Chapter 23
Beads of sweat rolled down my overheated skin. The dark blue tunic I wore clung to my body, and waves had fallen from my braid, clinging to my face. The dust from the sparring arena coated me with each move I made. But I didn’t stop.
Shoulder. Step. Rotate. Punch.
Shoulder. Step. Rotate. Punch.
I was shy at first, a little embarrassed, but I was determined to get it right.
Darragh drilled me with instructions on striking form so I could develop what he called “muscle memory.” When I needed to throw a punch, my body would automatically know what to do as second nature. We had been at it for an hour, and I had yet to hit anything, punching at the air.
“Good, Rory!” Darragh praised. “You learn quickly! I wish all my new guardsmen would pick up training this fast.”
“You are just saying that,” I huffed out. I placed my hands on my knees, gulping for air.
“I’m not,” he protested, handing me a waterskin.
“Most of the time, recruits are sent to me thinking they know how to properly fight, but they are nothing more than bad form and bad habits, causing them to get laid out on their backs. I don’t have to break any bad habits with you.
Also, you take direction. The young guards coming in are either scared of me or refuse to listen to me.
Either way, you are doing better than most, and it is because you have more to lose. ”
My heart clenched when he spoke so nonchalantly about the way seraphs perceived him. “Does it bother you?” I took a large swig of water.
“Does what bother me?”
My voice softened. “The way everyone thinks you are some untrustworthy brute to be feared. How neither angheal nor daemonite will claim you as one of their own?”
He gave me a doleful smile. “I haven’t known anything else. It doesn’t help that I am often the one who is sent to bring people in for atonements.” He shrugged, but I could see through the wall of indifference he was hiding behind.
I stepped in front of him. “You didn’t answer my question.”
His shoulders slumped, and he sighed. “It would bother anyone.”
I took a step closer to him but fought the urge to reach out and touch him. “Why do you stay? Why not choose a different path? Move away and start over?”
His eyes darkened, but he smoothed his expression and shrugged. “I have lived here since I was thirteen.”
A barrage of emotions flitted across my face, and Darragh searched each one as they passed.
“Rory, it’s alright. I take solace knowing that not everyone despises me.
Most of my guards have warmed to my presence, though they all still have a bit of fear in them regarding my lineage.
I have some friends in the kingdom, but I don’t get to see them often. ”
“Like Ros?”
“Yes.”
Before I could help myself, I blurted out, “Is she your…”
Shut up, Rory!
He tilted his head. “My what?”
“Lover?” I said with immediate regret. A flush painted across my cheeks. “I’m sorry. That was not my place to ask.”
Darragh blinked once, twice, and let loose a thunderous laugh. A laugh that broke the tension from my horrifying question. “Ros? Oh, no, no! By the pits of the underworld, no!”
Relief flooded me, but I hid any signs of it. At least, I hoped I did.
Darragh continued, “I met Ros ten years ago when I had to pull some asshole off her as he was punching her in the face outside a tavern. She was holding her own surprisingly well for such a little thing, but that seraph was twice her size, and I knew if I didn’t intervene, she would either be killed or thrown in a cell for killing him.
She has a nasty enchant that allows her to make cuts deep and fast, even through dense surfaces.
Great for seamstress work, bad for staying out of trouble. ”
Fiery and fierce as I suspected she was. I smiled. “I knew I liked her.”
“We have been friends ever since.” His mouth tilted up on one side. “I didn’t get a choice. She bullied me into friendship.”
“I wish I had her power and strength.”
His smile vanished. “You are stronger than you know.” Darragh looked at me with such regard that I believed him.
I had to. His belief in me helped me to believe in myself.
He picked up a sandbag with one arm like it weighed nothing.
“Let’s move on to tossing someone off of you since you have the basics of throwing a punch. ”
We spent the next hour going through drills on how to throw someone off me while I was on my back. He showed me how by tossing the bag of sand, made to look and weigh just as much as an average man, and then had me do the same.
“You’re sure you are comfortable if we do it this way?
” he asked for what felt like the hundredth time.
After I threw him a look that could sharpen a blade, he huffed out a laugh and stepped back from me with his hands up in surrender.
