Twenty-One #3
“That would be a nice theory, except that he doesn’t call me anything but Maggie. Not Mags like Dominic does, or Maggie May like Lily does, or even doll like his brother, Michael, does. He has no pet names for me, but you…you he calls baby.” Her eyes were riveted on mine. “Why is that, Jory?”
“It just came out. It means nothing.”
“I think it means everything and explains a hell of a lot.”
“I—”
“I’ve had sex with that man one time, Jory, just one time in four months and—”
I put up my hand to stop her. “Please don’t tell me about—”
“I want him so bad it’s eating me up.” She cut me off, ignoring my plea. “But he just wants to hold me and cuddle and—”
“Most people like that stuff,” I assured her. “I’m a fan.”
“I want Sam Kage to take me to bed and screw my brains out, Jory. I want to be ravished. I want him to eat me alive, and he won’t. He just won’t…” She trailed off, her eyes all over me. “And I’ve tried everything to… It’s embarrassing what I’ve tried.”
I had no idea what to say.
She coughed. “And now I see him with you. He watches you, he can barely keep his hands off you, and that whole scene… You guys argue like an old married couple.”
“I don’t think—”
“And then the name…” she breathed out, studying my face. “How many times did you sleep with him?”
“You’re way off.”
“I think I’m right on target, actually.” Her eyes locked on mine. “Sam’s gay?”
“No,” I answered gently.
She nodded. “He’s bi, then?”
“I think you should talk to Sam about—”
“Were there others, or only you?”
“I’m not comfortable with—”
“Okay. Only you. This is all starting to make sense.”
“You’re so wrong, you have—”
“Ohmygod.” Her hand covered her mouth. “That’s why I can’t move anything or throw out any of that tea neither of us drinks… He didn’t just sleep with you, he’s in love with you.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Jory…I’m so jealous, and you…you’re so lucky.”
“I don’t have to sit here and listen to you.” I grabbed my coat and slid out of the booth.
“Jory, you should stay. I’ll go.”
But I didn’t look back because the tears had come fast, filling my eyes and slipping down my cheeks.
I took several deep breaths outside in front of the restaurant before I started hobbling down the street to find a cab.
“What are you doing?” he growled behind me.
I made sure that when he came around to face me, I turned away. “I’m going home. Go back inside and take care of Maggie. She’s all—”
“’Cause I called you baby.”
My head snapped up and my eyes met his.
He looked tired all of a sudden. “I didn’t even realize I said it until I got back to the table and she looked like she got slapped or something.”
“I told her you—”
“I know. She told me what you said. I appreciate it.”
“I—”
He took a step closer and took my chin in his hand, tilting my head up. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m fuckin’ exhausted.”
“Sam, I—”
“Let’s go.”
I just stood there, staring at him.
“She went home.” He gestured back at the restaurant.
“Why?”
His smile was sad. “Because when she asked me if I was in love with you, I said yes.”
All I could do was stare at him, up into his eyes.
“Actually, I think what I said was ‘God, yes.’”
“Sam, you don’t—”
His hand closed lightly around the side of my neck, his thumb sliding over my jaw. “Don’t be an idiot. Of course I love you. How could I not?”
I stopped breathing.
His eyes were so soft as he looked down at me. “Come home with me. Let me take care of you. Please. I’m begging you.”
There was no one alive strong enough to say no to that. Or maybe there was, but they didn’t love him with their entire heart and soul. “Okay.” I nodded, and he bent and swept me off my feet like I was a fairy-tale princess.
“Don’t—put me down!”
“Your ankle’s bad,” he grumbled, glaring down at me a moment before his gaze lifted to where he was going. “Shut the fuck up; the car’s right there.”
He dumped me into the seat, slamming the door shut, and I sat for a moment as he got in, holding on to the handle for dear life.
“What? What now?”
I rolled my head to look at him.
“Why’re you holding on so tight?”
“Because I should get out.”
“You’re not getting out,” he said, and I heard the automatic lock engage for good measure.
I didn’t want to argue with him. “It’s just gonna end badly. It always does.”
“Nope,” he grunted, starting the car. “Not this time.”
“Why not?” I sounded weary.
“For starters, because everybody’s gonna know about you. I already told my folks, so—”
“What?” I gasped.
“Hah!” he barked at me. “Didn’t see that coming, did ya, you cocky piece of shit? Always think you know everything… And put on your goddamn seat belt!”
I put it on in a daze, staring at his profile as he pulled away from the curb, easing his ridiculously big car into the street.
After a few minutes of us riding in silence, I asked him to explain what he’d said.
