Chapter 25
Another Field Trip
WES
Idrive Callie’s car back to Portland the next day, with Noah following so he can get me back to Lake Savage.
We talk for the two-hour drive from Boston.
Callie asks me about my childhood with Noah and my sisters, and when I talk about Sia and Ivy, she reaches for my hand.
She commiserates when I explain my father was an alcoholic and got into shady shit, and that was the reason our family was murdered.
Callie tells me how her mother died when she was a senior in high school, and losing a parent relatively young was what originally bonded her and Shane.
Neither of us have had it easy in the past, and neither of us will likely have it easy in the future. I know it’s too much to hope that I can find happiness with Callie. Easy happiness is not for someone like me. There’s always going to be a catch, secrets to hide, a messy past to contend with.
When we get to the parking garage, I walk her to the apartment building’s entrance. I’m hoping she invites me in, and I can send Noah away, but she doesn’t.
Callie’s got her arms crossed and gnaws on her lower lip. She looks tired. A good tired, I hope, but maybe the high of our night together is fading and the worry over her current situation is weighing on her again.
“You want to hang out? Or are you going to try to get some rest?” I reach over and touch her arm.
“Rest.” She leans into my hand. “For some reason, I didn’t sleep much last night.”
We were up for most of the night and only fell asleep for about an hour before Noah was banging on the bedroom door to get us moving.
“You okay with everything, Calliope?” I hold her car keys in my palm, not ready to hand them over yet. “What are you thinking?”
She presses her lips together and looks intently at my face, her gaze sweeping from my eyes to my lips and back up again. I give her time to respond. I’m a patient man.
Callie might not know it yet, but she’s mine.
And I’m hers. But even as I think that and know it’s true, I also know it can’t be.
The contradiction feels heavy. Callie wants a different life from what I can offer her.
There’s no changing who I am or what I’ve done or what I will probably do in the future.
And anyway, I can’t let myself fall for anyone. I can’t be a guard dog for Noah and Callie. It’d be too much. I might lose one of them, or both of them, and I can’t handle the thought of that.
“Last night was a lot,” she says, but she bites her lip and has a soft look on her face.
“Last night was amazing.” I move my hand up to cup her cheek. Her eyes flutter shut, and she reaches up and covers my hand with hers. A tingle runs down my spine, and I’m nervous about how much I like the feel of this. “You’re not freaked out?”
I gotta know how she feels the morning after.
“You mean—” she stops talking as a group of people walk by with coffees in their hands, “—in the alleyway?”
“Yeah. That.”
“No. Not freaked out.” Color creeps into her cheeks, and she pulls away from my hand. “I—I think you’re doing the right thing, in your own way. Not like Shane or my father. You’re not like them.”
“Nope. I’m not.” I don’t love getting lumped in with those assholes.
Of course I’m not like Shane or her father.
But the fact that it even crossed her mind isn’t a good thing.
Just another reminder I’m not what she wants, at least long-term.
But for now? Maybe I can be something. I step forward and lift her arms so they’re resting on my shoulders, and I pull her close against me by her waist.
“Wes,” she says my name in a whisper, and tilts that full, sexy mouth up toward me. I lower my mouth to hers and place a long kiss on her lips. I’m not sure I want to hear what she has to say, but I release her mouth eventually.
“Yes, Calliope?”
“I don’t want to live the kind of life I’ve been living.”
“I know. You told me.” Giving voice to it is a dagger to my heart.
“Hmm.” She slides her hands up into my hair, and my eyes half shut at the feel of her fingers on my scalp. Fuck, she feels good. “I don’t know what I can offer you. I’m kind of an empty husk these days.”
That’s not true, but I don’t argue. She’s got so much life in her eyes and passion in her heart. She just doesn’t remember it’s there. I can try to remind her. As long as she’ll let me.
“Let’s take it day by day, okay?” I kiss her gently again. “No pressure. No labels. No worries about the future.”
I can do the worrying all on my own.
“Okay.” Callie pulls my face back down to hers and we kiss long and sweet. But then she steps away, putting a sliver of space between us. I run my thumb over her bottom lip and note her intake of breath.
