Chapter 5
It was Saturday morning, and Helena lay awake staring at the ceiling.
Only two days had passed, yet her entire future had altered. She had gone from being engaged with her wedding only weeks away, to discovering her fiancé's deception, to once again finding herself an unmarried woman of twenty-four. She was angry.
Angry at Lord Ravenscroft for deceiving her so completely, and angrier still with herself for accepting the careful performance he had maintained throughout their engagement.
Looking back, she wondered how many conversations had been rehearsed, how many thoughtful gestures had merely been calculated, and whether there had ever been a moment when she had truly known the gentleman she had intended to marry.
Tears gathered in her eyes, born more from wounded pride than sorrow. Strange as it seemed, she found herself grateful that her heart had escaped what her judgement had not. Their engagement had never been founded upon love, and she thanked Heaven for it.
Drawing a slow breath, Helena pushed herself upright and reached for the glass of water beside her bed. She had only just taken a sip when a knock sounded at the door.
Mary opened it only a little.
"She will not mind, I assure you!" Charlotte's cheerful voice carried into the room before Helena caught sight of her.
Mary looked apologetic. "Good morning, ma'am. My apologies, but Lady Pembroke insisted upon seeing you, even after I explained that you were still in your chambers."
Helena smiled despite herself. "Never mind, Mary. Let her in."
Charlotte swept into the room and seated herself upon the edge of Helena's bed as comfortably as though it were a settee in a morning parlor.
"I simply had to see you," she declared. "I could not possibly wait until after my morning walk."
"You are most welcome," Helena replied with a laugh. "Though I must apologize for receiving you here. I fear I have never possessed your enthusiasm for early mornings."
"I suspected as much." Charlotte smiled warmly. "How are you? I wished to call yesterday," she continued, "but after Lord Ravenscroft's ball I developed the most dreadful headache."
"You did drink rather more of the punch than was advisable." Helena smiled.
"I refuse to accept that the two are connected." Charlotte raised her chin, even though her eyes twinkled.
Helena laughed again, though the amusement quickly faded. "I am angry, Charlotte. I am furious with Lord Ravenscroft... and with myself." She lowered her eyes to the glass in her hands. "I imagine you have heard every imaginable version of my broken engagement by now."
"My dear," Charlotte said with an exasperated sigh, "all of London has heard of it. Lord Ravenscroft appears determined to ensure he is the injured party before anyone thinks to ask for your account."
She reached toward her friend and rested her hand lightly over Helena's free hand. "But I would much rather hear the truth."
Helena reached toward the bedside table, where the small volume Lord Ravenscroft had lent her still rested, and after setting her glass down, retrieved the volume. "He wished me to read this."
Charlotte glanced at the title. "A wedding gift?"
Helena smiled without amusement. "A lesson.
" She opened the book and turned several pages before finding the passage she wished to read.
"'...she sought rather to please than to shine.
'" She looked up. "There was another which declared that female excellence was best displayed in the private duties of domestic life. "
Charlotte stared at the book in disbelief. "He gave you that with your wedding so near?" She slowly shook her head. "It is rather revealing, is it not? He expected you to study it before becoming his wife."
"I daresay he did." Helena closed the book and rested it upon her lap. "I knew ours was to be a marriage of sense rather than romance, but it appears he desired simply a wife, not me as his wife." She paused. "But that was not why I ended the engagement."
Charlotte waited patiently.
"When I went to retrieve the book from his study during the ball, his butler was called away for a few moments, and I was left alone." Her fingers tightened slightly around the cover. "There was a letter lying upon the desk addressed to 'My Dearest.' Naturally, I believed it was intended for me."
Charlotte's expression altered. "It was not?"
Helena shook her head. "It spoke of moments we had never shared together. There was affection in every line... the sort of affection that could only be written to a woman he was attached to. He even alluded to a kiss."
Charlotte drew in a slow breath.
"I replaced it exactly where I had found it, but there could be no misunderstanding." Helena looked at her friend. "I could not marry him after that. Whatever explanation he might offer, I could never again trust his word."
"Good." Charlotte's answer came without hesitation. "I am relieved you ended it."
Helena looked at her with surprise.
"I always felt there was something... performed about him," Charlotte continued thoughtfully.
