19. Chapter 19
Chapter 19
“ A nyi.” It’s someone forcefully yelling my name that jolts me from sleep. I spring up, my breathing heavy, my body shaking and my fists bunching the sheets as the nightmare gives way to the sight of Raven circling me with panic in her movements.
“It was just a dream, Anna,” she urges as she comes to land on my shoulder.
But it wasn’t her I heard yelling. “Open this door, Anyi,” Orpheus demands.
Still disoriented and shaking, I realize I must have been yelling in my sleep. Fuck .
Before I can even open my mouth, I hear a loud thud and the door comes flying open, Orpheus’s body filling the doorframe.
“No,” I urge as I retreat back in the bed, pulling the covers over myself and vigorously shaking my head. “I’m fine , you can leave.”
The frown on his face as he drags his eyes down my body tells me I don’t exactly seem fine, but I hate it so much, that he’s seeing me shaken up like this. “I’m serious,” I grit out, raising my voice and throwing daggers at him, “just go away, please .”
Without a word, he clenches his jaw, but he does as he’s told, doing his best to close the broken door behind him.
Damn it, I curse myself.
“You can leave now, too, Raven,” I tell her in a voice so hollow, I barely recognize it.
“I will not,” she replies, and she sounds so determined, I just don’t find it in me to argue. I just lower my head back on the pillow and fix my eyes on the ceiling.
For a while, I just keep lying there, tired yet unable to go back to sleep. It’s a bright winter morning outside, but whenever I look out, all I see are the shadows creeping up on me in near darkness.
And whatever I try to think about, my mind just rushes back to the man I know is still outside my door.
Slowly losing my mind, I perk up as soon as I hear the sound of the front door opening. There’s a moment of silence before I hear Urryse’s voice drift over to me. “What in the name of the Holy Word is happening here?”
I sit up. Damn it, she’s just what I needed right now.
“What are you doing here, Mother?” I hear her son say, not even trying to hide how un welcome she is.
“I’m here to see your wife, Orpheus,” she replies, making me exchange a look with Raven, frowning. “Why are you out here in the hall?” she asks.
“It’s none of your concern,” he snaps.
I get up, thinking it might be safest to just go greet her. Who knows what the woman is capable of? And I really don’t want her barging into my room.
Taking a deep breath, I say bye to Raven and walk over to the door, forcing myself to open it with an almost cheerful smile plastered on my face.
Both pairs of eyes snap to me. “Why good morning,” Urryse says sweetly, while her son just keeps inspecting me with this weird look on his face.
“Morning,” I reply, spotting her eyes darting to the door behind me, squinting.
It’s probably the only reason it takes me so long to notice the bunch of servants gathered out on the terrace, seemingly keeping watch over… an entire assortment of chairs, sofas, commodes?
“Oh don’t mind the servants, darling,” Urryse tells me. “I’ve acquired some new furniture for your sitting room. Isn’t it marvelous?” She takes me by the upper arm, making Orpheus roll his eyes. “I thought you and I could discuss the layout.”
I gently break my arm free. “Thank you, but I’m afraid I have a rather busy day ahead.”
With that, I move for the front door.
Orpheus comes to block my way. “Where are you going?” he demands in a low voice.
“To the Library, it’s in less than half an hour that I’m expected.”
“I don’t think you should leave the house.”
“Agree to disagree.”
“Anyi—”
I shake my head, trying to be gentle yet firm as I say, “I’ll be eternally grateful for what you did last night, Orpheus, but I’m not your problem, and I’ll be moving out today anyway.”
I don’t wait for his reaction. I walk out the front door, weave my way between all the servants and start going down the steps.
It’s only once I’m around a third way down that I remember, stopping midstep with a slight smile curling my lips. My Runes glowing, I focus on all the parts making up my body and I dart down, finding myself back on solid ground in a matter of seconds.
At least one good thing to come out of all this.
*
With unseeing eyes, I keep trying to focus on reshelving the books stacked on my trolley. I’ve been spending the shift in a haze, attacked by random memories.
The scotch in his kitchen cabinet.
That messy yet confident handwriting.
His hand spinning the pencil.
His mouth saying the word, “Pity.”
The way he tugged my head back to whisper into the corner of my lips.
I shake my head, grabbing another book off the trolley and trying to force myself to think about something else, anything else.
Because it doesn’t matter. He is not Jericho and I am not even supposed to be here. So what I need to do right now is keep trying to figure out a way to go back to my own time.
