Chapter 47 River
River
Being in my own head sucked. Not being able to wake up and end said loneliness was even worse.
The wild part was that I wasn’t technically alone.
I could hear the beeps of machines, the chatter of people and whatever was playing on the TV.
The art of opening up your eyes and seeing a new day was something people took for granted, because the moment I realized I couldn’t do it so easily had me wanting to scream.
My eyes were one thing, but my mind was another.
It was like I was on drugs with the way I fumbled around in my own head. I couldn’t turn my powers on, nor could I even attempt to let anyone else in. My brain felt like it was drunk. I felt pain in my physical body but the act of trying to remember what happened was pointless at the moment.
Little by little whatever was holding me back lifted. I could stretch my telepathy legs and it felt good. There was a hand touching mine, a hard squeeze and then I heard two people talking over me.
“It should be wearing off, so you are welcome to try. I wouldn’t push too hard.”
Asher’s deep voice made its way into my ears. “But it could help him wake up?”
Who I assumed was the doctor answered, “It could, but that’s not my official advice.”
Footsteps sounded and disappeared, while Asher’s hand moved into my hair, brushing pieces of it away from my forehead. My eyes felt glued shut and even though I was in an awakened state, I still felt trapped in some kind of subconscious lockdown.
Something pushed against my head, letting itself in and moving around as if it had been here before.
I stood in that empty space in my head, waiting.
Vertigo hit me and I leaned against the walls of my mind.
I pressed my hand to the side of my head, the feeling passing.
Whatever medicine they’d given me must be wearing off in the worst way possible because this was fucking awful.
A hand landed on my shoulder. “River, hey, it’s me.”
I peeked up at my brother, concerned etched onto his face. “Why does it feel like bones are broken?”
Asher pressed his lips into a hard line. “Because they are.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck indeed.”
Asher explained what happened as best he could and I slid down onto the floor of my mind. I was happy to be alive, but man this was not what I planned for. Not to mention the fact that my bike was also completely ruined.
“You’ll have to get a normal vehicle with four wheels now.” Asher sat down in front of me.
“Hmm, I wouldn’t go that far.” I looked around me, this place I was in was familiar to me, but then again it wasn’t.
“Why do I recognize this somehow?” It was dimly lit and there was nothing around but there was something about this place I found myself in.
Like it was once something completely different.
Asher slid his hand down his pants legs. “The medicine they gave you numbed you and your powers. I guess a safeguard. You mentally went to a place you’ve…created before. Now as an adult you don’t make it so dark. That’s my working theory.”
“What?”
He dropped his head, shaking it. “After all your awful moments with dad, you’d go to sleep and you’d end up here. Back then, it was pitch black and every single time, I’d have to find you.”
I tilted my head to the side, trying to think that far back.
Anytime I’d think back to all the times my dad was horrible, the same room came to mind, but it was filled with light and a wave of calm enveloped me.
I thought it was my own kind of coping mechanism for when I found myself back in those thoughts.
Maybe I didn’t create those things at all.
Asher was never a dictator, but he wasn’t ever easy on me.
He wanted me to be good at my powers, but he didn’t care if I was the best. He wanted me to take care of myself but was fine if I made a few mistakes.
He knew who I was and he didn’t judge me for it.
My happiness, my safety, those things were his top priority and whether it was my dad or even Riley, he would make sure to always look out for me.
“You’ve always been there, haven’t you?”
Asher nodded. “At least now,” he waved his hand around the space, “you know how to create your own light. Now it’s just time that you woke yourself up.”
I rubbed my hands together. “Asher, I don’t think I tell you this enough, if ever, but thanks.”
He let out a short laugh. “Don’t mention it, but sometimes all I want is for you to listen to me.
I know you can do things for yourself, but I can admit that sometimes when I look at you—” he got up from the floor and held his hand out to me.
I took it, standing in front of him. “I see that same kid balled up in a corner because his dad didn’t know how to fucking talk to him. ”
I took in a shaky breath, instantly remembering my dad’s screams and him throwing me disgusted and unimpressed looks. The next day I always felt better, I could move on as if nothing happened. I’d always thought I made that happen for myself.
“Alright, alright. I just want to wake up and see Riley and Grayson.”
Asher gave me a pained look.
I pointed my finger at him. “I don’t like that face.”
My brother took a few steps back, placing a hand on his hip. “We get you out of here and I’ll explain about Riley.”
“No, you’ll tell me now.”
He closed his eyes, clearly annoyed. “I tell you now and you might sink deeper into this space due to stress. Let’s wake you up, see how much physical therapy you’ll need and make sure you’re all good. Then I promise I will catch you up to speed.” He held his hand out for me to shake.
His tone was clear and authoritative, but he was probably right. Emotions blend with any kind of magic whether it be in a good way or bad. I was ready to get out of the state I was in and open my eyes.
I grabbed his hand and shook it. “Fine. Let’s wake me up.”