"His smiles never quite reached his eyes.
" She shrugged. "My late husband remarked upon it once after a card party.
He said Lord Ravenscroft possessed the curious ability to appear perfectly sincere while revealing very little of himself. "
Helena frowned. "Why did you never tell me?"
"Because I had nothing more substantial than a feeling." Charlotte gave an apologetic smile. "Had I possessed even the smallest piece of evidence, I should have spoken immediately. Instead, I convinced myself I was imagining it." She squeezed Helena's hand. "I only wish I had been mistaken."
After a moment Charlotte asked, "Are you still attending Lady Winthrop's this afternoon?"
"I am, although I will confess, I am not looking forward to it." Helena sighed. "And tomorrow's church service fills me with even greater dread. I feel as though every eye in the congregation will be fixed upon me."
"They probably will," Charlotte admitted candidly.
"But it would look far worse were you to absent yourself.
But, you shall not face it alone." She smiled warmly.
"I shall attend with you. Indeed, I intend to stand beside you at every assembly, musicale, dinner, and ball we attend for the remainder of the Season. "
“What would I do without you, Charlotte?” Helena expressed her gratitude with a small laugh.
"And I suspect the Wycliffe family will likely do precisely the same." Charlotte then added with a thoughtful look that did little to hide her playfulness, “Especially Lord Blackmere.
Helena laughed, “Charlotte!”
Charlotte rose from the bed smiling and smoothed the skirts of her gown. "I really ought to allow you to dress."
"You had better," Helena replied with amusement. "Otherwise, Mama shall accuse you of keeping me from breakfast."
She walked toward the door before pausing. "Oh, and wear the lavender gown this afternoon."
"The lavender?" Helena asked.
"Certainly." Charlotte smiled mischievously. "If society insists upon making a spectacle of you, you may as well give them something beautiful to admire."
Helena laughed for what felt like the first sincere time since leaving Lord Ravenscroft's ball. "I believe," she said, "that I shall."
It was at breakfast that Helena first learned the extent of what Lord Ravenscroft had already set in motion. Lady Fairchild seemed unusually thoughtful as she stirred her tea. At last, she looked across the table.
"My dear... are you quite certain you did not misunderstand the letter?"
Helena looked up in surprise. "What do you mean, Mama?"
"I encountered Lady Ashford and Mrs. Sutton upon the promenade yesterday afternoon." Lady Fairchild hesitated before continuing. "They repeated what Lord Ravenscroft has been telling people."
Helena laid down her butter knife. "And what, precisely, has he been telling society?"
Lady Fairchild sighed.
"He claims his butler discovered you in his study reading his private correspondence.
According to his account, he had been writing to a female relation and had inadvertently left the unfinished letter upon his desk.
He believes you read it, mistook its meaning, and from that unfortunate misunderstanding concluded that he had been unfaithful.
" She frowned. "But you told me his butler escorted you to the study in the first place. "
"He did." Helena reached for her teacup before setting it down again without taking a sip. "Is that all he has said?"
"I'm afraid not." Lady Fairchild folded her hands.
"He has also told people that, upon receiving your note, he was utterly heartbroken and spent hours trying to discover what could possibly have caused you to doubt his character.
It was only afterward, when he returned to his study, that he noticed the letter upon his desk and realized you must have seen it.
It was then that his butler supposedly confirmed he had found you in there. "
A humorless smile crossed Helena's face. "That is rather clever."
Lady Fairchild regarded her anxiously. "Clever?"
"It contains enough truth to make every lie appear believable.
" She leaned back in her chair. "Yes, I was in his study. Yes, I read the letter. But he neglects to mention that his own butler took me there, believing the book Lord Ravenscroft wished me to borrow had been left upon his desk. Nor does he mention what the letter spoke of.”
Lady Fairchild nodded slowly.
"I assure you, Mama, I could not possibly have misunderstood what I read." Helena's voice remained calm, though there was unmistakable conviction behind it.
"The letter spoke of an afternoon caught in the rain beneath an oak tree, and alluded to a kiss he confessed he found himself thinking of more often than he ought.
If Lord Ravenscroft truly wishes society to believe he writes such letters to a female relation, then I fear that explanation reflects even more poorly upon his judgement. "