“About telling my folks about you? Is that what you mean?” he asked cheerfully.
“Don’t be a jerk. Just tell me.”
He huffed out a breath. “Yeah, so I told my mom all about us—all about you—and she said she was glad I told her but that she already knew.” Quick grunt.
“And I asked her how she knew, and she said I was another person when you were around. She said you bring out the very best in me.” He turned to glance at my face for a moment. “What more can you ask for?”
I was stunned and speechless. His mother was okay with me? And him? With him and me?
“And my dad said that as long as you were what I wanted, he was happy. He said he likes you, and he likes me better when you’re around.” He scoffed and glanced over at me again, his eyes back on the road seconds later. “Man, I must be a real prick when you’re not with me.”
I finally breathed.
“My dad told me that Maggie’s a nice girl and she deserves better than a man who’s in love with somebody else.” He gave me a longer look then as we were stopped at a light. “I would have to agree.”
I could barely control my excitement.
“So my family is okay. Rachel loved you, and you know Jen is crazy about you too, so…they’re good. Even Michael was cool. He couldn’t care less. He said he’s got more important things to do than worry about who I sleep with.”
He was quiet a moment.
“I was scared the most about them, but—” Long sigh. “—it’s okay. They’re all okay.”
“But Dominic and—”
“Yeah, well, he’s probably gonna be gone, but I can’t—I mean, I tried it their way. I tried to have the girl and be one of the guys and have everything like I always wanted it but…it’s no good.”
I reached for his hand, and he took it instantly, lacing his fingers with mine, holding tight. We drove in silence, heading for his place, and I was happy just sitting there beside him. Content to just be with him however he wanted or would let me be.
“I slept with Maggie, and it was just bad,” he said, his voice jarring after the long minutes of quiet. “She was into it, and I could tell she was, and I just…I wasn’t there. I thought I’d try…to make sure… I’m sure now,” he finished, squeezing my hand before he let it go.
“But—”
“And I know I was wrong,” he muttered, pulling over to the curb, parking the SUV in front of his building, in his spot that no one else ever parked in.
He was a police officer, after all. “And I know I don’t deserve another shot,” he told me, unbuckling his seat belt, turning in his seat to face me.
“But you gotta give me one. You know you’re supposed to belong to me. ”
I stared into his face, into the eyes I knew so well, and there was no realization or epiphany or anything else.
It was simply the truth, and I knew it because it hadn’t changed.
I was stuck on him. I couldn’t move forward with someone else because he had my heart.
No amount of logic or time or distance would change the fact that I was madly in love with Detective Sam Kage.
“If you send me away, I’ll just keep coming back. I want you with me all the time,” he said.
“And when were you gonna tell me all this? When was I gonna see you if I—”
“Tonight, tomorrow—I don’t know, J. I would’ve come as soon as I got up my nerve to talk to you. It’s scary to think you’re gonna hear no, and you’re so stubborn that—”
“It’s not my fault that you stayed away from me because you were trying to get me out of your system. Don’t blame our separation on my stubbornness,” I retorted, unbuckling my seat belt, careful not to hurl it off me.
“No, I don’t mean it like—”
“If you want to be with me, then it’s me, Sam. Not another woman, not another man, just me. Only me.”
“It is. Only you. I swear to God.”
I shook my head.
“You have to believe me. You can’t say no. Please don’t say no.”
I raked my hands through my hair. “How could it ever be no, Sam? I—”
He slipped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me forward into a kiss.
My lips parted as he slanted his mouth over mine.
He held me tight, his hand fisted in my hair, and he devoured my lips, biting, sucking, hungry for me.
I trembled in his arms, and I heard the rumble of satisfaction as his hands ran all over me.
Of course, the second I tried to get closer, to climb over the seat and get in his lap, I knocked my ankle against the door. Pain shot through me and I gasped.
“Uh-oh, baby, be careful.” He soothed me, kissing me again, his hand on my throat. “Lemme get you inside and we’ll get this iced up.”
“Kiss me more,” I begged him, whimpering, leaning forward.
“Jesus, you should see your eyes, and your mouth…” He trailed off, staring at me. “My beautiful baby… God, I could just look at you all night.”
“How ’bout you put me in your bed?”
“That too,” he promised. “And I will never let you go.” He leaned sideways and kissed me again, this time gently, slowly, like he had all the time in the world. “Oh yeah, you’re mine.” He smiled wide before he pulled me forward and hugged me tight. “I missed you so bad.”
I couldn’t speak around the lump in my throat. I just laid my head on his shoulder, hugged him back, and cried. The tears just rolled from my eyes.