Chapter 46 – Vale
Chapter 46
VALE
F rom my tower window, I watched Caelo trudge toward the castle as Neve resumed practicing magic.
My stomach twisted as, for a second time, she raised a funnel of swirling snow, this time to double her height before losing control. The funnel exploded over her and Clemencia, prompting laughter.
My wife was a Falk, working winter magic. Not with much luck, but it was obvious that despite her lack of refined motion, the magic flowed from her. For a beginner, that meant quite a lot. Particularly after how much of her power poured from her last night. And as she laughed, she seemed in good spirits. Learning was always easier with that sort of attitude.
I could help her, though.
The thought came unbidden and unwanted, and I shoved it into the recesses of my mind.
Technically, yes. I possessed the skills and knowledge to help. But after how I’d acted, would she even want my help?
Would she wish to speak with me ever again?
I turned away from the window, intent on downing a glass of ale. A servant had made sure to supply me with drink through the night and into the morning. That had never been more apparent than when I took one step and stumbled over my own feet.
Bleeding skies, I hated this world.
Hated how things were turning out.
Why didn’t Lord Riis keep his secret? I could have lived my whole life not knowing the truth, even if knowing it made so many things click into place.
Like how my twin and I never wielded winter magic as well as Saga. Certainly not like Father either. How we alone of the Aabergs had dark eyes—a feature everyone attributed to House Vagle, though the hue was uncommon there too. No, those eyes came from Lord Riis.
Most of all, it explained why Lord Riis, out of every noble in the kingdom, made it a point to come to Frostveil often. How he’d sought me and Rhistel out as younglings, given us toys, and played with us. How when he’d had Luccan, and then his other children, he’d brought them to the palace too.
He’d always been there in our lives, a quiet spectator. As involved as it was safe to be. His dark brown eyes always followed us, had always crinkled at the corners when either Rhistel or I made mischief.
It wasn’t that he was dear friends with our mother, but that he still loved her—that he always had .
He’d said as much to me last night. Said that he’d often joined his mother, an ambitious faerie born of the merchant class, when she attended my grandmother, Lady Eliana Vagle in Staghorn Castle. In those visits as a young male, Lord Riis fell in love with my mother. They were each other’s firsts for everything, and said that, while he’d had many other lovers, none stole his heart.
He claimed to love Rhistel and me too, so much so that it hurt him to have to stay away. He’d managed only because it was what was safest for our mother and for us.
As much as I hated him for shattering my life, erasing every sense of self I’d cultivated over the turns, I understood a female stealing one’s heart and claiming it for her own. A male would do many things for that one special female—even have a long-lasting affair under the king’s nose.
I poured another glass of ale, downed it, and groaned. The stars knew I’d regret every drink I’d had thus far, but I couldn’t stop myself. Drink was the only thing that numbed the pain and the reality of my life, or what I’d thought had been my life.
A knock came at the door.
“Come in,” I called, hoping it was the servant who had been checking in hourly. Perhaps with my normal order of ale, I’d get food this time. That might save me some pain later.
Instead of the servant, however, Caelo appeared. When he saw me, he frowned and poked his head into the hallway.
“Water and bread only ,” he said to someone—the old servant, most likely. “And don’t bring him more ale. No matter what he threatens. I’ll fight him if necessary. Judging by the state of him, I’d easily win.”
A soft ‘eep’ sounded from the hallway and then footsteps as the servant left.
Caelo entered my room, bright blue eyes taking me in with concern.
“You scared my servant away.” I frowned. “I want more ale.”
“No more than your face probably scared them.” Caelo snorted. “You look awful. The last thing you need is more ale.”
Fists tightening, I stalked over to a chair by the fire, which I had not had the will to light, and slumped down. The chair creaked under my weight, old but well-made and sturdy.
“You yelled at Lord Riis last night,” Caelo said and joined me.
“What did you hear?” My eyes narrowed. I hadn’t considered that anyone would overhear me railing against Lord Riis after he told me his secret. My mother’s secret.
Now my secret.
“General sounds of anger. The door has a muffling enchantment on it, but we knew there was yelling. And he left before anyone could question him today. Care to tell me why?”
“Why did you speak with Neve?” I asked, deflecting.
He snorted. “You’ve been watching her the whole time, haven’t you?”
I didn’t answer .
Caelo snorted. “She asked about you.”
My gaze lifted from where it had dropped to the floor. “She did?”
“Yes.” Caelo sat forward and stared me in the eyes. “You should go talk to her.”
“She’s a Falk, Caelo.”
“Most everyone in the Tower heard. And yet, you’re the only one avoiding her. Avoiding all of us.”
“I’m not avoiding everyone. I let you in here, didn’t I?”
“I didn’t give you a chance to deny me.”
“Good thing too. You’re quite obnoxious.”
“That’s why you love me.”
A single laugh tripped out of my lips, surprising even me.
“There we go!” Caelo said with a grin. “You need to come out of this funk.”
“You say that like it’s easy to learn that the female you’re married to is a Falk—a member of the house that my own house exterminated like rats. An enemy.”
“To whom, though?” Caelo arched an eyebrow.
“What?”
“Whose enemy is she?”
I swallowed, understanding, though it resonated as a betrayal to my father, or the fae who had raised me as his son and who I still thought of as my father. Truths aside, those feelings hadn’t evaporated overnight.
