Chapter 15 #2
Mrs. Kendall heard this last sentence of his, and she said, “Yes, she is. She is quite the most wonderful girl in England,” she said.
“Miss Moore, I see my cousin now, and I will be reprimanded if I don’t go and dance with her,” he said. “But I do regret that I must leave your side.”
I smiled, not sure if I should let him see that his extravagant words amused me.
He did leave my side, however, and before I was distracted by Mrs. Kendall introducing me to a lady and her son, I saw Mr. Harper ask a young lady to dance, then take her to the dance floor.
I danced with a few other gentlemen, and I talked with Juliet, so that the evening passed rather quickly. I barely saw Jeremy Beaumont, except once when he was dancing with Miss Snowden, and later when he was dancing with a lady I didn’t know.
But at the end of the evening, Mr. Harper introduced me to his uncle and aunt. Their manners were rather formal, but they were pleasant enough. Then he asked me for the final dance. It was lovely to feel so admired by him, as he smiled and complimented me at every turn.
“I shall call on you tomorrow. Shall I?”
“Yes,” I said. “I would like that.”
“I have something very particular I would like to ask you,” he said, leaning his head toward mine. “Do you think your aunt would allow us a private conversation?”
“I think so.” Would she? And what could he wish to ask me privately?
We danced, and he was looking at me quite strangely, more soberly than usual.
Oh dear. If he asked me to marry him, what would I say? I felt so nervous I could hardly remember the steps to the dance.
When the dance was over, he escorted me to Mrs. Kendall, who had already ordered our carriage.
“You are most welcome to call anytime,” she said to Mr. Harper, who thanked her, and we trotted away, barely taking a moment to say good night to Juliet.
I felt very unsettled on the carriage ride home. For practical reasons, I felt I should accept Mr. Harper’s proposal, should he ask me to marry him. But the cautious side of me said to wait until I knew him better. No part of me wanted to tell him no. That was a good omen in his favor, was it not?
But I kept thinking of Jeremy Beaumont. What would he think if I accepted Mr. Harper’s proposal?
Perhaps I shouldn’t care, but I didn’t want him to think ill of me or to be angry with me for not listening to his warning about Mr. Harper.
And I kept seeing his handsome face when I closed my eyes, which was strange.
Shouldn’t I be seeing Mr. Harper’s face?
Mr. Harper arrived early the next morning, a little before regular calling hours, and looking quite humble, asked Mrs. Kendall, “May I have a word alone with Miss Moore?”
Mrs. Kendall’s eyes went wide, then she jumped up from her seat and said, “Oh yes, of course, of course.”
She hurried from the room, but as she closed the door, she gave me a wink.
Mr. Harper came quite near, then fell to one knee in front of me. “My dear, dear Miss Moore,” he began, “sweet, lovely Amelia, if I may be so honored to call you that. Will you make me the happiest man in England and consent to be my wife?”
My heart fluttered, then sank.
What did it mean? That I wasn’t in love with Mr. Harper? Most certainly, but I also felt sick at the thought of hurting his feelings.
“You do me a great honor, and I am flattered and grateful that you would think of me in such a way. Please forgive me,” I said, “but—I like you very much, but I think I need a little time before I can give you an answer.”
His face fell, his smile disappeared, and he stared up at me with his mouth slightly open.
It suddenly occurred to me that he hadn’t said he loved me.
“I am astonished,” he said finally, “that you would encourage me so, make me think you cared for me, and then tell me you cannot marry me.”
“I didn’t say I couldn’t marry you.” I was having trouble getting a deep breath, my chest felt so tight. “I only said I wasn’t prepared to give you an answer just now. If you could give me some time—”
“You don’t love me, then.” He sat back on his heels, then jumped to his feet.
I stood too. I wanted to say something that would reassure him, comfort him.
“What were you about, Miss Moore? You led me to believe you felt as much for me as I felt for you. I thought you were sweet and innocent, good and kind. Is this kind, to lead me into making a proposal of marriage? I’ll have you know I am a very wealthy man.
My estate in Lincolnshire is much larger than anything in the entire county of Buckinghamshire.
I would have married you without even meeting your parents, knowing your dowry was very small. ”
By this time I was beginning to think less of his pain and more of his unpleasant attitude.
“I told you I needed time, but I think I can give you my answer now, and I must refuse.”
His lips were pressed together, and I could see his shoulders rising and falling with each breath. After a few moments, he said, “I thank you for your time, Miss Moore. Forgive me for troubling you with my sentiments. I shall not bother you again.”
He turned and threw open the door and walked out without looking back.
I let out a shaky breath, sank down on the sofa, and put my head in my hands.