Chapter 11 Grayson
Grayson
EARLIER
River left the room and I tried to get myself to believe that every conversation we had got a little bit better, but that was a stretch.
The fact that he was talking to me at all was good enough and I knew that he didn’t think I was a bad person.
I knew I wasn’t a bad person. I made a choice and I thought that choice only involved me and people I didn’t know.
That was an odd way to think about it. The fact that I would have made different decisions based on the fact that I cared about the people involved.
I should have stood up and fought back the minute the idea of kidnapping witches even came up, regardless of my familiarity with them.
Did that make me a coward? I didn’t know how to answer that.
Chancellor Fowler wasn’t a particularly scary man, but what he could do, how he spoke…
that was what sent a chill down my spine.
I couldn’t comprehend how Riley could be related to him.
She was this little ray of light that I liked being around and associating myself with Chancellor Fowler had shattered that light into a million pieces and ultimately, I had helped him.
That’s all she saw when she looked or thought about me.
I was determined to change that and help her. I wanted to help all of them.
My lolo used to say: hindi mahalaga kung ano man ang tagumpay na iyong narating kung hindi mo naman kayang ipagmalaki kung paano mo ito nakuha
The achievement doesn't matter if you aren't proud of how you acquired it.
I ran my fingers along the dampener I wore and it made me think about my powers.
It was times like this that I wished I had just inherited my father’s shifting ability.
Shadows had gotten me in trouble and the fact that I had worked so hard to understand and perfect them made the situation even worse.
I sighed, looking around the room. Their guest room had a half bath and a window that let in natural light.
I wasn’t complaining and I had been doing fine until I heard her voice.
I kept quiet because if I’d bombarded into their conversation, it would have escalated to a level I didn’t want.
All I wanted to do was let my shadows out and move towards her.
Comfort her with them like I used to and make her feel good.
I could wait…I was patient enough. I had been patient and waited for her to be okay with accepting both me and River into her bed, so I could wait for this.
River had eaten lunch with me, made small talk and left. It was just me in this room now. I heard a throat clear and the door nudge open. Asher pushed it open some more and leaned against the threshold.
He looked annoyed, but honestly, that’s just how Asher always presented himself. “My brother has informed me that you’ll be staying here for the time being, even though your dorm room is perfectly adequate.”
I pinched my eyebrows together. “I would think you would want me under your thumb for the long haul.”
Asher sighed. “One would think, but now that she’s here, I’m worried this will cause more problems then solve them.”
I walked over to him, placing my hands in my pockets. “I’ll tell you what I told River. I want to help, and more importantly, I want to help her. If she wants to talk to me then I’ll be ecstatic about it. If she wants to pretend that I’m not here then okay, I’ll deal.”
Asher looked me up and down and chuckled. He removed his glasses, cleaning them with the bottom of his shirt, then placing them back on his nose. “You really think you can be around here and not just assert yourself into her space?”
I smirked, crossing my arms over my chest. “It can’t be that hard. You do it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I rolled my eyes. “I can admit that I fucked up. I can admit my relationship with her might not ever be the same. I can even admit that I am a little bit in love with her, but you can’t even admit that you have to work to restrain yourself and try not to be in her personal space.”
“Stop making something into a bigger issue and also deflecting. I’m her teacher, so I think I know how to act professionally.”
I scoffed. “Oh right, I’m sure it’s very professional for teachers to fuck their students on a bathroom sink or you know, shove their dick down their throat until they gag. You ask me if I can deal with being in this space with her, when I wonder the same thing about you.”
Asher sucked his teeth, staring me down.
He was the kind of person that could have a full-on hour-long debate, but he had to know that I could also spend an hour on the defense, throwing things right back in his face.
I was trying to get back into Riley’s good graces, not his.
Eventually, he clucked his tongue. “You aren’t really making me lean your way in the whole staying in my house decision.
