Chapter Thirty-Nine
August settled on the chair he’d put together with his own two hands and leaned forward to press the red button on his phone. He took a deep, calming breath during the countdown. That did nothing to stop his leg from jiggling with nerves, but luckily, the table hid his limb.
But no time for that now. He stared at the image of himself on his phone screen.
“Thanks for tuning in. The first thing I want to say is I’m very, very nervous. This is the first time I’m doing a Live by myself. It’s the first time in my life I’m intentionally seeking attention for myself. If you’re watching this, you’ve probably joined me on quite the journey over the past few weeks. A journey that had a lot of ups and downs. I wanted to talk about that and give an unvarnished take on what I’ve been through.”
A sense of calm settled through him. His voice came out stronger. More sure. “My name is August Hodges. Not SugarBae. Not pro athlete. As someone much wiser than I once told me, that’s what I do, not who I am. I’m a real human being who bleeds when I’m cut. I hurt, I live, I love just like you. A lot of you discovered me when I gave a little impromptu speech a few weeks ago. What I said resonated with you. I hope what I’m about to say does the same.”
Now for the hardest part—opening up a vein. But he had to do it. Being open and honest had led him to this moment. He couldn’t turn back. More importantly, he didn’t want to. The only way to move forward was to continue to be open and honest. To continue being himself. “I used to think I was unlovable. My mom died when I was young. I don’t have any siblings, at least not the blood kind. My dad and I don’t—didn’t—have the best relationship. My marriage broke up after a few years. I told myself I was okay with that. But really, I wasn’t. I always felt I had to prove myself. I never seemed to be good enough. But I was wrong. Very wrong.”
The certainty of what he was saying swept through him.
“If you take one thing from me, let it be this. No one is unlovable. That doesn’t mean love is going to land in your lap. You have to be open to it. You have to be honest. You have to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is the test I failed for so long. Because I didn’t want to get hurt. Because I didn’t think anyone could love me for me, so why even risk it? People are just going to hurt you in the end, right? In trying to protect myself, I was hurting myself. I wanted love but was too scared to risk being open and hurt to find it.
“But over the course of the past few weeks, I’ve learned that’s no way to live. I didn’t realize that until her. I didn’t know how to love. Until her.”
August chuckled. “Yes, you heard it here first. Straight from my lips. I found love. Not with one of the SugarBaebies, though I’ll always be grateful for your support. But maybe she’s a SugarBaeby, even if she’ll never admit it. All this growth I’ve experienced has been because of her. She pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me a better person. She made me realize I can’t hide. More importantly, I don’t want to hide. I learned that we can make a difference in this world if we try hard enough and don’t give up. If we don’t settle for coasting.”
He shrugged. “Y’all have said you wanted to get to know me better. Well, here is me being as real as I can be.”
The door opened and Sloane walked in. She stopped in front of the table. August met her eyes. A sense of calmness, the sense of rightness he’d been searching for his whole life, settled around him. She was the one.
He stood. “I’m just a guy who doesn’t like talking much, standing in front of a woman, asking her to love me.”
“I do. And that’s all, folks.” Sloane stepped around the table and ended the Live. She slowly turned to face him. “I think we’ve given them enough.”
He nodded. What was said next was only for them. “Hey, sweetness.”
“Hey, MOTY. I’m so proud of you. That was beautiful.” Her voice shook with emotion.
“Don’t cry.” He wiped away a tear slipping down her soft cheek.
“I can’t help it. What you said was so beautiful. I don’t deserve you. I was so focused on getting that job that I never considered the toll all this was taking on you or that I was taking advantage of you. I’m so sorry I made you think I would seriously choose a job over you. No job is worth your well-being or what we have.”
He moved closer. Always closer. “Sending my ex-wife was a wild, brave move.”
She twisted her hands together and made a face. “Did I overstep? I did, didn’t I?”
He reached for her hands and squeezed. “No. Even though I didn’t know it beforehand, talking to Melinda was exactly what I needed to finally let go of the past and look forward to the future.”
“So, y’all are good?”
