9. Cassie
The next few weeks are a blur. I have a few auditions for smaller supporting roles, but no callbacks. I have another today after work, and I’m trying not to lose hope, but it’s hard when I can’t get past the first audition to save my life.
Plus, between working days at the studio, picking up a few shifts each week at the diner, and acting class once a week, I’ve hardly seen Emmett. Alone, that is. Marcy is still off-site and I’m stuck at the studio. I help Ed make sure the principal actors are on set on time, assist Tyler when he needs an extra hand with inventory, and deliver mail to the trailers for Carla.
I stop by Emmett’s trailer sometimes and stay for a few minutes, but in my defense, it’s the only time I’m able to talk to him. When I have a free moment outside of work and acting class, I’m hanging out with Lucy or talking to Annie on the phone. I know I should do less, but I can’t. Keeping myself busy is the only way I’m able to keep my mind off Emmett.
The less I’m able to be alone with him, the more focus I have. My romance scenes are giving me a hard time, but I still have a few weeks to perfect them before the showcase. I just have to practice more than normal. I have to do well at that showcase. If we’re lucky, a few directors and scouts may be in the audience. It”s my chance to prove my talent and show them they can cast me in something worth watching.
It’s not even eight in the morning when my phone buzzes. I’m sitting at the island, drinking a cup of coffee. While scrolling on my phone, Emmett”s name pops up.
Emmett
Think you could stop and get me coffee on your way in? I have a question to ask you.
Not knowing how to respond, I leave him on read. We have been texting a bit, but I can’t think of what he’d want to ask me. Could it be to go out on a date? An actual date? That’s not likely, since the studio forbids us from seeing each other. What else could it be? Do they need someone to be an extra again? Does he want me to read more of his writing?
I should just text and ask, but I thought maybe not knowing would be better than knowing. Who knows if he would even tell me if I asked.
I stand up from the stool and push it under the island. I text Lucy to let her know I’m leaving for the day. We’re planning to eat dinner together when we get home from work later. I walk to the front door and grab my bag off of the rack, slinging it over my shoulder before heading out.
From the apartment to the coffee shop and from the coffee shop to the studio, I cannot silence the thoughts in my mind. Sure, Emmett and I are friends now, I suppose, but I don’t know what he could want to ask me. Also, he’s already been asking me a ton of random questions over text. He’s asked questions like what my favorite color is (blue), how I best like my eggs (scrambled), and which romance movie is my favorite (The Holiday). What could he possibly want to ask me that he couldn’t text? Is it that secretive that he needs to do it in person?
Apparently.
When I reach Emmett”s trailer, it’s as if I step into an alternate version of myself, one who is cautious and on edge, more than I typically am around him. It’s been a few days since our last moment alone in his trailer. I haven”t been to his apartment since we shared a fleeting moment of intimacy. It was in that moment of blurred judgment that I realized I could have kissed him without any hesitation. But right now? I’m doing what I do best, building a 10-foot tall wall around myself to hopefully protect myself from Emmett being, well, Emmett.
He must have been expecting my arrival because the door to his trailer swings open just as I approach the stairs.
“Hi, Sass.” He winks and the 10-foot wall I tried to build up cracks enough that my cheeks get warm. I would blame it on the sun, except it’s awfully cloudy this morning.
“Here’s your coffee.” I shove the coffee cup and a bag that has a bagel in it in his direction.
His smile reaches his eyes. “Thought about me enough to get me breakfast too?”
“Don’t overthink it.” I glare as I move past him into his trailer.
I’ve been here enough times that I could close my eyes and still find my way around. It helps that the trailer is small and there isn’t much to it besides the main sitting room and the kitchen. Even so, it’s familiar.
We spend the next few moments in silence and eat our breakfast. I steal a glance or two, but it’s hard to steal glances when he’s already looking at me.
“What?” I demand. He won’t stop staring.
“I, um…” He’s nervous. He leans forward abruptly and adjusts his position to face me more directly. It”s as if doing that makes him feel more confident. “I want to ask you something.”
Taking a sip of my coffee, I watch him anxiously shifting before I reply. “Go ahead.”