“Your Grace.” The voice is soft and timid, but it still makes me jolt.
I spin around, finding Joseph standing in front of me, blinking at me. “Yes?” I ask.
“If you’d come with me, please.”
I frown. “What is this regarding?”
“My apologies, Your Grace, I’ve been instructed not to say.”
Perfect, that’s always a good sign, isn’t it?
Still, I nod, push the trolley back to the Service Desk and follow him out of the Library. It doesn’t surprise me when he leads me out of the castle and straight for the Ydril Tower.
But it does when he doesn’t lead me inside, instead taking me around and straight into the forest bordering the eastern shore of the Sobbing Lake.
I keep following him down the narrow forest path, but I’m frowning, wondering if I should be getting worried.
Just as I open my mouth to demand he tell me where he’s taking me, we enter a little grove and I stop midstep, my jaw dropping open.
To my right, there’s the opening in the foliage showing the shimmering surface of the lake. All around me, there are these gorgeous trees in bloom, their white flowers weighing the delicate branches down. And at the center of the grove, there’s Orpheus, standing there clad in this traditional fae outfit that makes him look so dreamy, it’s hard to believe he’s not a figment of my imagination.
But it’s the flush on his face that sends the alarms blaring in my head.
Nervous, he’s nervous .
My head snaps back, the fact that the servant seems to have disappeared without a trace only serving to confirm my suspicions.
“No,” I whisper as I turn my eyes back onto Orpheus.
Vigorously shaking my head as the alarms keep going on in my head, I turn on my heel and start heading back, but that only makes him appear right in front of me. “Wait,” he says softly, “I won’t be asking you to tell me anything you’re not ready to tell me, but I do believe you owe it to me to at least listen to what I have to say.”
“I already know what it is, Orpheus,” I protest, albeit weakly.
He shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”
And I really don’t think this is a good idea, but maybe I did misinterpret all this, and besides, I find myself unable to say no to the plea in his eyes. “Alright.”
Letting out a pent-up breath, he takes the smallest step back and glances around, running his hand through his hair. There’s still that flush on his face as he starts, “These flowers are said to signify fateful encounters, but that’s not why I chose the spot.” He hesitates for a moment, then locks eyes with me. “I chose it because I came to rest here on the day of the Opening Ceremony, the very last day I spent not knowing you even existed and the very last one I spent not realizing I was mere hours away from having my entire life turned upside down.”
I almost stumble back when I see him get on one knee, taking something small out of his waistcoat pocket and holding it out for me to see. A ring. “I know we’re already married, Anyi, but I never did propose, did I?” he asks softly.
I just keep looking at the ring, dumbfounded.
“I made it myself,” I hear him say, “but it should —”
“No, Orpheus,” I cut him off, finally forcing myself to snap out of it. “ Listen to me . You don’t want this.”
Looking up at me with the ring still held out, he asks, a touch of apprehension in his voice, “What are you talking about?”
I throw my hands up. “Come on. You spend months ignoring me, then you learn about the Aurora thing, and all of a sudden you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” I let out a scoff. “ Please. ”
The flush on his face grows darker. He gets up. “ All of a sudden ?” he urges as he comes closer. “How can you even say that, Anyi, especially after last night?”
I roll my eyes and fold my arms. “Well pardon me, I guess I somehow forgot about the deep, deep feelings for me that you expressed more than, what, twenty four hours ago ?”
His jaw clenches, but it’s still soft, the look he throws me. “I’ve been expressing my feelings for you from the very beginning, Anyi.”
I frown. Then I realize he’s referring to all the things he’s been saying about his wife being the only one for him, yadda yadda. I let out an incredulous laugh. “And now you’re rewriting your own memories. That was all an act, Orpheus. The part about not believing in love, that was real.”
He looks at me like I’m being insufferably daft. “Both were true.” He throws his arms open. “In the name of the Holy Word, woman, can’t someone feel something and be skeptical about it at the same time?”
“I think you better listen to the skeptical part of yourself, Orpheus,” I snap.
He shakes his head. “Even when we’d only just met,” he urges, “that part of me wasn’t nearly strong enough, Anyi.” He hesitates for a moment, running his hand down his face. “Listen, you might come to hate me for this, but it wasn’t my mother who signaled to the Academy Guard to restrain you, it was me. I saw an opportunity and I failed to resist taking it.”
