Chapter Thirty-Three
Sloane bit her lip to stop a very undignified protest from slipping past her lips as August disentangled their limbs and slid out of her. She felt adrift without his body pressing into hers. Without him offering her warmth and comfort. Without his voice whispering the sweetest, dirtiest commands into her ear.
On unsteady legs, she stood to face him. He tugged her closer, until once again, his warmth seeped into her body. Peace, a sense of homecoming, settled into her.
“Hey,” August whispered, his voice extra gravelly.
“Hey,” Sloane answered, her voice equally hoarse.
“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and smoothed a braid away from her face. To her amazement, heat rose in her face. She, who’d always claimed she would let no man penetrate the armor around her heart, was unbearably touched.
She turned her face away. A finger under her chin didn’t let her get very far.
“Hey, you okay?” His dark eyes penetrated hers, determined to wrest all her secrets. He sounded ready to fight whoever, whatever had made her potentially not okay. To right whatever wrong had been done to her, even if he were the perpetrator.
She nodded quickly, a little too close to tears for comfort.
“Are we okay?”
She nodded again. She didn’t know how to explain it to him. She didn’t know how to explain it to herself. She’d just experienced something she’d longed for as a teen. And even as a horny seventeen-year-old with an overactive imagination, she’d never imagined such a mind-blowing, soul-altering encounter.
Everything she’d always wanted was finally in her grasp, and she was scared as fuck. She didn’t want to mess it up. She didn’t know how to fully grab everything she’d ever wanted with both hands when she’d spent more than a decade trying to convince herself it was everything she didn’t want.
“Sloane.”
The worry in his voice had her lifting her head to meet his eyes. She wanted to give him the truth. He deserved the truth.
“Yes, we’re okay.”
His eyes narrowed. “But…”
She shook her head. “No but. It’s just that I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that we’re…”
“Us.”
“Yeah.” She rubbed her arms. Being naked in a room with the A/C blasting while having an existential crisis after having the best sex of your life with the guy she’d crushed on forever made one cold. Who knew? Twisting around, she tried to locate a throw that usually resided along the back of the couch, but surprise surprise, it had slipped to the floor.
Seeing the direction of her gaze, August reached down and handed it to her.
“Thank you.” She draped the chenille around her body. Her gaze shifted back to the sofa. “We debased the couch.”
His eyes flickered in surprise at the abrupt change in topic, but after a beat, he snorted and nodded solemnly. “We debased the couch.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to look it in the eye again.”
“It had to learn about the birds and the bees sometime.”
Sloane’s laughter turned into a yelp of surprise when August scooped her up in his arms like she was the size of your average kindergartner. She hastily wrapped her arm around his neck. She didn’t think he’d drop her, but being in a vulnerable position always freaked her out. “What are you doing?”
“You’re cold. We should shower.”
Sloane sniffed. “I had a shower an hour ago.”
August strode out of the living room. “And then you had sex.”
She considered his response for a second. “This is true.”
“Great sex.”
“This is also true.”
“Stupendous sex.”
“True once again.”
“With a certified sex master.”
“Now, sir.” Sloane slapped him on the shoulder and then decided to linger, because good Lord, he was ripped. Hot skin covered muscles that rippled for days.
“Girl, you know it’s true,” he sang in a horribly off-key voice.
Sloane gasped lightheartedly. She loved seeing this side of August. The lighter side he rarely showed anyone. “Did you just quote a Milli Vanilli lyric? Are you eighty?”
He grinned down at her. “Only if you are. I mean, you knew what I was referencing.”
Sloane sniffed. “I can’t help that I grew up in a house where we cleaned every Saturday morning, and my mother made the playlist that consisted of nothing but R&B hits of the ’80s and ’90s. And you know this, because you weren’t exempt when you came home with Donovan.”
They shared a smile as they entered the bathroom at the collective memory. The tension knotting the muscles in her shoulders eased a bit. Getting back to their natural rapport felt good. She could relax with him. Be herself.
Still juggling her in his arms, August turned on the shower tap. She would not be impressed. She was not that impressionable. She would not swoon like Cinderella did the first time she saw Prince Charming. She was a grown-ass woman, not a girl who believed in fairy tales anymore.
“Shower cap, or no?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m not trying to go through my hair routine today,” she said, grabbing the shower cap she kept on a hook next to the shower and donning it.
