Chapter Thirty-Six
Gabe
If nothing else, waking up in the familiar surroundings of my own bedroom felt really good. The blacks and whites were calming, if not a bit dull after the rich wood of Mitch’s cabin and his colorful throws and cushions. Also, while my memory foam mattress was way more comfortable than his older one, I kind of preferred his because he and Leo would be there too, rather than me alone in the large, empty bed I currently sprawled in.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked my space but had gotten used to having a big hairy Mitch to cuddle into, or Leo’s muscular chest to lie my head on.
My beach house was stunning, but also sterile. Hmmm, perhaps I needed to add some color and mix it up a little?
“Hello?” Mason’s voice carried from the hallway. “Gabe?” he shouted up to me from the bottom of the stairs. “Get your sorry ass down here.” Now I’d returned to my own home, I should have guessed he wouldn’t leave me alone. For a guy who had the gentlest voice most of the time, he could be loud and annoying when he wanted to be heard. “Gabe,” he shouted again.
“All right, all right. Keep your hair on.” Throwing off the covers, I padded over to my bedroom door and leaned out to glower at the man at the foot of the stairs, his smug grin not helping my mood in the least.
He nodded his acknowledgment of me but continued to hold my gaze. “It’s done,” he said solemnly, meaning he’d delivered the latest papers to Mitch as I’d asked. I was too raw to venture anywhere near him to make the drop myself.
I’d added an extra bonus, too, in the form of a personal check. Without a doubt, Mitch wouldn’t survive the end of winter without some extra cash. We may not have worked out, but I wasn’t so callous or resentful to let him freeze to death because he didn’t have the funds to pay the heating bill. Plus, the guy needed a break, and I had plenty of money to splash around. The amount I’d written on the check wouldn’t even register in my bank account, so why not help him out and gift enough for him to finish his renovations and have a reasonable sum left over? Knowing him, he’d probably tear the check in two, anyway, just to be an asshole. I smiled as I envisaged him doing exactly that, the obstinate fucker.
“Come next door when you’re ready.” Mason gave me a massive smile. “Ash is making breakfast.”
“Wouldn’t wanna miss out on free food now, would I?”
I ignored how down, and angry, and annoyed, and upset, and fucking frustrated I’d become after letting two near strangers have access to my heart. Because yes, after tossing and turning all night, I finally gave in to the fact, as well as Leo, I’d also fallen in love with the biggest asshole of a guy ever born—Mitchell fucking Houghton.
Despite all the crap going on in my life, there’s no way in hell I intended to miss out on a decent breakfast. I needed comfort food to indulge myself in, and anyway, my problems weren’t going anywhere.
“I need to shower, so give me ten minutes,” I hollered back.
Mason nodded again and disappeared to his home next door.
A quick brush of my teeth and making sure not to look in the mirror at my sad and pathetic expression, I took a quick shower, dried, and dressed in clothes actually small enough to fit me, then headed next door. I stopped for a second to take in the turbulent sea crashing on the snow-covered beach, the waves booming as they landed on the shore, loving the fact my view reached to the far distant horizon rather than a few feet, like Mitch’s place, before the magnificent pine trees covering the landscape blocked everything else out, their thick bark and evergreen foliage cradling the cabin nestled in their midst. Yeah, okay, maybe living surrounded by all those trees wasn’t so bad, after all.
After taking my fill of the beach and sea, I made my way over to Mason’s and Ash’s with a couple of minutes to spare, Mason grinning at me as I let myself in.
As always, the interior decoration of their beach house never ceased to surprise me. The place had been a dump when Ash had inherited the run-down shack from his late aunt, but they’d transformed the space beyond recognition, turning it into a beautiful home. With the many sea-green cushions and throws brightening up the room, alongside bursts of color from the art they’d acquired standing out against the chalk-white walls, my house appeared bland and uninteresting in comparison.
My favorite item in their home, except for the huge piece of driftwood art on the dining room wall, was the large squishy sectional sofa. I’d spent a lot of time slouching on the comfy cushions and chatting to Mason and Ash and had created fond memories of being a part of their family in such a short time.
“I told Ash breakfast would get you out of your pit.” He stood behind his fiancé as he served up and gave him a tender kiss on his neck, the simple action sparking a wide streak of jealousy that he’d managed to get and hold onto his man while I’d managed to lose both of mine.
Again.
“Take a seat,” Ash said, smiling up at me as he pushed a plate of french toast toward where I stood on the other side of the kitchen island.
They made a cute couple, even if initially we were a bit shocked the only straight one out of the four of us managed to bag the type of guy we’d all give our right arm for. Well, except for Ethan, of course, who’d already bagged Nate.
