A Montana Broken Cowboy (Sagebrush Ranch Sweethearts #8)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

There comes a moment in everyone’s life when they finally acknowledge what they’re missing and what they have to do in order to get it. To ignore that moment invites gut-wrenching regret.

Hallie stared at the passage in the book.

How had she managed to fall so far from the person she thought she was that she couldn’t help but seek out advice from self-help books?

She groaned inwardly and snapped the book shut before she shoved it on the shelf.

She turned to leave but something kept her tethered to her spot and she slowly turned her focus to the spine again.

She wasn’t even in the bookstore to find something related to finding her true happiness. She’d wanted a book that could help her with her photography. Something that would tell her if she was actually any good without making a fool of herself.

The pictures she took were good in her opinion, but beauty was in the eye of the beholder, right? And what was the point in leaning into her hobby if no one else thought her work had merit?

Buzzing conversations around the bookstore drowned out her spiraling thoughts and somehow pushed her to reach for the book. Honestly, the second she’d read that passage, only one thing came to mind.

One person.

The man she’d had a crush on for the better part of a decade.

From the first moment they’d met, she’d known he was special.

The problem was, so did all the other women in a fifty-mile radius of wherever he was.

And since he traveled for work—all over the country—that basically meant every woman with eyes in the United States knew.

According to the latest census there were about twenty million women in their twenties. And that was a heck of a lot of competition.

Hallie thumbed the pages of the book and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. The book wasn’t about finding romance. No, from what she could gather, it contained advice for people who wanted to shed the dismal life they were living for a chance at true happiness whatever that might mean.

She blew out a breath and her blonde hair shot away from her face then lightly floated down. Maybe it wasn’t a good thing that at this point all she wanted was him.

Her family was amazing. The relationships and support she had, not only from her parents, but her cousins as well was unfounded. She had a great set of friends who accepted her crazy even when she did something stupid, like air the best kept family secret to the whole clan.

Hallie flinched at that memory. And yet after the dust had settled, they still loved her.

Tracing the cover with her fingertips, she contemplated buying it just to see if it could help. To be fair, her job left a lot to be desired. For the most part, she just helped around Sagebrush Ranch. Whenever there was something that had to be done, she did it. Was it exciting? Did it fulfill her?

Not in the slightest.

But she didn’t have any ideas for a real career.

And no, her photography wasn’t an option. That was a hobby.

Something was missing from her life and with all her cousins pairing off, dating, getting engaged and married, she couldn’t help but wonder if now was her time to shine.

What if all she had to do was tell him? What if Jacob just didn’t know how deep her feelings went?

They were great friends. They spent a lot of time hanging out in the same groups.

No, she’d never traveled to see him compete anywhere but in Montana, but she wasn’t against it—if he’d only ask.

Goosebumps rose on her arms just thinking about what it could be like if Jacob could see her as something more than the girl who tagged along to all the rodeo events.

Okay, she was more. They were friends. But sometimes it felt like the chasm between them to move into something bigger and better was just too deep.

Hallie brought the book to her chest and hugged it tight. She was done living with regrets. She’d tell him how she felt and…

Her thoughts faltered.

And what if he told her he didn’t see her that way? Then what?

No. Nope. Not gonna think about that right now.

They’d been hanging out a lot more recently and she was finally done with his veiled flirting even if that was how he treated most of the fangirls that came up to him wanting an autograph.

Tonight. It was going to happen tonight if she could get him alone.

Definitely best if they didn’t have an audience.

Hallie remained perched on the tailgate of her truck, her legs swinging back and forth as she watched Jacob chatting with her cousins.

Brent and Mack were both interested in the rodeo and liked to compete for fun, though Brent had almost made a career out of it and followed in his biological father’s footsteps.

They were all smiling and laughing, but her eyes continued to lock on the rugged prince.

His dark brown hair was longer than most rodeo competitors and it fell around his head in gentle waves.

