23. Chapter 23
After their ride, Laura took to her bed, afflicted by another headache, and she did not reappear that evening.
Kitty was not surprised. Her friend had seemed out of sorts all afternoon.
Was Laura being forced into a match with William against her will?
Did that explain the contradiction in her behaviour—alternating between flirting and trying to avoid him?
Kitty withdrew to the drawing room alone after dinner, leaving the gentlemen at the table.
She busied herself with her embroidery, hoping for a chance of conversation with William when they joined her.
Perhaps even another starlit walk. It wasn’t wise to hope, but she could not help herself.
Though she would ultimately face the rejection she normally guarded against, she craved every moment of his company.
But the evening brought only disappointment.
Hugh kept William at his wine for so long that Kitty gave up and went to bed.
Laura failed to come down to breakfast the next day and stayed in her room all morning.
As the afternoon progressed, and she still did not appear, Kitty feared her friend was truly unwell.
Was it a matter of the heart which had brought on Laura’s headache?
If she was so averse to the match with William that it was making her ill, dare Kitty hope she could be persuaded to give him up?
She might be wrong, but she needed to find out. Even if she was right, her persuasion might fail, but she had to try. For William’s sake. And for her own—but she refused to admit that even to herself.
Kitty went up to Laura’s bedchamber, and Sutton responded to her knock.
“May I have a word with Miss Barrington, please?”
Weeping emanated from inside the room. “Let her in,” said Laura between sobs.
Her friend was curled up in her bed, hugging her arms to her chest.
Kitty sat down beside her. “Whatever is the matter?”
“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
She reached out a hand and stroked her hair. “I’m sure it can be resolved.”
“No, it can’t. He doesn’t love me.”
“Who doesn’t love you?”
Laura stared down at the bedcover, silent apart from the occasional sniff.
Her friend was going to leave her guessing, was she?
It was not hard to work out. She could only mean one of two men, and Mr Jenkin was so obviously in love with her that she must be talking about William.
But why was she so upset about it? Unless she had rejected the preventive officer only to discover that the Viscount didn’t care for her.
If that were the case, it should be easier to persuade her to give him up than Kitty had feared.
“Then don’t marry him.”
Laura sniffed hard. “It’s too late for that.”
“No, it’s not. Tell your father how you feel.”
“I can’t! I’m afraid of him. He’s made no secret of what he wants.”
Kitty could not blame her for not wanting to face Hugh’s wrath at having his plans overset.
“Then share your feelings with the man himself. If he is as honourable as I believe him to be, you may trust him to do what’s right.
If you don’t follow your heart, you will lament your decision for the rest of your life. ”
Her friend sat up in bed and wiped her eyes. “You’re right. I will speak to him. Tell him how much I love him and trust that I am mistaken about his feelings.”
All the air fled from Kitty’s lungs, leaving her gasping for breath.
If she had not heard Laura say she loved William, she would not have believed it.
All hope that her friend would give him up vanished.
She would not try to persuade her otherwise.
If Laura loved him that much, he would learn to love her back.
Oblivious to the pain her words had caused, Laura was already out of bed. Kitty could not bear to look at her.
“I must dress. Speak to him. Alone. Tell him I’ll wait at the top of the path that leads down to the beach. He will come, won’t he?”
“He’ll come.” Kitty would make sure of it. “Share how you feel, and I’m certain everything will work out just fine.”
For them—but not for her.
After taking a few minutes to compose herself, Kitty went in search of William. There was no point trying to slow the course of events. The drawing room was empty. So was the breakfast room. Could he be working on the copy of the portrait?
She walked back upstairs to the Long Gallery. The door at the end of the corridor was ajar, and as she moved toward it, she could hear voices coming from inside.
“Your work has surpassed my expectations, Droxford.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Hugh was with him. She would have to tell William to go in search of Laura in front of an audience. But what did it matter now? Laura’s father would not object.
“I am aware that my daughter is beautiful, but this—this is a portrait of a woman in love. Only a man in love could capture that expression.”
Kitty’s heart squeezed. Don’t say anything, William. Do not force me to hear you confess your affection for Laura when I know you feel nothing for her.
