Chapter 25 #2
Mary sank back against her chair, winded. Was that what Evan was doing? Had he deliberately not given her his number? He’d been so open and friendly once he’d thawed – but maybe he was just like that and it hadn’t meant anything. Her skin prickled.
‘Oh God, your face!’ Gina gasped. ‘Sorry. I’m not saying your guy is like that.’
‘It’s fine. I mean, he might be.’
‘What’s his name, anyway?’
‘Evan.’ There was no need to make something up – it was a common enough first name and there was no way Gina would suspect her Evan could be Evan Prentice, star of Spider-Man.
‘He called my mum when they were arranging the house swap. He could easily get my number from her if he wanted to.’
‘Don’t listen to me.’ Gina waved her hands frantically as if she could wipe out the words.
‘I’m sorry I said anything. If you think there’s a chance it might be something, you should go for it.
What have you got to lose? I mean, what’s a few minutes of humiliation compared to a lifetime of happiness? ’
Mary huffed a laugh. ‘You think I should pull a Juanita? Make some grand gesture?’
‘I’m suggesting you get his number and call him.
I wouldn’t call that a grand gesture.’ She smiled wryly.
‘But seriously – go for it. Don’t let what happened to me stop you.
I don’t regret trying. I mean, it could have turned out to be something great – at least I don’t have to regret not taking a chance. ’
‘I don’t think there’s any point in my case. I have reason to believe he’s back with his girlfriend.’
‘The cheater?’
Mary nodded. ‘She called him just before he left and they were talking for ages. He said they’d made it up.’
‘That could just mean they’re friends?’
Mary sighed. ‘I suppose. I don’t think so, though.’ She couldn’t admit to Gina that she could get information on the status of Evan’s relationship on the internet.
‘But he was still talking about meeting up with you here?’
‘Yeah, but he might have just meant as friends.’ She thought back to the words Evan had used, combing for clues. He’d said they should ‘hang out’, and he’d invited her to his New Year’s Eve party. There was nothing to suggest he intended anything more than a casual, platonic friendship.
‘He invited me to his place for New Year’s Eve.’
‘Are you going to go?’
‘No. I couldn’t face it.’ Olivia was bound to be there. She didn’t want to see them together.
‘Well, if you’re not going to the mysterious Evan’s party, a few of us are going to Pink Taco for dinner and drinks. I think there might be a spare ticket if you want to come along?’
‘Thanks, Gina. But I’m not really in the mood for partying. I think I’ll just stay in and have a quiet night.’ She’d ring in the new year at home, recharge her batteries and start afresh in January, ready to begin dating again and having new adventures. It’d be fun.
‘Good luck tonight!’ Gina called as they parted ways outside the office building that evening.
‘Thanks.’
Even though she knew Greg wouldn’t be there, Mary felt wobbly entering his apartment building. She’d spent so much time here over the last couple of years, it had been her second home. Yet it felt distant already, like it was from another life.
She made her way up to the fifth floor in the elevator, feeling weird that this would be the last time. She let herself into Greg’s apartment and walked down the hall – and gasped as she found Greg sitting at the table in his living room. He stood as she entered, shoving his hands into his pockets.
‘Greg! You’re not—’
‘I know, I’m not supposed to be here.’ He held up a hand placatingly.
‘You said you’d be out.’
‘I know, I know.’
Mary looked around wildly, her heart pounding with a mixture of anxiety and rage.
‘Juanita isn’t here,’ Greg said, as if reading her mind.
That was something at least. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I just had to talk to you. Please? You’re not answering my calls and—’
‘There’s a reason for that,’ she said stiffly. ‘I don’t want to talk to you.’
‘I know you must hate me. But I just had to tell you how sorry I am. Can we just talk for a moment, please?’
Mary sighed wearily. ‘I just want to get my stuff and go. That’s all I’m here for.’
‘I’ve already boxed it all up,’ he said, nodding to a large moving carton by the door. ‘I’ll take it down for you if you want to go. But can you please just stay and talk for a moment?’
Mary sighed defeatedly. ‘Fine.’ She unwound her scarf and sank down on the sofa. Greg took the armchair opposite.
‘I’m really sorry, Mary.’ He leaned towards her earnestly, hands clasped on his knees. ‘I never meant to hurt you. I know I handled it really badly. But Ita turning up like that… It was a shock.’
‘I’ll say.’
‘I should have… I don’t know. Told her to leave, broken up with you properly. I just couldn’t think straight.’
‘Because you were so happy,’ she said, surprised at the bitterness in her voice.
He sighed, hanging his head. ‘I was. I can’t deny it. But I was also torn apart because I knew I was hurting you. I just couldn’t help myself.’
She nodded. ‘Because you’re in love with Juanita. I get it. Honestly, Greg, you don’t need to explain it to me.’
He heaved a sigh. ‘But I want you to know that what we had – it was real. I meant it. I honestly thought we had a future together. I did love you, Mary. Truly.’
She swallowed hard. ‘Just not enough.’ Not as much as he’d loved Juanita.
‘No. I’m sorry.’
He was obviously in an agony of guilt, and she felt a pang of pity for him.
But she realised that was all she felt now.
‘I loved you too, Greg,’ she said slowly, picking at the cushion of the sofa.
‘But maybe not enough either.’ She’d realised in just a few short days that it was possible to feel so much more – that it was effortless when you were with the right person and you didn’t have to try or work at it.
If she was honest with herself, maybe he’d never been a main character in her story either. He’d been the one before the one.
‘So… you’re not heartbroken?’ He looked up at her hopefully through his lashes.
She smiled sadly. ‘No. Not over you.’
Greg took her moving box down in the lift and helped her get a cab.
On the street, she handed him his keys and they said goodbye.
As the cab pulled away and she watched Greg walk back into his building, Mary felt deflated.
But what she’d said to Greg was true. She wasn’t heartbroken – not over him – and she wondered if she’d ever been truly in love with him.
She saw now that it had been about the fact of him as much as who he was.
He’d been part of the excitement of her new life here, her New York boyfriend, along with her job and her apartment and her new friends.
He was so wrapped up in all that, it was hard to separate out her feelings for him.
But he’d only been a piece of that, not the whole of it, and when you took that piece out, the rest still held together.
As they neared her apartment, something in her peripheral vision caught Mary’s eye and she turned to the window.
Her breath caught as she found herself looking at a giant billboard advertising the Spider-Man series, a life-size image of Evan in an action pose atop a skyscraper.
She couldn’t see his face, of course, but she knew it was him behind the mask, his body in the skintight suit, and she felt a stab of yearning.
Great, she thought wearily. So now she had a Spider-Man fetish. Thanks a bunch, Evan.