Chapter 14 #3
“I’m clever, Olivia, but I can’t foresee everything.” A small smile tugs at his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It was a coincidence that we met there. But I might have taken advantage of the matter.”
The admission hits me like a physical blow. I feel dizzy, unmoored. “What about needing someone to show your family?” My voice is sharper now, anger threading through the confusion because anger is easier than this raw feeling clawing at my chest. “You said you needed a fake girlfriend.”
“That’s true. It would be ideal.” He steps closer, and I can smell his sandalwood cologne mixed with the scent of snow. Can see the individual snowflakes caught in his dark hair. “But I would rather introduce you as my girlfriend than my fake girlfriend.”
I’m stunned into silence. My thoughts are racing so fast I can’t catch hold of any single one. The world narrows to just him, just us, standing in front of this massive Christmas tree with its twinkling lights casting shadows across his face, making him look almost ethereal.
“Why?” The word comes out as barely more than a whisper, and I hate how small I sound. How desperate.
“What do you mean, why?”
“What has this whole thing been?” My voice rises, and a couple walking past glances our way. I don’t care. Let them look. Let the whole town see me falling apart. “You’ve been lying to me.”
“No.” His voice is firm, almost harsh. “I haven’t been lying.”
“Then what—”
Before I can finish, my scarf comes undone—whether from the wind or his hands, I’m not sure. He catches the ends and uses them to pull me closer until we’re barely inches apart, until I can see the silver flecks in his eyes and count his eyelashes.
“I’ve been waiting years for you,” he says, his voice low and intense, and I feel the words vibrate through me.
“If I was a lesser man, I would have pursued you even while you were dating Chase.” My heart stops.
Completely stops. I can feel the exact moment it happens, the pause between beats that stretches into eternity.
“I’ve loved you for six years, Olivia. And you never knew.”
Six years.
Six. Years.
I’m trembling now, and not from the cold. My whole body is shaking, and I don’t know if I want to hit him or kiss him or run away and never look back. “You never let on.”
“That’s why I kept my distance.” His grip on the scarf tightens slightly, and I can feel the tension in his fingers. “But when I found out Chase was out of the picture, I had to jump in. This was the only opportunity I had.”
‘The only opportunity.’ Like I’m some kind of limited-time offer. The thought should make me angry, but instead it makes my throat tighten and my eyes burn.
“Why not just ask me out like a normal person?” The question bursts out of me, frustration and confusion warring in my chest, making it hard to breathe. “Why all this? Why the deception?”
“Would you have said yes?”
I freeze. The question hangs between us, heavy and damning. Would I have? Before all this, before I knew him like this? Before I’d seen him laugh with my father and charm my mother and hold me like I was precious?
The answer is no, and we both know it.
“If you liked my money, it would have worked,” he continues, reading my silence correctly.
His voice is matter-of-fact, but I can hear the hurt underneath.
“But you never cared for my money, and I didn’t want to be tempted to pursue you when I knew you were committed to somebody.
So I kept you at arm’s length. It was easier to make you dislike me. ”
The words cut through me. Dislike him? Have I ever disliked him? I think about the Alexander from the office—demanding, exacting, always pushing for more. Always so controlled, so distant.
“I never disliked you, Alexander.” The words tumble out before I can stop them, raw and honest. “I’ve always admired you.”
He laughs, but it’s a quick, brittle sound that cracks something inside my chest. The sound is so unexpected, so unguarded, that it makes my heart hurt. “I’ve been a demanding boss. A harsh one at times. I know you would never have given me a chance.”
“Then who is the real Alexander?”
“The one you worked with to get my business back on its feet,” he says simply. “The one who’s been here.”
The anger that had begun to ebb away rises hot and fierce in my chest. He deceived me.
I’m angry, not just because of that but because he’s right, angry because my mother’s words are echoing in my head about being hurt to find the right person.
I think about how he’s treated me here—the way he’s cared for my family, the way he’s held me, the way he looks at me like I’m the only person in the world.
Every moment has been real for him while I thought we were playing pretend.
