Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
‘S even, eight. This is it,’ announced Anna, coming to a halt in front of a statue on the Charles Bridge. It was obvious that this was the correct one from the bright patches on the plaque beneath the statue of St John of Nepomuk.
‘And why do we have to touch it?’ asked Steve, looking up from his phone.
‘Because,’ Anna said impatiently, having told him this five minutes ago, ‘it’s supposed to bring good luck and ensure you come back to Prague.’
‘And who is this geezer?’ Steve stepped back and craned his neck to study the robed figure with a halo of stars around his head.
‘He was priest to the Queen,’ she told him, hoping no one had heard him being so disrespectful. ‘But when he refused to tell her husband, King Wenceslas?—’
‘Wenceslas! That’s not a real king … is it?’
‘Yes, King Wenceslas IV, to be precise.’
‘I thought he was some chap in a Christmas carol.’
Anna heaved out a sigh of exasperation but bit back her instinctive retort that he was being a dick. They’d already had a row when she complained about him being hungover and not making an effort for their first weekend together in weeks. ‘He was a real king who had the priest thrown into the river when he refused to reveal the content of the Queen’s confession. The priest drowned.’
‘Not so lucky for him then,’ said Steve, peering over the parapet of the bridge as if he expected to see the priest floating by. They watched one of the boats come out from under the bridge. ‘It’s quite a river. Wide. I wouldn’t mind going out on a boat next time.’
‘If you hadn’t booked tickets for the football, we would have done.’
‘Anna, give it a rest. Admit it, the football was worth coming to Prague for.’
‘What, and I wasn’t?’
He slid an arm around her. ‘Of course you were. The game was an added bonus.’
Anna forced a smile. The game had been a very long ninety minutes in which they’d had to keep very quiet when England scored because they were seated at the wrong end. Dinner had been a snatched doner kebab from outside the tram stop. The evening had fallen a long way short of the romantic date night she’d planned.
While Steve was squinting back down at his phone, Anna’s attention was caught by a couple further along the bridge by another statue. Her interest piqued no end when he dropped to one knee. The woman’s face was a picture of bright shock and happiness that brought an instant smile to Anna’s face. She watched them, her own heart expanding for them, as he rose to his feet and she threw her arms around him. They embraced, talking excitedly to one another, their bubbling enthusiasm almost palpable. Anna’s smile widened and the man glanced over and caught her eye. She grinned at him, responding to the delight glowing from his face, and put her thumbs up before nudging Steve in the ribs. Glued to his phone, he was oblivious and grunted, ‘What?’
The newly engaged man held up his phone and gestured to Anna. ‘Would you mind taking a picture of us?’
She smiled at his strong accent and, delighted to be asked, walked quickly towards them to take the proffered mobile.
‘I’d love to and many congratulations. You from Ireland?’ She squinted at his face, recognition glimmering.
‘Yes, from Kerry.’
Then it clicked. ‘You’re Connor Byrne, the chef?’
‘I used to be,’ he said with a grin. ‘I’m plain aul’ Connor Byrne these days and this is my beautiful bride-to-be, Hannah.’ He beamed proudly at Anna while Hannah rolled her eyes with a good-natured but nonetheless sparkly grin. ‘He’s the romantic.’ Despite her words, she shot him a look full of love that made Anna’s heart ache just a little.
Steve, who’d followed her blindly, still engrossed in the screen of his phone, barely glanced up.
‘That’s lovely. I hope you’ll be very happy,’ said Anna, feeling oddly tearful on their behalf. They did indeed both look happy. Like a sunbeam slicing through dark clouds, a memory lit up in her head – of her and Leo standing on the steps of Chelsea Register office, bursting with bright hope for everything in front of them, and feeling then that it was all within their grasp. Something squeezed in her chest like an accordion and she wished she could turn the clock back to that time, when there were still so many possibilities, when the future was the sunrise of a new day. When she’d been crazy in love with Leo.
Sharp pain gripped her heart, binding it tight with regret and sorrow. She sucked in a quick breath.
That had been the problem – she’d been so in love with him it had scared her. Once they were married, the fear that she couldn’t hold on to him had grown week by week. Especially when Savannah Aitken, with her perfect figure, girlish laugh and long-hair-tossing charm, came along. Losing him like she’d lost her parents would be terrible. And yet she’d lost him, anyway. Because she’d tried to insure herself against the loss before it even happened.
She had been the one that had given up and walked away because she knew he would fall out of love with her. Because, according to everything she’d ever been told, love like that didn’t really exist. Her aunt always spoke of her parents in a slightly syrupy tone, sympathetic while intimating that their ‘sweet’ relationship would never have survived long-term.
‘Do you fancy a beer?’ Steve’s voice intruded her thoughts.