A number of years younger than Mason, Ash had turned up exactly when he’d needed him most, and I, for one, couldn’t be more grateful. We were close to losing Mason to his depression and anxiety, but Ash had helped pull him back from the brink and made him happier than I’d ever seen him.
“Eat,” Mason ordered, so I did. Cutting a big piece of the toast, I slathered mascarpone cheese and some of Ash’s homemade strawberry jam on the top, before inelegantly shoving the forkful in my mouth.
“Damn, that’s good,” I groaned around my mouthful of food, Ash beaming at my praise.
“So,” Mason began. “We’re having a few friends over later for drinks and some food.”
I raised my eyebrows in question.
“Sawyer, Cameron, and Flynn.” He listed, then looked at me, his eyes full of mischief. “You remember Flynn, don’t you?”
“Fuck you.”
My friend’s snicker instantly lifted my moodiness. “Plus a few other people. You should join us.”
“What other people?” I assumed I wouldn’t want to be sociable at all today, instead wanting to shut myself away in my beach house and feel sorry for myself. But after twenty-four hours of wallowing and missing Leo and Mitch, I’d already had enough of my own company and yearned to be around my friends, letting their love and laughter help lift me out of my misery. It was also typical of Mason to remember my exes were getting married at three this afternoon, and especially thoughtful of him to try to distract me.
“Just some friends we’ve gotten to meet since I moved here full time.”
I grunted a maybe, and Mason rolled his eyes.
“Please, Gabe,” Ash added. “It would mean a lot to us if you’d come.”
I smirked. I couldn’t help it.
Mason instantly clicked his fingers and pointed at me, turning my smirk into a full-on grin. “Behave.”
“What?” Ash looked at him, confused for a second, before the sweetest blush hit his cheeks after he worked out what his words implied. “If you were here,” he amended. “It would mean a lot to us if you were here.”
Mason slipped his arm around Ash’s shoulders, and pulling him in close, planted a kiss on his temple. “He knew exactly what you meant.”
He was right. I did.
“Please,” Ash pleaded, looking at me like I’d taken his puppy away.
“Okay, okay. Stop with the emotional blackmail, Ash. Jesus. Fine. I’ll be here, all right?” I forked another piece of french toast. “Now let me eat my breakfast in peace.”
“Of course.” Then he reached across the island to lay his hand on mine and patted me gently a few times.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, liking that I pleased them both and not minding in the least this time around it was their two against my one. Which of course led me straight back to Leo and Mitch and wondering if they would have enjoyed meeting my friends as much as I would have enjoyed introducing them.
Fuck my life.
I stayed for another hour and a second round of french toast before vacating my seat to let them do whatever they needed to get their place ready for their guests.
“Be here at two. No later,” Mason warned, moving around the island to give me a hug, then wrapping his muscular arms around my shoulders and pulling me in close. “I don’t want you on your own today, okay?” he whispered in my ear. I moved my head against his shoulder in agreement. I didn’t particularly want to be on my own any longer either.
“You making eggnog?” I asked, causing him to shake his head at me. “It’s not Christmas Eve without eggnog.”
“Yes, I’m making eggnog.”
I raised an eyebrow and received a world-weary sigh.
“Yes, Ash is making eggnog. Happy now?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.” He playfully shoved me away. “Some of us have work to do while you go and make yourself look pretty.”
“Hey,” I grumbled, “I always look pretty.”
“Course you do.” He flapped his hands at me. “Now shoo.”
The wind had picked up as I made my way over to my place, and the loose woolen sweater and T-shirt I wore did nothing to stop the harsh elements filtering through the material to cool my skin. Once in the warm, I lit the gas fire, turning the heat down low. My house wasn’t cold, as I’d insulated the hell out of it, when I did my own renovation, but I liked having the fire on as the space felt so much cozier. I glanced around the room at the few pieces of furniture I had. A black leather sofa, a couple of metal side tables, a glass dining table and four white chairs being the sum of my decoration. I needed to update the place when summer came around, add some different, more colorful furniture, get some cushions and stuff—make the inside feel homier.
On reflection, I’d never noticed the starkness of my beach house before, and looking around now, my home environment pretty much summed up my life—bleak and devoid of color—and it had been for years. But in the last week, there had been so much color, I’d been blinded by the brightness and intensity. I’d always lived life in the fast lane. Out with friends at bars, clubs, restaurants, you name it, every chance I got. Picking up random guys on an almost nightly basis, I’d decided I was having fun and enriching my life. In truth, I’d had a far better time being stranded in the middle of nowhere at the cabin and relished cooking for Leo and Mitch and hearing them praise my food. I’d enjoyed relaxing on the sofa together, talking, getting to know them while the dogs snored contentedly by the fire.
I’d been a homeboy at heart who craved closeness, family, long term partners, and had never realized it. When she finds out, Mamá is never gonna let me live this down. Her playboy son finally wanted the quieter pace of life; she’d milk this for all she was worth.
