Chapter 21 NowNever
Chapter twenty-one
Now or Never.
Percy Flores
Ithought I had made it unnoticed back to my room within Witching Command until there was a knock on my bedroom door, and I answered it to find Kat standing there, an upset look on her face.
“Where have you been?” she demanded.
“What?” I asked, trying to buy myself time to think.
“Narkissa was looking for you. I told her you weren’t feeling well,” she replied. “I don’t like lying, Percy,” she told me.
“I was looking for Ana,” I told her.
“Your friend who brought you here?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I answered. “I’ve been here almost a week, Kat.
Or I’ve been awake for that time. I don’t know anyone.
I’m homesick, and I haven’t seen any of my friends.
I just wanted some social time, I guess.
It’s been hard,” I said. Father always said if I was going to lie, I needed to tell the truth.
I never really understood what he meant before that moment.
Not until the anger and suspicion in Kat’s eyes dimmed to understanding.
“You can’t just leave like that,” she said, sighing.
“Why not? It’s not like I’m a prisoner or something, is it?” I asked.
She frowned. “No, you’re not a prisoner. It’s just that you’re important. Your safety is top priority,” she explained.
“What threat is there here?” I asked her.
She hesitated.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Sometimes, command can be over-cautious. But I still had to lie for you,” she continued, upset.
“I’ll tell Narkissa that I wasn’t feeling well, a headache, next time I see her,” I reassured. “No one needs to know.” I smiled, hoping it would make Kat less upset with me.
She smiled back.
“Thanks,” she said. “You’ll get your chance to cover for me covering for you soon anyway. She wants to see you tonight,” she told me.
“Why?” I asked.
“I don’t know, just head to her office after the mess hall.”
“I was hoping I could go to the earlier meal this evening. I found Ana, but she was busy. She said we could eat together,” I explained.
Kat looked put out.
“You’re scheduled for the second session,” she said, which meant that Kat was aware that Ana had been attending the first session, and we were being kept apart on purpose.
“It’s the only time I’ll get to see her. She doesn’t stay in Witching Command,” I pleaded.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she replied reluctantly, “You have been given more freedom since this morning. Your meeting with Lady Flores must have gone well. I’m not instructed to give daily updates only weekly now.”
“It was a good meeting, yeah. Thank you, Kat,” I said, and I didn’t have to try to look grateful.
“It’s okay. This place can be lonely, I get it,” she said. “Just don’t go sneaking off again. It’s my neck on the line if you go missing.”
“I didn’t realise I was sneaking off,” I lied, “But next time I’ll check in with you first,” I agreed.
She nodded, “Right, well, I’ve got inspections to make,” she turned to leave, but hesitated before turning back, “Look, I’ll probably be late, but I’ll meet you at the mess hall, yeah? No diversions, go straight there,” she instructed.
“Understood, Sarge,” I replied with a salute, genuinely happy that Kat was obviously giving me time alone with Ana, which was exactly what I needed.
She laughed as she walked away.
I shut the door and fell back on my bed in relief, for a moment.
I thought I had handled Kat quite well. I had lied easily and convincingly, so why did I feel so bad about it?
I had never been in a situation before where I had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t, where I had to lie so frequently.
I had basically been playing a character, some other version of myself, since I arrived.
It was exhausting, and it took something from me.
Like a little part of the real me was slowly fading away and replaced by the version of myself I had created here.
I lay my hand on my chest. My heart beat, but my chest still felt hollow.
My room wasn’t cold, but I was always cold.
I couldn’t get warm. I had stopped trying.
Just like I had stopped trying to feel my bond with Selene.
I had never really felt it in the first place.
But I knew it wasn’t there like it had been.
Something was wrong. That was what kept me going.
I couldn’t worry about how easily or convincingly I was able to lie; I couldn’t worry about losing a part of me here.
I had to do whatever it took to get back to Selene.
Maybe I was heartless. Maybe I could convince myself I was doing it all for the greater good.
Truly, though, I knew I wasn’t doing any of this for anyone other than myself.
I wanted to be home with Selene, and I would do whatever it took to get back to her.
The quad was surprisingly busy as I walked to the mess hall for the earlier meal.
Suddenly, the base seemed a lot smaller and bigger with so many people around.
