5. Zayn
Zayn
By the time I eat breakfast Saturday morning, I have already opened up my messages with Annie ten times, contemplating canceling our plans for tonight.
But then I’d have to think of an excuse, and I’m not creative enough to make something up.
Thinking about the people I will be forced to meet and talk to creates a queasy feeling in my gut and reminds me I’m not prepared.
Could I have texted Annie and asked for help?
Well, sure, that’s her job. But I’m not about to be vulnerable to someone I barely know when I can’t even open up to my own sister.
Picturing tonight, I imagine myself sitting at a table in the back, away from everyone else, and avoiding anyone with a camera.
I don’t plan to dance, or go out of my way to talk to people, or do anything besides attend the event.
The PR firm never stated I had to do anything, just simply show my face. Get in, get out.
This all would have been fine, or at least manageable, but then Annie asked me to attend a party for a friend.
She wouldn’t have pushed me if I said no.
The way she eyed me after every answer lets me know that she’s letting me have this win.
She’s choosing to be her people-pleaser self and give me what I want.
That’s one of the only things I know about her.
That and I’m still painstakingly attracted to her.
Out of the corner of my eye, my phone lights up, causing my focus to shift from my now-empty coffee mug, that I should refill, to the notification on my phone.
Annie
What are you wearing?
Tonight. Not right now. I don’t care what you’re wearing right now, to make that clear.
Can you match me? If so, can you wear a green tie?
dark green
like a forest green, not olive green
I wait a minute to see if any other texts from Annie come in, but they stop. I palm my neck, trying to relieve the knots that have formed as I let out a low sigh. Then, I type a quick message back.
I plan on wearing what normal people wear to galas. Isn’t this information you should already know?
Annie
Hard to know when you haven’t been to an event in months and you wouldn’t let me ask my questions.
Don’t forget forest green
I’ll be there at 4. Don’t keep me waiting.
I’m finding it hard to take a deep breath as nerves overwhelm me.
When I asked Annie to come with me, I didn’t anticipate having to look so…
“couple-y.” I didn’t fucking think. The way she responded to my tone made me want to push her buttons.
That’s the only reason why I invited her.
I thought she would push back harder, give me more of an excuse to let up and agree to be peppered with questions.
The fact that I wanted her to fight back leaves me disoriented.
And to top it off, now I have to meet her friends.
I wonder if they know about me, or about my brother, or if she’s kept those memories locked away.
My mind flashes to when I was momentarily single, when Marissa and I were on our millionth break, and Annie took over my thoughts.
I could never understand how my brother managed to land someone like that, someone as beautiful as her.
Even though my brother and I had a decent relationship at the time, he’s never been the best partner.
He only cares about himself, which is likely how he lost her in the end.
After I plop my dirty dishes in the sink, I head toward the living room to decompress.
There are still a few hours before I need to call the car to go pick up Annie, which leaves me time to call Logan and ask for some pointers for tonight.
If I’m forced to attend this gala, I need to know what I’m getting myself into and what my exit points are.
Luckily, he answers on the first ring.
“Zayn, what’s up?”
“Tell me about this gala tonight. What am I getting myself into?”
Logan sighs on the other end of the line. “Annie didn’t brief you?”
“She—”
“You didn’t give her an opportunity. Did you?”
“Well I—”
“Zayn, we talked about this. You need to let the woman do her job.”
“You are fucking infuriating. I am letting her do her job,” I say.
“Telling her she has to be your date for tonight is not letting her do her job. You’re overstepping, and it’s still the first week.”
It’s my turn to sigh as I take a seat on the couch. I need to sit down to have this conversation.
“She’s making me go to a party beforehand.”
“Is that supposed to make it better? She’s helping you, you know. You should try and be less grumpy,” Logan says.
“Just tell me about this gala,” I say, changing the subject. Annie is helping me, I know that, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.
“Well, you already know it’s for the Young Actors Association. People are happy you are returning and might ask you questions about getting involved again.”
The groan that comes out of my mouth should be enough to tell Logan how I feel about the event.
“It’s a good first event back for you,” Logan continues. “They are the ones that helped you land your early roles.”
And played a pivotal part in my career. And helped me gain access to hundreds of industry connections.
But over the past few years, my involvement has slowed.
Each year I give back less and less. I haven’t stepped foot near their headquarters for over a year.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk with others and explain what happened between Marissa and I.
“Great,” is the only reply I have for Logan.
“Don’t worry so much. You’ll have Annie to help guide you since you forced her to come with you.”
I grit my teeth. “I didn’t force her. She said yes.”
“Regardless, I give her three weeks of putting up with you.”
I laugh. “You’ve put up with me for the past decade, maybe you can give her some advice.”
“My advice would be to you, not her, as you’re the one in the hot seat. She’s there to help you. Remember that. Have fun at the gala, try to stay out of trouble.”
I huff and disconnect the line. This past year may not have been the best, I’ll admit that.
My attitude might be a slight problem, but I’ve been like this for so long at this point that it’s hard to see where the light at the end of the tunnel is.
It’s not that I don’t want to improve my image, I do, I’ve just been trapped in this darkness, with no one to shine a light on the way out.
Will Annie be the light? Or will she find that I’m not worth pulling out of the dark?