With everything that’s going on, the confession doesn’t exactly come as a huge surprise. “Yes,” I reply flatly, “the opportunity to get yourself the least troublesome wife of them all.”
“No—” He cuts himself off, gritting his teeth and shaking his head. “I tried to explain it away because it had all seemed so absurd to me,” he starts in this pained voice, “but I took one look at you and knew you were the only woman I ever wished to marry.” He takes a step closer, dropping his voice. “I know exactly what I want and it’s the only thing I really do — for this to be real , Anyi.”
I don’t hesitate. “It will never be real,” I tell him firmly, “but I can assure you, it won’t be long after we get a divorce that you’ll meet someone else and forget all about me.”
“I don’t want anyone else,” he protests in a low, soft voice, “I only want you. I love everything about you — how strong and smart and kind you are, I love the chaos you brought into my house, I love taking care of you.”
I shake my head. “I’m not the woman for you, Orpheus. I already had a mate, his name was Jericho and the plan is to keep spending all my time trying to get him back.”
I watch a muscle in his jaw jump. He takes a moment to collect himself. “There’s no changing the past, Anyi. You’re never getting him back, but I’m here, I’m your mate as well.”
“No, you’re not. I mean, technically you are, but you’re not. You’re the Aurora’s mate, but not this incarnation of the Aurora.”
There’s that flush on his face again. “I don’t understand you,” he grits out. “There are countless women out there who’d give everything to be in your place and you’d rather die alone than be my wife?”
It’s a deeply incredulous look that I throw him. “You know exactly what you’re doing by phrasing it that way, but if you think I’ll be indulging you, you’re sorely mistaken.”
It startles me, when he comes to grab my upper arm, getting so close, he’s whispering in my ear, “Fine, just say yes, please, I don’t care about the rest of it.”
I make him let go and step away, shaking my head. “No.”
He just looks at me for a second. “You seriously won’t even be giving me a chance?” he asks in a hollow voice.
Deciding it would be better to be cruel than kind, I lock eyes with him and make my tone final, “Listen to me very carefully. Even in his death, Jericho is the only man for me.”
There’s that muscle jumping again, now coupled with his nostrils flaring. “Am I really so abhorrent to you?”
I frown. “ Abhorrent ?”
“What else am I supposed to think?” he grits out, turning cold and authoritative. “Regardless of what you say, I am your mate, we’re already married and I’m telling you I’d give all my love to you, and still you refuse me?”
“ All your love ?” I let out a laugh. “You don’t care about me, Orpheus, you’re too goddamn selfish for that. You know what this is? This is just a continuation of your conspiring to get me to marry you — wanting something for yourself and being willing to force it. Otherwise, you’d let it go as soon as I told you Jericho was the only—”
It makes my heart jump to my throat when he gets in my face, grabbing my wrist and growling, “Say his name one more time and I swear on the Holy Word…”
For one long moment, we just keep throwing daggers at each other. “You fucking brat,” I finally spit out.
“Brat?” he grits out. He lets go of my wrist and takes a moment to get it together.
He seems to fail, because the next thing I know, he’s clenching his jaw, his Runes are glowing and all the beautiful trees around me are rapidly withering until we’re left standing in what looks more like a graveyard.
I only have time to blink at him once before he lets out an angry grunt and storms out of the grove, leaving me fantasizing about all the ways I could get his royal ass kicked.
*
It’s only hours after the charming proposal that I calm down enough to start thinking about my next steps. My aching feet have taken me to the bottom of Graf Hill, but it’s with hesitation that I look up at the top.
This morning, I told him I’d be moving out, but dusk is gathering, I still haven’t taken any steps in that direction and I’m so tired from spending the entire afternoon walking around.
Maybe I could just sneak into my room and spend another night there. I need to change out of these clothes so badly. And even if I stumble onto him, he’s probably come to his senses by now.
I take a deep breath and use my newly discovered power to get to the top, the wind whipping my face as I whiz up the steps.
The sounds that greet me make me stop for a moment, frowning at the house in front of me. They’re louder than ever, an entire cacophony piercing my ears even from the outside.
And somehow, I just know it. These are the sounds of pouting .
I roll my eyes, get inside and go straight to my room. I grab a change of clothes and a piece of paper, scribbling, “I’ll be spending the night at Lorcan’s.”
I leave the note on the kitchen table and I get the hell out of there.