Chapter 48 – Neve
Chapter 48
NEVE
T he last game of nuchi was a terrible mistake.
After the first round of normal nuchi, Thantrel had decided to mix it up. That we should play drinking nuchi . By the time I drank my fifth glass of wine, I was certain Thantrel was simply making the rules up as we went along.
But I also didn’t care. For the first time since arriving at Riis Tower, we’d laughed and played like friends should. Like those stolen days at the castle when the king had been too furious to call any Courting Festival events. Days of sheer bliss.
The only people missing were Caelo and Vale—one of whom I wanted desperately to see.
And I had enough wine in me to where that felt like a pretty good idea. At my request, Clem had given him a room on the opposite side of Riis Tower from mine, and despite that extra distance around the circular tower, I didn’t question my choice. Not until I stood in front of his door, hand raised to knock.
“Stars, what am I doing?” I whispered.
It was late, after the hour of the aura owl. Vale was probably sleeping.
Even so, I’d come this far. Farther than I’d managed in days. Steeling myself, I let my hand fall, once, twice, three times. My nerves jolted with each knock echoing in the hallway, but I forced myself to stay in place. To not run like a coward.
I waited. And waited. A full minute passed, then two, and nothing happened. Was he really sleeping so hard?
No, I’d shared a bed with him. Unless he was drunk, Vale did not sleep that soundly.
Was he ignoring me?
My fingers itched to open the door, but I knocked twice more first and waited again. When he did not open the door, I turned the knob and peeked inside.
The room stared back at me, empty, the bed cold.
Where in all the nine kingdoms was he?
“Vale?” I called out in case he’d stepped into the adjoining bathroom.
No answer.
I shut the door and pressed my back against it, exhausted from the emotional journey I’d taken.
“But where is he?” I whispered.
I’d worked myself up to come here, to speak with him. Though terror wracked my bones over what he might say, I also didn’t want to give up.
Perhaps Caelo was awake? Maybe they were in the knight’s room drinking? That felt right, so I began making my way there but quickly ran into a servant.
She cocked her head ever so slightly, the only indication of her curiosity. “Are you lost, Princess Neve?”
“No, I was looking for Prince Vale. Is he with Sir Caelo?”
The servant swallowed. “No, Your Highness. He’s not.”
“Do you know where he is?” I noted how she wrung her hands.
“I do.”
“Where?”
“I showed him to another room. One he requested to see.”
“Take me.”
She pressed her lips together. “Are you sure? You two have been?—”
“ Now ,” I demanded, surprising myself with the force of my tone. I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. Please show me to the prince.”
She didn’t argue further, just waved for me to follow, so I did, down the corridor and up a set of steps. We climbed and climbed until there were no more stairs. We’d reached the top level of Riis Tower.
“Who’s up here?” I asked.
I’d been under the impression that no one slept on the highest level. Largely because it was far from the kitchens and the den where people liked to congregate.
“No one. The prince is . . . visiting.”
Visiting who ?
I stayed quiet until the servant led me to a door. It was ever so slightly ajar and even from the hallway, I could smell Vale’s scent—fallen snow and sandalwood that made my heart skip a beat. He was inside.
I dismissed the servant. Taking a deep inhale, I leaned into the door.
“Vale,” I called, sure that since the door had been open, he wouldn’t be asleep or in a compromising position, but not wishing to startle him. “It’s Neve.”
He didn’t respond, and unable to help myself, I pushed the door open enough to peek inside. I found his back to me as he looked out the window.
In the distance, a castle gleamed in the waning moon’s light. Staghorn Castle—the seat of his mother’s family.
“Vale? Are you well?”
His shoulders lowered, his dark semi-diaphanous wings pressed down his back, and still, he said nothing. His unusual actions set my heart racing, and I entered the room and went to him. Only when I stood right beside him did I realize he was crying.
My lips parted at the almost unfathomable sight. Vale Aaberg, the famed warrior. Strong and stoic and honorable. And there he stood, crying.
My stomach pitted. “ Vale? What’s wrong?”
He didn’t turn to me, nor did tears stop streaming down his face. Instead, he pointed out the window.
“Do you see those torches in the distance?”
“Of course I do.” Beyond the small clearing around Riis Tower, beyond the woods filled with evergreen trees, there was a black castle that flew a flag of green bearing a silver hart. I’d been told it was a short walk away, though I had not ventured that far. “Thantrel told me that it’s Staghorn Castle.”