“I don’t like that you deceived me,” I say finally, and my voice breaks on the last word.
“I understand.”
We stand there in silence, snow falling around us like we’re trapped in a snow globe.
The Christmas tree lights blur in my peripheral vision, turning into streaks of gold and red and green.
I can hear carolers somewhere in the distance, their voices rising in harmony, and it feels absurd that the world is continuing on when mine is fracturing apart.
“What do you want from me?” I ask, and I’m not sure if I’m begging or demanding.
“Everything.”
My hands clench into fists, my nails digging into my palms. The sharp pain grounds me. “You keep saying that, but what does that mean?”
He’s quiet for a moment, and I watch something shift in his expression—like he’s finally letting down the last of his walls.
Like I’m seeing the real Alexander Castellano, stripped of all his defenses.
He takes my hand, gently prying my fingers open, and I realize I’m shaking.
He brings my hand to his lips. His eyes never leave mine as he kisses my knuckles, and the gesture is so tender, so reverent, that tears prick at my eyes.
“I want your future,” he says, his voice rough with emotion. Each word sounds like it’s being pulled from somewhere deep inside him. “I want everything with you. I want you to be mine. And I want to be yours.”
My cheeks flush hot despite the cold, heat spreading down my neck and across my chest. My heart is pounding so hard I think it might break through my ribs. “You can’t say it like that.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t understand you at all.” My voice cracks, and a tear escapes, tracking hot down my cold cheek.
“This is who I am.” His voice is steady, certain, and he reaches up to catch the tear with his thumb. The gentleness of the gesture nearly undoes me. “For you, I will always be this Alexander.”
He pauses, and for the first time since I’ve known him, he looks uncertain. Exposed. Human in a way I’ve never seen him before.
“Can I have you?” His voice is rough, almost tentative. “Really have you?”
My chest squeezes at the way he’s asking me, the way he’s phrased this question. Of course my answer would be ye—
Reality crashes back like a bucket of ice water. My job. My career. Everything I’ve worked for. “What about my job?”
“No matter what your answer is, I will never fire you.”
“If I reject you?” I see the flash of pain in his eyes—sharp and immediate—and my heart hurts. Actually hurts, like someone’s squeezing it in their fist. His jaw tightens, and for a moment he looks away, like he can’t bear to hold my gaze.
“Even then.” The words are quiet, resigned, and I realize what it cost him to say them. What it’s costing him to stand here and lay himself bare while I hold all the power.
I take a step toward him, closing the distance between us. My boots crunch in the snow. “And if I say yes? What does it mean?”
For the first time, he looks off balance. Lost. “Whatever you wish. Whatever you want.”
I reach up and pull my scarf from around my neck, the blue fabric soft against my cold fingers. Then I loop it around his instead, the movement unhurried. The blue fabric looks good against his beige coat, festive and warm. Using it as leverage, I pull him down toward me.
“Olivia—” His eyes widen, surprise flickering across his face for just a moment before I close the distance.
I kiss him, deep and thorough, pouring everything I can’t say into it.
The fear, the hope, the tentative belief that maybe—maybe—this could work.
That maybe I can be brave enough to trust again.
To love again. His lips are cold at first, but they warm quickly under mine, and I taste snow and coffee and something uniquely him.
When I pull back, we’re both breathing hard, our breath mingling in clouds between us. His hands have come up to frame my face, his thumbs stroking my cheeks, and I lean into the touch.
“That,” I whisper against his lips, my voice shaking but sure, “is my answer.”
His arms come around me immediately, crushing me against him with a desperation that steals my breath. I can feel his heart pounding against my chest, matching the rhythm of my own. Feel the tremor in his hands as he holds me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear.
Above us, the Christmas tree sparkles with a thousand lights, and somewhere nearby, church bells begin to chime. The snow falls heavier now, blanketing the world in white, and I close my eyes and let myself feel this moment. This impossible, perfect, terrifying moment.
Everything about this feels like falling and flying at the same time.
But I’m saying yes anyway.