Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
CARA
Vera was picking me up in a few hours because something had possessed me to offer to go tux shopping with her. Why had I done that? I told myself it was to be a good friend. That was it. Not for any other selfish reasons.
Friendship with Vera was… complicated, to put it lightly.
For starters, we had slept together, and every time I looked at her, that was the first thing I thought of.
We were also fake dating and lying to my friends.
I knew how she felt about me, but fake dating friends was all we could be.
I was getting a headache just thinking about it all.
I decided to busy myself with the only thing I knew how. I sat at my desk and engrossed myself in work until my alarm went off. I was so nervous, I’d gotten ready earlier. An hour later, my alarm went off, telling me I had thirty minutes before Vera showed up.
When the doorbell rang exactly thirty minutes later, I rolled my shoulders and found myself smiling as I fixed my dress and made sure my hair was put together. Of course she was disgustingly on time.
“Good morning, princesa.” her greeting was joined by a cup that she held out in front of me.
I looked at it with a frown and then back to her eyes. “Good morning.” I said the words slowly, like I was trying to process every one. “You got coffee?”
She smiled and I stared at the cup as if it were the most interesting thing on the planet. Looking at her smile was like looking straight into the sun. Look for too long and you’ll go blind.
“I may have asked Eloise for your coffee order. Iced matcha with oatmilk and brown sugar syrup. Are you ready to go?”
I had the most helpful assistant. I’d have to remember to “thank” her for that. I didn’t know what to say, I just kept staring at the drink, waiting for something else to happen. What that would be, I didn’t know.
Why was one simple act paralyzing me? It wasn’t like she bought a house or something. It was just a drink. Less than eight dollars. It wasn’t a big deal. She was just being nice. Which was part of the problem.
She was always just being nice. Too nice. She made it nearly impossible not to fall into the trap of attraction. Of course, I wasn’t blind. I could see, objectively, that she was very, very attractive.
But looks could only get you so far. Her personality, though? That was something else entirely. That was the part that was going to get me into trouble if I wasn’t careful. Lucky for me, careful was my middle name. Okay, so legally it was Brianne, but still. I wasn’t going to fall into her trap.
The drive was just a little over an hour long, and I tried to relax. Sitting that close to her for that long wasn’t easy. Her cologne was the same one she wore the night we met, and I had resulted to breathing through my mouth, hands glued to each other and legs tightly pressed together.
“There’s our hotel, should we stop to reminisce?” We had been riding in thirty minutes of uncomfortable silence when she spoke, causing me to jump.
I looked to see her pointing to the hotel we met at. Memories of that night flooding my mind, making me lightheaded. Or it could’ve been her cologne.
I didn’t reply. I just stared out the window at the hotel.
What was I going to say? That I thought about that night just about every day?
That when I pleasured myself, I couldn’t help but close my eyes and see that night play out.
Hearing her voice praising me? That smelling that cologne turned me on?
That her smile was the first thing I saw, and now I can’t see it without remembering her mouth on me?
That the more I thought about it in that truck, the more that the idea to actually stop wasn’t sounding so terrible?
“Pancakes and orange juice.”
I turned to look at her, confused as my thoughts from that night were swirling in my head. “What?”
“That’s what I was getting you for breakfast the next morning.
Blueberry pancakes, fruit, and orange juice.
I went to the diner across the street to get it.
The hotel breakfast wasn’t that great, and I figured you’d be hungry.
I guess I was right, but you just wanted the food from your own house.
” She shrugged and I shrunk into myself.
I reached over and placed my hand on top of hers, feeling her muscles tighten as I did. She looked down at where our hands touched, and I pulled away as if I’d been burned.
“I don’t know what to say, Vera. I feel awful about how it all played out. I wasn’t expecting to find someone to—”
“Have a one-night stand with? Me either, Cara, but that’s how it happened and that’s okay. You woke up and saw I was gone. I would’ve assumed the same thing, to be honest. But I want you to know I hadn’t intended for you to be a one night thing.”
I smiled softly. I wish I could’ve said the same, but I didn’t. I hadn’t expected to end up in her bed at all, and it won’t happen again.
I opened my mouth to apologize, but she was starting to pick up on my guilt and shook her head.
“Please don’t apologize again. You have nothing to be sorry for.
It’s in the past and we’re starting over.
All is forgotten, princesa.” She was right.
It was in the past, and it was best if that was where it stayed.
Half an hour later, I was waiting for Vera while she tried on tux’s. I had been texting with Blair about wedding stuff to distract myself. They had picked a cake flavor and she was showing me pictures online and asking my opinion of which style she should go with.
