Chapter 5
When we finally kiss good night,
How I’ll hate going out in the storm;
But if you really hold me tight,
All the way home I’ll be warm.
The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we’re still good-bye-ing,
But as long as you love me so,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
I can’t help but grin as I slowly wake up.
I’m all warm and cozy, wrapped in soft and toasty bed sheets with my favorite heater in the world: Nicolas, pressed against me.
Frank Sinatra keeps crooning from my phone on the bedside table about letting it snow, and I smile against my boyfriend’s shoulder.
I’d set it to play songs from my Christmas playlist, but it chose well today!
“…I think I get it,” I whisper.
“Mh… What?” he grumbles.
“The lyric,” I explain as I perch on one elbow to look down at his adorably grouchy morning face. “We have to let it snow away, just like Emi told us last night. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”
Nicolas replies with a snore, and I chuckle. My boyfriend is many things, but a morning person he is not! So, I press a big kiss on his spiky cheek, and I let the music play on a loop, hoping it’ll wake him up while I sneak out of bed.
Alright, I have to admit I don’t have many memories of last night, but it was loads of fun!
After Antoine arrived, we ordered another round of drinks, and I indulged in one extra glass of champagne that tipped me over the edge…
but I don’t regret it! It was just enough to make me giddy until I got sleepy and Nicolas escorted me to our room, but certainly not enough to make me feel it today.
So, after a good shower and freshening myself up, I’m wide awake and glancing out the window; it’s still very, very early and dark, but I cannot miss the fresh, crisp blanket of white snow over Quebec City!
And as soon as my heart pinches at the idea that we already have to leave, I make myself a quiet promise: next year, I will be back, and I’ll get to the Christmas Market and do all those things I missed.
Sip hot cocoa, eat poutine, wander through stalls, buy my weight in nougat and souvenirs, and visit the Christmas store. And I will love it twice as much!
“What’s making you so happy?” Nicolas asks in a yawn, his arms coming to wrap around me.
“…It’s Christmas,” I whisper.
I see him blink away in the window reflection as he hugs me a bit tighter from behind.
“Right,” he says. “Merry Christmas, Ophelia.”
“Merry Christmas, Nicolas.”
I spin around in his arms, hugging his torso while his hands cradle my head, and because we do have a bit of height difference, my boyfriend leans over as I tip my head dramatically for that wonderful, Christmas morning kiss.
It’s sweet, and slow, and it tastes just like the late-night chocolates we sneaked in bed.
Nicolas’s lips are always so soft and gentle, treating me like the most precious thing in the world.
He starts a bit slow, and then he catches up, as if he gets greedier as we go.
In the end, it’s almost a game how we shift from tender kisses to intense, messy ones full of smiles and giggles.
“Honey, we need to get ready,” I squeal as I turn my head for him to playfully bite my cheek.
“Ten more seconds,” he groans, pressing another big, greedy kiss on my lips.
I chuckle, but I have to be the reasonable one!
“Come on, please?” I pout. “We really need to get there as soon as possible… and we’re going to need to get coffees for the road.”
He sighs, but nods, relenting.
It’s a five-hour drive from Quebec City to Portland, and while we’re hoping for empty Christmas morning roads, it’s still a long way to go!
So, while listening to my Christmas playlist in the background, we quickly finish getting ready and in no time at all, we’re checked out of the hotel, settled in the rental car, and on our way out of Quebec City.
It’s a long, long road ahead, but I’m so excited to see my family!
Nicolas and I let out a few yawns before he locates a Tim Hortons right outside of the city, and soon enough, we’re driving south with the largest mochas and some delicious sweet snacks lined up to keep us happy and fueled up.
Of course, it’s so early that we’re both a bit tired, so to keep ourselves busy and awake, Nicolas makes me listen to French Christmas songs and translates them for me.
I love them all, especially Tino Rossi’s “Petit Papa Noel,” which he tells me is a classic!
Once he’s out of suggestions, and we’re both a bit more awake, we quietly listen to one Christmas album after another by Michael Bublé, Leslie Odom Jr., and a Canadian singer named Garou with an incredibly deep voice!
I love car rides, and while this one is a bit long, it feels really special.
Plus, with the gorgeous sunrise that keeps us company, the sweet smell of mochas filling the car, and all the beautiful, snow-covered landscape on the way, this Christmas morning feels extra magical!
