Chapter 12
The next morning I still felt numb. It was Thursday, and I hadn’t heard from Lord Gotthurst.
“I’m sure he and his mother and sister will call on you today or tomorrow,” Juliet was saying. “And I think my brother must surely have been lying, although I can’t think why he would, except to shame me.” Her chin trembled slightly, then stilled.
“Has he ever lied to you before?” I chanced to ask. “Or tried to shame you?”
“No . . . no.” Juliet looked out the window. “It’s not raining. Come. Let’s walk to the park. Better yet, let’s visit Marianne and Robert. They will be able to distract us, and they won’t mind us coming so early in the morning. We can return home before calling hours.”
I agreed, only because I was so miserable. “But we’ll have to ask your brother to go with us.”
“I refuse to speak to him.”
“We will need someone to accompany us.”
Juliet blew out an aggressive breath. “I’ll ask the housekeeper, then.”
Juliet found Mrs. Smith in the kitchen.
“I can only spare your lady’s maid, Barreau, but she is no suitable chaperone for ladies such as yourselves.” She frowned at Juliet. “Tell your brother to hire someone for going out with you.”
“Hire who?” Jeremy suddenly appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.
Juliet had that fiery look again, and she turned and brushed past her brother without another word.
I went after her, unsure what to say or do.
Jeremy was right behind me.
“Where are you going, Juliet?” he said.
“Away from you!” she said.
“Listen to me. I’ll hire a widow to be your companion and go places with you, but you have to listen to her and—”
Juliet spun around on her heel. I plastered myself against the wall to get out of the way as she stuck her finger in Jeremy’s face.
“You have humiliated me. How could you tell a gentleman such as Mr. Shelley to pay attention to me in order to help me ‘retain my respectability’? How could you do that?”
“I was trying to help you, to do what would benefit you and Miss Moore. I never—”
“And how could you tell Miss Moore that Lord Gotthurst had no intentions toward her? She cried herself to sleep last night.”
I felt my cheeks start to burn. I’d thought Juliet was asleep and hadn’t heard.
“You are cruel, Jeremy.”
“I wasn’t trying to be cruel.” The defiant edge was completely gone from his voice now. He looked at me. “Please forgive me, Miss Moore, for my insensitivity.”
“Insensitive is correct,” Juliet went on. “You were insensitive. I’ll have you know, Amelia is the best friend I’ve ever had. And you—”
“I know, Juliet.”
“You have accused her of . . . well, she is the best person in this room, in this house. She has been more loyal to me than I deserved.” Juliet’s voice cracked.
“I’m sorry, Juliet, Miss Moore. Please forgive me for all of my false accusations and insensitive behavior. I have no way of knowing what Lord Gotthurst’s intentions are.”
He said the words in a very quiet manner. He did look sincere, but I couldn’t help feeling humiliated.
“I was trying to help, and for that reason, if you can believe me, I hope you will forgive me. I was trying to help,” he repeated.
“Of course,” I said softly. I did believe him. And I just wanted this uncomfortable moment to be over.
“Give me a few days. I’ll make inquiries and find a chaperone for you,” Jeremy said. “But for now, I’ll take you to Robert and Marianne’s house.”
Juliet folded her arms over her chest. “Very well.”
It was an awkward carriage ride to the Lynch home. When we arrived, Jeremy and Robert left the room so he could fetch his newest “prize,” just delivered from the taxidermist, and Juliet relayed the recent events surrounding Mr. Shelley and Lord Gotthurst.
“And now Jeremy says he will get us a chaperone. She will come not a moment too soon for me, for I am so angry with him.”
“By the sound of it, he was only being a good older brother,” Marianne said with an apologetic half smile.
“Marianne, how can you say that to me? Do you understand how humiliating it will be to see Mr. Shelley again? How can I face him? And I was in love with him.”
“If you are in love with him, then you’ll be able to face him.
Besides, he didn’t have to continue to see you after he and Lord Gotthurst danced with you at the ball.
It seems Jeremy’s plan worked. And not only did it work, but apparently Mr. Shelley and Lord Gotthurst did indeed enjoy your company and continued to seek you out. ”
“Then why isn’t Mr. Shelley calling on me now? I haven’t seen him all week. And Lord Gotthurst doesn’t seem to be the type of person to lie and say he wanted to introduce his mother and then simply never call again.”
“Perhaps he is busy. Aren’t his mother and sister visiting from Yorkshire? And the week isn’t over yet.”
“That is true,” I said. “Perhaps he will come today or tomorrow.” I didn’t want to give up hope.
