Chapter 18 Start the Morning with a Bang
Start the Morning with a Bang
How is it that the things we want the most are the things we’re most afraid of?
Of course I wanted to say yes. The sex last night had not just been amazing; it had shifted the ground beneath my feet.
For years, I’d seen myself as a defective piece of machinery.
But after we tinkered together for a few hours, I realized I was never broken in the first place.
I’d just been forgotten up on the shelf, left to rust.
I didn’t want to lose that feeling.
And I especially didn’t want to lose the feeling of him rocking his cock against me like he was doing right now.
But…
“I told you. I can’t let myself get distracted. This was supposed to be a one-and-done. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do this.”
“And you did. Now, what are you going to do with that information? Go back to your old self? Keep coloring inside the lines? Following all these ridiculous rules you’ve set for yourself?”
He wasn’t unkind. Far from it. He was like a coach giving me a pep talk, hoping to inspire me to more. And God, did I want more.
“It doesn’t have to be a relationship. It can just be sex,” he offered.
“You’d be okay with that?”
“I’ll want whatever you’re willing to give me.”
He sounded so sincere that I almost melted right there.
I’d learned my lesson, though. I wasn’t a good judge of character.
I didn’t know enough about people to be able to tell the difference between a truth and a lie.
Case in point: Lloyd Exeter. He’d told me he loved me and respected me and wanted to be with me for more than sex.
In hindsight, I could see the faults in our relationship’s design.
The clandestine meetings. The expectation that I give and never receive.
At the time, it looked perfectly engineered all the way.
Sure, Hudson seemed sincere now. But if I looked back in six months, a year, two years? What would I see clearly that I’d missed this time around?
Saying no to him was safer. It was much, much safer.
Sure, Clara had given me the green light to take some risks. But I couldn’t give myself the same unbridled permission.
“I just don’t trust myself, Hudson. I’ve made so many mistakes in the past. I don’t want to repeat them.”
“You’re never going to learn if you don’t try.”
I dropped my head. He cupped my cheek and lifted it back up.
“Look. Maybe last night really was all you needed. That’s fine.
If that’s the case, I’ll go right now and we’ll never talk about this again.
But I just don’t want you to throw me away because you’re scared.
Like I said, it doesn’t have to be serious.
We can just have fun and enjoy ourselves.
” When I didn’t respond, he added, “You should get whatever you want, Scout. All you have to do is decide what that is.”
I wanted to be the person who did that. Wanted to be the type who threw caution to the wind and slipped into a casual FWB situation with the hot guy who liked her. Wanted to believe someone like Hudson could like her without ulterior motives—uncomplicatedly and earnestly.
And him. I wanted him.
“Getting what I want is exactly what I’m afraid of,” I confided. “I always screw it up somehow.”
“Me too. I told you about my last relationship. It really messed me up. I’m not good at science, but what’s that principle? About two negatives equaling a positive? Maybe this will be like that. Our bad luck will cancel each other out.”
Even like this, with my heart in disarray and my pussy aching and my world in the balance, he could make me laugh.
“What do you want, Scout? You have to tell me or I can’t give it to you.”
“Right back at you, Mr. I Don’t Care What We Eat for Dinner.”
He rolled his eyes as if to say Okay, you’ve got me there. “Well, right now, what I want is you. Can I have you? Will you have me?”
Problem: I don’t want to stop being with Hudson.
Proposed Solution: Stay with him.
Test: Say yes.
Result: Who knows?
I hated the scientific uncertainty of it all. But it was decision time. With Clara’s voice in my head urging me to take risks and Hudson’s encouragement ringing in my ears, I made mine. Reckless and stupid as it was. “Yeah. I want you.”
He shrugged. “Then everything else is secondary.”
Attacking his lips with my own, I grabbed him by the waist and pulled his body flush against mine.
I’d never put my robe on, so I was still completely naked.
With only his briefs between us, he could be inside me in a second.
I was certainly wet enough, having never really recovered from last night’s peak horniness.
But he threaded his hands through my hair, twisting the locks slightly to keep me in place. Like he was doing everything in his power not to let me go. My hands fumbled with his briefs, but he pulled back, keeping me just far enough away that he could dip down and take my left nipple in his mouth.
I moaned. Nipple clamps and stimulators were all very well and good, but—
Oh!
He bit down slightly on my hardened bud, then made up for the tweak of pain with a deep kiss. He repeated the process on my right, removing his hand from my hair long enough to ensure that both nipples got equal attention—one from his mouth, one from his fingers.
I had spent twenty-six years without ever once having a real dick in me, and yet my pussy had never felt so empty.
As if reading my thoughts, he turned me around to face the kitchen island.
A strong hand cupped the back of my neck, guiding me down until I was bent over the counter.
Hands on the faux marble, framing my head.
Feet wide on the floor, so my legs were spread for him. I was exposed, his for the taking.
My breath made fireworks of condensation on the countertop. Every one of my internal systems hummed in anticipation.