“It is.” He inhaled deeply. “That’s where my mother grew up. Where she lived until she married.”
I waited. This was common knowledge. What was Vale getting at?
“You can’t see it in the dark, but I know which tower her room was in. In the daylight, she would have been able to see Riis Tower.” His shoulders slumped. “I wonder, if all that time, she was thinking of him, just as he thought of her. If she still is.”
My lips parted. “I don’t understand?—”
He spun and gestured to the room. “Lord Riis grew up in this room.”
“Oh,” I replied, still not understanding, but taking in the room all the same. The bed was on the small side, the furs atop older, and the room dustier than the others I’d seen, which made sense as no one came up here. Otherwise, the space was tidy but unlived in. “You wanted to see the castle?”
“I wanted to see this room.” He swallowed and his gaze fell to the floor. “M-my father’s room.”
I stiffened. “Your father is King Magnus.”
“In duty, yes,” Vale replied. “It’s how Lord Riis could call him my father for so many turns. The king, the male I’ve always called father, believed he sired us. But he did not. Lord Riis did.”
I blinked once, twice, three times, working through the information .
Burning skies. Vale is not an Aaberg. My heart rate sped up.
He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “I’m a bastard, Neve.”
The initial spark of excitement that blazed through me fizzled. Poor Vale. He wasn’t thinking the same as me. Not at all. To him, his entire identity was being questioned, and as I walked a similar path, though in reverse, I could understand.
“You’re a Riis,” I whispered. “And you can also be an Aaberg too. If you want.” I paused. “I feel selfish for asking, but does this mean that you don’t completely despise me? That when you avoided me you were working out your own troubles? Not just what happened between us?”
“I never hated you,” he replied. “I felt betrayed and blindsided, but I never hated you.”
My primary worry cast aside, I blew out a breath and focused solely on him. “How did you find out?”
I doubted very much that Lord Riis would leave evidence. Should this news get out, get to King Magnus, there was no telling what he’d do. If he’d still love Vale and Rhistel as his own. If he’d disown them.
Perhaps he’d even have them killed.
My throat tightened. I tried to convince myself that the king would never harm a son who had loved him and tried to please his father, despite the many reasons not to. A son who followed through on his father’s wishes and then worked in secret with the cabal to right any wrongs the king might have ordered.
But even as I tried to convince myself the King of Winter would do no such thing, I’d never be able to say as much, because I could no longer lie. King Magnus would do anything to keep control of this kingdom, harm anyone, cast anyone aside.
My jaw tightened. But King Magnus would never hurt Vale. Not while I breathed.
“Lord Riis told me the truth,” Vale admitted. “He even spoke to my mother about it. He claims to have loved her all his life.”
“Still?”
“Still.” He met my gaze. His eyes were no longer watery but resigned. “I can’t say if Mother loves him, but they were together before Mother married my—the king. Rhistel and I were born prematurely, even for twins, though the king did not seem to realize—even then he was busy, planning for the rebellion to come.”
“Why would she do that? Did she not love your father at all?” I understood why Inga would feel repulsed by her husband now. He slept with concubines and any female who took his fancy. The start of a marriage, though, that was when people were on their best behavior.
“Their families arranged the marriage. Not a love match.” Vale shrugged. “Common enough amongst the noble houses—even those with little power.”
Yes, that made sense, but something else did not.
“Vale?”
“Yes?”
“You insinuate your mother knew right away that Lord Riis sired you?”
He paled. “I did.”
“So did your father call himself that and Queen Inga agreed to allow him to father you and Rhistel? And then when he acted as a father, she could call him one?”
Otherwise, it would be a lie, and fae could not lie.
Vale cleared his throat. “I have something else to tell you. Another secret. One that cannot leave this room. One that I should have told you much sooner.”
“I will keep any secret you give me,” I promised, touching my heart.
“Rhistel is not the only whisperer in the family. Mother is one too—hence, she can lie.”
I gaped. To have one whisperer in the family was dangerous. To have two? “Do the others in House Vagle know?”
Technically, like Rhistel, the queen should have been killed as a youngling.
“My grandfather does, and of course his wife did, though she is long gone to the afterworld. Uncle Eirwen is the only other to know, besides Father, Rhistel, and me.”