“Or you could always call on him. It would not be improper, especially given the number of times he has called on you.”
“I don’t think I’m brave enough for that,” I said. If he truly didn’t wish to see me or introduce me to his mother, it would be the ultimate humiliation to have him snub me and say he wasn’t home, or to have him treat me coldly. No, I couldn’t call on him.
We spent an hour with them and were home by eleven o’clock to await any callers.
At about three, a woman and her young unmarried daughter came, no doubt to call on Jeremy, although on the pretense of visiting Juliet, but Juliet told the servant to tell them we weren’t home.
I didn’t like that she did that. What if Lord Gotthurst came calling just behind them and heard that we weren’t home?
But I knew that was unlikely. Just to be sure, I stood a few steps from the window, hopefully far enough away that someone on the street wouldn’t see me, and watched for Lord Gotthurst. But he did not come.
At five o’clock, my hope disappeared, replaced by pain. Had Lord Gotthurst decided he didn’t love me? Had he met another young lady who was prettier and more genteel than I was, someone with more regal manners, a more noble family name, and a larger dowry?
These thoughts were torture, but I had to think them. I had to face the truth.
Friday began much the same way as Thursday, with me afraid to hope but reluctant to think badly of Lord Gotthurst. Juliet was angry and quiet one moment and behaving with excessive spirit and vigor the next.
“We should go for a walk. Shall we? Come, let’s get our bonnets,” Juliet said. “I won’t have you sad and moping about.”
“Forgive me, I—”
“No, no. I did not say that to make you apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong. You of all people have done nothing wrong.” She muttered the latter part under her breath.
“Part of me thinks we should go and call on him and his mother and sister today,” I said. “That it’s wrong to not believe that he wants to introduce me to them, since he said so.”
“Yes, I think you’re right,” Juliet said eagerly. “Marianne mentioned it as well. If you wish to go, I am more than willing to go with you. I would even ask Jeremy to go with us, if you wished.”
“Perhaps. Let me think about it while we walk to the park.”
Jeremy accompanied us to the park. He and I said very little, while Juliet talked nearly nonstop.
It was as if she had too much energy and walking at a normal pace was only enough to expend a small fraction of it.
She talked of a book she’d read, of several items she’d seen in the newspaper—she was surprisingly interested in various political issues—of people she wished to call on next week, and she discussed—with herself—the sermon from last Sunday.
I knew she was also trying to distract me from my thoughts. She’d told Jeremy that I was the best friend she’d ever had, and she was certainly the best friend I’d ever had.
Tears pricked my eyes and I had to think about something else, so I thought about her views on the act that repealed the punishments against a woman who bore a child out of wedlock.
Since a woman might become pregnant through no fault of her own—someone forcing himself upon her—and especially since even Jesus did not cast a stone at the woman caught in adultery, I agreed with Juliet that Parliament had done right in repealing that old law.
I was perfectly in control of my emotions now, as we entered the park and strolled around, looking at the flowering bushes and politely nodding and smiling at our acquaintances.
We hadn’t gone far when Mr. Shelley approached us.
I both felt and saw Juliet’s shoulders stiffen. Even Jeremy looked a bit uncomfortable.
He greeted us, and we greeted him in return.
“I hope you ladies are well. I’m sorry I haven’t been to call on you. There is a ball at the home of Lord and Lady Blackmoor next week. I hope you will be there.”
“Yes. We have accepted the invitation,” Juliet said rather coolly.
“Very good. May I call on you today?”
“Do you need to ask?”
He looked for a moment as if he might not reply. Then he said, “I am glad you do not think I need to ask.”
Juliet had a look of grudging respect and amusement. “Would you like to walk with us?”
So the four us strolled through the park, talking.
Lord Gotthurst’s name was never mentioned, which was both a relief and a frustration.
A relief because I didn’t have to hear bad news when I couldn’t hide from curious eyes, and a frustration because it seemed almost worse, not knowing, than being rejected.
On our way home, I convinced myself of the worst. Why else would Mr. Shelley say nothing about his friend?
And just as he’d said, Mr. Shelley came to call on us a few hours after we arrived home from our walk. And I determined to ask him, if he did not volunteer the information, about Lord Gotthurst.
He had been with us for several minutes when there was a small lull in the conversation. I ventured to ask, “Have you seen Lord Gotthurst this week? Is he having a good visit with his mother and sister?”
“I want to know why he has not brought his mother and sister, as he promised, to be introduced to Miss Moore,” Juliet said.