Chapter 13
Izzy
My phone buzzed on the nightstand.
I groaned and rolled over. My head hurt so much. I couldn’t even bear to open my eyes.
My phone buzzed rhythmically, rattling the entire table.
I slapped at it. It was too early.
“Iz? Are you there? Izzy?” Alexis’ tinny voice came from far away.
Groaning, I blindly groped for my phone. Miraculously, I didn’t hang up on her before I finally held my phone up to my ear. “What?”
“Oof. Late night?”
She sounded entirely too chipper for this early in the morning.
“I guess. We went to see the Tin Gods play with the LA Philharmonic.”
“So Beau is finally stepping up? Good.” Alexis grunted her approval.
“Eh…”
“Oh Christ. Really? Please don’t tell me that he ditched you again for the step-monster.”
“Um…” I was too tired to come up with a response. My feelings were still in such a tangle from last night—I didn’t know where to start.
“Sounds like it’s time to call it. Do you need help arranging your flight home? Do you have enough to cover it? Mom and Dad are eager to see you again. You can stay with us while we try to sort out…everything else.”
I had to pull the phone away. The reminder of what was or what wasn’t waiting for me back home had my stomach clenching in denial.
Alexis rattled on about plans and flights. It took her a whole two minutes to notice I wasn’t agreeing or even saying anything.
Meanwhile, I tried not to gag.
“Izzy? Iz! Are you okay? Oh god. I hate being so far away. I wish I was there.”
But I…didn’t. I felt bad for thinking it, but having Alexis and home so far away had been a welcome escape. Even if LA and Beau hadn’t turned out like I’d hoped.
Although there was a new, exciting development last night.
“That’s it. I’m flying down there. I’ll help you pack up, give that asshole a piece of my mind, and then we’ll fly home together.”
That snapped me out of my little play-by-play of Hunter’s kiss last night. “A, no. Don’t!”
Pained silence thrummed over the line.
Her voice was soft and confused when she finally whispered, “What? Why? I just want to help you.”
“I know, A. I just…I need to do this myself. Whatever happens with Beau needs to be on my terms. I need to be able to stand on my own two feet, now more than ever.”
“Iz, it’s not a weakness to lean on the people who love you. It’s okay to ask for help.”
“I know that. But I’m not there. Things here are…complicated.” That was definitely an understatement. “But I’ve made some friends. And things with Beau are… I guess they’ll take time. It’s not all because of her. I know I haven’t been the easiest to connect with.”
“That is not your fault.”
“I know. I just…I want to try a little longer. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“And I love you so much for that.” Even if it was making me pull away.
I just couldn’t face going back. I don’t know when I’d ever be able to face it.
I didn’t want to think about the other side of this trip.
“I love you too. You’re my person. I chose you.”
“Same, bitch. Same.”
Her husky laughter came over the line.
I pushed the hair off my forehead and sighed. “So tell me all the gossip. What’s going on at work? Is your boss still being a tool?”
Soon we were giggling about the drama at her job like old times.
And yet it didn’t escape my notice that I didn’t share with her what was really going on here. About Beau. About Hunter. About the big-brother stare-down Mal gave Hunter last night. Usually that was the exact kinda thing I’d share with my bestie.
But not this time.
And I didn’t know what to think about that.
After another promise to talk later, I ended the call with Alexis and gingerly crawled out of bed. I drank way too much champagne last night. My head pounded as I went through my morning routine. I skipped the yoga because standing was a challenge at the moment.
Feeling a little better after some Tylenol and a shower, I gingerly made my way to the kitchen, clutching my phone in one hand.
And just like yesterday, the empty house echoed around me. Carmen didn’t work weekends, and with Beau and the step-monster in San Diego, I was flying solo.
Oddly, the knowledge didn’t fill me with anger like it had yesterday. Probably because my thoughts were full of Hunter and that amazing kiss last night. We didn’t have time to talk about anything with the concert on full blast and the way Mal had hustled us out the second their encore was over.
I had almost expected a disappointed-dad lecture on the ride home, but Mal hadn’t gone there. Talk in the car had mostly been about the concert and how he wanted to do something similar once things calmed down. And promises from Saylor to hang out.
But that kiss! And the promise in Hunter’s eyes as Saylor pulled me out of the box…
Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Clearly I’d had more than my share of champagne last night. Maybe Hunter had been just as buzzed and lost in the moment last night.
That thought deflated me.
As I gathered the ingredients to make my breakfast, I thought of all the reasons this thing with Hunter wouldn’t go anywhere.
One, he was a member of my—Beau’s—band. Two, he was gorgeous and perfect.
Three, I was…me. I saw his previous girlfriend; she was the definition of California Barbie—from her hair to her slim build to her gravity-defying boobs. That just wasn’t me.
Don’t get me wrong—I liked who I was. But I’d never be that.
