Chapter 30
Ellie
Ilove spring break.
After a week spent sunbathing, reading, and flirting with college boys way too old for us, Abby and I lounge contentedly in the back of her dad’s Chevy Tahoe on the long drive back to Larkspur.
Abby is laser-focused on her bajillionth college application essay, while I hum along to the song in my headphones, watching Louisiana fly by.
Spring break has sent my excitement for college skyrocketing.
Not that I plan on going to college in Florida, but the whole concept of a cliché spring break has me grinning ear to ear every time I think about it.
I’ve decided to stay in Texas for college–I got my acceptance letter to UT Austin about a month ago, and up until now I’ve honestly been avoiding it.
All I’ve ever wanted to do is leave Larkspur and see the world, but suddenly even moving five hours south to the state capital makes me feel panicky. How do you leave everything (and everyone) you’ve known for eighteen years, just like that?
Well, you’ve got about five months to figure it out.
Just as we cross the state line into Texas, my phone buzzes.
Jack: When do you get home?
Ellie: Miss me that much huh?
Jack: No.
Jack: Wait yes
Jack: But I need to talk to you.
Jack: Can you hang out tonight?
That’s weird.
Ellie: We won’t be home til like 10 pm
Ellie: I can hang out tomorrow though?
Jack: That’s fine. Can I pick you up for breakfast?
Since when do we do breakfast?
Ellie: Is something wrong? Are you okay?
Jack: Yeah, I’m fine, I just need to talk to you
Ellie: Okay Jack Robbit ;)
Ellie: You can pick me up at 9 - NO EARLIER
Jack: Nevermind, I don’t want to see you anymore.
Ellie: :(
Jack: And tell Abby to quit telling people to call me that. It’s stupid.
Jack: I’ll see you in the morning.
“Jack doesn’t like your nickname,” I say to Abby with a laugh.
A diabolical smile stretches across her face.
“He doesn’t like my nickname yet,” she says.
Shaking my head as she cackles maniacally, I pop my headphones back in, staring right back out the window, wondering what on earth has Jack acting so weird.
***
When Jack picks me up, I can barely get ‘good morning’ out before he hurriedly gives me a side hug and shoves me out the front door. I try to make conversation on the way to the diner, but he gives one-word answers, white knuckling the wheel like he’s worried it might fall off.
“I’ve never seen this place before 6pm,” I muse, sliding into a booth and picking up a menu.
He barely grunts in reply, and when I feel him staring at me, I lay the menu back down on the table, folding my hands together as I look at him.
“Can I help you?”
“Griffin and Katie broke up.”
My jaw drops. That’s the last thing I expected him to say.
“Did she say why?”
“No, he broke up with her.”
The rest of the diner drops away, and all I can hear is my own heartbeat thrumming in my ears.
Don’t freak out.
“Oh,” I say, fighting to keep my face neutral. “Did he say why?”
The waitress brings a pot of coffee, and I pour myself a mug, willing my hands to stop shaking. Bringing the cup to my lips, I look at him, eyebrows raised as I wait for his answer.
He still doesn’t say anything as I set my cup down, and re-fold my hands on the table.
“Jack?”
“Don’t be stupid, Ellie. You know why.”
I suck in a sharp breath, my stomach somersaulting.
Dont. Freak. Out.
“If they got in a fight because she felt like we were mean to her, we can apologize,” I say cautiously. “I didn’t mean to make her feel–”
“You know damn well that isn’t why, and I need you to listen to me very carefully right now.”
Taken aback, I mime zipping my lips, sitting back and crossing my arms over my chest.
Clearing his throat, he starts, “Griffin has always been my boy. And now, you’re my girl.”
Arching my brow at him, he stammers out, “Not like that, like, my sister-girl or whatever.”
“Sister Girl is what Abby calls the kid she nannies.”
“Can you be serious please?” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he continues, “I love you both. And you love each other. Don’t try to deny it,” he says sharply, cutting me off when I open my mouth to protest.
“You love each other. This has been brewing since freshman year, and you’ve never gotten it right. Both of you have done some pretty messed up things to each other.”
I nod silently, concentrating on where my mug sits on the table to avoid looking at him.
“He broke up with Katie because she’s not you. We all know it,” he says softly. “But he’s scared to death that you’re going to shut him down again.”
“I don’t want to shut him down, Jack,” I say quickly, my eyes snapping up to his. “I didn’t even mean to shut him down the first time. You know that. You know exactly what I want.”
“Yes, I do,” he says, nodding. He reaches across the table and gives my arm a gentle squeeze. “And I think if you want this to work out, this is the right time.”
