Chapter 10 #2
“You might not be physically abused, but you have to know you’re emotionally abused.
Jasper would be way better off being raised by you alone.
The less Rory rubs off on him, the better.
And I don’t want to hear all this fear about you not finding anyone else.
It’s about you, too, Margot. You need to be happy.
What? Do you want to raise Jasper in a sad home?
That boy deserves better than that. A happy broken home is better than what you’d give him if you stayed with Rory.
I can’t believe you. How could you even consider staying?
This ‘thing’ would always be in your home, like a hovering dark ominous cloud. ”
I picked up Philippe and hugged him tight. “Your divorce was different. You guys were a disaster. Talk about abusive. You were abusing each other. I’ve never seen a couple fight so much. Rory and I aren’t like that. We never fight. He’s just overworked.”
Erica raised her voice. “Overworked? The reason you two don’t fight is because you’re not even living in the same universe. You tell me all the time he doesn’t even see you!”
I audibly exhaled and squeezed Philippe tighter.
Erica sighed. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t need all this right now.
I know you’re falling apart. I just…I care about you, honey.
Rory is a selfish prick, and he’s never deserved you.
Don’t even think this was an isolated incident.
Cheaters always cheat. He’s probably been cheating on you for years. ”
“That’s not true.”
Erica shook her head. “Don’t fool yourself.”
“You don’t know him like I do.”
“Even if yesterday was the first time, it won’t be the last. Not if you give him another chance.”
Was she right? Had this been going on for a long time?
Had I been living my life in ignorant bliss?
I couldn’t voice my thoughts to Erica. I ran my fingers along Philippe’s snout.
“What would you have me do, Erica? What would I do with my life? I’ve dedicated the better part of twenty years to this family and living in this town.
Should I just walk away? Grab Jasper and try to start over in a new town somewhere? Leave my best friend? Leave my home?”
“That’s exactly what I think you should do, and if you could see clearly and stop feeling sorry for yourself, you’d realize that’s what you’re supposed to do.
Go open that bed-and-breakfast you won’t stop talking about!
Go start over. Look at you. You’re the catch of a lifetime.
Rory is the only one who doesn’t see it. He’s an effing idiot.”
I rolled my eyes.
Erica put her hands behind her on the rug.
“I know you need a little tenderness, but I’m not going to let you fall apart.
You were there for me during my divorce.
You told me I’d find someone better. I said you were crazy.
Then you shook your finger at me and replied, ‘He’s holding you back, Erica.
You could be so much more.’ I’ll never forget those words.
Now it’s time you take your own words to heart.
Take his money, take his son, and get out of here. Go chase your dream.”
Even the idea exhausted me. “Where would we go?”
She raised her voice again. “Anywhere with bed-and-breakfasts. Or someplace where one is needed. Last time I checked, that’s every inhabited place on earth.”
I took a long breath. “My real dream is to raise my beautiful son with my husband. My dream is to be a homemaker and a good wife. My dream is to be the most supportive partner of all time. I don’t need to go somewhere else to chase my dreams.” I hammered my clinched fist through the air.
“My dream is right here. I just have to swallow my pride and forgive him. Why should my whole life be turned upside down? I didn’t do anything wrong! ”
Her eyes widened. “You can have all that with a new man—a trustworthy man—and you can have the life Rory never let you have. And, you might not believe it right now, but it’s possible that you can have a new life without another man.
” She wagged her finger at me. “You know what this is? This is you on the Dream Killer’s leash.
He’s taken your heart and soul. Damn it, Margot.
Break free of this man. If you let him talk his way out of this and take him back, will you ever really be able to trust him?
You didn’t know what was going on before.
Will you trust that it won’t happen again?
And, even if it doesn’t, will you believe in your heart of hearts that it’s not going on?
Every time Rory is out of your sight, will you wonder if he’s with someone else? Think about it. You’ll always wonder.”
I was losing my patience. “I see nothing wrong with at least considering standing by him. He was thinking with his penis. He isn’t the first. It was a mistake, and it happens all the time.
I can’t let the fact that it happened so publicly make it a bigger deal than it is.
A strong marriage means standing by your partner no matter what.
Fighting through the hard times until you’re both sitting in rocking chairs in some nursing home holding hands. That is my dream.”
Erica wasn’t going to let me off the hook.
She drilled me with, “Sticking together doesn’t mean accepting deliberate and unwarranted betrayal and possibly leaving the door wide open to a repeat performance.
” Then, using my own words against me, she repeated what I’d told her during her troubling times, whispering as if resting her case, “He’s holding you back. You could be so much more.”
I put my hands over my face and rubbed my eyes. “Having a child changes things. It’s not about me anymore.”
“You couldn’t be more wrong, my friend. You need to show Jasper what a strong person looks like. Don’t teach him to compromise; teach him to live to the fullest. You can’t believe Jasper would want you to sacrifice your happiness for him. Think about it.”
I hammered my fist down onto my thigh. “Stop. Please. Just stop. Not everything is black and white.”
Erica raised her hands in the air in surrender.