You should work on your negotiation skills. ”
“Well, that’s okay, because despite how amazing the St. James brothers are, you guys probably need me. I’d like to use my powers for something good this time and shadows can be quite versatile.”
He turned away from me, leaving the door open. I took that as my cue to follow him.
“I’ve never been a fan of group projects, hence why I never fucking assign them,” he muttered under his breath.
I ignored him, asking my own question. “Where did River go?”
He looked over his shoulder, stepping into the kitchen. “He took out Riley’s dog. I have a feeling a trip to the pet store for dog food will be in River’s future.”
I drummed my fingers on the counter, considering how I wanted to proceed. “She’s officially going to go back to school?”
Asher paused before opening the fridge. “She has to, Grayson.”
I looked up towards where River’s room was and every fiber of my being wanted to rush upstairs and talk to her. I blinked, removing my eyes from the second floor and focused back on Asher, who was staring at me.
“Don’t even think about it. I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping.” He threw a stern look in my direction, but instead of intimidating me like I knew he wanted it to, all it did was make me way more curious about his intention with her.
“I wasn’t planning on it. Like I said, I’ll respect her wishes.”
“Good. Maybe this won’t be such an awful idea after all.” He poured himself a drink and then went to a cabinet, pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I narrowed my eyes. “It’s like four in the afternoon.”
He stared at his glass, letting out a sigh, but continued to make his drink.
“In a short period of time, a lot of alarming shit has happened, so excuse me for wanting one drink. And don’t ask me for one because the answer will be fuck no.
” He took a sip, swallowed and ran a hand along the back of his neck.
I walked around the counter, closing our distance. “Do you have an actual plan for when school starts, Asher? Or are you just hoping that a plan will arise, but making all of us believe that you have it together?”
He licked his lips and turned to look at me, his hip leaning against the counter.
“The school wants to act like everything is fine, so we will too. At some point she will have to want to get close to Chancellor Fowler. But as long as it doesn’t look like we are hiding her or she’s running then it will feel like compliance.
When the time comes, are you willing to use that incredibly versatile power of yours to trap someone, snap a neck, seep into any orifice and infiltrate enough to kill from the inside?
I mean you kidnapped people, but could you take it a step further? ”
“I—” I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
“Chancellor Fowler is more than willing to do those things, our own father is more than willing to ruin lives to achieve what he wants, so hesitation isn’t acceptable.”
I gave him a confused look. “You think I don’t know that?”
“Your lack of an answer is very telling.”
I stepped back and turned around, needing to stare into the empty front entrance, I blew out a breath, thinking back to that moment in that disastrous meeting. The moment I heard their dad’s voice in my head.
It’s her. She’s the one. Take her now.
I’d looked at Riley and I’d…hesitated. Of course I hesitated.
I still had no idea what I was doing any of this for.
I didn’t want her to be like the other girls.
I’d seen their faces when I’d pick them back up to leave them somewhere to be found.
I’d refused him in my head, but he’d just gotten louder.
Do it! Take her to him now. You understand what’s at stake.
I reasoned and rationalized with myself in a matter of seconds that she would be fine.
This would all stop once I took her and then I could take her back.
I would stay and apologize for bringing her into that situation and we could work through it.
If she was the one, then Chancellor Fowler wouldn’t need the witch he used before to go into her mind.
They could have a civil conversation or something. Everything should have been fine.
Oliver St. James’s voice reverberated through my head constantly.
It’s her. She’s the one. Take her now.
Their own father was more than willing to ruin lives…I was well aware. I’m sure the chancellor would have found her at some point, but I’d sped up the timeline.
My voice was a whisper when I spoke, “I hear him in my head sometimes.”
I heard his glass slam down on the counter. “Our dad is still talking to you?!”
“No, not anything new, just from before.”
The house was quiet around us and I felt like I was back in that room with her. The moment right after Chancellor Fowler had thrown those glass pieces at Marianne and the world shifted. The moment I knew my association with everything that happened would make her hate me.