Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CASS
“You might want to clean up before heading down,” Josh said, sweeping his gaze over her with a guarded smirk.
For the millionth time in her life, Cass wished for poker straight hair and a poker face to match. Something she could run her fingers through and whip up into a bun to look put together at a moment’s notice, instead of her curls telegraphing she’d just gotten laid when, well, she’d just gotten laid.
Whether or not her clothes were on.
“Do I look that bad?”
Josh looked completely unruffled, his hair put back in place with a swipe of his fingers and sweater straightened in a second. The light flush on his cheeks could easily be blamed on the heat still rising from the kitchen.
The only signs he’d been doing anything other than politely admire Libby’s dance trophies was the bulge straining against the front of his pants and a smudge of her lipstick on his mouth.
A sound of dissent left his throat. “You look fucking gorgeous,” he said. “But everyone is going to know.” He leaned in to tug her shirt back into place, and let his lips whisper over her ear one more time. “But a part of me thinks that’s exactly what you want. ”
The light in the room grew brighter. He was right. The thought of someone catching them, with his hands all over her and her biting back her groans had made it even hotter.
The heat blooming under her ribs wasn’t embarrassment.
It was thrill.
His filthy little slut .
Unlocking a new kink had not been on her Christmas Eve bingo card that morning, yet here she was.
The front hall mirror showed she’d rearranged herself as well as she could manage. She waved as she walked briskly past Libby’s parents in the kitchen and into the living room. Josh dropped into an armchair by the fireplace, while Libby and Stephen sat cuddled on the couch.
Stephen looked Cass up and down and shot Josh an admonishing glare. “What the fuck, man,” he said under his breath, low enough Libby’s parents couldn’t hear, and Josh returned the look with a bored expression.
The expression Libby wore, however, spoke volumes. I know that look on your face. Are you sure about this? And the inevitable, you are going to get hurt . Cass swept the looks her best friend was giving her aside.
Because that look was on her face. She wasn’t sure what was happening. And she just hoped she wouldn’t get hurt again, but she was willing to take that chance.
Cass glanced around for a place to sit. There was no room to squeeze in with Josh on the armchair. If he had taken the other end of the sectional, she could have sat beside him.
“Here,” Stephen said, holding out his arm. She dropped down on Stephen’s other side, and Josh stiffened a fraction.
The fire flushed cheeks, and she stared into the flames. She shouldn’t like the little possessive streak, especially when there was nothing declared between them to be possessive about.
Whatever game they were playing had rules she couldn’t keep up with.
“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, kids,” Libby’s father yelled from the kitchen, and the crew dutifully filtered into the kitchen to bring the food out.
“If you don’t like someone else handling your woman, then make sure she can sit with you,” Libby hissed as she passed Josh.
Cass swatted her butt as she walked by. “I’m not anybody’s woman,” she muttered under her breath, but didn’t miss the side look Stephen shot at a disgruntled-looking Josh.
Maybe Stephen knew something she didn’t. Maybe a little jealousy of seeing her go on other dates had awoken something in him. After spending months together on set, working together, getting to know each other, maybe he wanted more.
There was the minor inconvenience of them living in different provinces, but Cass could ignore that for the time being. She was good at ignoring those types of things.
Like that after the short Christmas break, filming would wrap in a matter of weeks, and they would go back to living in different cities. She could ignore the fact that despite him pressing his dick against her stomach an hour ago, he’d never said he wanted anything more from her than a furtive romp.
A lot of things were going ignored and unsaid.
Libby wedged Cass between her and her father at the dinner table, across from Josh, presumably where no hands could go rogue under the table.
The sneak. Like putting them on opposite sides of the table would stop her from inching her foot up the inside of his leg.
Knowing her luck, she’d end up playing footsie with Stephen by accident. That, and unless she nearly slid out of her chair, her short little legs wouldn’t reach far enough under the table to snuggle her instep any closer than his knee.
As much as it was helpful, she didn’t need physical contact to make him squirm.
She passed on the wine but had a second helping of stuffing and sweet potatoes, and still found room for a piece of Libby’s father’s legendary pumpkin pie. Josh’s eyes were fixed on her mouth the entire meal .
She took another bit of the pie, licking the edge of the fork, and a muscle ticked in Josh’s jaw.
Maybe he wasn’t as detached as he looked.
Libby cracked the back door a quarter inch to release some of the tiny kitchen’s heat, and a slice of crisp air snapped across Cass’s body. Libby’s father had wrangled Stephen and Josh to put away the dining room chairs as her mother bustled back and forth with the leftovers.
“What are you doing?” Libby hissed between the moments they were alone in the kitchen.
“Not having sex in your bedroom,” Cass said with a flush up her cheeks. “Even if I really, really wanted to.”
“I don’t care about that, although you should know I did go down on Stephen in there before you came over. Don’t trust those sheets.”
“Ew, and thanks for the heads up.” Cass stacked the plates in the dishwasher. “You’d think he’d be more relaxed if he just got a beej.” Lord knew she felt fantastic.
“He’s tense because he’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”
Cass blew a lock of hair out of her eye and filled the sink, trying to prevent any water from wetting her silky top. She pushed her sleeves up her arms and out of the way of the water before dunking the bowl that had held mashed potatoes. “Well, don’t be. I’m fine.”
