Chapter 10
Hunter
“You did good, kid,” Ryker rumbled above me.
I winced at the nickname even as I flushed with pride at his compliment. Straightening from my corner where I’d been riffling through the sheet music Leif had given me earlier, I turned to face Ryker. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I was starting to wonder there at the end.”
Leif had found very few nice things to say before he took off a few minutes ago, and the last twenty minutes had been an exercise in patience for me.
I didn’t know the song so I’d been sight-reading the music, and I’d missed a few beats.
Okay, more than a few beats. But I’d never even heard the song before, and this was literally my first time playing with all of them.
Apparently Leif didn’t have any grace to give though. He’d been riding my ass on every little mistake. It’d made Iz tense; she’d slipped out before we finished and after Leif handed my ass to me the second time but before the third.
It was so fucking demoralizing.
I knew building a rapport with the guys would take time, but it felt like Leif had it out for me.
“It’ll take time, kid. Don’t sweat it.” Ryker clapped me on the shoulder. “You’ve got my vote.”
I closed my eyes. I really didn’t need the reminder of that damn vote hanging over my head. “Thanks, man.” I laughed uncomfortably. “At least I have you on my side. And Beau seemed happy. Mal too.”
Ryker lifted a shoulder. “Doesn’t really matter. It’s gotta be unanimous.”
It felt like the bottom dropped out of my world. I didn’t realize.
No way was Leif ever going to side with me. The man had it out for me since day one.
“Shit.”
Ryker nodded. “I’m starting to think Leif is setting us all up for failure.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was going to go solo, but then Gio OD’ed and he changed his mind. Wanted to do the whole kumbaya we’re a family thing. Only now…” He sighed. “He’s been difficult lately. Maybe it’s nothing. You know how diva-ish lead singers can be.”
I snorted derisively. My lead singer had imploded my whole band. “Yeah.”
“Cheer up, kid. You’ve got a whole month to turn the tide. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
Only it didn’t feel like that.
As I drove away from Beau’s house with the sheet music on the passenger seat next to me, it felt like a ticking bomb waiting to go off.
Just when I thought I’d done it, made the break of all breaks, it felt like it was slipping through my fingers. Unanimous? With the way Leif had been acting since day fucking one?
I had the fricking Sword of Damocles hanging over my head, and there was no getting away from it.
I should’ve paid more attention in history class because I couldn’t remember how that story ended.
Of course I was going to work my ass off, but given how practice had gone today, somehow I didn’t think time was going to help my case. Leif had it out for me. I wasn’t going to change his opinion. No amount of practice or bullshitting was going to sway him.
He’d already written me off. I saw it in his eyes when he left.
He didn’t think much of me or my playing.
Fuck.
Why even give me the chance? It felt like the worst kind of tease. Here’s your dream job, but yoink, you can only have it for a minute.
I blinked and realized while I’d been all deep in my thoughts, my subconscious had taken me to the one person who’d always loved me no matter what.
My mom.
Her place in the San Fernando Valley wasn’t the best, but it held some of my best memories.
But also some of the worst.
I took a look at the clock and decided I had enough time to venture a visit without running into him.
Pulling up to the curb, I took in the long grass and dandelion strewn front yard and sighed.
Of course that asshole didn’t make time to clean up the front yard.
That just got in the way of his drunken stupor.
And judging by the time, I couldn’t do it today either since I wanted to avoid running into him.
I locked my beloved Charger and headed for the front door. The walkway was pockmarked, ancient, and full of long weeds. Ma wouldn’t be able to get to the sidewalk without help.
Reaching the front door, I scowled at the peeling paint and pressed the doorbell. A few muffled thumps came from inside, but that was normal. I waited patiently for her to open the door.
A full four minutes after I pressed the bell, the door opened to reveal my mom. And I smiled at the sight.
“Hunter!” She squealed, clapping her hands before resting them in her lap in her wheelchair.
I bent down and wrapped an arm around her frail back in a poor facsimile of the hugs I used to get from her. But then that was before.
Before the car accident that changed everything.
Before she was paralyzed from the waist down because of him.
Shaking my head, I forced myself to stay in the present. “Hey, Ma. I was on my way home after practice and wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“Come in. Come in!” She laughed. “You just missed your father. He went to go get groceries.”
“It’s two o’clock—shouldn’t he be at work?”
Mom’s hands paused on her wheels, then she gave them a determined push. “He got laid off last week. But he’s already got some feelers out for a new job.”
‘Laid off’ was usually code for getting fired because he showed up drunk. That was Dad’s specialty.
But I knew better than to comment. I wasn’t here for a fight. I just wanted some quality time with my mom. Some of that unconditional love she was brimming with. And maybe some of her optimism. I could really use some of that magic about now.
“So tell me about the new band. You said you signed with someone new?”
I winced. “Yeah. I can’t actually talk about the details. I signed an NDA so I probably shouldn’t have told you as much as I already did.”
“Oh pish.” Mom blew a raspberry and waved her hands. “Who am I going to tell? All our neighbors moved away years ago, and your brother hardly ever calls. It’s just me and your dad here.”
Who had no filter when he was a few beers in. I tipped my head. “Yeah, but still. There’s a hefty penalty clause.” That part of the contract I clearly remembered. “Besides, it’s still kinda in the audition phase. It might not be a permanent position.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re voting on me at the end of the month, and it’s gotta be unanimous. And let’s just say that the lead singer has his doubts.”