On more than one occasion, she’d been tempted to run her fingers through it.

Was it coarse and thick, or soft and light?

Maybe she’d be able to find out one day. Maybe that day could be today.

Her stomach flipped over like a beast. She couldn’t get ahead of herself. She was an adult and so was he. Telling him that she had feelings shouldn’t be this terrifying, for heaven’s sake.

Brent nudged Mack and said something then the two of them said goodbye to Jacob. His eyes locked with Hallie’s and she smiled and gave him a wave.

A wave?

What was she thinking?

He stepped toward her but then got caught by Tate and Jason Dennison. The freaking twins of the rodeo here in Rocky Ridge.

Hallie groaned inwardly. At the rate things were going, she wasn’t going to get Jacob alone at all. Jacob was only going to be here a handful of times over the summer then he’d be focused on preparing for the National Finals Rodeo in the first week of December.

Six months. He had six months before he’d be putting it all out there and showing the world what he was made of.

Hallie wanted nothing more than to be there to cheer him on.

She loved her family, truly she did, but she didn’t exactly need to put down roots.

There had always been a part of her that thought traveling the world would be an adventure worth having.

She’d take her camera with her and capture all the moments big and small.

Now, that would be something impossible to regret.

The truck dipped and shifted beneath her and she startled. Jacob settled at her side and pushed a cold glass bottle of Coke into her hands.

She bit back a smile, refusing to show him just how happy it made her that he knew the kind of drink she liked.

He knew a lot about her. Like the fact that she preferred chicken over steak.

Or that she refused to drink anything out of a can.

Maybe that was the cause of this infatuation with him—the wondering if he might like her too.

What guy would pay attention to that sort of thing?

A friend. That’s who.

“You coming to the competition this weekend?” The low timbre of his voice always triggered a shiver to run through her body. She’d gotten good at hiding it. She’d had to. Ten years of pining for someone and not wanting anyone else to know would do that to a person.

She brought the glass rim to her lips and took a sip. “Mmhmm. But I thought you weren’t competing in this one. Isn’t it for less experienced competitors?”

Jacob nodded. “Not competing. They want me to hand out the awards.”

Turning, she smiled at him. “Mr. Popular, huh? Your sponsors must be pleased.”

His lips quirked. “Yeah, I suppose they are.”

This was it. She needed to tell him before anyone else came to interrupt them. It would be a topic so out in left field, but she had to say something.

No regrets.

No regrets.

No regrets.

“Jacob?”

“Hmm?”

“I like you.”

The hand holding his drink paused halfway to his lips and he cut her a look out of the corner of his eye. She couldn’t read a thing in his expression and immediately she could feel her palms go clammy.

Just say something. Anything. She couldn’t tell if she was screaming at herself or him in her head.

“Aww, Hallie, I like you, too.” He slugged her upper arm playfully and jumped down from the tailgate.

She shook her head, her throat clogging up and her hand shot out to grip his arm.

“No, Jacob. I really like you. Have for a while. I wanted you to know because…” She lost track of what she was saying when she locked in on his dark brown eyes.

They were so penetrating. It was like he could see through her clothes, through her skin, to the deepest part of her soul. It was utterly distracting.

He didn’t give her a chance to finish the speech she’d planned as he took a not-so-subtle step away and gripped the back of his neck. “Look, Hallie, I like you… like a friend. You’re amazing. Funny. A really good friend.”

A really good friend.

That weight in her stomach compounded and she wouldn’t be surprised if she stood up, the whole organ would fall to her feet in a heap of dust and despair.

“I just don’t… see you that way,” Jacob murmured, finally looking away.

Dang, he couldn’t even look her in the eye when he let her down. This was bad.

So, so bad.

Hallie blinked several times, fighting the hot tears that threatened behind her eyeballs.

She really shouldn’t have done this. Now everything was going to be so awkward.

She glanced around at the group of friends she was so involved with.

She was one of the guys when she was out with them.

