Chapter 9 #2
“From the look of things, that’s the same question right now,” Abby answered.
“You saw the pictures, I guess,” he said, unable to wipe the smile from his face.
It had always been easier to be himself around Abby and to say what he really thought.
Maybe that was because Abby had struggled for her entire life, the entire time Drew had known her, to be herself and to be accepted for it.
He owed it to her to be as transparent as she’d always been with him.
“I did,” she answered. “You two look amazing together.”
There was a long pause after that, as if Abby was waiting for him to confess something.
He wasn’t going to play along.
“And?” he asked, tossing the ball into Abby’s court.
“And nothing,” she said coyly. “All of the pics that keep popping up with the two of you look like you’re having a great time. Everyone says the two of you are so in love.”
There was no mistaking the question underneath that sly statement.
“We’re not in love,” Drew said, rolling his eyes as he shifted which ear he held his phone to so he could shrug out of his costume.
“Are you sure about that?” Abby teased him.
“Yes!” Drew fired back. It was far too soon to be in love.
That thought wasn’t reassuring at all. It implied there were other things he could feel, things that led to deeper emotions.
He didn’t have time for any of that. He had a career to navigate and a brand to manage.
“Well, if you ask me,” Abby went on, “you two need to make some sort of public statement soon. Everyone is champing at the bit to know what’s going on with you and Lee. I’m one of those people.”
“What I’ve got going on with Lee is nobody’s business but ours,” Drew said, surprised by how fierce he felt about that, even with Abby asking.
“Mmm hmm.”
Abby’s answer sent prickles down Drew’s back.
“Anyhow, I have to go,” Drew went on. “Filming is done for the day, and Lee’s coming over for dinner tonight.”
“Oh, is he?” Abby was absolutely wearing one of her shit-eating grins.
“It’s just dinner,” Drew insisted, laughing. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
Abby laughed, too. “Seriously, though, I’m happy for you. I feel better about leaving you alone knowing you’ve got a friend in your corner over there.”
“I appreciate it,” Drew said.
They ended the call with their usual goodbyes and love yas, and Drew finished changing out of his costume and washing off his make-up. He couldn’t have taken the conversation much further anyhow, since the rest of the cast and several crew members wandered into the dressing room at that point.
He thought over everything Abby and Avery had said on his way back to his apartment, though.
When the whole Rent-A-Boyfriend thing had been hatched, he’d assumed he could just hang out with Lee and be photographed with him a few times and the rumors would take care of the rest of the work. Now, however, he wasn’t so sure.
“Do you think we should make some kind of statement about dating?” he asked Lee as the two of them put together dinner from the bits and pieces Lee had picked up on his way over.
When Lee looked at him with wide eyes, he hurried on to say, “I mean, the work is pretty much done with all the pics that have been posted about us, but just in case.”
“You want to tell people officially that we’re dating?” Lee seemed surprised.
Immediately, Drew second-guessed everything.
He kept forgetting that the whole thing wasn’t just a plot to help his career.
Lee had a life and a reason for spending time with him, too.
He might not feel the same way about everything they’d experienced together.
He might not feel the same way about him.
The thought was suddenly horrifying and overwhelming.
“I’m just worried that maybe the press are on your back,” he blundered through saying as they took their plates to the table, “and making some sort of official statement would get them to back off.”
Lee sat and looked across the small table at him for way too long before saying, “Wouldn’t the press come after me even more if we made any sort of statement about officially dating?”
Drew winced and mentally kicked himself. He had no idea what he was doing, and was fighting tooth and nail to avoid his reasons for doing all of it.
“Never mind, then,” he said, picking up his fork but only picking at his food. He suddenly didn’t have an appetite. “I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“Hey,” Lee said softly, reaching across the table to rest his fingers on Drew’s free hand. “It’s okay. If you think it’s a good idea to tell the world we’re dating, then I trust your judgement.”
The way Lee looked at him made Drew feel like he could see right through him. He could see through the barriers he’d put up to protect himself from things that had always been there that he didn’t really want to think about.
Maybe that was a good thing after all.
“Are you sure you want to deal with the scrutiny we’ll get?” he asked, spearing his pasta and pretending he wasn’t as terrified of everything happening to him as he was.
“I can say this much,” Lee pulled his hand back and started eating. “My book sales have been way up since pics of us started to appear online. And I’ve had a few nibbles from agents, too.”
“That’s great,” Drew said, breaking into a relieved smile. At least Lee would get something out of their whole crazy plan.
They ate the rest of their dinner and talked about anything else other than their pseudo-relationship.
Drew relaxed more as the meal went on. Lee really was easy to talk to, especially since they could talk about his books.
He got so excited about his characters and their adventures.
The way he lit up as he talked about dragons and dragonkeepers, then switched to filling Drew in on the new contemporary ideas he was outlining, sucked Drew in and had him forgetting about the dangerous line he was walking with their fake relationship.
They worked well together as they cleaned up after dinner, then moved to flop on the couch together with the TV on, playing some silly game show that seemed to be super popular in the UK.
Drew didn’t really care about the game show. He just liked being close to Lee.
They’d naturally gravitated together and were sitting with their bodies flush and their arms around each other when Drew finally worked up the courage to say, “Let’s take a quick pic of the two of us like this, then post it online with something that makes it clear we’re together.”
The way Lee’s smile slowly grew and his eyes filled with warmth behind his glasses as he stared at him did things to Drew’s insides that he wasn’t ready for. He’d already committed to the relationship, though, and he didn’t want to back out of it. For Lee’s sake.
And for his.
“Okay,” Lee said, scooting closer to Drew. “Are you going to take the picture?”
“Yeah.” Drew pulled his phone out of his back pocket and held it up selfie-style. He then tugged Lee closer and smooshed his face up against Lee’s. “Say cheese!”
Lee laughed. Drew snapped. It was the perfect moment.
He remained snuggled up against Lee as he studied the pic. The two of them looked so happy together, so free and unencumbered. Drew liked who he was in that picture. He liked who he was with Lee.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked as he opened his favorite social media app and set up the post.
The caption he typed was “Just a quiet evening in with my man.”
Lee audibly drew in a breath. “You know this is going to hit hard out there,” he said, twisting his head so he could look directly into Drew’s eyes.
Drew caught his breath, too. Yes, the subtle admission would hit hard in the fandom and beyond. But nothing could hit as hard as the way Lee’s caring, concerned look slammed into his heart.
There was no going back from this.
“Okay. Let’s go,” he said, putting on a smile that was at least forty percent pretend to mask the existential panic that was welling inside him.
It was just a picture, just a clever plot to make himself into who the world thought he was.
It was for his career, for his future and the futures of his friends who relied on him.
The pretend break-up could come before he left England, and he could continue on with the rest of his life and career with rumors quashed and a clear path forward.
But as he posted everything, he felt like he was shifting the course of everything he thought he knew about himself forever.