Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
“WALKING ON SUNSHINE”
“So, Harlow says we’re really cute together, and she loves how protective you are of me,” I related from where I sat astride my guy on my bed.
Activities that happy Saturday were such that I’d switched out shirts and was now in his army tee (no panties) and Knox was wearing nothing but the sheet to his waist and his sling.
Jacques was curled at my knee that was flush with Knox’s ribs, so Knox could pet both of us, and Jacques could snooze.
I had my phone, and I was going through the bevy of texts I got after all that went down that morning, along with some that came in the afternoon.
“Ditto with Jessie, though she focused more on the protection thing and apologized about giving me too much space,” I carried on.
I went out of Jessie’s text and into some others.
“On another note, apparently, Alexis has asked Martha to give her away, Bill and Zach are pouting because they wanted to do it, and Joey wants to know where you work out.”
Knox chuckled.
I tossed my phone aside, and being careful with his shoulder, and my dog (pooches needed uninterrupted naps, says me), I bent toward him and declared, “This being out and proud business is the bomb.”
“Yeah, it is,” Knox said through a smile.
“Who knew?” I asked. “I thought it’d be annoying.”
“Babe?” he called, even though I was right in his face.
“What?” I answered, even though I was right in his face.
He stopped petting Jacques to tug on his tee I was wearing.
Here we go.
“Knox,” I said shakily.
The jig, of course, was up, case in point, me straddling him, with him being naked in my bed.
But I knew that took it to a new level.
“You never let me go,” he whispered.
I pressed my lips together…hard.
He watched me do that then noted, “You gotta know that means everything to me.”
Okay, this was us?
Not a question.
This was us.
Honesty. Putting it out there. With our friends. With each other.
I needed to do this, no matter how vulnerable it made me feel.
“That two weeks was the best two weeks of my life.”
He grunted, and proving he didn’t get the memo of uninterrupted pup naps, rolled, Jacques woke and scurried away, and Knox was on top of me.
“Knox, your—”
He framed my face with his two big hands, and I shut up about his injuries.
“Hear me, Luna, when I repeat that means everything to me,” he growled.
Oo.
I loved his growl.
Even so…
“I thought I was…I…” Ugh, I had to give this to him. “I thought I was in deeper than you.”
His forehead came to mine, knowing him taking things up with Cheyenne made me feel that way, and he whispered, “Baby.”
“It never feels good to be the one on that side of a relationship.”
“You weren’t.”
“I get that now, but…” I shrugged against the mattress. “There it is.”
“That’s never going to be you.”
I blinked at the fierceness of his tone.
“I’m so deep in this for you, it was like the last year was a fuckin’ fever dream, daily torture, and I couldn’t wake up,” he declared.
Oh God.
I hated that for the both of us, especially him.
I ran my hands up his back.
“I’m like Jacob,” he stated. “I’m gonna spend the rest of my life breaking my back to prove I’m worthy of you.”
Now…
Hang on a ding-dang second.
“Knox—”
He touched his mouth to mine, lifted his head, and said, “No discussion. It’s just what it is. You want a dance studio, I’ll build it with my own hands if I have to.”
“I’m not a ballerina, and I consider any kind of activity, except shopping, sex, serving, interior design and the occasional organization project, anathema.”
He ignored me. “You wanna go to Paris, pack, we’re on a plane.”
“Knox—”
“You want a mansion like Mace and Stella in Paradise Valley, I’ll take bouncer jobs to add to our income so I can give it to you.”
“Stop it, Knox.”
He put gentle pressure on my head with his hands. “You need to get this, baby.”
“And you need to get…baby…that isn’t how it works,” I snapped.
When my temper suddenly flared, he stared down at me in surprise.
I pushed him off to his side (right, he helped because he rolled, no way I could push that mountain of muscle off me on my own steam) and got up to my hand to loom over him.
“You know, if I ever see your mother, I’m fucking that bitch up.”
“Luna—”
“Granted, if your dad was backhanding her, and obviously the whole drug dealer thing was bullshit, I totally understand her need to get away. But disappearing? Not fighting for you? Up in smoke except for sending money, no phone calls, not even heartfelt letters about how much she missed you, until it’s easy for her to find you and reach out on her own time. Nah. That’s total horseshit.”