None of them treated her any differently just because she was a girl.

And either no one had noticed she liked Jacob as something more, or they didn’t care.

Well, that was all about to change.

Internally cursing herself, Hallie plastered on the brightest and probably fakest smile she had the strength to muster.

“Well, now that’s all out of the way, I have somewhere to be.

I just…” She shut her eyes tight and turned away just as the first tear fell.

Her voice trembled and she prayed he didn’t hear it.

“Have to be somewhere.” Anywhere but here, she amended in her mind.

“Hallie,” Jacob murmured. If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought it sounded like a plea.

But she did know better.

They were friends. And she might have just ruined that. This was killing her.

“It’s fine,” she insisted. “Sammie and I were going to… watch a movie tonight. So I’ll catch you later?”

“Hallie—”

She waved her hand in the air, not bothering to lift the tailgate up before she threw herself behind the wheel and drove out of there like a bomb was about to go off.

The drive to Sagebrush was a complete blur.

She managed to get to Sammie and Caleb’s small house before losing her vision to her tears completely.

She wasn’t sure how she managed it, but one second she was in her truck crying her eyes out and the next she was on the couch in her cousin’s house seated next to her best friend.

They hadn’t spent a great deal of time together lately.

Sammie was busy with taking care of her kids and Hallie was still interested in staying out late with her friends.

But with Wynter, Faith, and Serenity settling down, Hallie wasn’t sure if any of them would be able to keep making time for her.

That dismal thought had her tears falling more freely.

“What’s wrong?” Sammie’s quiet voice yanked her to the present.

“Tell me who hurt you, and I’ll—”

“Caleb!” Sammie admonished. “You’re not going to do anything but get your cousin something to drink.”

Hallie glanced from Caleb to Sammie and that was when it hit her. She wanted what they had. More than she’d even realized. Her heart had been coaxing her into making the biggest mistake of her life and all because she was selfishly seeking something with someone who didn’t feel the same.

These two were perfect for each other. They’d had their ups and downs especially in the beginning. But they’d made it work because their love ran deeper.

A love she thought Jacob might be capable of sharing with her.

Her insides felt like they were rotting, crumbling, and deteriorating as the stark realization of what she’d said to Jacob came whooshing back. Her face bloomed with what she could imagine was a deep shade of red when she turned to Sammie and whispered, “I told him.”

Sammie had the good sense to look confused. “What?”

“I told Jacob how I felt. I told him that I was interested in dating him and he… he…” Her face crumpled and she shook her head.

“I’m such an idiot. This is what everyone warns against when you fall for a friend.

” Her words were coming out in gasping sobs and she wasn’t even sure if Sammie could understand what she was saying.

“Sure, the recommendation is always about marrying your friend so you have a good foundation. But what happens when that love is one-sided? Then you end up losing everything. That’s what I’ve lost, Sammie, I’ve lost everything. ”

“You haven’t lost everything,” Sammie insisted. “You still have your family. And you still have your friends—”

“But I won’t have him. I lost him, Sammie.”

She didn’t argue that point. They both knew she’d irrevocably changed the dynamic between herself and Jacob.

Things would be weird now. How could she show her face with the guys anymore?

All he was ever going to do was see the girl who fangirled too hard and fell for him.

It might be a boost to his self-esteem, but their friendship? That was in tatters.

“You know what I think you need?” Sammie offered in the next moment. “A makeover.”

Hallie stiffened, her tears drying up. Then she let out a huff of a laugh. “What?”

“A makeover. A change. Something to distract you.”

She leveled her friend with a flat look. “I’m not getting bangs.” Her eyes lifted to Sammie’s cute curtain bangs. “No offense.”

Sammie laughed. “None taken. But… maybe we could put some color into that hair of yours? What do you say? Want to be a brunette? Or go darker? Maybe you want to turn into a ginger?”

Hallie wiped at her face with the heels of her hands and a small smile stole across her face. “I have a better idea.”