43. Zayn
Zayn
“Zayn, we are going to be late,” Annie calls from down the hall.
The week has come and gone too fast, and now it’s the second Saturday in December. We have two weeks until our contract is over. Too many events, too many dinners, too many galas—all for publicity.
I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror, making sure I don’t have any hairs out of place.
This is our last big event together as a couple, and I want to make sure it’s perfect. Tonight is the holiday charity gala for the Young Actors Association. It’s hosted at some fancy event space, and there will be food and dancing. Something I’m surprisingly looking forward to.
“I’m coming,” I yell back to Annie.
Two hands slip under my arms as I’m doing the final touches and warmth surrounds my back. The pressure of Annie giving me a hug startles me slightly, enough to have her chuckling.
“You look handsome, Zayn.” She presses a kiss to my back.
I shift my body, turning around to face her. My hands move to wrap around her waist, and I tug her close to me. Her hands trail my chest, landing next to my collarbones.
I allow my eyes to gaze at her body. What I can see of it anyway.
She’s wearing a mid-length sapphire blue dress.
It dips low between her breasts, and has a smooth, silk like feeling to it as my hands grip her tighter.
As I breathe, the smells of her overwhelm my senses and I dive my mouth into her neck.
She laughs again, and it’s the happiest sound I’ve heard. It’s music to my ears, enough to make me stop kissing her because I can’t stop smiling.
“Zayn—” She laughs again, trying to weave herself out of my arms.
I grip her tighter, peppering more kisses to her skin. She’s fucking addicting.
“Zayn, we are going to be late.”
“I don’t care.”
“You should care. You have to talk first.”
I groan into her neck and release the tension from my hands.
“Why do you have to be so damn irresistible?” I ask, staring at Annie.
“You’re the only one that thinks that.”
“Impossible. I don’t believe that for one second.” I shake my head.
“Believe what you want, Mr. Barnes.” Annie winks and turns to walk out the bathroom door. “Let’s go!”
A sigh escapes me as I follow. I’m excited for tonight, to be with Annie, but I also know that we may not have many other nights like this. So, for that reason, I’m hesitant to let myself live in the moment, knowing that this could be our last.
***
The clapping in the room tells me the speech that I just mumbled my way through did what it was intended to do: introduce the night, talk about the silent auction, tell everyone to dance and to be on the lookout for news around what I’m doing next.
Annie thought it might be good to throw that last piece in there, even though we have no idea if I’ll land the role or not.
She thought that if we got people talking about it, to be interested in what I’m doing next, then Ed would be more willing to give me the part in the trilogy.
She must be onto something because as soon as my feet hit the ground from the platform steps, I have a few reporters ready to ask me questions.
“Zayn, can you tell us about any of your upcoming projects?” one woman asks.
“Zayn, how do you feel being back and helping the Young Actors Association?” another asks.
“Zayn, we notice a shift in your outlook on life. Can you attribute that to anything particular?” a man asks.
I answer them all, short and succinct, just like Annie taught me. I even throw in a few smiles as photos are taken.
“That was great.” Annie beams up at me as I take a seat next to her at the table.
“Were you watching me?” I ask.
“Of course I was watching, and I have to say, you’re my star pupil.” She winks.
“What can I say? I have the best teacher.” I press a kiss on her mouth when I hear someone calling my name.
When my gaze shifts to the right, I see Ed walking our way.
“Annie, good to see you. It’s been a while.” Ed says.
She smiles and says hello. “I haven’t had time to come get lunch with Cass in a while, I’ve been busy with this one.” She nods to me and they both chuckle.
“Yeah, he’s a handful isn’t he?”
“Hey, I’m right here.” I shrug, glaring at them both.
“It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Ed says, brows raised.
“It was, but not anymore,” Annie says with confidence.
“I agree, and that speech you gave was incredible. Think we can chat late next week?”
“Of course,” I answer, trying to keep my tone even. Inside, I feel as if my body is turning into mush and my brain is trying to process the fact that next week I will know if I get this trilogy role.