“Okay, in you go.” He lowered her into the shower and stepped in behind her. The small space was not meant for two people, especially when one of them was a buff pro football player. But she had no intention of telling him to get out. Not with his hard chest pressed to her back. She soaped up a washcloth and handed it to him over her shoulder.
“Thanks,” he said. “I haven’t forgotten what you said. When we were in the living room.”
Sloane swallowed hard. She should’ve known he wouldn’t let her get away with changing the topic of conversation for long. He saw through the bullshit and beneath the surface to the unvarnished truth better than anyone she’d ever met. Instead of answering, she stared straight ahead through the streaming water to the tiled wall. Swirling, chaotic thoughts were spinning through her head.
“Okay.” He dropped a kiss to her shoulder. “Let me start. You’re concerned about the turn in our relationship, what it means, and where we go from here.”
She made a small sound of agreement.
As if sensing she wasn’t ready to face him yet, he spoke directly into her ear as he made lazy circles with the washcloth across her back. “Sloane, I want you. I want to be with you. The wanting only gets more intense the more time I spend with you. I would do anything to make you happy.” He took a deep breath. “Even date other women.”
She almost broke her neck, slipping and sliding on the wet tub floor, turning at that last confession. “Wait. What are you talking about?”
His face was resolute. “I saw that list you made after you had that Zoom meeting. I figured I’d make your life easier if I did what needed to be done to get you that job.”
She poked him in the chest. “No, you made my life miserable, you jackass! Did you think I liked sitting there while you were on a date?” She poked his very impressive chest again. She closed her eyes. She would not be distracted by perfection in all its hot, wet glory. “Or that you agreed to another one?”
“You know you can stop poking me, right?”
Her eyes flew open. “No, I don’t!” She poked him again. “You should have told me that.” Poke. “And although what you did is really sweet in a twisted, nonsensical ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’ kind of way, don’t ever try to rescue me again.” She paused to catch her breath. “Still… thank you for trying to look out for me.”
“Will I get poked again if I say ‘you’re welcome’?”
“Yes!”
He smiled. “Okay, how about this? I’m sorry I hurt you back in the day.”
They were going there? Oh. Okay. The air backed up in her lungs.
“I’ve never forgiven myself for putting that look on your face.”
Entranced, Sloane stared at him. The look on his face now. Nothing but pure sincerity. The pain he’d suffered back then was easy to see. All this time, she’d believed that hurt belonged solely to her. How incredibly wrong she’d been. Resisting him, even remotely—not that she’d done a good job of doing that, if she wanted to keep it real—was proving to be futile.
She shook her head. “No. It wasn’t your fault. I knew you had a girlfriend. I thought I was sooo irresistible and that you couldn’t possibly feel as strongly about her as you did about me. My ego led me astray.”
August reached for her hands. “Hey, don’t do that. Try to put it all on you. You thought we had a connection. And we did. You thought you were smart? I thought I was smarter. If I said you were just a friend, then I wouldn’t have to examine my feelings too closely.”
She peeked up at him. “Where does that leave us? Well, besides naked in the shower?”
His lips curved up, but his eyes were still a little shy. A little uncertain. “I want to be with you. Only you. Please say you feel the same.”
It wasn’t a declaration of love, but would she have been ready if it was? Probably not.
It was past time to move past the past. To move past her misgivings about what could go wrong and what it meant to make herself vulnerable. Continuing to deny herself, to deny him, what they both wanted, was no longer an option. “I do.”
His smile blossomed to a full-blown grin. “Good. Because this water is getting cold. And I have more sex master moves to show you.”
“I want to apologize,” Sloane said later that night while they were eating dinner. Mexican this time. They’d ordered in due to the dire contents of her fridge.
August tilted his head to the side as he set down his fork. “For what?”
“For pushing you into all of this. I know you’re not really comfortable with the SugarBae stuff. I get very passionate about things I believe in, and act without thinking about how my actions might affect others. Sugar Blitz is so great, and I love my brother, and I want all of you to be successful. And seeing an opportunity to help make that happen that would also land me a new job… Well, I just ran with it. You wouldn’t have gone through all this if it wasn’t for me.”
His lips quirked. “Appreciate the apology, but no one makes me do anything I don’t want to do.”
Her eyebrows lifted in disbelief. “You wanted to go on blind dates and have the spectacles broadcast to anyone with access to Instagram?”
He chuckled. “No, but remember, I’m the one who agreed to becoming a social media star. Well, before I changed my mind. I knew—okay, kinda knew—what I was getting myself into.”