“Goodbye, Calliope.” I hand her car keys over.
She blinks at me, as if surprised I’m actually letting her go.
“See you,” Callie whispers. Then she turns and slips into the building.
“We can take care of Joe Killer while we’re there.”
Noah’s sitting at my kitchen table drinking hot chocolate while I squat and feed fresh logs to the fire. Sir Fluffy is snoozing on the rug in front of the fireplace. There’s nothing I like better on a cold winter day than a cozy, warm fire.
Except for having a certain gorgeous and spicy brunette zip-tied to a chair in front of it. I like that better.
“We hit a target literally last night. And less than a week before that.” I stand and turn to my brother. He’s jumpy, and his eyes are wide with excitement. He looks sort of crazed. “Way too fast.”
I’m afraid he’s been getting progressively more reckless since his breakup. It might’ve messed him up more than I thought. I think he let himself care too much about her, and now he’s finally realizing women don’t fit into our lives.
I realized that truth a long time ago.
Callie’s a fluke. My brief intermission from the single life.
At least that’s what I should think. She wants a safe and legal life as a librarian and a white picket fence in the suburbs like the picture she showed me, plus probably a dog and a husband who’s an accountant or a high school music teacher.
Not whatever it is I am.
I hate the suburbs. That’s how Noah and I grew up.
Give me the woods anytime, then maybe city as a second option.
But the oppressive suburbs, with the carefully fenced yards and HOAs and neighbors watching everything you do and reporting back to the others, because they have nothing better to do? Hard pass.
Noah groans. “Come on, dude.”
“I won’t agree to anything right now. I want to make sure it’s safe.”
“The quicker we take care of targets, the more people we save. A little risk is worth it.”
See? Reckless.
“Noah.” I sigh. Arguing with him is hopeless, but I have to try. “Let’s slow down. Be careful. Take all the precautions.”
Noah rolls his eyes.
“I get that the quicker we get them off the streets, the better, but still. I don’t want me or you getting off the streets as a result.”
“Fine. Whatever.” My brother shrugs. I’m not sure my speech actually worked, but maybe it delayed things. “Have you found anything online about the New York fight club?”
Noah dropped me at home this morning and then headed back to his place, returning a few hours later so we can talk about the NYC trip. I buried myself in research while he was gone.
“Some comments on message boards that refer to it.” In the kitchen, I uncover the apple pie I baked from frozen and slide a knife in so I can serve each of us a slice.
Sir Fluffy, now awake from his nap, weaves in and out of my ankles, meowing with growing intensity. “You are not getting pie, kitty.”
Sir Fluffy strolls over to Noah and sits on his foot. Noah looks down and shakes his head grimly, then gently pushes the cat off. Sir Fluffy stalks off down the hallway toward my bedroom, probably to go pout. That animal is obsessed with Noah.
I settle at the kitchen table and slide my brother a plate.
“When do you want to go?” Noah’s eyes are already red with allergies, if that’s even possible.
“Soon.”
Usually I’d locate the person, create a schedule of their lives and locations, then provide it to the client before walking away. They’d then proceed however they want without my involvement.
But that’s not how things are gonna work this time.
My phone buzzes, and I flip it over on the table.
Callie
we didn’t find anything out about Shane last night
Right. NYC. She doesn’t know what I got out of the guy with the black eye before I stormed across the room to find her. And it didn’t come up during our car ride this morning.
Me
actually, we did
Callie
really?
Me
yep. Want to take a trip to NYC soon?
Callie
is that where he is??
Me
I think so
Callie
when do we leave?
“Let’s go next weekend.” I look up from my phone. Noah is watching me carefully. “The conversation on the message boards seemed to confirm the Thursday fights. And we have the address.”
Noah nods. “Callie coming?”
“Yes.”
“Is that a good idea? After last night?”
“She’s coming.” He’s not wrong. I expected him to push back. Things were fucked in Boston, but we got what we needed and were all safe in the end. Maybe this time Callie will listen to me and stay out of trouble. I think last night with Jones scared her enough.
And this time, they’ll definitely be expecting us.