Chapter Twenty-One #2
I stared for a second. The tip of my tongue rolled over my lips, tasting him anew. The bite I’d made peace with. It was a vampire necessity, something I had to do for survival. But licking his bare skin? It seemed almost lewd by comparison. Deviant.
But Raphael had said to not let others know I took his blood. Perhaps as I suspected, the vampire monarch being bitten was shameful.
I looked at the punctures, the vibrant crimson halo around each of them. Just get it over with, I told myself.
I stuck my tongue out and dragged it in a circle around his skin.
I hated that I noticed the difference tasting him like this.
With blood, it was a physical need. Like eating or drinking had been.
The taste was satisfying, easing the ache inside me.
But the texture of his skin, the notes of cedar and the lingering drops of blood, hit me in an altogether different way.
The desire I felt wasn’t blind hunger. Instead, arousal bloomed right at my center.
I wanted to squeeze my thighs together, but with Raphael wedged between, all it did was press me closer into him.
The skin knit together before my eyes. Like magic. My chest tightened, all too aware of the proximity, the way I was still holding Raphael’s shoulders, the way my body was pressed against his.
The carriage wheel snagged on a large stone and shook. I lost balance. My hands slipped from his shoulders.
Suddenly I was sitting directly on the vampire king’s lap instead of hovering above it.
I wasn’t the only one affected—Raphael’s erection pressed squarely at my center.
There were layers of fabric between us, but it was unmistakable.
The knowledge he was so affected, the proof of it, sent a tingle up my spine even though it was from the feeding.
There was no time to languish in the feeling. Am I supposed to pretend I don’t feel anything? How am I going to get up without rubbing against that? The carriage was doing no favors, the slight jerking hitting me. I choked on a gasp.
“I, um, fell,” I sputtered.
This close, I could feel the rumble of his laugh. “I gathered.”
“I’ll get off of you,” I stammered. “Just… whoops.”
I worked to regain my balance, pushing off his chest to get back to the safety of my corner of the cabin. But there was no avoiding sliding off the tent pitched in his pants, and I slid over him, hitting right between my thighs.
Raphael cursed, the word bitten off sharply. His hands remained frozen on the headrests. My face was aflame, especially with all the new blood inside me. I couldn’t look at him.
It didn’t help that the bite had stirred sensations in me as well.
When I’d been focused on feeding, it had all been a blend of survival and satiating the craving in me.
Now there was this warm feeling, my body tingling all over, like the massage from before, only I hadn’t realized every part of me was sore and now felt alive.
Like a kairomancer was brewing a storm under my skin.
Raphael didn’t look even remotely embarrassed. “You remember what the bite feels like, I’m sure.”
I was embarrassed all over again. Oh, it wasn’t me that triggered that, er, effect. It would have happened with any vampire.
His hands were still on the headrests beside him. Only now, the immaculate fabric was ripped, his fingers buried in the cushion. The wood was splintering.
He hadn’t touched me, I realized. I’d grabbed his shoulders, bit him, and pressed my body against him. And he’d restrained himself. Even when I was in his lap.
If I looked, I could definitely see his trousers straining.
I was absolutely not going to look.
The silence stretched too long for me to tolerate.
“Um, thank you.” I still wasn’t looking at Raphael. “For letting me do… that.”
“I did tell you you’d be a wonder with fangs.”
I blinked at the comment for a moment. Right. Back when we’d first met. “I thought you were mocking me.”
Raphael’s stare was more piercing than any set of fangs. “Not at that particular moment.”
I snorted, some of the tension easing between us. Gods, I’d been so scared of him then. Now, I should fear him. If I slipped, if he discovered I was the necromancer he was meant to hunt down, he’d kill me. But I didn’t feel fear.
I’d known fear as a constant companion for most of my life. It was my held tongue, my hunched shoulders, as I constantly fought to stay invisible. It was a cloak I’d worn for safety, something to warm me against the coldness of treachery.
Raphael was more dangerous than anyone I’d feared. Nelson, my tormentor of so many years, was a joke by comparison. It was almost hard to remember why I’d been afraid. At least while Raphael and I rode in the cabin.