I sip my coffee, trying to hide the smile blooming from the inside out. I know I’ve done an awful job when I look back up and he’s grinning at me.
“You’ve gotta tell him this time, Ellie Bellie.”
“Hey, only my parents and Abby can call me that.”
“Yeah? Well absolutely no one can call me ‘Jack Robbit’, but here we are.”
“You really think this can work out, Jack?”
He nods slowly, seriously.
“I really do. But I think it might be now or never. Don’t make him wait for you longer than he already has.”
“He wasn’t waiting for me, he was dating someone else!”
“Yeah, and you also dated someone else. And then you said he was just a distraction. And before that, he made a dumb bet with his idiot friends. Doesn’t mean he hasn’t been hoping and waiting for you the whole time.”
My heart is racing, the butterflies in my stomach threatening to burst through my chest, my thoughts spinning as I allow myself to hope that the stars might finally be aligning for me and Griffin.
“Okay,” I say, unable to contain the giggles bubbling up inside my chest. “Okay. I’ll figure out a way to tell him how I feel and that I want this, that I want a real shot with him.”
“Good,” he says, a satisfied smirk on his face. “Can we eat now? I’ve been up since six and I’m starving.”
“Why on earth did you get up at six?”
“I get up at six every day, Ellie, it’s called discipline.”
Rolling my eyes, we put in our order with the waitress and spend the rest of the morning catching up on our spring break stories. I laugh loudly when my stories of Abby obviously stress him out, and I give him a hard time about how many hours of Jeopardy he watched with his granny.
When he drops me off at home, he gets out of his Jeep and pulls me into a big bear hug.
“Go get your man, Ellie Turner,” he says, playfully punching my shoulder. “Let yourselves be happy.”
Waving goodbye as he drives away, I turn and bolt straight to my room to call Abby with the news. We spend several hours concocting some sort of grand-gesture, declaration of love that I’m sure will go out the window the second I see him.
Maybe this is our 90s rom-com ending moment. We’ll kiss in the rain and live happily ever after, and everything will work out.
One thing’s for sure–I love Griffin Hart with all my might. And I’ll be damned if I miss the chance to tell him again.
***
By the time Thursday rolls around, I’m convinced the universe hates me. When I wanted to avoid Griffin, he seemed to be everywhere. Now that I actually want to talk to him, I haven’t been able to find him in the hallways once.
Is he avoiding me?
Maybe Jack was wrong. Maybe breaking up with Katie had absolutely nothing to do with me, and just because he’s single now doesn’t mean he wants me.
Chewing on my lower lip, I stare at the series of texts Jack sent me a few minutes ago.
Jack: Have you talked to Griffin yet?
Jack: Given that he’s still walking around like a kicked puppy, I’m assuming you haven’t
Jack: What the hell are you waiting for?
Jack: ????
I wanted to avoid any “we need to talk” preamble, and I really didn’t want to start anything over text, but I’m resigned to the fact that my current method of passively hoping I run into him at school isn’t working.
Ellie: Hi.
Dumb. Boring. I wouldn’t reply to me.
Griffin: Howdy there
Exhaling a shaky breath, I send the scariest text I’ve ever sent. (Scary for me, not for him, obviously.)
Ellie: Can I see you sometime soon?
Griffin: You’ll see me tomorrow won’t you?
Ellie: I meant like, just us
Griffin: Just you and me?
Ellie: Yeah
Ellie: If you want
Ellie: We don’t have to
Ellie: I just maybe wanted to talk to you about something
Griffin: Everything okay?
Ellie: Yeah no totally! Just some stuff on my mind that I can’t really talk to Jack or David about
Ellie: Nothing ominous
Griffin: That’s what someone with ominous news would say
Shit. I’m blowing this. This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this over text. Except there’s a ninety nine point nine percent chance that I’ll also be this much of a bumbling mess in person. Probably worse.
Ellie: Sorry, this is way more dramatic than I wanted it to be
Ellie: Let me start over
Ellie: Hi Griffin, can we hang out sometime soon, maybe just the two of us?
Griffin: Hi Eleanor. I’d like that. When?
Ellie: Maybe tomorrow before the guys come over?
Griffin: Don’t you have dinner with Abby?
Ellie: No, we cancelled this week
I’m going to have to tell Abby that ASAP.
Griffin: Okay, that works for me
Griffin: Want to come over here?
Pondering it for a minute, I decide that I’d rather have this talk on more neutral ground, so I can run away with my tail between my legs if necessary. We decide on meeting at the lake for a walk, which is great because it’ll give me a perfectly natural excuse to avoid eye contact.