“Great to see you again, Annie. And good luck in New York, Cassie told me about your new job.”
Annie’s smile falters but returns a second later. “Thanks, Ed.” Her voice wavers, but Ed doesn’t notice.
I notice. I notice everything about Annie.
When she’s sad, like now, her smiles aren’t as vibrant.
They are forced, plastered on. She blinks more often, as if she’s trying to tell herself to not cry.
She fidgets with the closest item, which right now happens to be a napkin in her lap that she’s forming into a ball and rolling between her palms.
But when she’s happy, truly happy, her smile is bright and lively. And damn, is it contagious. I find my mood improving around her, as does everyone else. She gets the cutest crinkles around her nose and eyes, and her shoulders are relaxed, like she let go of every tension she was holding on to.
Ed walks away, and Annie turns to face the front of the table.
“You okay?” I ask, not wanting to cause her to think about it, but also wanting to show her I care and am here if she wants to talk about it.
“No, but I will be.” She tries to smile, but the corners of her mouth don’t lift more than a few centimeters. “Should we go dance?”
Various couples are dancing in circles to the slow jazz music coming from the speakers in the front of the room.
“Yes, let’s go dance. Then we might be able to sneak out of here.” I smile, grabbing her hand as I stand up from the chair.
Dinner can wait until later. Right now, I need her in my arms. I need to know she’s okay.
We walk over to the dance floor and situate ourselves in between the clumps of people.
I snake one arm around her waist, and place her other hand in mine.
We sway to the beat and she leans her head on my chest. Her chest rises and falls, again and again, letting me know she’s trying to calm herself.
Hopefully not thinking too hard about it all though, not alone.
She doesn’t need to do this alone. Not anymore.
The music shifts to a quicker beat, and I move my hips a little faster. Our hands follow suit, moving quickly in an up and down motion. She giggles against my chest, and I couldn’t be happier that between the music and the dancing, that she’s starting to feel better.
She leans her head back and meets my gaze.
She doesn’t have to tell me she loves me for me to see it in her eyes, to see the longing and ache already settling in. To see that she doesn’t want this to end. Because I know my eyes tell her the same story.
With my hand that’s resting on her hip, I push her away, lifting our interlaced hands in the air to twirl her in a circle. Dancing with Annie is starting to become my favorite activity. I twirl her again and pull her back into my chest, keeping rhythm with the music.
She’s smiling now, enjoying herself, enjoying us in this moment. “You’re—”
“Something else?” Annie attempts to finish my sentence.
“No, I was going to say that you’re perfect.”
“I’m far from perfect, Zayn.”
I shake my head as I twirl her in a circle again.
“No, I don’t believe that. Your flaws are what make you perfect. You’re perfect to me, Annie.”
“Stop being so nice to me, it isn’t helping.” Annie pouts.
“I can’t help it, it’s who I am now, thanks to someone special.” I meet Annie halfway, pressing a kiss against her lips. I want to tell her I love her. I want to tell her, to beg her to stay, to tell her that I’m nothing without her.
But it wouldn’t be fair.
I can’t do that to her. I can’t be the reason she stays.
Because her staying would cause her to lose her job, and what if she can’t find another one?
What if she starts to resent me? Then instead of getting to choose how this ends, we end up in a toxic relationship because neither of us are getting what we want.
“I bet that person thinks you’re pretty special too,” Annie says, laying her head back on my chest as the music shifts to a slower beat.
We stay like this, swaying to the beats that surround us, ignoring those crowding around. My breath is steady, and I’m grounded. I know what I want, and I hate knowing I can’t have it.
But I’m grateful for what I have right now because I don’t think I’ll ever find a love like I have for Annie.
It’s not everyday you stumble across the one person that you feel completes you like a puzzle piece, that helps even out the rough edges, that laughs at your bad jokes, and never lets you feel alone.
And because of that, I keep us in our bubble, not ready to let it pop just yet.