Chapter Thirty-Eight
Gabe
It amazed me how many friends Mason and Ash had made in the few short months since they’d put down roots here. The living area and kitchen were full of people drinking, eating, and having a great time.
Well, nearly all.
I’d tried. I truly had, but no matter what I did, I ended up being a completely miserable bastard.
Even Flynn gave me a wide berth after an enthusiastic greeting. He’d flirted like crazy when I’d first arrived, hoping, I guess, to pick up where we’d left off with another round between the sheets. I felt like a total shit when he figured out I wasn’t up for a repeat of the last time we met a few months ago. But he’d taken it on the chin, shrugged his shoulders, gone back to his friends, and not come anywhere near me since.
“Here,” a deep bass voice reverberated in my ear at the same time a tumbler containing a dark tawny liquid appeared over my shoulder, the ice clinking in the cut crystal glass. Tyrell’s face came into view a couple of seconds later. “You look like you could use a stiff drink.”
Amen to that.
I gripped the glass and took a sip, savoring the initial burn of the spiced rum before the sweetness followed along behind when I swallowed.
I’d felt like a fish out of water all afternoon, which wasn’t like me at all. Normally, I’d be right in the center of things, scoping out the place for any potential conquests, enjoying the chase when I found a guy who held my interest. Instead, I sat firmly on the sidelines, propping my butt on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, out of the way as I scanned the room, more interested in trying to work out who was with whom, studying couples and how they interacted. The small touches, the glances, the secret smiles—I wanted to be them so much.
“Here’s the thing,” Ty stated clearly over the music. I turned to the left and tilted my head all the way up to look at him. “You can walk away. Make a clean break, put this brief dalliance behind you.” He shrugged. “Or you can take a deep breath and stay and fight for what you so clearly want.”
I barked out a laugh and shook my head at him. “Clichés, Tyrell, really? You should know better than that.”
His chuckle was so low, the vibrations rumbled deep in my chest. “The old ones are the best.”
“Sure. You keep telling yourself that.” I took another sip of my spiced rum. “I’m guessing Mason told you?” He nodded in reply. “I swear, he’s the biggest damn gossip of the lot of you.”
“He’s worried about you.” Ty’s hand reached up to rest on my shoulder—solid, comforting. “We all are.”
I placed my hand over his and patted it a couple of times. “I know you are and I’m grateful; really, I am.”
“But?”
“I don’t think fighting for what I want will make any difference.”
“How can you be so sure if you’re not even willing to try?”
I rolled my eyes and received more chuckling.
“Hey,” Ty shot back. “I’m on fire here; leave me be.”
“What would you do?” I asked him curiously. He fixed his eyes on me for a few seconds before looking away, staring blankly into the room.
He released a brittle laugh. “Relationships have never really been my forte, so no point asking me.”
I scanned through my long friendship with Ty and realized the truth of his statement. We’d been buddies a long time, and while I’d been introduced to his many casual dates, I’d never known him to be serious about anyone. I assumed he’d never found “The One,” but maybe he had a different reason for his reluctance to commit to one of the guys from the numerous short-term affairs he’d had in the past.
I was about to ask more questions, but he spoke again.
“What I will say, is if you care for these two men, and I suspect you do?” He stopped and waited for my confirmation. “Perhaps, even love them?” I gave a shaky nod, small, still trying to get accustomed to the feelings. “So, fight for them, Gabe, because the what-if’s and wondering what you should have done if you’d had a little more faith in them and your relationship will drive you fucking crazy.”
For someone who’d never had a long-term partner, he sure seemed to know a lot about what might happen if I didn't at least try to make a go of it.
Perhaps I needed to speak to the guys to see if they had any idea about Ty’s past as there seemed to be a lot more going on here than he was telling me.
“Perhaps you should start fighting right now?”
“Huh?”
He continued staring out into the room, so I followed his line of sight, my body jolting when I noticed Leo and Mitch standing in the entry, their eyes locked on me and Ty, and, boy, they did not look happy.
It took a second for me to work out why. My hand remained resting on Ty’s, and I had been staring up into his face. The image we made could easily be misconstrued as something else entirely, and the fact they’d jumped right to the point where they were unable to hide their jealousy made me all jittery inside and extremely fucking happy.
I released Ty’s hand, and he took his off my shoulder. Then, I stood and readied myself. “Show time,” I murmured.
He patted my arm. “Go get ’em, tiger.”
I scowled at him, and his big cheesy grin only made me scowl all the more. “Jackass.”
I didn’t wait for another smart comeback as I made my way through the groups of people, my gaze laser focused on the two men holding hands and staring right at me. I didn’t stop, walking straight past them onto the new teak deck Mason and Ash had recently installed.