“Don’t give me that shit. You’re doing the thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing where you fall pussy up for the hot, emotionally unavailable guy.”
Cass tried to find fault with any part of what Libby said, but found none. She checked her texts when she heard her phone chime, hoping it would be him. She hung back after shoots to talk about the day, getting lost for hours in their recaps. She’d thrown herself at him after he’d picked her up from her final disastrous date.
He’d shut her down at every turn. And no, he hadn’t revealed much about himself. The only personal details she knew, besides what he looked like naked, she’d learned because Stephen had forced it out of him.
Her stomach constricted around the thought, and she shut her mouth while Libby’s mother dropped off another load of dishes. “Weren’t you the one who cheered me on when I hooked up with him back in Van?” she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.
“Whole-heartedly, but that was when it was a one-night stand to help you get over Nick. Remember the other hot, emotionally unavailable guy who benched you?”
Cass gripped the edge of the sink with soapy hands. Things changed. It was different for Libby and Stephen. What if it was different for her this time?
The kitchen had cooled several degrees with the back door still open. Stephen and Josh filtered into the room, and Cass shivered.
“If you want, I can drive you home,” Cass said quietly, and Josh grinned.
After two failed attempts to decline leftovers and goodbyes that lasted ten minutes, Cass and Josh penguin-walked down the sidewalk to her truck.
“Unlock it, unlock it, unlock it,” he pleaded, breath misting around him as he stamped his feet by the door with his arms laden with Tupperware. “Sweet holy hell, it’s colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss out here.”
Whatever she had expected, that wasn’t it. Cass clicked the door release and let a cackle escape into the night. “Colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss? I haven’t heard that one before.”
“My mother is Australian,” he said, jumping into the passenger’s side and slamming the door. “I’ve got a ton of those expressions chambered.”
What was this? A personal anecdote, freely given? It was like a fae prince had trusted her with his name. Her heart squeezed between her ribs, and she started the engine.
Josh cuddled a dish on his lap, steam rising from under the loosely wrapped lid. “Would it be weird if I held the Brussels sprouts while we drove? I don’t know how you got used to the cold.”
“I don’t know if you ever get used to it, but it’s amazing what you can learn to tolerate,” she said, and threw her truck into gear.
The roads late Christmas Eve were empty. Josh was still curled around the dish of leftovers as she pulled up to his rental. The snow crunched under the tires as she slowed, then stopped in the middle of the road. She cut the engine, and they sat listening to the truck ticking and sighing as it cooled in the night.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” she blurted.
Josh turned his head to look at her. The shadows obscured his face, and said nothing.
“I was going to go to my family’s, but they made other plans.” She rambled, “We can wear comfy pyjamas and watch movies and have hot chocolate, and we even have leftovers, so food is covered. I can pick you up in the morning.” She looked down into her hands, folded on her lap. “If you aren’t doing anything, I mean.”
“Or,” he said, running his tongue over his teeth, “I could grab my things and come over now.”
Josh in her apartment. In her bedroom. After what just happened at Libby’s. And still not knowing where she stood. Cass gripped the steering wheel with her gloved hands and stared out into the empty street.
“I’m not having sex with you,” she said stoically.
His shoulders caved with repressed laughter. “I said nothing about sex, despite you leaving me with the worst case of blue balls I’ve had since I was seventeen?— ”
“Don’t blame me! I didn’t shove my hands down your pants.”
“If you had, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he said. “And I don’t remember you having any objections.”
And that is exactly why this is a bad idea , she thought. On both counts .
“I have way too much turkey in me to think about making a move on you tonight,” he continued. “I’m being selfish. I’m thinking about saving myself from being outside again. Plus, it’s still early. We can watch a movie tonight.”
“You’d have to sleep on the couch.”
“Sounds cold. There’s more than enough room in your bed for both of us.”
Cass nibbled the corner of her lip, her eyebrows drawn together. “Not big enough for sex.”
“Every bed is big enough for sex, but see my previous statement. Too full to make a move. We can do facials instead.”
“Josh!”
“Honestly, Lucky Charms,” he tsked. “I don’t know where your mind is, but I’m assuming you have weird clay masks or some shit?”
Of course she did. She nodded.
“Movies. Face masks. Enough room between us for the Holy Spirit.”
“Promise?”
She wasn’t sure if she was asking him to assure her he wouldn’t try to sleep with her that night, or if she really could dollop her bright green kelp revitalizing concoction all over his perfect skin. She also wasn’t sure which promise she wanted him to break.
“If I don’t come over now, we’ll both wake up Christmas morning alone, and that would be sad,” he said, and his cheeks dimpled around his farcical pout.
He was goading her. She knew better. Every tease and innuendo tip ping way over the line into territory he promised not to cross.
Despite being full on turkey and stuffing and everything else, she was eating up everything he served her.
Having him over at night felt more dangerous than morning. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Okay, grab your stuff.”
“I’ll only be a minute.” He reached for the handle and turned back to her. “You’ll wait for me?”
Cass felt like she was dancing to a song she didn’t know the steps to, all the while being maneuvered onto the floor by a partner who absolutely did.
She swallowed hard and nodded. “I’ll wait right here.