends, colleagues, clients, politicians, New York glitterati—everyone who gossips.
And let me tell you: I’ve been a fascination for these society people for a long time.
” He slid his gaze over to meet hers. “I’m the black sheep and they all know it, and so many of them have been dying to see my face since the accident.
I was always an oddity to begin with, an outlier, a mistake—the scandalous product of a drunken tryst and a Vegas shotgun wedding that resulted in a vicious divorce and high therapy bills. And now I’m even more of a monster.”
“Don’t call yourself that. You aren’t.”
“No. You don’t understand, sweetheart. I am.” He sighed and buried his face in his hand. “I’ve failed my family and myself in every way imaginable.” He tapped at his scar. “This is just the cherry on top of a lifetime of misery. An outward sign of my inner defects.”
She grabbed his face with both hands and made him look her in the eye. “Don’t you dare talk that way about the man I love, Theo,” she growled. “Do you think I would love a monster?”
His bottom lip quivered. He blinked, and tears shone in his eyes for a split second before he shook his head.
“And you know what?” she murmured, drawing his lips to hers for a quick kiss. “From what I saw, your mother doesn’t seem to think so either. I saw a woman who loves her son very much, but doesn’t know what to do about it. Don’t you think?”
He drew in a shaky breath and wrenched his eyes shut, nodding with a grimace as twin tears rolled down his cheeks.
“So what will you do?” Audrey took his hand in hers and interlaced their fingers. His lips tilted up into a watery smile at the contact. “Are you going to talk to her or not?”
Theo drew the back of his hand across his eyes before running it through her hair, gently combing through her loose waves with his fingers. His eyes never left hers, the warmth of the fire reflected in them while he thought.
“I don’t know,” he finally whispered. “What do you think I should do?”
“Oh. Uh…well.” She rubbed tiredly at her temples, suddenly a bit uncomfortable. This was out of her scope of expertise. “I’m not sure. I’ve never had a mother or a family to have drama with, and definitely not at this level. I don’t think I’m remotely equipped to weigh in.”
“Oh god,” he groaned, burying his face in his other hand.
“I didn’t even consider how that sounded to you.
I bet you’d give anything to have a mother who’s alive and cares about you in any way, and here I am, refusing to even give mine the time of day, despite all the rest of it.
Do I sound like an asshole to you for it?
” he muttered. “I feel like an asshole now.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.
You’re the furthest thing from an asshole.
I’ve never met a man who was less of one, and you wouldn’t have done or said what you did if you didn’t have a good reason.
I know these things are complicated. And you’re not wrong for feeling trapped.
” She tightened her fingers in his. “But I also don’t have the context, other than what I saw earlier today—which was two very hurt people, hurting each other, and blaming themselves for it.
Will you finally tell me what happened?”
He rolled his lips together pensively, chewing on the bottom one while he thought.
“Audrey…” He winced and closed his eyes.
“Just tell me. That’s what I’m here for. I signed up for this.” She turned and sat in his lap to face him fully, caging him with her legs and combing her fingers through his hair while studying his eyes in the firelight. “It’s you and me now, Theo.”
He met her gaze, his remarkable eyes never leaving hers—except to dart briefly down to her lips. But when he looked back up again, his expression was the most heated she’d ever seen it.
“How did you get so wise?” He pressed his forehead to hers and breathed in deeply. “You’re too mature for twenty-four, sweetheart.”
Audrey closed her eyes and breathed with him for a moment, running her fingertips gently along the lines of his jaw. “I’ve always been alone, and I’ve always had to take care of myself. I guess I had to grow up really fast.”
“You can slow down now, you know. Rest here for a while, stay young for longer.” He wrapped her in his arms and tucked her under his chin. “You’re safe here with me.”
“I know I am,” she whispered. “You’re safe with me too.”
His hand smoothed circles against her back, his fingers gently tracing the curves of her spine. It sent shivers across her skin, but she had the sense that the motion was more to soothe himself than her.
He always had an easier time speaking when his hands were occupied.
“Okay,” Theo finally said with a sigh. “I’ll tell you about the night of the accident.”