“I believe—”
She could stand it no longer. Hurrying through the open doorway, she collided with William, stopping him from saying more.
His hands grasped her arms to steady her, and heat soared through her body at the tenderness of his touch.
How comforting it was to have him hold her. Comforting, but decidedly unhelpful.
She pulled away and plastered a sweet smile on her face.
“I’m sorry for making such an entrance. I was eager not to miss your praise of Lord Droxford’s masterpiece and missed my footing.” On purpose, but he didn’t need to know that.
“My dear Catherine, I am flattered my opinion means so much to you.”
It had not been her intention to give that impression, but she would stomach the assumption if it saved William from lying.
“I was telling his lordship what a joy it is to see the result of his devotion.”
The die was cast. Hugh had raised the stakes, challenging William to deny he loved Laura. Kitty screamed silently at him to do just that—but deep down, she knew he would not. He could not.
That was a course he would only take if Laura rejected his offer—and she wasn’t going to do that.
It was agony to stand there and say nothing with Kitty looking on.
William wanted to shout out that she was the one he loved, but duty held him back.
His obsession with taking Laura’s portrait and capturing that breathtaking expression had been his downfall.
It had been a misguided devotion, blinding him to the affection growing inside him.
Just as his mother had warned, he had been so busy painting that he had failed to realise Kitty was the love of his life until too late. His reckless flirting had committed him to the wrong woman, and now he had to do the honourable thing and offer for her.
As the silence lengthened, Hugh’s smile widened.
“It will be such a delight to gaze on my daughter’s radiant face after she has married and flown the nest. Droxford is copying the portrait for me to have on display while the original is at the Royal Academy. Is that not so, your lordship?”
The man still thought it was the painting that bent him to his will, but it was not. It was his honour—and from that, there was no escape. “It is.”
“Excellent. Then waste no more time. Make her yours.”
“You’ll find Laura on the cliff path, Lord Droxford,” said Kitty. Her face was pale, her eyes not quite meeting his. “She’s waiting for you at the top of the trackway down to the cove.”
Miss Barrington was waiting for him? Then his fate was sealed. His only chance—and it had been a slim possibility at best—had been if she refused him.
“Please excuse me,” said Kitty. “I am a little tired.”
With a quick curtsey, she glided from the room.
He wanted to follow her. To tell her—but what could he say? His hands were tied.
Mr Barrington gestured toward the door. “Don’t hold back on my account. Go. With my blessing.”
William bowed stiffly and fled the Long Gallery, far less elegantly than Kitty had exited. After retrieving his hat, he headed for the garden. He passed through the gate leading to the cliff path and came to a halt. Kitty was waiting for him.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I tried to free you—”
“Why?” asked William, though he knew he shouldn’t. “Why did you try?”
“Because I didn’t want you to marry out of obligation rather than love.”
He searched her eyes for a warmth he had no right to seek. “Is that all?”
She turned away from him. “Is that not enough? As your friend, I had to make the attempt.”
“I ought not to ask, but I wondered…if I were free…if we could be more than friends.”
“How dare you pose such a question, Lord Droxford?”
The formality of her address bit, but it didn’t deter him. “I know it’s unfair, but—”
“Are you not satisfied with Laura’s affection? Do you need mine as well?”
The only woman whose love he wanted was Kitty. “Miss Barrington is not in love with me.”
“Oh, but she is. She told me herself, and you must learn to love her back. Forget any thought of loving anyone else. It is cruel to taunt me with impossible dreams.”
“Then you—”
“Go. She is waiting for you. She won’t refuse your offer. Make her happy. God bless you, William.”
She fled through the gate into the garden. He stood staring out to sea, not seeing. Why had he thought it would be satisfying to know that Kitty might have been his if he had not thrown any chance of a life with her away? He wished he hadn’t asked.
William walked along the cliff path toward the place where he’d first seen Miss Barrington. There she was, standing with her back to him, near the top of the path down to the beach.
She must have heard his footsteps. “You came,” she said as she turned to face him, her gaze alight with that glow he had painted. The look of love. He could see why she’d dazzled him the first time they’d met, but it stirred nothing within him now apart from regret.