August chuckled. “As good as you can be with an ex-spouse. It was good to clear the air.”
Relief settled on her face. “I’m happy to hear that.”
“You didn’t send Melinda to talk me into doing a podcast with her.”
Sloane vehemently shook her head. “No. I would never.”
“What about the job, though?”
Sloane let out a rueful laugh. “I’ve been so focused on getting that job, thinking about how it could advance my career, but I never stopped to consider whether it was the right job. And to be perfectly honest, her last request, or command, pissed me all the way off. I thought about showing up at her office and yelling at her, or at least calling to do the same, but I calmed down and thought better of it. I went with a very professional email instead.”
He side-eyed her.
“What? It was! Here. Look for yourself.” She retrieved her phone from her purse and scrolled through it, then handed it back to him.
While I appreciate the opportunity to work for your company, I do not believe I would be a good fit. While I love social media, I don’t believe in using it to exploit people. If used properly and responsibly, social media can be a place devoted to change, community, and goodwill.
August smiled. “Good job. You didn’t burn the place down.”
“I know, right! I even edited it before pressing send, because I am the new and improved Sloane. The email originally said ‘exploit people for shits and giggles.’”
His lips twitched. “I’m so proud of you.” His eyebrows lifted. “You cc’d that dude you hate.”
Sloane shrugged. “If he wants to work there, the job is his. I’m done chasing what I think I should want.”
“At the risk of sounding crass, how are you going to pay your bills? I know you were, understandably, very worried about that.” Despite his interest in her answers to his questions, he couldn’t hold out any longer. He had to touch her. Hold her. He wrapped his arms around her waist. Grinned like a besotted fool when she mirrored his actions.
Her smile warmed every part of his previously frozen heart. “Funny you should ask. As it so happens, I’ve accepted another position. You are looking at Sugar Blitz’s newest director of social media and community outreach. I’ve fussed at you about making sure you don’t gentrify the neighborhood. Now I’m in a position to make sure it doesn’t happen.”
He lowered his forehead to hers. She was the most brilliant person he knew. “It’s perfect for you, but…”
“But why did I accept after saying, incessantly, that I didn’t want to rely on my brother or any man?”
“Yeah. That.”
Sloane laughed. “My brother gives pretty decent advice when he isn’t trying to run my life. He made me see that I was my own worst enemy, too scared to reach out and take what was absolutely perfect for me. I don’t want to be scared. Or at least I don’t want to let the fear win. Working for Sugar Blitz doesn’t make me less than, especially if it’s work that I love. And I do. This is the most fun I’ve had at a job ever. How many people can say that? Why run from it? And let’s be real. I did an amazing job. Plus, I came up with the job title and description. I don’t want him getting too much credit. He already thinks he knows everything.”
“Very true. I’m absolutely thrilled for you and Sugar Blitz.” He drew her closer. “Speaking of love, can I get you to repeat what you said earlier?”
“You mean about loving my job? Oh, yeah, I do.” She grinned when he growled. “Oh, that’s not what you’re talking about? How about this? I love you with all of my heart, and I’m so sorry I gave you cause to believe otherwise. You are my world. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more.”
“That’s better.” He cradled her cheeks between his hands. “I love you, sweetness.”
Her blinding smile melted his heart. “I’m totally a SugarBaeby.”
“I know. Now kiss me.”
“Your wish is my command.”
August drew her flush against him and met her halfway for the most extraordinary kiss of all time. Sweet and loving. He poured all his love for her into the embrace. How had he managed to make it through the last few days without holding her, touching her, kissing her? Her mouth was heaven. Being with her was better.
Eventually, he became aware of a noise. Reluctantly, he pulled away and turned toward the commotion. A large crowd had gathered outside. Thankfully, he’d finally remembered to lock the front door. The group, led by Cynthia and Ben Franklin, were chanting something. Beside him, Sloane started giggling.
He cocked his head to the side. “Are they—”
“Chanting SugarBae, SugarBae ? Oh, yeah. You’re so going viral again.”
He drew her back into his arms and lowered his head. “No, we are.”