41. Chapter 41
Kylie
The campfire crackles in the fireplace I set up in my garden.
It’s a beautiful spot facing the lake, far enough away from the house to not have to bother about getting smoke-scent inside.
This will probably be the last time this year I get to use my outdoor armchair, before tucking it safely under my porch roof for the winter.
Autumn is nearing its end, and for some reason I felt compelled to spend a bit more time with it. The golden hour sends a beautiful glow over the orange leaves and reflects sparkles across the water.
A car pulls into my driveway. I know who it is without needing to turn around. Who else would it be but Erik? Kieran, Lauren and Nic never bother to come here by car.
So I keep watching the water, take a sip of my hot chocolate, pull the blanket tighter around me and wait for him to come here.
“Hey, babe.”
I lift my face for a quick kiss. He grabs a chair from the other side of the fire and drags it over to take a seat beside me.
“How was your day?” I ask him. As soon as he sits, he leans down and carefully pulls my legs into his lap.
“Uneventful,” he mumbles and lets his hands glide up and down my calves and shins. “Logan called. The distant O’Brien relative from Scotland signed off on the bones being buried here with her husband.”
“That’s wonderful news.” I reach for his arm and take another sip of my hot chocolate. “You have to tell the others. I’m sure they’ll all want to be there.”
“Yeah.” Erik nods and starts massaging my calf. “I’ll tell them the next time I run into them.”
A comfortable silence settles, only disturbed by the fire crackling and the wind blowing through the branches and making them shed their dry leaves. Abby rolls up behind my chair, away from the fire.
I can watch Erik lose himself in his thoughts. His hands might still wander over my leg, but his mind is very, very far away. No wonder. These past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions I don’t envy him for.
His sister contacted him only a day later, and they set up a date for her to meet their aunt. He must be so nervous about it, even though there’s barely a reason to be.
But it’s the unknown. I get it.
When life is in uproar and many changes befall upon you, it’s scary. However, what’s even scarier is being alone with your thoughts and fears surrounding it.
So I pull my legs out of his lap, get up and place my almost empty mug on my now chair.
“Hey,” I whisper and stop right in front of him. He blinks. I wait for his attention, then climb into his lap sideways and sneak my arms around his neck.
“You’re thinking very loudly today.” I wipe a strand of hair out of his eyes. “Talk to me.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles and nudges my nose with his.
“I’m not trying to shut you out or anything.
I’m just…” He lets out a deep sigh. “Overwhelmed. Yeah, I think that’s the word.
” He closes his eyes as I run my fingers through his hair.
“And all the thinking is taking up so much of my mental space, I forget to talk.”
“That’s why I’m reminding you.” I lean my head against his shoulder.
Most importantly, he’s here. Even if he’s struggling to make sense of his own thoughts or emotions, he’s here. The realization sends waves of warm happiness through me so comforting they almost make me tear up.
“I keep wondering how my life will change since I’m now someone’s little brother,” he mumbles, pulling me closer.
“So far, it’s incredibly hard to tell. But also, I don’t know what to expect.
Will we even get along? What if we’re just on fundamentally different wavelengths?
And when do I even see her? Do we spend Christmas together? Thanksgiving?”
“Nic and Lauren invited us,” I let him know in a whisper.
A leaf blows over to us, and settles on his shoulder.
I pluck it off his jacket. “You know, if you don’t have any other plans.
It’s a big affair. Henry’s parents are going to be there too.
If your aunt wants to join, I’m sure there’s enough space. ”
“I’ll have to ask her.” He nods, his thumb drawing circles over my thigh. “But I can already tell you the prospect of getting to share all the cooking is enough for me to know she’ll be happy to join us.”
“Great.” I nudge my nose against his neck. “And if your sister wants to join, I’m sure we’ll find a chair for her, too.”
“I’ll let her know.” His chest vibrates with a chuckle. “Oh man.” His arms tighten around me. He’s biting the insides of his cheeks and not meeting my eyes. There’s something else he’s hiding. But I stop prying. If he wants to tell me, I’m sure he will.
“Kylie?”
“Mm-hm,” I hum.
“Can we talk?”
I tense. I’m not sure if I like where this is going. “Sure,” I say carefully and sit up a little straighter. “About what?”
“Relax. It’s only… so many things are up in the air, and I kind of want a little security about us.”
“What do you need from me?” I wriggle in his lap until I’m facing him, caging his thighs with mine. “You’re my boyfriend, right?” He nods. “Which makes me your girlfriend.” A smile tugs at his lips. “What else do you need more security about?”
“We’re both in this for the long haul, right?” His eyes dart from my mouth to my eyes. “Because I love you. I want this for the long haul.”
Oh wow. There’s something about the way he looks at me, the thick layer of emotion in his voice that make, or maybe I’m feeling sentimental. Whatever the reason, his words hit me like a freight train.
“I love you too,” I squeak and let my forehead fall to his shoulder. Thank God it was the positive kind of ‘can we talk?’
“But?” When I draw back, he raises his eyebrow in question.
“No buts.” I lift my fingertips to the crease between his eyebrows, smoothing it out. “A part of me keeps telling me you’re too good to be true and is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which logically I know is dumb.”
“Don’t worry.” His hands wander up my thighs until they come to rest on my ass. “I’ll remind you how dumb it is.”
“I appreciate it. Still, the voice might rear its ugly head sometimes. The downside to dating a divorcee. Just a warning.”
“There’s no downside.” One of his hands tangles with my hair and he pulls me down for a kiss. “Only upsides. As long as it’s you.”
“You’re such a sweet talker,” I mumble against his lips. “Does this answer your question?”
“It does. But I have one more question for you.”
“Hit me with it.”
His fingers run through my hair and I find myself leaning into the touch like a cat.
“Will you come visit my dad with me tomorrow? I have to tell him about Lilith, and I’d like to introduce you to him.”
Of course, it would be a lie to say I don’t feel a little apprehensive about visiting someone in jail. Ultimately, he seems like a guy trying his best who made a dumb decision, though. What a contrast compared to the criminals I usually read or hear about.
“I’d love to meet your dad,” I choke out and clear my throat.
“No, you don’t.” Erik chuckles before he kisses my temple.
“I so do.” I pout.
“You can tell him all about your little ghost roomie. He believes in that stuff.”
“You don’t?” I arch my eyebrows at him. “Because you seemed pretty convinced when my cupboard slammed closed on you.”
“I am open to the idea,” he declares with a chuckle. I’ll take it.
“No lies, Erik. I’m excited to meet him. And ask him about all the embarrassing things you did when you were a child.”
“Okay.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m sure half the prison knows those stories at this point.”
“Yay.” I giggle and nudge my face into the crook of his neck and take a deep breath. “Seriously though, I can’t wait.”