“Let’s go over to mine,” I said. “It’ll be quieter over there.” Not waiting for an answer, I continued across the boards toward my house, my territory. It’d make a nice change to be on home ground, somewhere familiar where they would feel out of place rather than me. Plus, if our conversation turned to shit, they’d be the ones to leave, and I wouldn’t end up in Leo’s fucking Jeep half the night.
Of course, until I saw the thick winter jackets hanging on the dining chairs, I had forgotten Ethan and Nate were still here, and judging by the loud moans and bed squeaks traveling down the hallway, they weren’t planning on leaving any time soon.
Crap .
“Follow me.” I headed to the door under the stairs and down into the basement and my home gym. “And shut the door behind you.” At least down here the room was mostly soundproofed.
Flicking on the lights, I continued to the middle of the room, turned to face them, planted my feet, and crossed my arms much the same way Mitch had done when we’d first arrived at his cabin forever ago. He still had Leo’s hand firmly in his, which didn’t go in any way toward reducing my irritation, only annoying me all the more.
Once again, it was them against me. United.
I waited, determined to at least win this small battle. If they had something to say to me, they’d better start talking.
Mitch’s usual grumpy face had made a long-awaited reappearance, while Leo remained hesitant, nervous, scared even, and annoyingly, I wanted to try to calm him. He felt tension more than most, and despite what had happened, I hated what I was doing to him.
But…
“Who was that guy all over you?” Mitch barked.
Okay. Not where I reasoned this would go.
“I don’t think who I socialize with is any of your business. Do you?”
He stepped forward, bringing Leo with him until they stood right in front of me, then leaned in close, invading my personal space. “Think again,” he growled, the low timbre of his voice sliding along my skin, giving me goose bumps.
It had been a day and a half since I’d seen them but felt more like an eternity. And now they were here, with Mitch so close, the familiar scent of pine shower gel and musk and fire smoke filling my nostrils, I couldn’t help but breathe him in.
God, he smelled like home.
“No one touches you but us.”
Us .
“Oh, please,” I scoffed, “I don’t belong to you.”
His left hand slid up the side of my neck, the feel of his rough palm and calloused fingertips making my skin tingle. He cupped my neck, stroking his thumb along my jaw. “Yes, you do.”
Leo’s hand mirrored Mitch’s and my body started to tremble as I tried to fight against my visceral reaction to them, the need to give in to their touch a desperate living thing.
Shoving them off, I stepped out of their reach, edging backward until my legs bumped against the bench running along the wall. They moved with me, one on either side, caging me in, so close their body temperature rose along with mine.
I tried for nonchalance and smirked at Mitch. “I recall you telling us both to get the hell out yesterday.”
There, my brain hadn’t stopped functioning after all, though barely, when they both placed their hands on my neck, stroking, caressing.
“I was wrong.”
“Oh?” I patted myself on the back when the word didn’t come out on a croak due to the lack of moisture in my mouth. “You seemed pretty certain about it at the time. In fact, you were extremely clear the cabin was your place—yours and Katie’s—and was all you needed. All you’ve ever needed. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think those were your exact words?”
Mitch closed his eyes, likely reliving the moment. When he reopened them, my heart jumped at the intensity in their hazel depths.
“I lied.”
“Oh, come on—”
“It’s true. I thought the life I’d chosen before you was what I wanted.” He smiled wanly. “And then you weren’t there”—he turned to gaze at Leo—“and I made Leo leave.”
“Aww. Did big bad Mitchell get lonely?”
“No.” His thumb moved to slide along my lower lip, grazing the sensitive skin. “He came to his senses.”
“And…what did they tell you?” Shit, now my voice did croak.
His smile turned predatory as he leaned in closer, his lips at my ear, his hot breath on my neck. “They told me to stop screwing around and go get the men I love.” He bit down on my earlobe, and I lost the ability to prevent the tiny sound I released from leaving my lips when he replaced the sharp pain he’d caused by flicking his tongue.
“I love you, Gabriel, and I’m sorry for hurting you.” He moved his head so he could look into my eyes, letting me see the sincerity of his admission. “I got scared. Scared to take a chance. Scared I’d lose the forgiveness I’d been searching for. Scared of what it meant to give up the one thing keeping me sane for the last few years, the one thing giving me a reason, a purpose, to get out of bed each morning. But most of all, I got scared at how you two made me feel—the passion, the emotion. I felt I was betraying my love for Katie.”
“No.” I denied firmly. “We’d never have taken the love you have for your wife away from you.”
“I understand that now. Understood it as soon as you left. You told me I had a choice to make. Live my life in the past or take the huge risk to live in the present and decide to have a future. A future including you and Leo.”