“Alright, alright. I don’t want to be on the receiving end of your fist. Just know that you can tell me when anything becomes too much.
Especially after what happened yesterday. ” His soft eyes pointedly met mine.
I gave him a quick nod and went back to practicing drills.
I was determined and tired of feeling helpless.
Yesterday’s attack was the moment I knew I needed to take control.
That fire I felt simmering just beneath my skin has been begging to roar to a destructive blaze for such a long time, and I let that feeling drive me.
Plant feet. Buck hips. Wrap arms around chest. Elbow to arm. Twist and roll. Over and over again.
This was far harder with so many more steps than throwing a punch, but I listened intently, adjusting my body and moves with verbal guidance from Darragh. He took painstaking care not to touch me.
When I had successfully thrown the bag off me several times to Darragh’s liking, he smiled widely. “I think that’s enough for the day. You must be tired and probably need to ready for dinner soon.”
“What? No! I am just starting to get the hang of it,” I said genuinely. “I thought I would get to test my new skills before leaving.”
He paused and searched my face. “Alright. One chance to test out what you learned, and then we are done. I don’t want you to be too tired and sore tomorrow. You won’t be able to train again anytime soon if you’re hurting too badly. Ask Anya to heal anything that may be a bother.”
I drank some water and nodded. “Deal.”
“Now, step up to the sandbag. Remember what I taught you about your positioning and try to punch at something behind the bag, not at the bag. Rotate your hips and core. That is your power source. Sometimes when I spar, I like to picture someone who is pissing me off to land punches extra hard.”
“Got it.” I lined myself up to the bag and stared at it.
Terren’s arrogant prick of a face started to appear at the top.
My eyes turned cold, and I flared my nostrils.
Shoulder. Step. Rotate. Punch. THUD. The blow landed hard.
The vibration of it shot up my arm and into my shoulder, stunning me for a moment.
Darragh’s eyebrows rose. “Well done!” He clapped. “I don’t know who you pictured, but that looked like it would’ve at least broken a nose!”
I swelled with pride and beamed at him, giddy that I accomplished such a solid hit.
“On that note, go get a hard-earned bath and some dinner!”
My face dropped. “Wait, I have to try the body toss.”
Darragh opened his mouth but then closed it, a moment passing before shaking his head. “Rory, your attack just happened yesterday.”
I searched his expression. “I don’t understand.”
“To do the throw, you will need someone to get on top of you, mimicking an attack. Maybe another day when I can get Ros to help.”
Oh. It didn’t occur to me that the next step would require him to be on top of me. I took a hesitant step toward him. “I understand your apprehension, but I need to do this.”
He shook his head.
“Please.”
Darragh closed his eyes and blew out a slow breath. “Alright. But if I see even a flit of fear cross your face, I stop, and we are done for the day.”
“Understood.”
“Lay down, then,” he gently directed and swept his hand toward the ground.
The dirt of the arena floor was soft underneath me as I settled on my back and adjusted my body.
The motion sent up a cloud of dust from the soft ground, drying my eyes.
Darragh slowly lowered himself next to me.
Positioning himself at my waist, his voice lowered.
“I have to straddle your hips and grab your arms. Are you sure this is alright?”
“I’m not changing my mind.” He loosened one more breath and straddled himself on top of my hips, searching my face. I reassured him with a smile. “I’m fine. I promise.”
His weight pinned me down, and the muscles of his thighs tightened around me.
His hands trembled as he grasped each of my wrists with large, calloused palms, sinking his chest and face toward mine.
Our eyes locked, the chestnut brown glowed with a warmth and kindness that nobody bothered to see in him, and he seemed to be able to access the deepest parts of me just by searching my face.
The invisible pull thrummed. A connection weaving together.
Everything he spent the last hour teaching me had fallen out of my head. I couldn’t think with the growing warmth building between my thighs. His gaze fell to my lips, and his nostrils flared. We both drew in a breath.
Darragh loosened his grip on one of my wrists and ran his fingertips the length of my arm, up my neck, and cupped my jaw.
My skin tingled under his touch, and my back arched, wanting more of what he was offering.