Some looked at me as if in recognition, but I made a point of not making eye contact with anyone.
I kept my stare ahead of me as I made a beeline for the mess hall, where I hoped Ana would be waiting for me.
I was so set on getting to the mess hall and finding Ana to work out how we would leave the following night that I didn’t notice Dylan, not until he had gripped me by my upper arm to stop me.
“Hey, Percy, what are you doing out here alone?” he asked, looking around like he expected someone to appear.
“I’m going to the mess hall,” I told him, “Get off of me,” I commanded as I pulled my arm away.
He let me go and looked me up and down.
“Your leg is looking better,” he said and smiled that stupid, big, childish smile he always had.
His cheeks were less full, his frame noticeably more muscular, and his mop of blonde hair was cut short and neat, but his smile was still the same. I almost forgot he was a self-righteous idiot.
“It’s a lot better,” I answered. “If you don’t mind, I’m hungry,” I said as I tried to walk away.
“Hey, hey, Percy, wait, we haven’t had any time to talk about anything. Come on,” he said and took hold of my upper arm again, pulling me down a narrow path between two of the many buildings that surrounded the quad.
“Dylan, stop it,” I warned him, ripping my arm free. “You can’t just drag me about like that.”
“Sorry,” he said as he stepped back to allow a couple of soldiers to pass us.
We weren’t alone, just off the busiest paths leading through the quad.
“Look, I wanted to apologise. For how things had to go down. I wanted to get you out earlier, but we had to wait for the right time…” he hesitated, “…I’m sorry about Fredrick,” he finally said, and at least had the decency to look upset.
“You should be,” I told him, “No one should have gone into that maze, I didn’t need your help.”
“I couldn’t have known that, Percy. I had no choice. I had to get you out and back here,” he defended himself.
“You had to make a stupid run for it, under fire?” I asked.
He looked away.
“You don’t understand. He knew what we were doing, the importance of retrieving you. He understood the risk,” he continued.
“No one had to die. You were reckless,” I accused.
“Sometimes in war you have to take risks, Percy,” he said, and I turned to leave. I didn’t have time for him, but he stopped me, taking my hand in his.
“I’m warning you, Dylan,” I said as I tried to pull my hand away, “let me go,” I demanded.
“Percy, stop this. You’re angry, and I get it, but this is the way it had to be.
We didn’t create any of the situations that we’ve found ourselves in.
Life sucks sometimes. But you and I both know if we had met under different circumstances, we wouldn’t be arguing right now.
We’re perfect for each other. I know it, and you know it.
I also know you’ve settled in really well, since you awoke.
” He smiled cockily like he knew something, and there was so much to unpack from all the nonsense he had just spoken.
I pulled my hand forcefully away from him.
“Any care that I might have had for you died in that maze, on that hill, that night,” I snarled, surprising even myself with my anger.
“You don’t mean that, you’re still working through what’s left over of whatever that bitch did to you,” he said, his eyebrows furrowing in anger as he stepped closer to me.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, stepping away from him, and my back hit the building behind me.
“I mean, there’s a reason you’ve settled in so well and come around to us.
You aren’t under her enchantments anymore.
I told you she had you enchanted, had manipulated you into thinking you were in love,” he told me cockily, like he had been waiting for this I-told-you-so moment and placed his arms above me against the wall, boxing me in.
“This is all your fault. You’re the reason I’m here.
You’re the reason this is all happening in the first place!
” I accused. “If you weren’t so obsessed with me, the northern Houses wouldn’t have been upended, Oskar wouldn’t be dead, and Halvorsen wouldn’t be in this war, and I wouldn’t be here!
” My voice had grown in volume as I spoke, and Dylan just looked confused.
“What’s wrong with you? I thought you were fitting in here, enjoying yourself, meeting the kids,” he said.
“What?” I replied, a new wave of rage washing over me. “You know about the children?” I asked in a hissed whisper.
“Of course,” he replied. “I knew you would be amazing with them,” he said with a stupid smile, as if he knew anything about me.
“You know what they’re doing. Child soldiers,” I hissed right in his face, and he had the decency to finally realise I was upset and lowered his arm from over my head.
“It’s not like that,” he said in a whisper, and looked around. “Keep your voice down,” he warned.
“Keep my voice down,” I repeated in fury.