Chapter 29
Still Hunter
The next few days were a blur of hospital bullshit, media insanity, and pain for my girl. I hated every minute of it. I just wanted her safe at home where I could keep an eye on her.
Not that my home was safe anymore.
Once the news leaked of Iz’s real identity and my tie to her, my apartment complex became a zoo.
So we were currently ‘couch surfing’ at Mal’s place. Beau had offered to put us up at his hotel, but security at Mal’s was guaranteed to keep assholes out. Ryker had offered too, but I was still salty about his loose lips.
My mom had reached out a few times since we’d made national news with my announcement and the—it felt weird to call it an accident since it was on purpose—so attempted murder?
That was what the police finally charged her with—attempted murder and felony battery.
They were pretty sure she’d cop a plea and they’d drop the top charge. But she’d definitely serve some time.
But back to Ma.
I didn’t know what the hell to say to her since our last call. And none of her messages had even referenced it—they were all concerned about my girl and if we needed anything.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked Iz as we sat on Mal’s couch. He was at an NA meeting, but Saylor was in the kitchen behind us, cooking dinner.
“I know a little something about making boundaries with toxic parents,” Saylor called from the kitchen.
Where she was apparently also eavesdropping.
But I’d take any and all advice. “Then get your ass in here!”
She laughed, and a moment later, she was walking around the end of the couch, drying her hands on a dish towel. “So, what do you want to know?”
“I don’t know. I love my mom—she’s great.
The issue is her relationship with my dad.
He’s an ugly drunk, the reason she’s paralyzed, by the way, and she’ll never divorce him because her religion won’t let her.
We had an argument about it last time we talked.
She told me her ethos, and I told her how he’s never changed, so I don’t want him in my life, and she said she’d think about it.
And now she’s calling me all concerned but making no mention about our last convo. ”
“Wait, he’s the reason she’s paralyzed?” Saylor sank down on the end of the couch. “That’s so awful.”
Iz gave me a sad smile.
“Yup.” I moved my shoulders uncomfortably. “He was also an abusive asshole to me and my brother growing up. Or at least he was until we got big enough to fight back.”
Iz blinked a few times, clearly fighting tears. “I think you should tell my dad that last part. So he gets why you didn’t fight back at the party.”
“I didn’t fight back because I deserved it. I broke an unwritten rule.”
Iz cocked her head. “You don’t think your traumatic childhood also had a little something to do with it, too? Really?”
“I don’t know. I never really thought about it like that.” And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. I didn’t like the thought of it screwing me up that much. Of being a victim.
Saylor gave me an encouraging look. “At the very least, I think you should talk to a professional about it. Al-Anon might be a good place to start if you’re not comfortable with seeing a therapist yet.”
“I don’t know…”
Saylor nodded. “And that’s totally fine too.
I think what’s most important is to be clear about your boundaries with your parent and be upfront about what the consequences are when they’re breached.
And also to know that it’s never a one and done thing if you do go no contact.
Slips happen because it’s ultimately difficult to cut someone out who you’ve loved your whole life. ”
“Are you no contact with your parent?” I asked quietly.
“My mom, and yes. I told her she needed to go to therapy and work on herself and then we could see a councilor to help us work on our relationship. But she managed to find one who agrees with her and thinks her gaslighting is warranted. It’s insane, honestly.”
“I’m so sorry.” Iz leaned forward despite her leg brace and grasped Saylor’s hand. Tears pooled in her eyes.
It made me love her so much more. My girl was fucking amazing.
Which was why it was so frustrating I hadn’t convinced her to marry me already.
Saylor gave Iz an equally wet smile. “It helps that Mal’s mom is amazing. She’s my best friend here in LA.”
“Hey!” Iz protested.
Saylor rolled her eyes. “You realize I can have more than one friend, right?”
“Fine. Just as long as you know that I don’t rank my friends. They’re all my best friends because they’re awesome.” Iz sighed. “That’s why they’re my best friends.”
Saylor laughed. “You’re kind of ridiculous.”
“Part of it is the painkillers. But just a tiny part.” I held up two fingers in a pinching motion. “
Iz elbowed me.
“Oof.” I grabbed my stomach. “The rest is a hugely lovable part of you!”
“Whatever.” Iz huffed.
“Wait. Does this mean you’re not going to marry me now?”
“Oh my god!” She groaned, covering her face with her hands. “You’re ridiculous. Can we go five minutes without you proposing to me? Please?”
“Technically it’s been ten minutes,” Saylor pointed out.
I smiled charmingly. “And they’ll stop altogether the minute you agree.”
She nailed me in the head with a throw pillow in response.
* * *
Later that day, after some more thought and input from Iz, I called my mom.
“Hunter!” she answered. “How are you doing? How is Isabella? I’ve been so worried about both of you.”