Anna stared at him. She’d been so lost in her memories she’d almost forgotten he was there.
‘What?’ she asked, a little bemused. She knew she shouldn’t but she studied him, comparing him to Leo. Steve was sturdy, dependable, a palette of taupes, beiges and mushrooms. Leo was a sunburst, bringing light into the darkest corners. Something uncomfortable settled in the pit of her stomach, heavy with the weight of disquiet.
‘Beer? Lunch? There’s an Irish bar near the square.’ He was already tugging at her to turn her around and head back towards the Old Town.
‘We can’t drink Guinness in Prague,’ said Anna with mock horror. ‘It’s sacrilege.’ Though she was only half joking.
‘It’s a sports bar, we can catch the second half of the Liverpool game.’ Steve shot her a winning smile.
‘Or we could walk up to the castle and have a beer up there,’ replied Anna. ‘There’s a fantastic view over the city.’
Steve pulled a face. ‘Do we have to? I’d really like to see the Liverpool game.’
‘And I’d really like to eat at Kuchyň,’ said Anna, the forced smile in her eyes hiding her irritation.
She saw the set of his jaw and lifted her chin.
‘Or we could go and watch the game.’
Anna shook her head. ‘You can watch the game anytime.’
‘Come on, it’s Liverpool. We can go to your restaurant next time I come over.’
Suddenly Anna couldn’t be bothered to argue the toss. It was a watershed moment. She really didn’t care where they went because either way it was suddenly very obvious to her that both of them wanted very different things.
* * *
When the final whistle of the game blew and the pub erupted with a cheer, Steve was immediately embroiled in the post-match breakdown with his immediate neighbours, two brothers from the Wirral, and Anna had made up her mind. She surreptitiously checked her watch. Before he left for his flight, there would be a brief window of time when they were back at the apartment and she could sit down and talk to him. All she had to do was work out the phrasing in her head for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ conversation they were going to have to have.
As they opened the front door of the apartment a gale of laughter came from upstairs.
‘Looks like someone’s entertaining,’ muttered Steve. ‘You still need to think about moving out, you know. I’ve never liked the idea of you sharing the place with that guy. He’s a bit of a tosser.’
Surprised by his belligerence, she should have pointed out that in fact it was the first time Leo had invited anyone over. Instead she asked, ‘What makes you say that?’ She genuinely wanted to know. Leo had never fitted in with her family nor, it appeared, with Steve. Why was that?
‘You know,’ said Steve with a vague flutter of his hands as they went into her bedroom.
‘No, I don’t.’ She put down her handbag on the bed and turned to face Steve who’d stuck his chin out in a familiar truculent stance.
‘He’s the sort that thinks he’s better than anyone else.’
‘Again,’ said Anna with a smile on her face, trying to defuse his unwarranted antagonism, ‘what makes you say that? Come on, what’s he done to you? He’s harmless.’
Steve shook his head. ‘I dunno. I don’t like him. And he’s too familiar with you, as if he knows you. I don’t like it.’
‘You’re being silly. He’s just a friendly guy.’ Even to her own ears, Anna’s words sounded false and over-bright as her heart did a funny pitter-patter. Leo and she had fallen into easy familiarity. Cooking and eating together. Chatting in the doorway of the bathroom while she waited for him to clean his teeth. Walking to the tram stop together every morning.
‘There’s something about him, like he knows something the rest of us don’t. When he smiles, I can see it. Like there’s a secret joke going on.’
Anna turned away, feeling hot all of a sudden and dreading the conversation that they were about to have. She had a feeling Steve was going to get nasty and bring Leo into it.
‘And he swaggers around this place as if he owns it.’
She tried a small laugh, still with her back to him, going through her handbag as if she were looking for something. ‘He does lives here.’
‘It’s like he thinks he’s God’s gift. Like he expects everyone to be pleased to see him. Like he’s something special. I dunno.’ Steve lifted his shoulders in an aggrieved shrug.
‘He’s not one of the lads,’ she said, feeling the need to defend Leo out of a sense of fairness. Leo didn’t fit Steve’s conservative, traditional worldview of how a man should be. The worldview held by her adopted family. They’d always found Leo’s differences objectionable and she’d undeniably let that influence her. She’d grown up with the same narrow, risk-averse, conservative values and had remoulded herself to fit in with the family.
‘Actually Steve…’ Before she could finish, he spoke over her.
‘I fancy a cup of tea. Last chance to get a decent one before I get home. And I’ll stick this in the fridge, you can never be too careful with sandwiches.’ He was already heading for the stairs carrying the bag of supplies he’d bought on the way back because, as he’d said a dozen times, ‘They always charge a ridiculous amount for food at the airport and on the plane.’
Coward that she was, Anna nodded and followed him up the stairs. Another five minutes wasn’t going to make that much difference to what she had to say.