He ran a gentle thumb over my parted lips and lowered himself further toward me.
His eyes held both warmth and agony. “Rory,” he whispered.
It was a plea. A hunger. Not only for my flesh but for the most tender parts of me that I kept shrouded and buried.
I would let him consume both my body and my vulnerability—I wanted him to.
My hand slid up his chest and rested where his heart raced against my palm. I nodded, and my eyes fluttered closed.
A door slammed open with force. Blinding light and heat surged toward us.
Fire. So much fire was about to wash over us.
Darragh dropped his body fully on mine, arms wrapped around me tightly.
I buried my face into his neck. “I’ve got you,” he muttered against my temple.
I braced for searing pain, but it never came.
The mass of intense heat was suffocating.
Sweat poured from both of us. My eyes flicked past Darragh to the shimmering iridescent dome around us, the fire held mere inches away from our bodies.
As suddenly as the fire came, it dissipated into the air, the smoke from it thick and choking, the shimmering dome protecting us gone with it.
“You’re dead!” a voice roared.
A hard kick landed on Darragh's ribs, rolling him off me.
Before I could process what just happened, hands grabbed my wrists and yanked me upward into a solid chest, arms locked around me.
I pushed away on instinct, my trembling body doing everything I could to rid myself of the aggression touching me.
“Shh, shh. It’s alright, Rory. It’s alright. You’re safe now.” Gabriel pulled my head into his chest and turned me around, distancing me from Darragh. “Stay right here, and close your eyes,” he growled, pulling his sword from its sheath. “I finally have a reason to dispose of this abomination.”
Darragh was on his feet in a flash, the same darkness he exuded during his fight in the forest etched across his face. Veins bulged in his neck. I was more scared for Gabriel’s safety than Darragh’s.
I jumped in between them, splaying my arms out. A palm rested on each of their chests.
“No! Gabriel! Stop!” I yelled.
Gabriel’s eyes widened. “What? Rory, he was hurting you!”
“No.” I tried to say as calmly as possible. One of the three of us had to remain level-headed. “He was… training me. I asked him to.”
Gabriel still shook, and his eyes burned. I turned to Darragh, who was locked in on Gabriel. His heart still raced beneath my palm.
“Please listen. I am unharmed,” I pleaded, as much to Darragh as it was to Gabriel.
My arms dropped, and I turned to fully face Gabriel. “I was attacked…” I started, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what happened. “…in the city. Darragh saved me.”
My admission hit its mark and grabbed Gabriel’s attention. “What? By whom?” Gabriel slowly lowered his sword, and the tense lines softened on his face.
I peered over my shoulder at Darragh, who swallowed, and I turned back to Gabriel.
“Some seraph tried to rob me in an alley. I was such a stupid woman and didn’t listen when Darragh told me to keep to the shop we were in.
A vendor outside interested me, and I slipped past Darragh to go look, only for a moment.
That’s when someone grabbed me and pinned me to the ground in an alley. ”
Gabriel’s posture slackened.
“Darragh came around the corner and rescued me,” I continued, hoping to keep him at ease. “I begged Darragh to teach me how to throw a punch and toss a man off me. I was trying to learn how to protect myself…when you aren’t around, of course.”
Gabriel tugged me into a hug, and I stiffened at his invasive touch. “I’m glad you’re safe. You are so important, do you know that?”
Darragh stormed out of the sparring room, and as he left, my heart sank.
I barely heard Gabriel talking as he led me down a hallway, hand placed on my lower back as always.
He said something about missing me, bringing seraphs to justice, and the mention of getting to know each other more.
What Gabriel had just put me through, what he did to Darragh, didn’t allow for his garbled and hollow words to resonate in me anything other than anger.
I couldn’t keep my mask of nobility in place when Gabriel seemed intent on trying to rip it from my face.
What lay beyond my mask was defiance and a voice he likely had never taken the time to listen to before.
A woman’s voice. One in which wasn’t filled with fawning words but with gnashing teeth.
I was eager to give him a verbal lashing, but I would have to hold fast to my mask and affix it back in place.
However tattered and torn it may now be.