Sloane studied him. “Why did you agree? Really? You can tell me.”
“I know.” He went silent for a second, then sighed. “You ever feel like you’re not enough? That you’re not doing enough?”
“Oh, August, of course I have.” Sloane covered his hand with hers and squeezed. “But you’re more than enough just as you are.”
He shrugged, his eyes darkening with the clearly painful memories. “I haven’t always felt that way.”
Was he talking about his dad? His ex-wife? “It’s the truth.”
“Thanks. In any case, I was having one of those moments.” He chuckled and wiggled his shoulders like he was trying to shake off the heavy mood. “The next thing I knew I was on TV.”
She wanted to press for more, but clearly he wasn’t in the mood to share yet, and she would respect that. He wasn’t one to automatically spill his guts and would only do so when ready. Time to lighten the mood.
“So here’s the thing. Now that we’re a thing, I can’t have you dating other women, just so we’re clear. I know you told me you did it for me, but if you ever get any thoughts about dating other women for real, it ain’t happening.”
The corner of his mouth quirked in genuine humor this time. She’d never get tired of seeing it. “Really? Why not?”
“Because there’s a good chance I’d rip their hair out and/or yours the first time they smiled at you or you looked at them with that patented August intensity.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Patented August intensity?”
“Like you’re really paying attention to them and really hearing them, like we all dream of having in our partner. If you did that, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. And then I’d end up in jail.”
August took a bite of his beef enchilada and swallowed. “Can’t have that, now, can we?”
Her smile bloomed. “No. Ending up in jail was basically what I wrote as one of the cons for you dating Paige before I scratched it out because I didn’t have any claims on you.”
“But now you do.”
“Yeah.” And she couldn’t be happier. “So, are you still up for the social media campaign?”
“Yes.” Again, his face and voice backed up the truth in his words. “Cynthia is still leading her merry band of protestors against us. I want the location to be successful. And I can admit I’ve had a wee bit of fun with all this, so I’m willing to continue to put myself on the forefront of the effort.”
Sloane shimmied her shoulders in a little victory dance. “Fantastic. Then, we’re on to plan B. Or maybe C. I’ve lost count.”
He looked at her in that way that always made her heart flip and remember why she used to believe in love and romance so much. Like he believed in her and was awed by her. “You already have a plan.”
Her heart melted. The look. His belief in her. His willingness to believe in her expertise. Damn, she was stronger than she’d ever given herself credit for. How had she resisted throwing herself at him again all these years since his divorce? She nodded. “I do.”
He spread his hands wide. “Let’s hear it.”
“We need to play to your strengths, not your weaknesses,” she said, leaning forward, the familiar buzz strumming through her veins. She truly loved this. Creating a plan that showcased her client’s strengths and would help get them the results they wanted. That would help them genuinely connect to their target audience. Yes, they might be trying to sell a product, but it was because they believed in it and the good it could do, the good it could provide the community.
August studied her. “What are my weaknesses?”
Of course he asked that. It wasn’t vanity. He wasn’t being flippant. His curiosity about himself, about the world around him, was unmatched. He wanted to be a better, more aware person.
“They’re weaknesses in the sense of what we’re trying to accomplish here. You’re not an attention seeker. You’re not someone content to casually date a bunch of women.”
He nodded in agreement. “And my strengths?”
Too many to count. “You’re someone who cares, who listens. You see the whole picture and underneath the surface to the heart of the matter. You’re truthful, yet kind.”
His head ducked for a moment like he was embarrassed. “Thank you.”
Why was he so unbelievably adorable?
“You’re welcome. It’s the truth.” She sighed. “Here’s some more truth. I’ve been trying to turn you into someone you’re not, and that’s not the path to success.”
“So, what’s your idea? Do you want to talk about our relationship, since people are way too invested in my love life?”
Even as he said it, her gut screamed in protest.
They looked at each other and shook their heads simultaneously.
“No,” they said in unison.
Sloane didn’t need words to know what he was thinking.
What was happening between them was special. Rare. And she didn’t want to share it with the world quite yet. If ever. Which should have gone against everything she stood for as a social media manager, but she didn’t care. She’d always believed you should only share what you were comfortable with.
“Y’all want to be a part of the community, right? To give back?” At his nod, Sloane settled back in her chair. “Trust me. I’ve got a great idea. A couple of them, actually. But first we need to talk to Donovan and Nicholas. No, I didn’t forget about our delayed meeting.”