Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
CARA
Sitting on a plane next to Vera was the closest we’d been in the two weeks since she’d dropped me off after dinner at her grandmother’s.
Two weeks since she kissed me goodnight at my door.
Two weeks of staring at her in the office from afar, and two weeks of my office being empty of her abuela’s cooking and her charming smile.
But I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I’d missed her or anything.
We hadn’t talked in person since then. I’d thrown myself into work and she hadn’t come to see me. We’d texted here and there, but life had gotten in the way of the conversation I knew we needed to have.
I kissed her. I had initiated the kiss in her childhood bedroom, and I’d kissed her back after that. I couldn’t tell her I didn’t have feelings for her anymore. That kiss wasn’t for the lie we were trying to sell to my friends.
Was it still a lie? It was clear we both had some kind of feelings for each other, but we still weren’t dating, so I was still lying to them.
We held hands in front of them, and had moved to short pecks on the lips instead of cheek kisses, and right now, her hand was resting on my thigh, and mine was wrapped around her arm.
It was almost like I’d forgotten the fake part of our agreement and it had become easier to be around her.
Easier to let my guard down and give in to the touches I desperately craved.
Even now, while my friends were far in front of us, I was comfortable with her hand on me and being that close to her.
“Do you think we could talk later? At least sometime before the wedding?” I asked in a whisper. I didn’t want to keep going back and forth in my mind about what we were doing. I was already doing that enough with what I wanted to be doing.
Maybe dating someone that wasn’t my normal go-to would be good for me. Maybe just a casual fling would be too. I already knew she’d satisfy me better than I could satisfy myself, so I didn’t have to worry about whether I’d get off or not.
But sex wasn’t the most important thing.
While it was a very important piece of the puzzle, what mattered most was how my partner treated me.
If they respected me, and if I respected them.
If we were honest with each other and faithful to one another.
The deeper things, that was what mattered the most. Could Vera provide that for me, despite how different our lives were?
She turned to me, worry creasing her features. “Of course. Is everything okay? Am I being graded on my performance? I thought I was being a great girlfriend.”
I rolled my eyes and nudged her arm. “You’ve been exceptional. I just wanted to talk about what happened at your abuela’s.”
She grinned. “Do you know how sexy it is when you speak Spanish? Have you ever joined the mile high club, because I think I’d like to consider it right now.” She winked.
I bit my lip, not hating that idea. “I’m sure Drea and Blair have already claimed their membership for that one. I’m serious, though. I think we should talk about—”
“Ladies and gentlemen, as we begin our descent into Bali, please ensure your seatbelt is securely fastened, your tray table is stowed, and your seat is in the upright position. All carry-on items should be placed securely under the seat in front of you or in the overhead compartments. We’d like to thank you for flying with us today.
We hope you have a wonderful stay or a safe onward journey. Welcome to Bali!”
“Later, princesa.” Vera kissed my cheek and we prepared to land. I guess we were talking about it later.
“Alright, babe. Here is your room key. You’re on the sixth floor and we’re on the seventh.
Drea knows where everyone else is staying.
Why don’t you guys go get settled and we can all meet up later?
It’s been a long journey and I need a good nap!
” Blair laughed and kissed my cheek before going to find Drea.
I stood staring at the cards in my hand. Two room keys, for the room I’d be sharing with Vera. The same room.
“Are you okay, there?”
I jumped when I felt Vera’s arm on my shoulder. “What? Yeah, I just, I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me that we’d be sharing a room.”
She shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it either, to be honest. They think we’re dating, so it makes sense, though. Is it going to be a problem?”
I shook my head. “No, of course not.” I put on a smile and straightened my back. I could do this. Share a room with Vera for a week. As long as there were two beds everything would be fine. Which, knowing Drea, there probably weren’t. Shit.
It was fine. I’d be fine. I was a successful business woman.
I was a grown adult and I could control myself.
It wasn’t like we’d be sleeping on top of each other.
