Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
CASS
“It’s not a walk of shame if you had a good time,” Jill said. She curled her legs under her in the nylon chair and leaned closer. “Who is he? Are you going to see him again?”
Cass, Libby, and their friend Rachel sat around the fire pit in Jill’s backyard in the late summer evening, sipping a now warm rosé and fishing out the dregs of potato chips from the bottom of the bag.
“No one you’ll see anytime soon,” Cass replied, truthfully. Ish.
Omissions weren’t lies.
“You should look happier if you’ve had orgasms,” Libby said, stoking the fire. “Unless he was shitty in bed and you didn’t have any.”
“No, that wasn’t an issue.” It would have been easier if it had been. He had answered her “it was good to see you, want to grab coffee?” text she’d sent the next morning with a “I’ll get back to you” hours later, then nothing else. She checked her phone again. Not like she’d reply if he’d finally said anything. “But I definitely won’t see him again.”
“If you like him and he makes you feel good, what’s the problem?” Rachel asked .
How about a hundred problems, starting with he only calls when he wants to get laid and ending with I chase after him like a dog in heat, topping it off with a healthy dollop of he might have screwed over my friend’s business.
Cass stayed silent and waited for the wine made its way to Jill’s tiny bladder, and Rachel followed her inside for more snacks. The moment the patio door closed behind them, Libby swivelled her head to Cass with narrowed eyes.
“You’ve been weird for days. What’s going on?”
Dang. She wasn’t getting out of this. Cass drew a fortifying breath.
“It was Nick,” she spewed out in a rush.
There. Done. Like ripping off a guilty little Band-Aid.
Libby paused with her glass halfway to her mouth. “Pardon?”
“I slept with Nick.” Cass sighed. “He’s back in town.”
“Oh, honey. No.” Libby mirrored Cass’s hunched posture and looked at her with imploring eyes. “Why do you do this to yourself?”
If she had the answer to that, she might be able to say no to him. She’d never been able to yet. Cass snuck a peek over her shoulder to make sure the coast was still clear. “Please don’t tell Jill.”
“Cass, don’t put me in this position …”
“Please,” she begged. “I swear that was the last time.”
Libby raised her eyebrows with the disbelief of someone who had heard that line way too many times to believe it. Cass didn’t blame her.
The patio doors swished open. Cass wiped the guilt from her face and gave Libby her please don’t say anything look. Libby just shook her head in resignation.
“So, where were we?” Jill folded herself back into her chair and refilled her wine. “Mystery guy was a one-time thing.”
Cass could feel Libby’s stare drilling a hole in her back. “In the past. ”
“You seem to bring up Josh a fair bit,” Rachel said, tossing another bag of chips onto the table. Her own new engagement ring flashed in the firelight.
First Jill. Now Rachel. These things always happened in threes. Someone had to be next.
“Actually,” Cass said carefully, rippling with embarrassment, “Josh has a theory.”
It sounded weirder every time she thought about it. She hadn’t gone on a date, a real date, since Nick had taken her out with Jill and Alex almost two years ago. As much of a blow to her romantic self-esteem as that night had been, she wouldn’t have traded it for anything. The friendship she’d grown to cherish with Jill, fitting her into her best friend circle with Libby, had been a joy. But she’d shied away from dating ever since.
Now, she was signing herself up for dozens of dates with the intent of not getting serious with any of them.
Rachel scoffed when Cass wrapped the spiel. “So this whole charade is to learn how to recognize fuckboys? You’ve been alive in this world for over thirty years and can’t do that yet?”
“No. She has shit taste in men and wouldn’t recognize a fuckboy if she fell face first onto his crotch,” Libby said blithely.
Rachel snorted rosé out her nose and Cass shrugged weakly. Her track record was tough to deny.
“Wait. So your kinda boss, the one you slept with, the one you are obviously still hot for, is ordering you to go on a bunch of dates?” Jill gave a bemused smile. “That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“That’s what I tried to say,” Libby grumbled.
“Why don’t you just date him?” Jill said, scooting over as Alex dropped beside her with a beer in hand. “You two seem to get along pretty well.”
Cass scoffed. “I’m not dating anyone on set. Workplace romance just leads to …”
Alex pinched Jill’s thigh. “Worked for me,” he said, taking a smug pull from his beer, and Libby cackled .
“You’re impossible,” Jill said, blushing.
Well, not everyone is as lucky as you.
Cass was trying to get over someone, not dive into something new. Just have some fun. Who knew? Even with the no second date rule, if she liked someone, there was no reason she couldn’t send them a chat when all this was done. She didn’t need a partner. She wanted one. Someone to share her adventures with.