Vera came out of the fitting room and I almost dropped my phone on the floor. Seeing her in a tux had my lip trying to hide itself between my teeth. Thoughts of our night together running through my mind.
“Well?” she asked when I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what words were.
“It’s, yeah.” I nodded like an idiot. Get it together, Cara!
“It’s yeah? Do you like it?”
Did I like it? Did I like it?! I wanted to take it off and shove her against the wall of the dressing room, but I couldn’t just outright say that. “It’s not about me, Vera, but the top is a little… Here, let me fix it.”
Without waiting for a response, I took a step closer until I could practically feel her breath on me. I reached up and gripped the collar of her vest, straightening it out.
The entire time, her eyes never left mine. They stared into my soul, and I was worried she could see every thought running through my mind. I had already broken the “no kissing” rule, technically, but there, in the dressing room, I was seconds away from breaking the biggest rule of them all.
“How does it look now, princesa?” she whispered, causing a shiver to race up my spine.
“Perfect,” I answered honestly, my voice becoming hushed. I hadn’t even taken a second glance at the suit. I didn’t care anymore. The only thing I cared about was forcing my feet to stay where they were, and more importantly, forcing my lips and hands to stay far away from hers.
Apparently, she didn’t have the same cares that I did. She took a step closer, as if there were any more space between us anyway. An ant couldn’t even fit through us. Her eyes trailed down to my lips and I instinctively licked them.
“You know, princesa. You look very beautiful in that dress. It’s the same color as the one you wore the night we met.
That cherry red with the slit that had me seeing stars.
Do you remember that night? Because I sure as hell do.
The way that color brings out your eyes.
The way your lipstick matches the color of that dress.
I wonder if they taste as sweet as you look. ”
I swallowed as she brought up a hand to caress the side of my face. Did I remember that night? How the hell could I forget?
Her eyes still hadn’t left mine, and I couldn’t breathe. My eyes traveled down to her lips and when she licked them, I felt a jolt of electricity pulse through me. I wanted to lean in. I wanted to kiss her.
Which was exactly why I took a step back. That wasn’t going to happen, and even just thinking it could’ve made a mess of things.
I cleared my throat and wiped my hands on my dress. “I’d go with that one. Unless you want to try any more?”
If she was bothered by my rejection, she didn’t show it. She put on her perfect smile and nodded. “There are a few I’d like to try, but I’m leaning towards this one.” She went to take a step toward me but seemed to have thought better of it before turning back into the fitting room.
When the door closed I let out the breath that had threatened to get stuck in my throat and covered my face in my hands. I plopped down on the couch and groaned.
What the hell was wrong with me? I kept giving an inch, then regretting it and taking back a mile. I needed to pull it together and stop getting affected by her. I was a professional business woman who worked well under pressure and I needed to remember that.
The rest of the day went by without any more tension. She tried on a few more tuxes and I was able to keep my cool. She ended up choosing the first one she tried on, claiming that because I said it was perfect, it was the obvious choice.
The drive back home was quiet, but it didn’t feel stilted.
I’d glance at her, catching her doing the same, and we’d smile, but that was it.
She dropped me off with a light squeeze to my wrist, which I definitely didn’t go inside and think about for an hour, and I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the night.
I did call Eloise, however. She was the only one who knew the truth and I had to vent to someone.
I replayed the events of the day and of course her focus was on the almost kiss. She asked so many questions but my least favorite one was, “Tell me again why you can’t just grow your lady balls and do it?”
“For one, gross. For two, she’s not my type. You already know this. She isn’t someone I can see myself with long term, so there’s no point in spending a night together when it won’t go anywhere.”
“But you already have spent a night together, and from what I can tell, you haven’t forgotten about it.
I can also tell that she really likes you, and she’s hot as hell.
She’s got that whole sexy butch golden retriever vibe going on.
She looks like she could crush someone who did her wrong, but she also is whipped for you.
I mean what stranger offers to be your fake date to a wedding?
In another country? Give the poor woman a chance! ”
“I don’t even know what to say to any of that.
While you’re right, that night only happened because I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.
If it happened again, which it won’t, it would make a complicated mess of things.
I have to see her every day and I know how she feels about me.
I don’t feel the same and it wouldn’t be right to exploit her feelings for a few hours of enjoyment.
No matter how good it was, I just can’t do that. ”
We talked for a few more minutes until we ended the call. Everything I said was true. There were so many reasons why it just wouldn’t work, and it was better for me to keep all of those reasons in mind when I was around her.