I was thicc. I had long, shiny brown hair I was proud of. And between you and me, my boobs were spectacular. But they also came with my rounded tummy and a cart of jello in the rear.
I’d never been so aware of my body as I was since I’d come to California. It felt like everywhere I looked, women were slim and fit and…perfect.
Everything I wasn’t.
Maybe Alexis was right. Maybe it was time to go home.
Almost like I’d summoned her, my phone chimed.
Only the message wasn’t from A.
Saylor: Still up to go shopping? I wanna hit that amazing store you found!
At least that part hadn’t been an exaggeration. I had made a friend here. Saylor had been awesome last night. She’d artfully steered Mal away the one time he almost brought up Hunter on the ride home.
Me: Sure. Just name a time. I’m easy.
Saylor: Great! I’ll pick you up in an hour!
My earlier angst forgotten, I dug into my breakfast with a flourish. I had some retail therapy to look forward to.
A little over an hour later, we were whipping down the road in a sexy black Benz. Only Saylor wasn’t driving like I’d assumed she would be. A large guy she’d introduced as Lucas sat behind the wheel as we chilled in the back seat.
Apparently my surprise had given me away when we crawled into the backseat because Saylor laughed.
“Yeah, Mal’s been a little OTT since the whole LAX thing.” She waved a hand as she referred to the crazy headline making moment when her ex had held her captive at the airport before he’d been shot by responding officers.
My eyes were even wider as I nodded in reply. But I didn’t probe. I knew better than most that there were parts of your life you didn’t want people—strangers especially—poking around.
Instead, I turned to Lucas. “We’re going to Taylor Fashion Boutique on North Broadway. I don’t remember the exact address. I took an Uber yesterday. Do you need me to look it up on my phone?”
“No, I’ve got it, miss.” Lucas’ voice was a smooth, deep baritone.
I was sure in a different circumstance I would’ve blinked twice at it and all his masculine assertiveness. But given the turmoil of everything, I was happy to sit back, buckle my seat belt, and just enjoy having someone else take care of it all.
I had plenty of drama in my life. Swooning over a sexy driver/security guard didn’t even hit my top ten.
“So spill.” Saylor grinned at me.
I blinked a few times. “About what?”
“About Hunter. It looked like you two were getting cozy in the box. What happened while we were gone?”
“Oh, you know…” I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “We had dinner. Ryker came by to talk. Then we moved things around so we both could face the stage. And, um. Yeah. It was fun,” I finished lamely.
Saylor sighed heavily. “Right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.
I’m just so excited to have someone in with the band who’s a regular girl.
I tried to bond with Phoebe but she…” She pulled a face as she realized she was about to talk shit about my sorta kinda-step-mom.
“I get along with Leif’s assistant. Zanna is great. ”
“Oh, don’t feel like you have to censor your feelings about Phoebe. Between you and me, I call her the step-monster in my head…and with friends.”
Saylor grinned. “Bet. I can’t even imagine having to live with Phoebe. One time we had to wait over fifty minutes for her. We were all meeting at Beau’s to go to this award show together, and she kept us waiting for forever. The guys missed the red carpet and almost missed their spot in the show.”
“Wow.” I mean, I could see it. What was surprising was that they all stayed. Especially Leif.
“Yeah. Never doing that again.”
“She’s really not that keen on me being here. I mean, I’m not eager for a replacement, you know. My mom will always be my mom. I just never thought I’d have to compete with my step-mom for even a minute of his time.”
“It’s ridiculous that it’s even a competition.”
“And what’s so frustrating is that Beau doesn’t see it. He just keeps making promises and letting her undo them all.” I sighed in frustration. “I’m almost ready to call it and just head back to Washington.”
“Well, I, for one, am glad that you’re here.” Saylor smiled at me. “My bestie is still in Vegas, and I see her every few weeks, but it’s not the same. I want to build a life here in LA with Mal—hopefully one with amazing, non-back-stabbing friends.”
“I would never!”
“Good. And same.”
We traded smiles, and for the first time since I’d come to LA, I felt like I had an ally. Someone in my corner who would look out for me. Maybe that was na?ve of me, but I had a good feeling about Saylor. “So, tell me about LA and the guys. What’s life like here?”
Saylor filled me in on her life with Mal, her internship with Russo Designs, and the band’s struggle since Gio passed away.
“I hope they figure things out. I really thought they’d found their missing link when they brought on Hunter—Mal had been so excited—but apparently, it’s not going well.”
“It’s really not. Leif is constantly harping on Hunter for every little thing—he’s offbeat, he’s too slow in the count off, he’s holding his drumsticks wrong.” I bugged my eyes out at her.
“He did not say that last one!”
“He did. I swear.” I raised my hand. “It was insane. Hunter almost threw them at him. What is his damage?”
Saylor shook her head. “I heard he wanted to go solo after they finished their last tour, but then Gio died… Maybe he’s wishing he’d actually gone through with it.”
“That sucks for the guys.”
Especially Hunter.