“Weird or not, I’ve, um, already got a few dates planned.”
Libby shook her head. “Let the games begin.”
Date 1
Alright beautiful, how’d it go?
His profile said he was my age but could have been my dad or def a young uncle
Prob tried to text me from a rotary phone
Hehe you got catfished. That sucks
Date 2
Cass, checking in
Who was tonight’s tribute?
Tyler
Which should have been the first red flag
Every Tyler I’ve ever known has been juvenile
Literally or metaphorically? I don’t condone cradle robbing
EW !
Date 3
Is there any rule about having to stay for the whole thing?
Full permission to bail
Date 4
Report in
Not sure if he’s a general misogynist or just hates his ex with the literal fires of hell?
both?
Date 5
How many more of these do I have to do?
Oh, beautiful
You barely started
“He talked about tropical fish for two hours! Without a break!”
Cass shouldn’t have been surprised he didn’t ask her any questions about herself. She’d felt lucky to get out with splitting the bill on overcooked burgers and a boredom-induced migraine. When he said his mom couldn’t pick him up for an hour and asked if she could drive him home, her people-pleasing instincts overruled her self-preservation instincts and she drove to the out-of-the-way suburb well after dark.
Stupid.
Five dates in and their little experiment forcefully reminded her why she got off the apps in the first place: a sorry group of guys that could be categorized as Chads, Bads, and Wanna-Be- Dads. Not to mention the portfolio of pathetic dick pics that now polluted her DMs.
Besides her latest date with the tropical fish-o-phile, she had coffee with a guy who listed himself at thirty-five but was pushing fifty; beer with a guy who kept swiping other matches on his phone the whole time; lunch with a guy who talked about how much he missed and hated his ex; and one guy who was so mousy she couldn’t remember either his name or what he looked like. At least she hadn’t feared for her life.
“Ouch. Zero for five, then?” Josh grinned, his dimples on display. He laced his fingers behind his head, signature black graphic tee shirt snug over his lean torso. Lighting was still setting up for the next scene, with Libby’s booming voice ordering the grips around, and the rest of the crew was making a serious dent in the craft services table.
“I’ve learned more about cleaning fish tanks than I ever thought possible. If I ever need to change careers, I could get a job at the zoo,” Cass said. “I mean, I’m fine with weirdos. Just not a tropical fish obsessed type of weirdo.”
“So, what is your type?”
Hot, dark-haired, and a where-did-my-panties-go smile .
If she could woman up, she’d say he was her type. Even if it didn’t mean anything would happen between them anymore. But if she said that, it would lead to a series of jokes that would make him laugh as she blushed. And the last thing she needed was his smile wrapping around her like a trap. Those dimples had already lured her into bed once.
No, not lured. She’d tripped over her platform sneakers to jump in his bed.
“I think my type is my problem,” she said finally.
He swept his eyes over her and appeared to come to a decision. “Hand it over.”
“Hand what over?”
“Your phone. Unlock it.”
“Why do I already not like where this is going? ”
He held out his hand, curling his fingers in a give-it-here gesture. “Your first check up. Need to see what you’re swiping on.”
This was going to be the most embarrassing experience of her life. Way worse than the time her leotard split up her backside during a competition, and she’d had to keep dancing for a full forty-five seconds in front of a panel of judges with her butt crack hanging out. It felt like she was about to show more of her ass right now.
“No.” For good measure, she stuffed her phone into her cleavage and crossed her arms over her chest.
Josh’s face opened into a dangerous smile, his dimples deep enough to swallow her whole. If she was standing, she’d pat her hands over her butt to check if she had put on underwear that morning, but she sure as sugar wasn’t wearing any now.
“Do you really think hiding your phone in your tits will stop me? I will gladly go in to retrieve it if you don’t hand it over.”
“You wouldn’t! Not with everyone around?”
“Care to test what I’d do to you in public?”
Something deep in the recess of her lizard brain stood up straight and waved madly. The last thing she needed was his hands on her again, no matter how much she cared to test what he’d be willing to do to her in public. Instead, she fished it out, trying to hide her reddened cheeks. She swiped to the end of her phone’s screens before dropping it into his open hand.
“I’ve never been so jealous of a phone in my life,” he muttered. After a few seconds of scrolling, he looked up in dismay. “What the hell is this?” he asked, appalled. “This is your profile pic?”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“There’s another dude in it, for starters.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Who is he?”
She leaned over his shoulder, getting a whiff of the heady sandalwood and citrus scent that clung to his warm skin. She shook her head and focussed on studying the screen. “Oh, that’s Grady.”