“Right.” He nods and gets up from the couch. “Be right back.”
Emmett moves to the kitchen to set his coffee on the counter and throws his now-empty bag in the trash. He opens the pantry, stares into it for a moment, and shuts it. He opens and shuts drawers in the kitchen. Grumblings follow and a curse under his breath, before finally an “AHA!”
He walks back over toward me, holding an envelope. I tilt my head in confusion.
“Here.” Emmett hands me the envelope. “Open it.”
“Now?”
“Please.” He takes a seat next to me. His presence feels considerably closer than it was a few minutes prior.
I take the envelope from him. The front of it is blank, not addressed to anyone. I flip it over, put my pointer finger under the corner of the flap, and rip it open. I pull out a thick piece of cardstock. It’s black with letters in gold foil that read, “You’re invited to Emmett’s 30th birthday party.” I have to move my hand to my mouth to stop myself from laughing.
“What?” It’s his turn to demand.
I remove my hand from my mouth, thinking I’d be okay except what comes out of me is louder than a small chuckle. I’m full-on laughing. Here I was, worrying Emmett might ask me on a date and I’d have to figure out how to tell him no. Instead, he wants me to go to his birthday party.
“Nothing, I just thought that you were going to ask me something different.”
Emmett just stares at me, his eyes fixed on mine, as if silently urging me to provide more details.
“I thought you were…” I pause. Part of me feels vulnerable by revealing this to him. He will know that I was thinking of him like that, except that I wasn’t. Not really, anyway. “...goingtoaskmeonadate.” My words come out jumbled and quick.
Emmett puts his elbow on the back of the couch, resting his head on his hand. He’s just sitting there, staring at me, and it’s currently having the opposite effect on me than it should. I should be able to withstand Emmett. That’s the reason I built this metaphorical 10-foot wall around my feelings. Instead, I’m internally swooning because all it takes is a slight dip in his head and his gaze on me and I’m melting.
“Cassie, if I was going to ask you on a date, you’d know.” I open my mouth to say something in response, but he beats me to it. “But that’s not happening right now. I simply want you to come to my party on Friday.”
I look back at the card. The party is at the Moonlight Club down the street. It’s known for being the place where all celebrities host events and parties.
“I didn’t know it was your birthday.”
He smirks. “Saturday is my birthday.”
“And you’re, um, turning 30?” I ask.
Emmett points to the card that I’m still holding in my hand. “That’s what they tell me. Tyler, Lane, and Max are hosting.”
I nod and I’m not sure what else to say. I haven’t made enough friends out here to be invited to a birthday party. Whenever it’s mine or Lucy’s birthday, we just stay home, order in some Indian food, and watch a movie. It’s typically uneventful. The opposite of what I can assume Emmett’s party will be.
“So, will you come?” Emmett asks.
I nod again and look up to meet his gaze. How could I miss his party? I’m as close with Emmett most days as I am with Lucy, and I’ve only known him for a few weeks. I don’t know if this is technically allowed or if Marcy will be there, but I’ll worry about that later.
He smiles, anticipating my answer.
I can’t help but roll my eyes, which he must find funny. “I suppose I could cancel the plans I had and attend your party.” My plans included me sitting on the couch, eating snacks, and catching up on one of the latest movies on Netflix. “Do you mind if I bring my friend, Lucy?”
Emmett shakes his head. “Tyler would love it if your friend came.”
I groan and slump into the couch. I turn my head to the left to look at Emmett. “Really?”
“Mhm.” He nods. “You’ll find that I’m always serious, Cass.”
I roll my eyes. Again. “He doesn’t even know her. You don’t even know her,” I retort.
“You forget I met her once already, but, for real, she is more than welcome. I’m sure there will be room in the club for one more person.”
“If you say so, birthday boy.” I smile.
It’s Emmett’s turn to groan and roll his eyes. He gives my shoulder a playful shove, almost spilling my coffee.
“Hey!” I try to sound stern, but I do a terrible job because I just end up laughing.
