3. Dynastie
I’d been in my office for the past few hours, going over the article I’d written about the top three picks in the professional basketball draft.
It had been a few days since I’d finished it, and I had to let it marinate before reading it again and sending it to my editor, Alicia.
After I felt comfortable with the words I’d penned, I hit send.
Before I could get up from my desk, my phone rang, and the name that flashed across the screen caused my heart to skip a beat. It had been years since the last time I’d communicated with this person, and I couldn’t imagine why he’d be calling me now.
I was in my head for too long, and my phone stopped ringing. Seconds later, it rang again with the same name on the screen. I took a few deep breaths, swiped my finger across the screen, and pressed the icon for the speaker.
“This is Dynastie.”
“Wassup, Dee?”
“Brax . . . Hey.”
“Either you still got my number saved or you recognize my voice. Both are a win. How you been? It’s been a while.”
“It has. I’ve been well. You?” I responded, ignoring the first half of his statement.
“Glad to hear it. Life is good.”
“Can I help you with something?” I questioned, still confused about why he’d be calling.
“I can’t just be calling to see how my sister is doing?”
I frowned as I looked at my phone.
“Sister? That’s funny. What do you want?”
“Dee—”
“Brax, I will end this fucking call right now.”
“Okay, damn. I need a favor.”
“You need a favor?”
“Yes. I need a favor,” he repeated.
“I’m listening.”
“Did you hear that Major is retiring after his next fight?”
It was all over social media, so unless you were living under a rock, you heard it, but I lied anyway.
“No, I hadn’t heard. Congratulations to him.”
“Maybe you can congratulate him yourself if you accept my proposal.”
“Which is?”
“Major wants you to co-write his memoir.”
“No.”
“Damn. You ain’t even gon’ think about it?”
“Nope. I’m busy. If he needs some recommendations, I’ll send you a few names.”
“Nah. He won’t do it unless you agree to co-write it with him.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. I know some great writers. Anything else?”
“Dee, please. He wants to share with the world how he became who he is today. You know what he’s been through, and he believes that if he shares his story, it will help a lot of young people who find themselves in situations similar to his.”
“That’s commendable, and I think it’s great that he wants to use his life to inspire others, but I don’t think I’m the right person to work with him on his story.”
“I disagree.”
“Brax, I appreciate your confidence in me, but I’m a sports journalist. I’ve never written a memoir, nor do I have the slightest bit of interest in doing so, especially not for Major Lloyd. Please give your boy my congratulations on his retirement and enjoy the rest of your day.”
I ended the call before Brax could say anything else and prayed he didn’t call me back. I hadn’t spoken to him or Major in years, and they had the nerve to ask me for help. If people had nothing else, they had audacity.
I leaned back in my chair and blew out a breath. After replaying my conversation with Brax, my thoughts naturally went to Major. Although we hadn’t spoken in years, thoughts of him still crept into my mind at least once a day.
After the way he did me, I should be over him by now, but my heart refused to listen to my brain. I’d prayed, gone to therapy, and dated some amazing men, but my heart wanted who it wanted.
I picked up my phone and called my mother. Dyana Love was a project manager for a finance company but was never too busy to take a call from her only daughter. She picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, sweetheart!” she answered with excitement.
“Hey, Ma. Are you busy?”
“You know I’m never too busy for you, especially when you sound like you need to talk.”
“You know me better than anybody, but you can always call me back if you’re in the middle of something.”
“I’m good. Tell Mama what’s wrong.”
“I won’t even beat around the bush. Brax just called me.”
“Brax? Major’s friend and manager, Brax?”
“Yes, and you wouldn’t believe why he called.”
“I can’t believe he called at all, so I’m sure the reason will be just as shocking.”
“I’m sure you heard that Major is retiring.”
“Of course. It was all over the news, and I watched his press conference, but you know I don’t bring him up unless you do.”
“I know. Anyway, apparently, he wants me to help him write his memoir.”
“Are you serious?”
“If what Brax said is true, I’m very serious. I said no before he gave me all the details.”
“That doesn’t surprise me, but sweetheart, why don’t you think about it for a few days?”
“What’s there to think about, Ma? Aside from the fact that I’ve never written a book or memoir, I can’t be around Major. It hurts too much.”
“How do you know when you haven’t seen him in years? Time and therapy have helped you heal in many ways. Maybe seeing him again will allow you to heal completely.”
“Or put me back in therapy.”
“You probably shouldn’t have stopped going in the first place.
Listen, I know the way things ended between you two broke your heart, but even if you don’t agree to do the memoir, I think it’s time for you to get a few things off your chest. You’re still harboring a lot of feelings, and if you don’t deal with them, every relationship you have will be affected. ”
She wasn’t wrong, because the pent-up anger, hurt, disappointment, resentment, and sadness I had about the demise of my relationship with Major were probably why it took me so long to take another man seriously.
“Jordan told me I needed to grow up and that I was emotionally unavailable.”
“What? I mean, he’s probably right about you being emotionally unavailable, but you’ve always been mature for your age. What made him say that?”
