Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
CARA
When I pulled up to Vera’s abuela’s house, I was still so anxious.
Why did she want me over for dinner if she knew Vera and I weren’t talking?
I didn’t show up empty handed, though. Because I was dreading this dinner, I stayed up until about eleven baking cookies.
Snickerdoodles were the cookie choice for today.
I couldn’t bring myself to make Vera’s favorite cookies.
I rang the bell and waited on shaky legs. Was Vera here? Would she see me and storm out? I didn’t know what to expect and I absolutely hated that. I picked up my phone last night to call her a few times, but I stopped myself every time. I didn’t know what I would even say.
“Cara, I’m so glad you made it!” Vera’s abuela brought me in for a hug when she opened the door.
“Thank you for inviting me. I brought cookies. Do you like snickerdoodles?”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever had them, but that was very thoughtful of you, dear.”
“I have to admit I was a little nervous for tonight. Does Vera know I’m here?”
She shook her head. “No, mija. She’s not here.” She pulled me inside and led me to the dining room where she already had food laid out. It all smelled amazing.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t see Vera anywhere. I felt about twenty pounds of stress fall off my shoulders as I sat down.
I took in all of the food as she told me to get my plate filled. There was ham, a few sides, and some rolls. It was like a Christmas dinner. “This is a lot of food for just the two of us, isn’t it?”
She shrugged. “Leftovers are a wonderful thing.”
That was true. I smiled and started filling my plate. Pausing when the doorbell rang.
“Excuse me, won’t you? I better get that.”
I nodded and continued to fill my plate. I wondered who was at the door. I heard her quietly speaking Spanish, but I couldn’t hear who she was talking to.
I had just picked up a roll when she walked back into the room. “Who was—”
All of my words died off as she moved to the side and Vera came around the corner. I stood up, not sure what else to do. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. I hadn’t seen her in over a week and I hadn’t talked to her since our fight. The tears threatened to spill out but I had to control them.
She stood there, seemingly just as surprised to see me as I was to see her. She looked amazing in a nice button up shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. I looked her up and down. God, she looked good! I hated that.
“Hi,” she finally said. She still hadn’t moved from the doorway and I hadn’t sat back down. I wasn’t sure how she’d react to me being there, so I was ready to leave if that’s what she wanted.
“Hi,” I replied softly. For some reason, I couldn’t find my voice.
“Hola. Now sit, mija.”
Her grandmother was already sitting back at the table and Vera turned to her. I still hadn’t taken my eyes off her.
“Abuela, I don’t—”
“Ahora!”
“Si, abuela.”
Vera took the seat in front of me and cleared her throat. “It’s good to see you, Cara.”
“Cara? Is that my name now?” I asked, not wanting to admit how much that hurt. I’d grown to love the nickname she gave me, and to be called anything else, felt like a stab in the gut.
The look she gave me was one of sadness and apology. “I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate being called princesa. I’m not sure—-“
“I’m glad both of my girls are here, now we can eat. Oh, you know what? I think I forgot something upstairs. Let me go get it.” Her grandmother cut her off and stood up.
“Do you need help, abuela?” Vera asked.
Well at least I knew how she felt about me being here. She didn’t even want to be in the same room as me.
I stood up. “I’ll help you. Then, I think it’s better if I go and let you two enjoy your family dinner.”
Vera stood up and frowned. “No, Cara. You don’t have to leave. Please, I—”
“Nonsense. You both sit down. No one is leaving. I’m perfectly capable of getting around on my own. I won’t be long. Sit down and enjoy your dinner.”
Without another word, she was gone, and we were both in our seats again. Vera started eating and avoided all eye contact with me. I wanted to leave. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to cry and hold her and make all the pain go away. I wanted everything I didn’t have the courage to do.
After a few minutes of not really eating, just playing around with her food, she put her fork down and cursed under her breath. She finally looked at me and my heart stuttered before starting up again. I opened my mouth to say… something, when she beat me to it.
“I’m so sorry, Cara. I was an idiota.”
I sat there, waiting for her to continue. She looked at me as if she expected me to argue with that statement. “If you were expecting me to disagree with that, you’ll be sorely disappointed.”
“I wasn’t. This is hard for me, okay? I was so stupid and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of what I said.”