“Baby—”
“Or if I see your dad, your brothers,” I shook an irate finger at him. “Definitely fucking Gypsy.”
He pushed up to an elbow. “Babe—”
“And we are going to your next high school reunion because I have a few things to say to all those assholes too.”
“Beautiful—”
“No, fuck no, Knox.”
I adjusted to sitting fully on my ass and railed on.
“I know this work I have to do isn’t going to be about words, and it’s not going to take solely an afternoon, chipping away at the wall of compacted shit they left that you feel you need to climb to get to anything good.
But I’ve got a pickax, handsome, and a shovel, and hella determination, so I’ll get through it eventually.
But right now, know I never washed this shirt. ”
I pulled it from my chest and let it go.
Then kept on ranting.
“It stopped smelling of you ages ago, but with it there, I could still pretend I was going to bed with you every night. I did that because you made me incredibly happy. You make me incredibly happy. You. The man you made from all that rot. I don’t need trips to Paris or to live in mansions.
I need you in my bed at night, or to be in yours.
I don’t care if you slide into it at three in the morning.
The only thing I need, I have right here.
” I touched his chest. “And you are not deeper in this than me. We’re both drowning. And the water feels fuckin’ great.”
He had to adjust to sitting so he could use the hand on his good arm to grab me behind my head, pull my mouth to his, and kiss me to insensibility.
When he was done, I warned, more than a little breathlessly, “Mark me, my man, if that’s my reward, I’m making pompous speeches a lot.”
He burst out laughing, wrapping his arm around me and falling to his back with me on top.
I adjusted accordingly to not put pressure on his bad shoulder and watched him laugh.
I could visit all the wonders of the world, and honest to God, not one of them would be more amazing than watching my guy laugh.
“Right,” he said, his voice still trembling with humor, “before we instigate the lead up to round three—”
“Three?”
“You rode me twice, I rode you once, with you bitching the entire time it took me to get you to orgasm that I was going to tear open my stitches. That’s three.”
“There was the preliminary blowjob,” I pointed out. “Are you saying that doesn’t count?”
He paused to consider this, and then he said, “Right, so I need to eat you out this time to even things up.”
“If we could add penetration, just making the note, I’m always down for that.”
“Note taken.” He was grinning. “Now can I get back to the important shit we need to talk about before we do any of that?”
“Hurry. If I’m getting head, I don’t want to wait very long.”
He chuckled, and that was gorgeous too, but not as gorgeous as him laughing.
Then he said, “The Russians.”
Ulk.
I rolled off him to my back, and now it was Knox looming over me.
“Was it Alexeyev who came to talk to you?” he asked.
I nodded.
“And he told you to back off my family.”
Oh God.
I was seeing this honesty thing was going to be a pain in my ass.
“Yes. He told us that. He also said…” Goddamn it! “Gypsy’s been in touch. She’s worried about you, and she wants a sit-down.”
Knox didn’t move.
“I did inform Dimitri that I’m not Gypsy’s go-between, but—”
“She’s worried about me?” he asked.
I couldn’t get a handle on how he was taking this, so it was hesitant when I confirmed, “Yeah.”
He turned away from me and shifted to sitting.
But he did this only, it seemed, so he could stare across the room and say nothing.
“Honey?” I called, pushing up to rest on my ass beside him.
“They’ve fractured,” he said to the far wall.
“What?” I asked.
He turned his head to me. “Gypsy and Rocco and Dad, Crew and Poe. They’ve fractured.
Gypsy and Rocco tried to talk Dad into stepping down.
He refused. Like I told you, he’s gotta be the big man.
The problem is, Rocco has got this shit down.
He’s a criminal mastermind. And Dad, Crew and Poe’s bumbling, small-time shit is fucking with his ambitions.
He needs them out. They’re messing with his rep.
The big men he needs to impress know what Dad, Crew and Poe are worth to an operation, and it’s not what Rocco can offer, and the longer he stays tied to them, the longer they hold him back. ”
“Okay,” I said when he stopped talking.
“So they’ve fractured,” he repeated. “Gypsy and Rocco told Dad the way it was going to be, Dad lost his mind, and since they have no minds of their own, except Dad’s, Crew and Poe lost theirs, and my family is at war.”
It felt like my lungs froze because that was really bad.
“Oh my God,” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he agreed.
“And so the sit-down with Rocco…” I let that trail off.