Arching my back, I presented my ass, waiting for him to enter me from behind. When he didn’t, I offered:
“Aren’t you going to…?”
He tutted, then stepped forward, closing much of the gap between us. The head of his length danced against my dripping entrance, teasing me with what I wanted most. “I told you. I can’t give you what you want until you ask for it.”
My mind flashed for a moment to the folder of diagrams and specs on the BuzzCorp servers, the results of lab studies on stimulation and arousal.
He was pushing every button, playing out the science on my extremely willing body.
Delay and denial were useful tools in the sex toy department.
Now I understood their merit in real-world applications.
His cock slipped against my clit for the briefest of seconds. My entire body shuddered from the contact. I could almost hear his self-satisfied smirk.
“Please…” I swallowed hard, barely able to form a complete thought except: “I need you inside me.”
He was more than happy to oblige. I cried out as he filled me with one long, perfect thrust. My hands splayed across the counter; my nipples stung from the sensation of the cold surface underneath them.
Once inside me, he hesitated. No thrusting. No movement. Just the solid all of him stretching my walls, waiting for permission to continue.
Instinctively, as if urging him to come the hell on, my pussy seized around him. But he held firm.
“And?” he prompted.
I swallowed. “Fuck me. And don’t stop.”
His cock probed once against the back of me, and then he was fucking me like he wanted the memory branded into my skin. Like he wanted to write his sex into my core’s memory. Like he never wanted another man to compare. Like no other pussy had ever compared for him.
It was every bit as fulfilling as last night had been. But where that had been the work of a man who believed it was his last time—a man who wanted to savor each sensation—this was the work of a man who wanted me to come back again and again and again.
I met him every time, yearning for more, faster, deeper. When my hand wandered down to my clit, however, he grabbed my wrist and firmly directed my palm back to the counter. From the corner of my eye, I watched him retrieve the finger vibrator.
All this he did without missing a single stroke inside me.
How was it that he was this flawlessly competent at every single thing he did—including me?
“So. Are we also going to revise our agreement on practical demonstrations? I think they would be very instructive for my sex toy education.”
I would give him anything he wanted if he made me cum right now.
“Yes. Yes. I’ll show you. I’ll teach you—”
Each word was more strangled than the last.
“How do I turn it on?” he whispered against my neck.
“Slip it onto your finger and press it down hard against the counter. Three presses will turn it to its highest setting.”
He clicked it only once.
“Tell me what you want,” he reiterated.
It was hard to talk when he was pounding me breathless, but at this point, I knew how to get what I wanted. “Please make me cum.”
The vibrator stunned my clit. It was on its lowest setting, but still, the relief of its pressure was enough to make me mewl.
“And after that? After you’ve finished all over me?”
I tried to put thoughts together, to form a plan, as this man used me like my pussy was built for him. Eventually, I managed through moans:
“I want you to keep fucking me. Until you, mm, finish your contract at BuzzCorp, let’s, ah, keep doing this. Fuck—please.”
“Agreed,” he managed, barely able to keep his own tone in check now. Our peaks were fast approaching, we could both feel it.
“But we, nnnh, can’t tell anyone.”
He grunted. “Fine.”
“And,” I hissed as the stroking of the vibrator and the pounding of his cock hit a sloppy, unrelenting rhythm my body could no longer hold at bay. I was climbing, my orgasm so close, and I could tell he was close now, too. “You can’t—ah—you can’t fall in love with me or, nhhhh, anything like that—”
“How does this feel, Scout? How does the vibrator against your clit feel? Remember, this is for my education—”
He pressed his finger hard against my clit. I shook as the vibrations reached their second-highest level.
“It feels like all my muscles are shaking at their highest frequency. Like I have no choice but to tighten around you.”
A growl from over my shoulder. He pressed me again. The vibrations reached their apex.
And so did he.
“Fuck, Scout—!”
Hudson roared his climax. The shock waves only accentuated my fast-coming orgasm.
I wanted to return to our deal-making. To make it absolutely clear that I wouldn’t repeat old mistakes by mixing the dangerous chemicals of pleasure with business.
But then, at the very same moment, his cock hit in just the right spot and his fingers dragged the vibrator over my clit in a furious, final crescendo.
My words came out as nothing more than a strangled scream. I toppled over the edge, squeezing the last drops of his own orgasm from him until we fell into a toppled heap on the kitchen counter.
For a few moments, we lay there. Breathless. Limbless. And I, for one, was scared shitless. I mean, I’d just agreed to six more weeks of this man. Six more weeks of his jokes and his warm heart and his beautiful cock and his knowledge of exactly what to do with it.
“Miss Porter,” he said, turning off the vibrator and kissing my shoulder. “That was one hell of a lesson. And as for your demands, you’ve got yourself a deal.”
Yeah. We did have a deal. A deal with the devil, probably.
But hey. At least the road to hell would be paved with good sex.