“No? Then why did you say them? It sure sounded like you meant them.”
“I was panicking and stressed about Nico, and you were being your perfect self just trying to help. Nico and Miguel’s words just kept playing in my head and I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m sorry.”
I frowned. “Their words? What did they say?” What had they said about me? I thought her brother liked me? Had I gotten everything wrong?
“They were basically saying how we didn’t fit together and how our jobs and lives are so different and for some reason, all of that came to my head when Nico got hurt and I wondered if they were right.
We are just so different and you’ve even said time and time again that I’m not your type so it just made me think you were all right. ”
My face was blank, but I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut. I nodded slowly. “Maybe.”
I stood up, ready to leave. Clearly she was breaking up with me and I didn’t need to wait for her abuela to come back and see my tears. They had already started pooling underneath my eyes.
She grabbed my hand and stopped me before I could walk away from the table. She stood up and rounded the table so we were face to face.
“But I think they’re wrong.”
“What?”
“We do have different lives and different jobs, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. You said I wasn’t your type, but you gave me a chance anyway and we fell in love. I don’t care if you’re a publisher, a bus driver, or a stripper.”
I chuckled, tears escaping my eyes. I didn’t know what was happening, and nothing she said was making sense, but I let her keep going.
“I wouldn’t even care if you were unemployed.
I’m in love with who you are as a person.
I didn’t mean any of those things I said, and it wasn’t right of me to say them.
I’m so sorry I hurt you. I think I was just scared and didn’t want to seem unqualified to do my job.
To me, it seems weak to ask for or accept help. ”
I shook my head. “It’s not, Vera. It doesn’t mean you’re weak at all.
You’re right, we are so different, but I think that’s why we worked so well together and why I did fall in love with you.
You’ve shown me how to live life and not just exist in it.
I appreciate your apology, but I’m still really angry about the things you said.
Those were the fears I’ve had our entire relationship, and to think you felt the same doesn’t sit right with me. ”
She nodded. “I understand. The next move is yours and I fully support whatever decision you make. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. I am so insanely in love with you, and I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you. I’ll wear your masquerade dress to work if it means I got to keep you. ”
I laughed at that image. “While that does sound entertaining, I don’t think that’s necessary.”
Before I could say anymore, her grandmother came back with a bright smile on her face. “Does this mean you forgave my Veronica? Did you two work things out?”
I looked at Vera and noticed our hands were still joined together. I wanted to let go, but at the same time, I didn't. It felt so good to be touching a part of her again.
Vera shook her head. “I’m not sure she’s forgiven me just yet.”
“Well, did you tell her how silly you were being and how much you love her?”
She nodded. “I did. I told her I was so stupid and regret everything I said. That I didn’t mean it and I’m so in love with her.”
“I know my granddaughter, mija. She’s telling the truth. She doesn’t admit her faults easily. She’s stubborn like her father was, but she has the heart of gold to make up for it.”
I looked into Vera’s eyes and saw everything her grandmother said. She was stubborn sometimes, but man, was her heart bigger than anyone I knew.
“I see that. Are you saying I’d be a fool to let her go? Because my parents didn’t raise a fool. They taught me to hold on to the good things in life.”
“Always listen to your parents, dear.”
I smiled and took a step closer to Vera, who was still looking at me and hadn’t said a word. It was truly my decision about what happened next. “You are one of the really good things in my life, Vera.”
“Don’t just stand there, Veronica. She is choosing you. Kiss her!”
Vera and I laughed and I shrugged. “Aren’t you supposed to listen to your elders?”
Vera cupped the side of my face and smiled. I leaned into the touch, not realizing just how much I’d missed it.
“Si. Bésame, princesa.”
I smiled and wasted no time crashing our mouths together. I felt like I was at home. All of my racing thoughts stopped abruptly when she kissed me. It was short, but it meant everything to me.
When we parted, her grandmother was gone again. “I think we scared her off,” Vera said with a soft chuckle.
I grabbed her shirt, drawing her closer to me. “Béseme, Vera Elena.”
“?Ay dios mío! You know I love it when you speak Spanish.” She connected our lips again and the rest of the world faded away. Our kiss lasted for a few more seconds before her grandmother came back and we sat down to finish our dinner.