“Grady.” He said the name like an epithet, and continued to scrutinize her photo. “Did you pull this photo from Instagram? You did! This is the Valencia filter! How old is this?”
“A few years.” She shifted between her feet. “I liked my hair in that picture.”
The sea air had done both wonders and nightmares for her hair. Libby had snapped the candid shot outside a shop on La Jolla beach years ago after a dance competition. Cass had turned at the last minute so her curls, still long at that time, bounced around her shoulder blades. Grady, her former dance partner, held her hand up to frame her. Sure, there were a few other people in the shot, but the palm trees had looked so pretty against the background of the setting sun.
The outfit was still one of her favourites. The second-hand vermillion fit-and-flare sundress swirled at her knees and gave serious vintage vibes. She’d altered the neckline to a sweetheart and added boning for shape to the bodice. It made her feel assertively feminine when she wore it. She could still wear heels back then, too, kicking up her foot to show off the three-inch rattan espadrilles.
Too bad half of her was hidden behind a mailbox in the photo. And her hair covered most of her face.
Okay, it was a bad picture.
“Men don’t have patience for profiles like this,” he said, frowning as he swiped through her photos. “I can’t see any of you.”
“Maybe I don’t want to show off everything right away?”
He side-eyed her and scanned her bio. “‘I like to have fun?’” Josh scoffed. “Everyone likes to have fun. What kind of fun? Crochet? Cliff diving? So vague.”
“I like crochet, but that wasn’t what I meant,” she said, squirming.
“How about … I make all my own clothes, so I know how to ta ke them off quickly?” he deadpanned, and pretended to type it in.
She looked at him, horrified, and made a half-hearted attempt to steal her phone back. “Don’t you dare!”
“You’re a gorgeous woman, and men are visual creatures. Let them see who you are,” he said. “With that hair and those curves and those lips? It worked on me.”
A wave of pleasure washed over her, but she whipped her head back and forth, checking who was in earshot. Seeing everyone otherwise occupied, she turned her widened eyes to him. “Josh!” she hissed through gritted teeth. “Keep it down!”
“All I’m saying is play to your strengths,” he said, clearly relishing her discomfort. “We need to up the game. I’m in charge of your swiping, and I’m rewriting your bio.”
“What if I don’t like it?”
“I think I know more about what will appeal to men. At least, from the state of this,” he said, wiggling her phone with the offending profile in front of her, “you don’t.”
His sexy dimples softened the landing of the teasing barb, and she turned her own wry grin to him. “Okay, but I can veto.”
“Of course.”
She wasn’t the least bit convinced by the look on his face.
“And you need new pictures.” He handed her back her phone. “Show me some good ones.”
Cass swiped through her camera roll. And swiped. And swiped. Her nieces. Blurry stills from the last wrap party. Her modelling a new dress pattern she was drafting, the half-basted pieces floating around her. “Um, I could just take a selfie?”
“I used to have a couple of your selfies, but you made me delete those.”
Before she’d deleted their texts, she’d pulled up the photos he’d sent her on more than a couple of occasions. When she was lying in bed, her vibrator between her thighs and imagining his thick length in her mouth and his hands in her hair.A flush crept farther up her cheeks, and it didn’t feel like embarrassment .
He twisted his mouth and tapped his finger on his knee. “There’s a break in shooting on Wednesday and I’m only on set in the morning. We’re doing a photo shoot that afternoon.”
“A what?” She’d spent loads of time singing and dancing for audiences, but posing for Josh sparked a frisson of electricity through her. Plus, her time in front of audiences had been years ago. Back when she could still move how she wanted.
“Photos. Wednesday,” he repeated. “And I’m pretty sure Stephen doesn’t need you on set that afternoon, either.”
She wasn’t needed that day, and it was not like she had other plans. Her friends would be at their normal nine-to-fives. Her day was wide open. Nothing else to do.“Okay.”
“Excellent, let’s start now.” He pulled her in close, and a just as he took the shot, closed his teeth around the shell of her ear. His breath was warm and minty on her neck, but she wiggled out of his grasp.
“There are people around!”
“You’re saying you’d have no problem with me doing that if we were alone?”
She scrambled to look at the photo over his shoulder. His smile looked perfectly evil, her eyes wide, and mouth popped open in surprise.
“What happened to being professional?” she demanded through clenched teeth, looking to see if anyone had seen while trying to quell the flutter under her ribs.
“What? I bite everyone. Ask around,” he said, setting the photo as his contact profile pic in her phone.
Maybe he did bite everyone. He’d sure bitten her. The nips he’d taken down her breasts and over her stomach stayed proof of their night together for days after. Heat flooded her with the memory, and a small streak of jealousy chased it.