Once we cross the border, meaning we’re almost halfway there, I let out a heavy sigh of relief.
“Are you excited?” Nicolas asks. “About spending Christmas Day with your family?”
“I’m so excited,” I admit. “I mean, it makes me really happy that we’re trying hard and experiencing both Christmases this year, but… I think there’s something so special about seeing my nieces and nephews tear through their presents. It reminds me of Christmases when I was young.”
“What was it like?” he asks.
“We had so much fun,” I grin. “There were five of us, so there were always so many presents surrounding the Christmas tree, and we always bickered about which was ours, or dug into each other’s Christmas stockings to get the best stuff!
But what we loved most was spending time all together, with our parents.
It was the one time of the year when they closed the shop, and they were all ours for a couple of days.
Oh, and Mom accumulated an insane amount of Christmas decor, so it was just everywhere!
She usually spent the whole day cooking, so Dad would play so many games with us.
Our gram and gramps were there too when we were young.
Gram would read books to Jordan, Rosie, and me or teach us how to make paper garlands while Gramps taught my older brothers how to play his favorite games.
Oh, and we’d have a massive snowball fight every year! ”
“It sounds like a lot of fun,” he nodded.
“It was,” I smile. “Things are a bit different now. …It got a bit calmer after Gramps passed away, and then Gram. And then one Christmas, my oldest brother wasn’t there because he spent it with his fiancée, and Mom was a bit sad.
Another year, it was Jordan who was doing his year abroad and didn’t come back for the holidays. We’re all… growing up, I guess.”
And this year, I’m the absent one.
It’s a strange, sweet, and sour kind of feeling.
I don’t regret spending Christmas Eve with Nicolas and his family one bit.
Sure, Solange was a bit hard to handle, but we had a blast with Antoine and Emi.
Aside from the dessert disappointment, the restaurant was magical, the hotel was straight out of a Christmas movie, and the dinner was absolutely wonderful.
It’s not an experience everyone gets, and I would have hated to miss it!
But, if I’m honest for just a second, I also kind of can’t help but wonder what I missed from my family’s evening and how different it would have been if I had been there…
I got a few texts and pictures from my siblings, but it went radio silent after 10:00 p.m. I know that’s usually when everyone gets excited about playing games, and the phones are forgotten all around the house, but it still made me feel a bit lonesome and left out…
At least, I was pleasantly surprised when I got a selfie of Jordan and Rosie with the nieces and nephews this morning, obviously taken last night around a game of Exploding Kittens, with a “Merry Christmas!” GIF!
“How about you?” I ask. “Didn’t you miss your family the first time it was… different?”
Nicolas hums, pondering my question before he answers.
“…I don’t think my family was ever big on celebrations,” he explains.
“Our father was busy with the company, and Maman was adamant that we not bother him. We felt lucky when he was around for us, I suppose. His birthday was the biggest celebration we had. Maman liked to organize huge dinner parties with all his friends.”
“What about you and Antoine?”
“Oh, we had birthday parties as well,” he nodded.
“Maman loved organizing those. I was never one for crowds, but Antoine was always popular enough to have every child in our year coming. We were the twins whose birthday party everyone wanted to be invited to, because Maman always made them extra. One year, she booked an entire theater to play the Jurassic Park movies. That one was my favorite. Antoine always talks about the one when we had the go-karts, but I didn’t enjoy it all that much. ”
“Wow…” I gasp.
“I can’t recall a Christmas that was particularly special,” he frowned.
“There was one where we flew to Maman’s family in France, but it wasn’t all that memorable, except that she did a lot of shopping in the Galeries Lafayette.
Their Christmas decorations are always exquisite; you would love them. ”
“I can imagine,” I beam. “I always love seeing what malls do for Christmas! Oh, and those decorating shows they have on TV, where they take already amazing houses and turn them into winter wonderlands…”
“Is that what your dream Christmas is like?” he asked. “Curated Christmas decor, board games, and good food?”
“It’s a bit more than that,” I grin. “It’s more about the atmosphere, and the fun! I want a Christmas like in those Hallmark movies, where it’s not quite perfect, but it’s beautifully imperfect.”
Nicolas frowns, glancing at me.
“How so?” he asks.