“Oh honey. It’ll work out. I bet by the end of the month he’ll love you and wonder how they ever performed without you. You just wait and see.”
“Thanks, Ma.” I smiled at her. Now that was the dopamine hit I’d been here for.
“So, how’s things with you and Cheyenne? Are we going to hear wedding bells soon? I bet I could talk to Father Thomas and get the church booked for you two. I can’t remember—is she Catholic?”
I sighed. And just like that, it was gone. “No, she’s not.”
“Well, no matter. I don’t think they’re so fussed about that anymore. As long as she hasn’t been married before. She hasn’t, has she?”
“It doesn’t matter, Ma. We broke up.”
“Oh.” She winced. “Sorry, Hunter.”
I shrugged. “Wasn’t meant to be. I think I’m not made for marriage anyway.”
“Don’t say that. God’s listening!”
My hands itched to rub my face. This had been a mistake.
I should’ve called and broke the news to her first. I knew she was eager for me to settle down, despite her doubts about Cheyenne.
They hadn’t exactly gotten along the one time I’d introduced them backstage last year.
Mom had taken one look at Cheyenne’s skin-tight dress and big hair and given me her patented look of disapproval.
Actually, I was surprised she wasn’t happy about our breakup. Usually by now she’d have a ‘good girl’ or two she’d be dying to introduce me to.
“There is this new young woman at my church—”
I stood up. “I should get going. With the traffic, it’ll take me forever to get home.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” Mom shook her head. “I just want the best for you. Someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone on your side always. Someone to make a family with.”
“I don’t know that it’s in the cards for me, Ma.
I’m already thirty-six and with my transitory lifestyle, it’s not exactly easy to meet the right kind of girl.
” And yet for some reason, Izzy popped up in my mind.
With her doe eyes and home-baked cookies, she was exactly the kind of girl my mom would approve of.
Not that I was looking for any girl.
“Which is why you should let me introduce you to some of these girls I know.”
“Who are you introducing to the kid?”
I closed my eyes as my dad’s voice rumbled through the house.
So close and yet so far from freedom.
“Hey Dad.”
He didn’t even pause as he stomped through the living room to the tiny kitchen beyond with his hands full of groceries.
Of course a case of beer took up one whole arm.
Back when I’d been younger, I would’ve jumped up and offered to help—more out of fear than obligation.
But those days ended around when I’d turned sixteen.
Mostly because I was big enough to finally stand up for myself.
Fuck. I should’ve called.
But then again, he should’ve been at work so…
A clunk came from the kitchen and was followed by his plodding tread back to the living room.
I was still standing by the sofa that hadn’t changed since my parents got it twenty years ago, my mom in her chair next to me.
“So who are you introducing to the kid? I thought he was all big and important now. Shouldn’t he be introducing us to people? Or are you ashamed of us?”
Judging by his bellow and the snide way he said kid, he’d already had at least one beer on the drive home from the store.
Shaking my head, I turned to my mom. “I’m gonna head out. Love you.”
She sent a painfilled look at me, silently pleading with me to make nice with him.
Not happening. That ship had sailed long ago.
She must’ve seen the resolve on my face because she turned to Dad and said, “Girls from the church. It’s long past time for Hunter to settle down with a nice girl.”
Dad just scoffed. “He’s a big-time rock star, Kimber. He’s got girls coming out of his ears. He’s not interested in straitlaced church girls. Right, kid?”
“Not really.”
“He just broke up with his girlfriend, Theo.”
Mom’s tone was understanding. The light in Dad’s eyes definitely was not.
“Right.” He cocked his head. “Kinda suspicious timing since you’re about to make it big.”
“It wasn’t working out.” Like hell was I going to give the asshole the ammo of what’d really happened with Cheyenne.
“And it might not be working out with the band either,” Mom said as she sent a beseeching look Dad’s way.
I closed my eyes in surrender.
The laugh Dad gave made the hair on the back of my neck stand up —all superior and sarcastic. It’d been the soundtrack of my childhood. Because nothing ever made this miserable man happy.
“Of course it is. Why did I ever think the kid could finally—finally—make something of himself after all these years? Geez, kid, how’d you fuck it up this time?”
I tipped my head at my mom, who had hunched down in her chair, her shoulders almost even with her ears as she tried to make herself less visible.
“Nothing’s been fucked up.” I shrugged. “I’m on probation or whatever. It’ll be fine. I’ll make it with them. You’ll see.”
Dad gave another one of those condescending barks of laughter. “Sure, kid. Sure.”
“Right. Gotta get back to practicing. I’ll call you later, Ma.” I bent down to hug her again. This time the hug felt limp and weak, not at all what I’d come here for.
Mom kissed my cheek and mouthed a silent ‘sorry.’
A word she’d never dare to say where he could hear her.
I don’t know why I bothered.
I tipped my head at the asshole still standing on the other side of the room then headed for the door.
And he just let me go.
Usually his bullshit pumped me up and made me eager to prove him wrong.
But somehow, this time, hearing all my doubts and insecurities voiced by him made them all the more real.
And insurmountable.
As I pulled away from my parents’ house, I felt more lost than I had when I’d arrived.