“He wants me to move in with him, and I told him I wasn’t interested.”
“Hold on. Did this just happen last night, because we talk every day, and you haven’t mentioned it?”
“No. It’s been a couple of weeks since he asked, but only a few days since I gave him an answer. There was no reason to mention it because I declined his offer.”
“I guess y’all have been dating for a while. The next logical step would be to live together unless you want him to propose first.”
“Eww, hell no, Ma. Oh shoot, my bad, but no. I don’t want him to propose.”
“Did you really say ‘eww’ in response to your boyfriend of almost two years proposing?”
“I don’t want to marry him.”
“Of course you don’t, because you’re still in love with Major.
Dynastie, I don’t know what you plan to do with your personal life anymore.
Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot more to life than marriage and children, but there was a time when you talked about wanting both, with Major, I might add, and I can’t remember the last time you mentioned either. ”
The only person I’d ever wanted to marry and create life with was Major, and the thought of building a life with someone else didn’t appeal to me.
“I know, Ma. Things changed, and I had to change with them.”
“Things did change, sweetheart, but I’m willing to bet Major’s feelings for you haven’t changed.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Is he still depositing money into your account every month?”
“Yes.”
“Birthdays and special occasions too?”
“Yes, Ma.”
Major had been depositing money into my bank account since he won his first large purse. It started in small increments of five hundred dollars each month and increased as he made more money.
When we stopped communicating, I was sure the money would stop as well, but like clockwork, on the fifteenth of each month, I received a deposit from ML Management.
The amount was capped at six thousand dollars per month about two years ago, but he never missed a deposit, and on my birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and the anniversary of our first official date, he deposited varying amounts.
Early on, a brief moment of insanity almost had me returning every dime he’d given me, but thankfully, it didn’t last long, and my mother would’ve talked me out of it had I considered it any longer than I did.
“If Major didn’t love you, do you think he’d still be giving you his hard-earned money so freely?”
“Major has a big heart, so he probably would.”
“You keep thinking that, but back to Jordan. You need to stop leading him on. I know you don’t love him, and—”
“He doesn’t love me either, so why does that matter?”
“What makes you think he doesn’t love you?”
“He’s never told me.”
She laughed.
“Girl, that man thinks you’re emotionally unavailable.
Do you really think he would risk putting his feelings out there, knowing full well you don’t feel the same?
I don’t know many men brave enough to do that.
You’re so busy holding on to the past that you can’t see what’s right in front of your face. ”
“I didn’t call for this, Ma.”
“I know you didn’t, but obviously, the good Lord thought you needed to hear it.
Even if you don’t change your mind about writing Major’s memoir, which I think you are quite capable of, you need to talk to that man.
As far as Jordan goes, let him go if you don’t think you’ll ever be able to reciprocate his feelings. I’ll leave you with one last thing.”
“What’s that, Ma?”
“During his press conference, one of the reporters asked Major if he wanted to get married and have more children. He told them that whether or not he gets married depends on one person, and that person wasn’t him. Who do you think he was talking about?”
“I haven’t talked to him in years, so he couldn’t have been talking about me.”
“You don’t believe that any more than I do. I gotta go. Love you lots.”
“Love you too.”
My mother had no problem telling me what I needed to hear, and she didn’t care if it hurt my feelings. I couldn’t be upset, because she told no lies. It was time for me to put on my big girl panties and make some hard decisions. It was time to face the music.
Later that evening, my father called. I didn’t swear my mother to secrecy, so I knew she’d shared at least parts of our conversation with him. I hesitated briefly before answering.
“How can I help you, Naseer?” I answered jokingly.
“Little girl, don’t play with your daddy like that.”
We shared a laugh before I spoke again.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“Hey, baby girl. How are you?”
“I’m good, but I’ve been in my head all day.”
“I’m sure you have. Your mother told me about your conversation.”
“What are your thoughts?”
“If it were someone else asking you to write their memoir, would you do it?”
“Honestly, I’d jump at the chance.”
“That means the only reason you’re declining is because it’s Major.”
I sighed. “Yeah, but—”
“No buts, baby girl. You’re a professional, and professionals don’t let their emotions stop them from accepting career-changing opportunities.”
“But Daddy, he broke my heart.”
“I know, baby girl, but maybe he’s trying to fix what he broke.”
“It’s too late for all that.”
“First of all, it’s never too late, but even if you do nothing more than mend your friendship, I think it’s worth it.”
I sighed again as I pondered my father’s words. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right.
“I hear you, Daddy, and I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask. Other than that, how’s everything else?”
“Mama didn’t tell you about Jordan asking me to move in with him?”
“Contrary to what you and your brother believe, we don’t share all the conversations we have with you with each other.”
I smacked my lips. “Yeah, sure.”
“Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m all ears.”
My father and I talked for about ten more minutes as I updated him on my life. I didn’t talk to him as much as I talked to my mother and brother, because he worked long hours as a freelance graphic designer. I went to bed with a lot on my mind and prayed I’d wake up with answers.