“We’re okay. She has a few broken ribs and a torn ligament in her leg. But fortunately, she doesn’t need surgery, so that’s good.”
“And you? How are you doing? Because I just know this whole thing is tearing you up. Has Isabella managed to make you realize it’s not your fault?”
Christ, it was almost like I could feel her arms around me through the telephone.
No one got me like my mom.
Which was why this was so painful.
I gave a husky laugh. “Honestly, no. I’m still pretty screwed up about it all. But for me, this never would’ve happened. It’s impossible not to feel responsible to some degree.”
“You listen to me, boy-o. It’s not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of someone else. You have to give yourself some grace. You clearly woke up about that awful Cheyenne person. She’s your ex for a reason, right?”
“Right. I mean she’d never done something like this before. But I definitely woke up to her asshole tendencies. She tried to hook up with one of my new bandmates at a party last month. In front of me.”
Ma tsked. “So trashy. I’m glad you’re clear of her. And try to take some solace in the fact that you saw her for who she really is and ejected her from your life. That’s something to be proud of.”
I didn’t agree a hundred percent, but I loved the fact she was trying to make me feel better about it all. “Thanks, Ma.”
“And on that note, I’ve left your father.”
That wasn’t at all what I’d expected her to say. I’d been prepared to lay down my boundaries and consequences with her.
“I…don’t know what to say,” I finally mumbled.
“I never thought about what me staying with your father said to you about your childhood. Because you’re right—he hasn’t changed. He’s never going to change.
“And I thought I’d come to terms about the accident, but I think I really just buried it all because I’d been in survival mode for so long. I justified what he did, and that makes me ashamed of myself. I had a part in your toxic childhood, and that knowledge haunts me. I’m so sorry, Hunter.”
“I…thank you, Ma. You don’t know how much that means to me.” I had to clear my throat a few times before I could go on. “Do you need somewhere to stay? I’m kinda couch surfing at a buddy’s because of the media insanity, but I could—”
“No, I’m fine. I left your father in the house, and I’m at Aunt Tamara’s for the time being.
I don’t know if we’ll go through the official divorce process yet.
But I can’t stay with him knowing how much it has hurt you and Cory.
Who I talked to yesterday by the way. He wanted your phone number.
He’s doing well in Colorado. He’s seeing a girl he met at the tattoo parlor he’s working at.
I guess she has a little boy. Anyhow, he’s going to try to make it out here in a few weeks and help me find a place of my own. ”
“I could help you with that, Ma.”
“You have enough on your hands with the new band, the media, and your poor, injured girlfriend. But I wouldn’t mind meeting her one day soon.”
I laughed out loud. “How do you feel about quickie weddings in Vegas? Do they go against the church?”
“Hunter Stone Adkins! Are you telling me you’re engaged to a woman I’ve never even met!” Mom shrieked.
I winced at the decibel as well as the reminder of my middle name. “No, at least not yet. It’s taking me a minute to convince her to say yes. She’s holding out until we ‘know each other better.’ I don’t think she wants to walk down the aisle wearing a leg brace.”
Mom laughed. “Well, it sounds like you found someone who will love you for you, and I absolutely love that. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Once all this craziness dies down, we’ll sort something out. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, Ma. I know it wasn’t easy to leave him, but I really think you’ll be so much happier now.”
“I’m just sorry it took me so long to wake up to the truth.” She gave a muffled sob.
A pang hit me in the chest—both because she was hurting, but also because I couldn’t really trust that this would take. It was hard to believe that after almost forty years of marriage she’d actually leave him.
I really hoped she could, though. She deserved to be happy.
We exchanged a few more pleasantries before hanging up with a promise to meet in person soon.
“How’d it go?” Iz asked from the doorway, leaning on her crutches.
I jumped up and went to help her but froze at her glare. Shrugging, I returned to the sofa and watched as she made her way into the room. “Better than I thought. She left him. I guess the combination of our last conversation and this situation with me and you made her wake up.”
Holding her crutches in one hand, she limped gingerly through the gamut of furniture until she could stop next to me. Then she collapsed onto the sofa with a groan. “What did our relationship have to do with it?”
“Not us, exactly.” I picked up her braced leg and swiveled her until she could rest it in my lap.
“I guess she thought that the fact that I woke up to Cheyenne and her evil ways before she went psycho was noteworthy or something. She wished she’d been as strong.
I don’t know. I don’t really see the parallel. ”
“All that matters is that she realized she needed to leave him. But hopefully it goes some way to help you forgive yourself. Because the only one who’s blaming you for this—” She nodded at her leg brace. “Is you.”
I sighed. “I guess I’d believe that if you agreed to marry me.”
“Hunter!” She laughed and shook her head. “You’re insane.”
“I’m crazy for you, princess. I thought I proved that.”