“And?” The fact he was here, told me he’d made his choice, but I needed to hear him say the words in order to truly believe him.
“I choose you,” he stated clearly, as if he’d heard exactly what I’d been thinking, and dropped his mouth to mine, his kiss laying claim to me, stripping me bare, making sure to show me exactly who his choice was. His lips slid over mine, his tongue possessive. If I hadn’t guessed he wanted me before, I certainly did now.
He pulled away from me and turned, kissing Leo too. “And I choose you,” he said to him. “I choose you both. The only answer I need now is do you both choose me?”
“Yes,” Leo replied without hesitation. He faced me, his eyes on mine. “I’m sorry, too, Gabe. Sorry I took sides when I should have comprehended how doing so would have made you feel.” He swallowed, briefly closing his eyes, his expression pained. He opened them again, fixing his gaze on me. “You always act like you’re so sure of everything, so confident. I didn’t see behind the mask until far too late. I protected Mitch because of his vulnerability. I was blind not to see how much you needed me to protect you, too, how much you keep inside, acting like you don’t care, when you care more than anyone. I love you, Gabe, and hope you can forgive me.”
My heart thumped so hard in my chest at their words, the blood surged through my veins, and I struggled to think. But I had to. Had to decide if I wanted this as much as they did. My worst nightmare came true. What they were asking of me—to commit my heart and soul to them, both of them—petrified me beyond belief.
I’d already lived this life once and had the scars to prove it. Committing to two other men had caused me more hurt, done more damage than I’d ever imagined. Yet here I was, contemplating doing the exact same thing with two different men. But men who made me feel more wanted, more complete, more loved than I’d ever been in my whole life. Why would I not want what they were so honestly offering?
Fear.
Fear of rejection, of watching them get closer while they pushed me further and further away. But they weren’t the same people as Karl and David. I wasn’t the same person either. I wanted to make this work. Would go out of my way to ensure I didn’t make the same mistakes a second time around.
As Ty had so succinctly explained, I had a choice to make: fight for them or let them go.
I looked from one to the other. Both were so different—one sweetness and light, one a moody grouch. Yet, both were so perfect for me in every single way.
In the end, it was the easiest choice I’d ever made. Raising to my toes and lifting my head, I lightly grazed Leo’s lips with mine, causing him to shake with relief. “I forgive you,” I told him softly, and the instant tears in his eyes made my heart ache. “I love you too, Leo.” He grabbed me, pulling me in for a crushing hug, proving to me exactly how much he loved me back. When he eventually let me go, we all remained silent, the air around us expectant, awaiting my as yet unspoken endearment.
Lifting my hand, I caressed Mitch’s cheek, the hope in his eyes making me bold. “Yeah, okay,” I huffed. “I love you, too, ya big lummox.” His dazzling smile hurt my eyes and made my heart overflow. I was complete. The final part of me slotted into place. “But that doesn’t mean you get your own way all the time, or we won’t argue about stuff.”
“I know,” he answered swiftly. “And I’m prepared to work on our relationship if you are.”
“Me?” I mock glared. “I’m the soul of understanding and compromise.”
His responding deep laugh meant everything.
We stood together, taking turns gazing at one another, enjoying the closeness, the rightness of it all. Letting the love between us settle in and take up permanent residence.
Leo kissed my cheek. “Are you feeling okay?”
It took me a moment to work out what he referred to. I checked my watch: 6:30 p.m. The ceremony would already have taken place. They’d be married by now. Was I okay? My gaze traveled between Leo and Mitch, the two men who’d picked me up and put me back together.
“Yeah, more than okay. In fact, I feel really great!” Moving between them, I took their hands in mine. “And I have a fabulous idea as to how we can make me feel perfect,” I said, leering at them and waggling my eyebrows.
Leo shook his head. “You have a one-track mind, Mr. Sanchez.”
“You bet your damn life I do. And this one-track mind is gonna take you upstairs and show you exactly what it means to be loved on by the best sexual partner you’ll ever have.”
“Hey,” Mitch protested.
“Hmmm, I do love me a challenge.” I leaned into Leo. “What do you say, Leo?” I teased in his ear. “Shall we get naked and take our turn with you so you can be the judge?” His whole-body shudder gave me my answer. “By the time we’ve finished with you, you’ll not even remember your own name.”
“Shit,” he shakily groaned. “But I warn you now,” he husked, “I take a lot of convincing, and you may need to prove to me more than once who’s better, so I can make my final decision.”
Mitch laughed wickedly as he quirked an eyebrow at me. “Best of three?”
I grinned at him. “Let’s make it best of five to be absolutely sure.”
Leo’s tortured moan was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.