“Sorry.” He bites his lip. My eyes quickly shift to track his movements, returning to his gaze. For someone I’m trying awfully hard to remain professional with, I’m doing quite the opposite. If someone were to walk into the trailer, they’d see us sitting a little too close to one another. Emmett turned toward me, still leaning on his hand, looking almost longingly into my eyes. I”m still slumped, my face angled toward him, our eyes locked.
I bring my coffee up to my lips and take a small sip. I keep getting stuck in quiet moments like this with Emmett. It’s not awkward or intentional silence, it’s just…comfortable. I try to think of a time when I felt like this and I’m having a hard time remembering when I felt so safe and at home with someone else. I mean, aside from Lucy and Annie, of course. Besides them, I’ve never hung around anyone else long enough to develop a deeper relationship.
Luckily, I love them, but I’m stuck with them for obvious reasons. Emmett is different. I could easily ignore him and choose to treat knowing him as part of the job. But that would mean saying no to a lot of things I want to do. I wouldn’t be able to text him and answer his silly questions about my favorite things. He wouldn’t wink at me in passing, something I’ve come to look forward to. I would have had to say no to his party.
But, I am making the irresponsible choice. I haven’t quite figured out why I’m choosing to let thoughts of Emmett invade my brain when I’m busy trying to land an acting gig. You know, the whole reason I moved to Los Angeles five years ago. I’ve tried for so long. I’m not giving up, but just trying to live my life for once? Letting myself be selfish? I shouldn’t have to give myself reasons to do something outside of improving my acting, yet I need to rationalize it. If I don’t, then it feels like I’m already on the road to forgetting my why.
“I should go,” I say. Neither of us have moved from our spots, but I know if I don’t leave, I’ll make a poor decision and kiss him or something.
“You’re busy tonight?”
I nod a few times in response. “I have an audition. And tomorrow I have acting class.”
“Sounds like we’ll need to make up for a lot of lost time on Friday,” Emmett says with a sly smirk.
His response is different from that of most people I’ve tried to be friends with. I’m normally rather busy with various jobs and acting classes, so I have little time to hang out with someone. It wasn’t something I prioritized. Acting always comes first. It was easier when I started to hang out with people in the industry, but they were always just as busy or they wanted the same jobs I wanted. It was easier to not try for new friends.
I wasn’t even looking for Emmett, he just kind of happened and now look where we are.
I stand up from the couch and walk into the kitchen to throw away the trash from my breakfast. When I turn around, Emmett is standing by the trailer door, waiting for me.
I walk up to him, stopping a few feet away. I look up to meet his gaze.
“What?” I ask, momentarily getting lost in his big, brown eyes.
He shakes his head like he wants to say something, but I won’t push him. It”s possible he wanted to hug me, but I won”t comment on it. The very idea of laying a hand on him fills me with such anticipation that it feels as though my entire being would collapse, succumbing to an overwhelming desire.
It”s not a good idea considering I still have work to do. Also, we are friends. Friends, friends, friends. Maybe if I keep saying it, my brain will eventually process it and instruct my body to stop reacting to Emmett. It’s not helping.
Emmett”s gentle touch lingers on my skin as he leans to the left, making my thoughts scatter. I tense and the heat rises in my cheeks. I will need to be a bit more stern with my “Emmett is only a friend” talk to myself.
Emmett swings the door open, peeking his head out and looking to the left and right before bringing it back inside and glancing toward me.
“You’re clear,” he says.
Right. Our friendship is mostly a secret. I make a mental note to text him later about how I should act at the party, because I don’t know who all will be there. Should I pretend I don’t know him? Has he even thought about this? Why does he even want me there? Okay, I’m overthinking and it’s barely the beginning of the workday. I have all day to spiral. I don’t need to start now.
“I’ll text you later,” I say as I walk out of his trailer and toward the doors that lead into the set.
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I didn’t know Marcy did this much stuff, but I suppose it’s why I’m here to help with most of it. I was helping Ed one moment, Carla the next, and some other random department would need me. It was chaotic and I’m ready to eat Indian food and veg out on the couch.
But first, I have to stop by a casting office for my audition.
After signing in and letting the receptionist know I’ve arrived, I sit in the waiting room until someone calls me in.