The sudden sound of the doorbell piercing the calm made me jump. I walked down the hall toward the front door and spotted Ethan and Nate on my stoop.
“Hi, honey, we’re home,” Ethan sang through the glass, his killer smile, which at one time used to have men lining up to fall into his bed, spreading from ear to ear.
God, I’d missed him and his handsome face. I’d only been gone from the city a week, but so much had happened in that time, my absence felt more like a lifetime. Throwing open the door, he scooped me up in a huge man hug, as he swayed back and forth.
“Hey, Gabe,” Nate’s smiling face greeted me as I caught sight of him over his boyfriend’s shoulder.
I returned his smile. “Hey, Nate.”
Releasing me, I looked them both over. “What’re you two doing here?”
“Three,” A deep rumbling voice answered as Ty stepped around from the side of the house to take over from Ethan and wrap me up in a bone-crushing hug.
“Guys,” I choked, my emotions getting the better of me.
“Jeez, stop with the waterworks already,” Ethan quipped, and got a slap on the arm from Nate for his efforts. He turned to his partner with wide, innocent eyes. “What?”
After Ty let me go, Nate slipped between the two taller men and stood in front of me, his hand up and resting on my shoulder. “We were in the neighborhood so decided to pop by and”—he shrugged—“stay for the holidays.”
One of the lures Mason had used during the summer to get me up here for the holidays had been the idea of all us guys getting together like we used to. I’d left him to organize the logistics, but as he’d not mentioned any more about it, for some reason I’d gotten the idea they weren’t coming. Add in all my recent turmoil, and now seeing my closest friends almost became too overwhelming. They’d come for me, to be there for me.
Ethan put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face the hallway. “Can we continue this somewhere warmer because I’m freezing my nipples off out here.”
“Yeah, come on in,” I managed to say. “You need help with the luggage?”
“No problem, I got it,” Ty replied and headed to the car.
We walked down the hallway into the living space where I soon realized we wouldn’t all fit.
“Shit.” I scratched my head as I looked around the room. I really needed more furniture.
“Don’t you go worrying your pretty little head,” Ethan replied. “I remembered you didn’t have enough comfy places to sit, so I brought my own chair.”
I gawped at him like he’d suddenly grown horns.
“It’s the one I use when Nate and I go camping.”
I snorted. “You? Camping?” How had I not heard about this?
His bright grin almost blinded me before he glanced over at Nate, who smiled indulgently at his partner. They got lost deep in each other’s eyes for a few moments, and I couldn’t stop staring. There’d been no one more of a player than Ethan, which coming from me said a hell of a lot. Before he met Nate, there were hardly any men left in New York City whose bed he hadn’t fucked in.
I studied the slim, summer-blond man who’d become the love of his life. With his boy-next-door looks, he was cute, there was no getting away from it, and I if I’d met him first, I definitely would have had sex with him, but only the one time. Nate’s unassuming presence meant he almost blended into the background, and I’d often wondered how he’d managed to capture, and more to the point, keep Ethan’s attention. The guy must either have superpowers none of us were aware of or be absolutely incredible in the sack. Either way, he’d been exactly what Ethan had needed, and I wasn’t jealous in the slightest.
Oh, who the fuck was I kidding? Along with Mason and Ash, all I pictured was a sea of vivid green. I wanted what they had, so fucking badly, and I thought I’d had it, too, the first time around.
Boy, had I been so wrong. Karl and David had nothing on Leo and Mitch.
Nothing.
They’d inexplicably managed to burrow their way under my iron-clad defenses without me realizing and were there to stay. I’d been so fixated on skimming the superficial surface of our attraction, I’d not paid attention to the changes going on inside my head, or more importantly, inside my heart.
I’d been so fucking dense I could punch myself.
It was like I’d emerged from a long and exhausting sleep, the fog lifting as I gradually fought my way to wakefulness for the first time in years. Karl and David were getting married later this afternoon, and I felt…nothing. Zilch. Nada.
After arriving at the beach house yesterday morning, I’d spent long hours analyzing the last week and comparing my time with Mitch and Leo to my past failed relationship, finally grasping the blindingly simple reason we hadn’t worked out. Because, deep down, I hadn’t wanted it to. I’d been subconsciously sabotaging my relationship with Karl and David for a very long time. The late nights and weekends at the office. The numerous months away for work. I’d been absent and no longer engaged in our lives. No wonder they’d decided they didn’t want me around. I’d already checked out long ago.
“You okay there, buddy?” Ethan asked, concern marring his handsome face.
I swallowed a couple of times and cleared my throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.”
He studied me intently, silently contemplating my words. Of course, he figured it out in two seconds flat. “About time,” he remarked softly, pulling me in for another hug. “About fucking time.”