Chapter 5 #2
Nhuri’s heart pounded. She had walked away from one situation with her ex, so it shouldn’t be hard to walk away from another, right?
“I need time to think about it,” she murmured.
Ms. Thorsen nodded once, though her expression was unreadable. “Very well. Take this evening to think about it, and let me know your decision first thing in the morning.”
Nhuri stood on shaky legs. She needed more time than that but nodded instead of asking for more.
As she walked out of the office, her heart felt no lighter, and the weight on her shoulders was a ton heavier.
Whenever she felt like she was moving in the right direction, something or someone always pulled her back.
Again, she was at a crossroads with the curveball life threw her, and no matter the choice she made, there’d be consequences. There always was.
“I promise, that was the last store,” Natalia said, pulling out of the parking lot of Home Comforts.
The Black-owned furnishing store was one of her favorites; she had to take Nhuri inside.
They were in there for forty-five minutes, and somehow, Nhuri had been convinced to purchase a new console table for her entryway.
Leave it up to her sister to persuade her to buy something she didn’t necessarily need. At least it was cute.
Nhuri glanced up from her phone and smirked. “Yeah, okay. I thought you needed to go by the grocery store?”
Natalia sucked her teeth. “That is right. Are you cooking tomorrow? If so, we can do all of that in the morning. I’m exhausted.”
The fatigue in her voice was evident. Some days, she could get up and be on the go; others, she was completely drained before the day began.
They’d been ripping and running for the better half of the afternoon, and a nap was screaming Natalia’s name.
She flexed her stiff hand as she maneuvered through traffic.
“I’ll get them delivered,” Nhuri mumbled lowly, in her feelings.
Natalia glanced her way. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t say nothing when I can see it all over your face. We lie to one another now?”
Nhuri exhaled dramatically. “I just hate seeing you like this.”
Natalia simpered. “I know. But today was actually one of my good days.”
“But every day isn’t, and that’s what scares me the most. What if—”
“No. Let’s not do that, okay?”
“I’m just being realistic. Is it not something you think about?”
Natalia sighed. “All the time. That doesn’t mean I want to dwell on it. I try to cherish the good days as much as possible. We only get one life to live, sis. We can’t harp on the what-ifs.”
Nhuri should’ve felt relieved by her sister’s optimistic personality, but she wasn’t. “I wish I felt the same.”
“And why don’t you?”
“I don’t even want to tell you because I know you’ll be upset,” Nhuri said.
Natalia cut her eyes her way. “Yeah, maybe, but it depends. What’d you do?”
“Declined a two-month job assignment out of state.” Nhuri rushed her words as if to make them sound less jarring. That didn’t work.
“Why would you do that?” The curiosity in Natalia’s voice was so evident.
“I had to.”
“No, you didn’t.” Natalia shook her head. “Don’t tell me you declined it because of me.”
Nhuri’s silence was her answer.
“Nhuri,” Natalia grumbled her name with disappointment. “I’ll be fine. That could’ve landed you a great career. Something you’ve been talking about since you moved back.”
“I know, but two months out of state? No. I wasn’t taking that with everything you have going on. You and I both know that.”
Natalia scoffed. “Everything I have going on? You mean my chronic illness? The one I have been handling for the past three years? You can’t keep putting your life on hold for me.”
Nhuri’s jaws tightened. “That’s not fair. Don’t say it like that.”
“No, what’s unfair is you treating me like I’m helpless.” Natalia’s voice wavered with frustration, and she took a deep breath. “You know I appreciate everything that you do for me, but I didn’t ask you to give up on your goals to make sure I’m straight.”
“I know you didn’t ask, but can’t I just look out for you for once?” Nhuri took a deep breath, forcing her tears to stay put. She wasn’t trying to argue with her sister. “What was I supposed to do? Leave you by yourself? What about Raniya on the days when you can’t get out of bed?”
“I would’ve managed,” Natalia countered. “Like I always do. Like I’ve been doing. Plus, she has a father, and my friends help when I need them. I always work things out.”
Nhuri winced. She’d always viewed her sister as a fiercely independent woman, but that didn’t change how she felt. Nor did it stop her illness from crippling her some days.
“You shouldn’t have to manage things alone. I’m your sister.”
“Yes, you are. And I love you, but you can’t babysit me for the rest of your life.”
“That’s not—” Nhuri rubbed the spot between her brows. “I just want to be here for you and my niece, okay? Fuck the job assignment. I didn’t know fully what I was up against when I moved back home, but I’m here, and that’s that. You can be upset all you want, but whatever. I’m not going anywhere.”
Natalia’s tense shoulders loosened. “I don’t want you to be here for me like this.” Her voice softened, but the sadness in it hit Nhuri harder than frustration. “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t go after what you want in life.”
“You’re not, so stop saying that. You’re my sister. Anything concerning you matters to me. Whatever job position that’s meant to be mine will be. I’m not pressed for it, sis. I promise.”
“And I understand that fully, but you shouldn’t have had to choose.”
Nhuri grabbed her right hand and lightly squeezed it. “But I did, and I’m okay with my decision. I need you to be okay with it too.”
Natalia didn’t speak for a long moment. So much had changed since she was diagnosed with lupus.
Feeling as if she were a burden was the biggest hurdle she still struggled with.
Natalia wasn’t the type of woman who wanted sympathy, but she also wasn’t ungrateful.
She didn’t expect everyone to put their lives on hold for her, and she still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that people would.
The sisters’ parents passed away when they were in their early twenties, so they didn’t have many immediate family members that they were close to.
Their mother passed away first from sickness and their father four years later.
He hadn’t been sick at all, and the sisters assumed it was from heartbreak, which was a real tragedy when you lost the love of your life.
So, Natalia could be upset or feel a way, but Nhuri was here to stay. They were all they had.
Natalia squeezed her hand and glanced her way. “You better not regret it.”
“I won’t,” Nhuri said, smiling.
“So, what did they say when you declined the assignment?” Natalia asked.
Nhuri rolled her eyes. “She seemed so disappointed, but I know for a fact that if something happened to me today, and I could no longer work, my position would be posted online and filled by the end of the week or sooner.”
“True,” Natalia agreed, pursing her lips. “They’ll get over it.”
“Exactly.”
“Thank you for always thinking of me. I don’t know if I tell you enough, and I never want to seem unappreciative of all you do,” Natalia said, getting emotional.
“Please don’t start crying,” Nhuri pleaded, chuckling.
Natalia laughed. “Okay, okay. I won’t. But I’m serious. I kinda threw you into taking care of me in the midst of you dealing with a breakup.”
“I’d mentally left Dru long before I physically left him. So, please, hush. And stop telling me thank you. What the hell are little sisters for if I can’t get my way sometimes?”
Laughing, Natalia shook her head. “I’m glad you know it’s only half the time. I’m still big sis around here.”
Nhuri leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Yes, you are. And I love you so much.”
“I love you more. Now, run this grocery list down to me. I think I’m in the mood for some pot roast.”
While Nhuri had been stressed about declining her work assignment, everything had worked out. It had no choice but to because she stood firm on doing things that made sense in her life. She was no longer living to please others.