And neither of us were very big. We didn’t take up that much space, and we could occupy a bed together without touching. Everything would be fine.
The room was massive. The bed in the middle of the room was a four-poster king bed with a canopy draping over it. At least it was a king.
There was a couch big enough for four people in the corner.
The windows were floor-to-ceiling and had the most amazing view overlooking the ocean.
There was an infinity pool on the patio and I could’ve talked about the bathroom forever.
There was a huge walk in shower with a rain shower head and a clawfoot tub in the corner of the shower.
A tub in the shower! I had died and gone to vacation paradise.
“Wow, Drea really went all out for this. This place is incredible.”
I nodded my agreement. “That she did. Drea has a heart and wallet of gold. I feel like I should take a nap, but I’m oddly not tired. I’m going to freshen up and get some reading in before I head to Blair’s room. Is that okay?”
“Of course, princesa. I may try to squeeze in a nap. I don’t know how you’re still functioning, I’m exhausted. I’m a deep sleeper, so don’t worry about being quiet or anything.”
I smiled and padded my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower, feeling slightly guilty for lying to her.
I was exhausted, but the thought of sleeping in the same bed as Vera was making me anxious. I knew I’d have to tonight, but that was a problem for me to deal with later.
After my quick shower, I rummaged through my bag to find the book I’d brought. It was a sapphic dragon-shifter romance and it was big enough to get me through the week.
I settled on the couch with my book and a blanket. It may have been hot outside, but our room was a little chilly. I couldn’t wait to relax with this book and enjoy the view of Bali.
“Cara.” I heard a whisper but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Hmm?” I hummed. When had it gotten so dark?
“Princesa?”
I felt a soft caress of my face and startled, opening my eyes. So that’s why it was so dark. “What? What time is it?”
“It’s a little past six. You fell asleep. I guess you were tired, huh?” She smirked like she knew I’d lied earlier.
“I guess so. I better get up. Blair’s probably waiting for me. Are you coming too?”
She shook her head. “No, I’ll stay here. I may head to the gym or pool for a little bit. You go hang out with your friends, princesa. I’ll be okay.”
I frowned, finding myself actually wanting her there. But I understood she wanted to do her own thing. “Are you sure? You can come if you want. They won’t mind.”
She smiled, taking a step closer to me. “You’ll miss me, won’t you?” she leaned down until we were breaths apart, making my heart skip a beat. My pulse quickened and I swallowed.
“You could always stay here and I could keep you company. You know I’ve done it before.” She winked and I licked my lips, remembering exactly the kind of company she was.
I was so tempted to lean in. It would’ve been so easy to just move an inch and connect our mouths together. Before I could get the chance, Vera created space between us and reached out her hand to help me off the couch.
“Go, princesa. You better get to your friends before you have to tell them you won’t be leaving the room tonight. Your bed head is extremely sexy and I can’t resist it for much longer.”
I groaned. She was killing me. But she was right, I needed to go check in with the bride’s, anyway. I’d thought about texting them, but I needed the fresh air that wasn’t in that room surrounded by Vera, so I decided to just go up to their room instead.
As soon as I was about to go to Blair’s room, my phone went off with a message alert:
Blair: Omg! I’m so sorry guys, I lost track of time!! I’m just so tired from the flight! Everyone have a good evening and thank you for coming to Bali! I love you!!!!
Me: Yeah, I bet you’re exhausted
Mackenzie: Ya’ll are nasty!!
Drea: You’re one to talk, wildcat! It was a long flight!!
Daisy: Yeah, we’re exhausted too…
Me: Okay, you all are sick! I’m actually going to bed! I love you all, goodnight!
Fallon: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Cara.
Blair: Love you, babe!
Drea: Love you, doll!
Kaia: Love you, Car!
I plugged my phone into the charger, grimacing at the images I now had of all my “exhausted” friends in their rooms. Good for them, though. I’m glad someone was getting some.