My phone buzzes with a text from Emmett wishing me luck. I need it.
“Cassie.”
I look up to see an associate standing by a now-open door to the auditioning room. I smile softly, raising a hand to let them know I’m here, and proceed to gather all of my items.
Once we’re in the room, I stand on the mark and wait for their cue to start. They say “rolling,” and I start performing my scene. A few short lines as the best friend to the main character of the film.
They seem happy enough with the first take that they don’t ask for me to run the lines again. Excitement bubbles up inside me, knowing I gave it my all. So, with a smile, I thank them for their time, sign out, leave, and hope this is the one.
When I get home, Lucy is already there with the island full of containers of food. I could smell the garlic, cumin, and onions down the hallway, and my mouth was watering before I even opened the apartment door.
“I’m home,” I yell into the apartment. I slip off my shoes and hang my bag up on one of the empty hooks to the right of the front door.
“Finally,” Lucy says. She emerges from her room wearing a face mask. It’s all green and literally all over her face. She looks like a beautiful Shrek. Before I have the chance to laugh or say something about it, she holds up a hand. “Don’t you start.”
I hold up both of my hands. “Caught me.” I laugh. “You think I’d be used to seeing your various face masks by now.” For real. She has a different face mask for every night. Sometimes it’s green, like now, other times it’s blue, or white, or it has sparkles. Her skin is flawless though, so instead of keeping track of the various colors, I should probably try one sometime.
“You think, huh? Busy day?” Lucy walks past me and into the kitchen. She takes a piece of naan bread and dips it into a vegetable curry. “This is literally the best food to ever grace this earth.” She moans, taking another bite. She doesn’t even bother to dish out a serving for herself, but it’s a typical dinner for us. The fewer dishes, the better. She holds up the bag full of naan.
“Thank you,” I say, taking a piece and dipping it into the curry. “It was a busy day, yes. I didn’t realize how much Marcy did while she was sending me off to the other side of the set.” If I looked at my watch, I bet I would see that I walked 10k today. “Gosh, you’re right. If someone stranded me on an island, this—” I shake the naan, “is the only food I’d want.”
Lucy’s eyebrows narrow, showing hints of skepticism. “Last week it was Chinese.”
“And next week it’ll likely be pizza.” I smile and shove the rest of the naan into my mouth.
“I’ll make sure to provide a buffet if I ever throw you a surprise party. With how often you change your mind on your favorite food, I’d never be able to predict what your favorite for that week would be.”
“True.” I pick up a samosa and take a bite. “Speaking of parties… are you busy Friday?”
Lucy narrows her eyebrows again. “What’s Friday?”
“Well, Emmett may have asked me to go to his birthday party, and I need you to come with me.”
“What if I have to work?”
“You’d get someone to cover your shift and keep me company, obviously,” I say with confidence.
“Well, lucky you, I do have to work but I am done by eight. I might just have to drive separately, that okay?” Lucy asks while also eating a samosa.
I nod.
“How did the audition go today?” Lucy asks.
“I think it went as well as the others.” I shrug, knowing that none of my auditions have led to anything.
“You’ll land something this year, I can feel it.” Lucy grins.
“Thanks, Luce.”
Changing the subject, I fill her in on what I’ve been up to the last few weeks at the studio. I haven’t worked at the diner a lot, so I haven’t seen her. We’re at the stage in our lives where we’re working opposite shifts and catching each other at the door or in the parking lot. While I’m at the studio or acting class, she’s busy painting or working at the diner.
It’s been nice to have one person to talk to about Emmett. I haven’t told Annie yet, so Lucy is the only one I can vent to about things. I’m trying hard to keep the wall built up, but it’s getting hacked piece by piece. Emmett isn’t even in full flirt mode, either. It’s the small interactions: the little shoulder touches, the random winks, the text messages to tell me good morning. It somehow makes it even more special to hide this relationship, however platonic it might be, from others.
I weighed the pros and cons, and even though it might not be the best decision, I”m still excited about going to the party on Friday. Although, nothing good can come from a dimly lit club where it’ll be tempting to dance with Emmett. What am I getting myself into?