Don’t go down that road. You know where it leads. Cass smoothed a wrinkle in her blouse. “I’m not sure I need to hear about all the people you bite.”
He paused for a moment, but ignored her comment, finally handing her back her phone. “I haven’t had a day off in a month. Pick a spot. Some place that captures who you are.”
Why was she agreeing to this? Why was she agreeing to any of this? She looked down at the blurry photo and plain bio. Maybe it would help to have some updated photos, some help with the text. She hadn’t had many matches, and the ones she’d had weren’t great.
Come to think of it, why had she swiped right on any of those guys? She knew she was supposed to give people a chance, but yikes.
And a photo shoot sounded like fun. Maybe. A little.
She shook her head and closed her eyes, which was becoming her signature move in any conversation with him. “Okay, let’s take some photos.”
Libby
Any winners?
Nope. 5 dates and 5 duds. One of the guys was at least 15 yrs older than he said. Thought he was going to ask for a seniors discount
Libby
Sugar daddy material?
Haha no
But Josh offered to help me update my profile. He’s writing my bio and take some photos
Jill
That’s so nice!
Right? My friend at Danceworks is letting us do a quick shoot in their studio after hours
Jill
What are you wearing?
A lack of options wasn’t her issue. She had racks of custom designed clothes she’d sewn to cast any mood that struck her fancy. She needed an outfit that said date me, but only once . Her hands skated over her dresses and stopped.
Not sure yet.
My black fit-and-flare dress and tights? Makes my boobs look good.
Libby
your boobs look good in everything :)
Thanks muffin
Jill
Is that all you two are doing?
Yep!
She glanced through her closet, undecided. Should she go sexy? Playful? Demure?
A man’s opinion would be helpful right about now.
Cass worried the corner of her lower lip with her teeth. Nick would have texted back everything looks good on you if he was feeling generous, or a generic fine if he wasn’t.
Well, no, that wasn’t true. If he wasn’t feeling generous, he wouldn’t text back at all.
Josh said to put her profile in his hands. He might have an opinion.
Knowing Josh, he’d definitely have an opinion.
Before she could change her mind, she snapped a photo and hit send.
What do you think?
Put them on. Show me.
A tingle rolled over her chest. He hadn’t seen these clothes on her before, so it made sense he’d want to see what they looked like on her and not on a hanger. It seemed so intimate, though. Inviting him into her bedroom, even by proxy. Especially after last time, sending photos back and forth as they jerked off together.
Not thinking about that. Right now, anyway.
She quickly cycled through the outfits, stripping and donning each of the options one after the other, sending Josh the pics one by one with the discard pile growing beside her in each subsequent shot, ending with the black dress.
Knew you could take your clothes off fast for me
Have you ever once turned your game off?
Black dress, no tights and add that silk scarf you wore last week
The scarf was a favourite, picked up at a warehouse sale years ago, a perfect match to her favourite lipstick. She’d barely been around him the day she wore the floaty red scarf on set. She was surprised he’d remembered.
Even in the privacy of her bedroom, her cheeks warmed. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who didn’t filter. Well, two could play. She angled the shot to capture the assets Libby had complimented and added,
You said to show off what I have
Won’t the scarf cover these? Someone once told me they were spectacular
I’m not taking photos of you in the dress, just want to see them again in perso n
She choked on her laugh. She could practically see his dimples popping through the text banter.
??? You are the worst??
Kidding
When a guy uses a line like that on you, he wants to get in your bed
Are you using a line on me, Josh Graham?
Aha. You recognized it
See? Inoculation works
Ew!
Well, that’s what happens when you ask for it , she thought, and shut the thread down with a grin. Throwing the black dress and scarf into her bag, she gave a last wistful glance at her curls mussed up from the rapid clothing changes.
So much for having a good hair picture on her Tinder profile.
Bring the crop top and jeans too
Huh. She didn’t see the crop top coming. Most people suggested clothes that covered her more, like just because she had a belly roll she should cover it.
She loved that top. It looked great on her. And not that it mattered, but it made her smile that he thought so, too.
Her phone buzzed one more time as she headed out her bedroom door.
Btw nice vibe
I can recommend a better model
No . Heat crept up her neck as she scanned the picture she’d sent. The bright pink vibrator with bunny ears sat perky on her nightstand. It might as well have winked at the camera.
Just some harmless flirting. As long as it didn’t follow them to set, there shouldn’t be a problem. And it was so easy to trade one-liners with him. She bit her lip and fired back,
A better model?
Nothing will make me get rid of Chauncy
CHAUNCY??
So much for professional distance.