With my thirst quenched, however temporarily, I drew the curtains back once more. We’d advanced a fair distance. I stuck my head out. Up ahead were the beginnings of the farms Raphael mentioned.
By the time I tucked my head back in, Raphael had composed himself. His shirt was once more buttoned and pulled straight, the expanse of his chest covered. His hair had been brushed back with fingers, falling slightly forward in a way that looked intentional.
No trace of the way he’d looked beneath me. Except for the damaged headrests.
Limanos finally came into view. There were no walls around the city, not the way I was accustomed to in the Witch Kingdom. Instead, speckles of color grew larger and larger, vibrant buildings with low roofs sprawling in denser formation to make a city.
Excitement grew in me. Even though I’d probably only ever see the city at night, it was lovely.
I’ve seen so little of the world. The thought was wistful. With the fledgling bond, I couldn’t go far. But after, what places could I see? What wonders lay within Eurobis?
For a time, as a fugitive, I’d planned to go west. But if I was to be the necromancer, how could I ever leave the Witch Kingdom? A stab of disappointment went through me.
I leaned away from the window. Suddenly, it wasn’t so tempting to look out at the city.
“If not for this bond, would you have taken me with you? On this journey, I mean.”
Raphael considered me. “That depends. Would you have wanted to come?”
“It’s hard to say.” I thought back to our argument before leaving.
The honest answer was, it wouldn’t have mattered since I would have left Damerel with the grimoire as soon as possible.
But, if I’d been allowed to be selfish— “The idea of a new city, new country, is exciting. It’s not something I ever imagined I would get to experience. ”
Raphael looked strangely sad at that, but it was gone too quickly from his face for me to question it. I knew I had an unpleasant youth—not many ten-year-olds were sentenced to Greymere. But it was more than that.
“Then it’s a good thing the bond is in place, isn’t it?”
I scoffed. “I wouldn’t go that far. I want it gone.” Needed it gone, but like I’d told him before—semantics.
“What if there was a way to do just that?”
“I thought you couldn’t end it.”
The male looked at me, an infuriating brow just slightly edging up in an unspoken retort.
“Raphael,” I growled.
“I propose a bargain. We’ll be in Limanos for a little over a fortnight.
For that time, while the Skyflame Celebration is underway, I would ask you to try living as a vampire.
And before you argue you have been, I mean truly living.
Discovering your new powers, your body’s new capabilities.
Resisting the urge to spend your time hating yourself and cursing me, and instead exploring this new world that you never expected to find yourself in. ”
It sounded like a waste. Wasn’t trying to master my necromancer powers, so I could stand by my witch brethren, the most valuable use of my time? Not that I could exactly say that. Still, I opened my lips to argue, but Raphael pressed on.
“Just because it’s not the life you planned for yourself doesn’t mean it’s bad, and just because it came from a terrible thing doesn’t mean you owe it to that miserable bastard to hate every moment of existence after it.
I want you to come with me to explore the city’s sights and let yourself want things without fighting every desire.
” He paused. “In exchange, I’ll help you break the bond. ”
I wasn’t sure which part frustrated me more: the fact he apparently knew how to break this bond the entire time or the fact his assistance hinged on me…
what? Frivolously indulging in every desire?
Learning to thrall humans? Not hating him for turning me?
“Why won’t you just help me break it, if you know how?
Surely it’s not pleasant for me to be tied within six hundred paces of you at all times. ”
Raphael shrugged, resting his arms on the seat rest once more. “Perhaps the two sides of the deal aren’t entirely unrelated.”
Clearly, Raphael knew more than he was letting on, but he held tight to his leverage.
Still, maybe I could work to undo the bond if I figured out what was needed.
If going along with this would let me move freely away from him—let me escape on my own terms—then it might be the answer to several of my problems.
I needed this bond broken. I should leap on the offer, but somehow what he’d laid before me felt more terrifying than any deal we’d made before—unlocking his chains, demanding answers from Librarians who could kill with a glance, even offering my blood.
Because this wasn’t something I could go through the motions of.
I would have to truly try to accept my life as a vampire.
I waited for the thought to come into my head, that I was a monster for even considering living a moment not filled with self-loathing. It was there, but… quieter.
“Two weeks of… what, exactly?”