“Are you sleeping?” I asked. It was a little past eight and I’d been tossing and turning for the past thirty minutes, and couldn’t get comfortable.
Normally, I wouldn’t have been in bed any earlier than eleven, but the flight, and being so close to Vera for so long, had taken a lot out of me and I was worn out.
“Yes,” she answered dryly.
“I can’t sleep.” I groaned, finally rolling over on my back.
“Come here, princesa.”
I turned to look at her. “What?” I asked.
She sighed rather loudly and looked at me. “Come here.” She removed the blanket from her chest and motioned for me toward her.
She wanted to snuggle? Was she serious? “You’re not serious.”
“I never joke about snuggles, Cara. Now come here, or I’ll come get you.”
I laughed while my cheeks heated. I was tempted to say no, just to see if she was true to her word. That sounded like an exciting idea, but so did laying with her, honestly.
I had to admit, somewhere along the way, she had burrowed her way into my life and I didn’t know if there was a way to get her out. If she asked, I’d tell her she’d grown on me, but in reality, I think a small part of me had always seen something, I just didn’t want to admit it.
That night at her abuela’s, I’d decided to let her have a small win.
A kiss was harmless. A kiss meant nothing.
I liked her, so what? I liked a lot of things that I had no intentions of having a future with.
I could kiss her, and like her, and even cuddle with her, and it didn’t have to mean anything.
There wasn’t going to be a future for us, no matter how many times I let her convince me otherwise. No matter what she said or did. No matter how my body or heart reacted to her. Anything we had ended in Bali. Anything we had wasn’t real.
Wasn’t it, though? I had made the decision to talk with her more that night. To kiss her. To sleep with her. I had made the decision to agree for her to be my date to the wedding. To go tux shopping with her. To go to dinner with her. To kiss her for real.
I had made all of those decisions and none of them were because I didn’t want to.
I’d agreed to everything up to this point because I wanted to.
How my body reacted to her, I couldn’t control.
How I felt about her, however that was, I couldn’t control.
I could try and fight it, but all that’s done is leave me miserable.
If only things were different. I could’ve seen us together in another life.
She would’ve been perfect. So why wasn’t she now?
So far, the only red flag I’d seen was the fact that she wasn’t a femme.
I know it was shallow of me to think that way, but I did.
I’d always been drawn to feminine women.
But at the same time, I couldn’t deny there was clearly something there with Vera.
Aside from the physical aspect, she checked every other box.
Honest? Check. Caring? Check. Chemistry? Double check. Easy to talk to? Check. Gives me butterflies and makes me forget how to breathe? Check. Could turn me on with a smirk? Check. Would fight for me? Check.
She checked it all. So why was I still hesitating? In the moment, there was no hesitation, but if I sat and thought about it, I’d step back. Everything was easy when it was just the two of us. But what would happen if we continued things after Bali? Would it still be easy?
I gave in and scooted closer to her, laying my head on her chest and wrapping my arms around her, letting out a deep sigh when she put the blanket over us and rested her hands on my back, bringing us closer together. I’d forgotten how good it felt just to be held by someone else.
“Are you comfortable?” she asked, drawing circles along my back, making me shiver.
I wanted to tell her I was. That I was always comfortable around her, but I didn’t. Instead, I looked up at her. “We need to talk about what we’re doing, Vera.”
“Okay, well, right now, you’re laying your head on my chest and making me feel all warm and fuzzy.”
I rolled my eyes and squeezed her side, causing a half-giggle, half-moan to slip out from her mouth. I didn’t want to examine how that sound made me feel. “You know what I’m talking about. What happened at your abuela’s.”
She smiled. “I love it when you speak Spanish. Tomorrow. Tonight, we sleep. No decisions should be made after the sun goes down.”
I groaned in protest, but the idea of snuggling up to Vera and sleeping instead of talking about us, sounded a hell of a lot better to me. “Fine. Tomorrow," I said through a yawn. We’d talk about it tomorrow.