“Not Saga?” Then I recalled that Saga had told me, adamantly, that her mother was not a whisperer. “Oh, my stars, she doesn’t.”
“I only learned of Rhistel because he used his power on me,” Vale replied. “Mother assured me it would never happen again. That she’d teach him to act with honor.”
A lot of good that had done.
The information made so many things click into place. How only the queen disciplined Rhistel. She was the only one with the power to do so.
“Is she stronger than him?”
“Yes, and Mother has far more control too,” Vale assured me. “Please, say nothing. Rhistel is not a male of honor, but Mother has done no wrong, save for continuing to live. And revealing one of my loved ones might reveal the other.”
“I said I wouldn’t say a thing,” I assured him. “I meant it.”
I looked at the window where the lights of House Vagle, the great stags of the midlands, glowed. The noble houses had so many secrets. Inga’s powers and a relationship with a merchant were salacious, but those secrets were far from the only ones that the old stone castle guarded.
How romantic—the son of an up-and-coming merchant falling for the noble lady. Her falling for him too. If the tale hadn’t been crushing Vale, I would have enjoyed it far more.
“What about Saga?”
Vale shook his head. “What about her?”
“Lord Riis and your mother . . . not to be insensitive, but . . .”
Vale let out a humorless laugh. “Lord Riis traveled for two turns and Saga was born right in the middle of his journey. Also, when her hair is not pink, Saga strongly favors Father. She has stronger, more varied, winter magic than Rhistel and me too. I dare say that she is the king’s only legitimate heir.”
Imagine that. A kingdom in which Saga ruled and Rhistel did not would be a wondrous place indeed.
“I’d always wondered where my dark eyes came from,” Vale said. “The Falks generally had light eyes. The Vagles too, save for Calpurnia, but she clearly favors her mother’s coloring.”
I refrained from commenting that I had no idea who Calpurnia’s mother was as he let out a long breath. “Rhistel and I have brown eyes too. Mother always said an uncle looked like us, but now it’s much clearer where the coloring comes from.”
“Your build as well,” I breathed. “Aside from one other male in the western lands, Lord Riis is the only faerie who I’ve seen who is larger than you. Though Luccan is close.”
“That too.” For the first time, he gave a small smile. “I suppose that is something to be grateful for. I am one of the Riis brothers now. Already brothers in my heart, now they are in blood too.”
“I’m assuming that since Lord Riis has kept this secret for so long, he is leaving you the choice to share the news. Have you told Luccan, Thantrel, or Arie?”
The brothers had been acting normally, but I had to be certain.
“Leyv is letting me tell who I wish—if I wish to do so. And no, the Riis brothers have no idea. Only you and Caelo.”
Silence stretched between us, so poignant my heartbeats thundered in my ears. “Why did you tell me all this, Vale? We haven’t really spoken in days, and before, I was cold with you. Cruel even.”
“I understand why now.” He reached out and took my hand. “And isn’t it obvious why I want to share? I want you, Neve. I want you to know all about me, even that which I have not accepted yet. I want you to be my wife, in truth.”
My breath hitched.
“Not to mention, you shared a rather large secret as well.” Vale’s face loosened into familiar, happier lines. “You can’t be the only one with drama in our circle.”
I laughed. “I’d give it all to you if you want.”
“Oh, no. We’ll share.”
I lifted onto my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. Unlike our last kisses, this one was so very soft, hesitant in a way—as if we were getting to know one another.
The real Neve and Vale.
Or Isolde.
But no. I was not ready to bear that strange, regal name—wasn’t sure if I ever would be. Neve might have been the name given to me by slavers, but it was the only one I’d ever known. It would take time to think of myself in another way.
We broke apart, and I beamed up at him. “I wish to be with you Vale.”
He grinned, and like a faelight being ignited, all the sorrow he carried vanished.
My fingers slid into his, so comfortable against his skin. “I’m so glad you told me. You have no idea what was going through my head these last two days.”
His expression clouded. “I—had a lot to work through. Caelo helped, but I needed time alone.”
“And you’ve worked through it all?”
“No, but that might take quite a while. Perhaps I’ll never fully come to terms with it. But I still believe Lord Riis and know that I want you, Neve Falk . Or whomever you wish to be, I want you, no matter what trouble that might cause.”
I swallowed down the emotion climbing up my throat. “Be sure that it will cause trouble.”
“Whatever happens, we’ll work through it. You and me—together,” he said and kissed me again.