“The king despised the Falks, and I guess he had a good reason, but why would you hate Neve? She was only a baby when the rebellion ended.” Caelo shook his head. “I understand you want your father to be proud of you, but there’s nothing noble about despising someone who couldn’t even dress herself when you took the crown. She should not pay for the faults of her father.”
“I agree, but he would hate her for her bloodline. He already hates her for what she’s done.”
My friend scowled. “If he knew what she’d gone through, he’d be awed.”
Though Father would never love Neve, had he heard her story before he’d met her and the events of the Courting Festival transpired, he would have been impressed. She’d escaped slavery and shown great ingenuity and bravery to get what she wanted.
But once he learned of her bloodline, he still would have fed her to the White Bear. Or worse.
“I’m awed,” I admitted.
“Brother, you’re not awed. You’re in love.”
I cringed. Was I so transparent?
“Everyone sees it,” Caelo added, as if he were a mind reader. “You’re disgusted with yourself because . . . Well, yes, we’ve all worked out the relationship, but”—he shrugged—“you didn’t know. No one blames you for it.”
I stood, and, never missing a beat, Caelo did too.
“I’m not good enough for her.”
“Ah, I disagree. Though I understand not pursuing a relationship now, even if that was what you once wanted.”
I exhaled, long and low.
“Still want, then?” Caelo let out a thoughtful hum.
“It’s quite annoying that you keep speculating about my feelings.”
“I’ve known you for over twenty turns and even if I had not, you’re wearing them on your face, Vale.” He paused. “Is something else wrong? Am I misreading this situation?”
“No,” I admitted because the truth was, even when I’d thought that Neve and I were cousins, I still loved her. Contemplating how I’d turn that love off had been painful, but now I faced another problem—a bigger one.
“What else is wrong?” Caelo came up beside me and only then did I realize that I’d gravitated to the window once more, to where she’d been. She was still practicing magic.
“You can tell me anything, Vale.”
Stars, I wanted to. I’d dealt with my burden all night, and I’d considered telling three people: my brother, Neve, and my best friend. Somehow, it was easiest to envision telling Caelo. And yet, I would need his word. A solemn vow.
“I have a secret that would change the fates of kingdoms.” I looked at my friend. “I do want to tell you, but only if you do not tell anyone else. Should this information get out, it will be from my lips only.”
Of every other soul in the world, Rhistel deserved the truth too, but all night long I’d wrestled with telling him. Far more than I’d wrestled with telling Caelo. I still was not certain that I would tell my twin.
“You wish for me to make an eiera?” Caelo asked.
“I do.”
“Of course I will,” Caelo replied, looking slightly wounded. “Though I hope you believe that, even without one, I would never tell a secret of yours to another soul. ”
I did believe such a thing. Him, I trusted to the ends of this world, I always had been able to, even when the darkness loomed, so all-encompassing. And yet, I was so insecure with my new identity that I still required this shield.
“On the spark of your parents’ souls in the afterlife.” I extended my palm. “Swear you will say nothing, or their spark be put out.”
Caelo sucked in a breath at the harsh demand but did not hesitate to clasp my forearm at the elbow with his hand, and I squeezed his forearm in return. “Vale, I swear on my parents’ souls, on their eternal spark dining and drinking in the great long halls of the stars, that whatever you tell me will remain a secret.”
An exhale parted my lips. I already felt lighter.
“I am not who you think I am.” I paused, the next words battling their way up my throat. “I’m not Vale Trahal of House Aaberg, but Vale Trahal of House Riis.”
Caelo’s mouth fell open. “Lord Riis is . . .”
“My birth father.”
“Bleeding skies,” Caelo swore. “Now that is one thing I would have never expected to come out of your mouth.”
“Never something I expected to hear, either.”
“He told you last night, didn’t he? Hence the yelling?”
“He thought it might help with Neve, because apparently everyone can see I love her. Even if I haven’t told her myself.”
Caelo chuckled dryly. “I’ve dragged my feet on such a matter before.” Eyes wide, he clapped a hand on my shoulder. “But I have to say, there is one beacon of light here. ”
“What’s that?”
“If you wish, you can be with her now and not feel disgusted.” He cocked his head. “And, to be honest, I’m a bit relieved that the king is not your father.”
My eyebrows flew up. “What do you mean?”
Caelo dropped his arm. “The king is a bastard, literally and in every other way possible, Vale. You have always loved him, and sometimes he can be halfway decent, but of late? He’s become harder, crueler. I heard what he did to Sir Qildor, and I doubt you have forgotten it.”
I’d never be able to forget that day, and I knew what Caelo meant. I recognized how my father was changing as winter grew stronger, as his grip on the kingdom weakened.
“I’m not saying you should not love him. I’d never say such a thing,” Caelo added. “But knowing you do not have a blood tie could help you stand up to him in ways you have not before. Ways that can be seen in the light, and not only in the shadows.”
Not by using the cabal. That’s what he meant. Our group endeavored to assist those that my father did not seem to care to help. Though we remained inactive since the Courting Festival began, a fact that haunted me, especially when I remembered the dead actors from the Royal Theater.
“It’s not like I don’t stand up to him, Caelo.”
“Not enough, though.”
My hand went to my heart. “Ouch.”
“Sometimes the truth hurts. But we need to hear it all the same.”