Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Jacob blinked.
Then he glanced up at Hallie where she sat across from him, smiling like she’d ingested the sun itself. Was this shock? Was that this strange tight feeling in his chest that refused to loosen its hold on his heart?
The food on his plate smelled just like he’d remembered it.
There were vague memories of when he’d told Hallie about the time he’d made this food.
He hadn’t told her the whole story. He hadn’t told her that his mother had left him, his brother and his father just after his seventh birthday.
He hadn’t told her that his father was either working, drinking, or sleeping his life away which meant he and his brother had to fend for themselves.
And he hadn’t told her that his brother had been the one to fix this meal for him for his eighth birthday.
His childhood hadn’t been a happy one. The only bright spot had been his older brother.
Ryker had been two years older, and he’d been forced to grow up too fast. He’d been the only one Jacob could count on for much of his life but when things went south six years ago, he’d pushed his brother out of his life completely.
Staring at the food now, he didn’t know what to do or say.
It was like he’d been thrown into a time warp. He was back to being eight years old again, preparing to blow out the candles and wishing his mother would come home. His father was at work. It was still unclear if his father had even realized it was his birthday until he got home later that night.
Swallowing thickly, Jacob glanced once more at Hallie.
“Did I do it wrong?” She scrunched up her nose in the most adorable way as she studied the food. “I could have sworn you said hotdogs, potatoes, and cheese. Did I forget—”
“You got it right,” he said hoarsely as he maneuvered his leg out away from the table so she could take her seat. “You’re going to have some, too?” He stared at her plate, recalling the way she’d turned her nose up at the menu item.
She blushed, smiling as she picked up her fork and knife. “Sure. Why not? What is it they say? When in Rome?”
As much as he might have wanted to smile, he just… couldn’t. There were too many warring feelings erupting within him. The memories of his childhood. The issues with Ryker. His job. Everything in his life that had been just within reach, now gone.
And one simple meal had him questioning everything.
He watched her as she cut off the tip of the hotdog. Normally he sliced the hotdogs in half, so they lay flat before he put the potatoes on. Hallie had kept them intact, and the potatoes weren’t exactly staying on the hotdog as she sliced into it.
His focus followed the fork up to her mouth and he watched with fascination as she took her first bite. Her head tilted to the side while she chewed thoughtfully. Then she let out a huff of a laugh. “Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.”
Jacob chuckled despite himself even though the sound was hollow and void of emotion. Then he reached for his own fork and knife. “You’ll get used to it.”
They ate their meal in silence. He wasn’t in the mood for talking about anything and thankfully, she seemed to be okay with that.
It wasn’t until he was settled into bed after a very awkward moment in the bathroom where she helped him wrap his cast in plastic that he’d realized he hadn’t expressed his gratitude for dinner.
Staring up at the darkened ceiling, Jacob allowed his darkening thoughts to continue to poison him. He couldn’t find the words or the thoughts to understand what was happening to him. He wasn’t this guy. Normally, he was determined. Dedicated. People could count on him to do what had to be done.
Something had shifted and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
So much for only needing self-awareness to make it through the smoke. Right now, everything was choking him, and he didn’t have a way out.
It took a great deal more effort to get up out of bed after sleeping through the night.
Okay, he didn’t really sleep that well and perhaps that was part of the problem.
He was exhausted. The dreams he had left him restless.
The only bright side was that he wasn’t so far gone that he wanted to stay in bed all day.
He might be angry at the world right now, but he wasn’t depressed. Not like people were in the movies.
He was just…
Angry.
By the time he left his bedroom, the distinct smell of breakfast wafted his way. Bacon. Maple syrup. Probably the works.
And why did that knowledge only add to his fury?
He stopped at the edge of the kitchen, watching Hallie dance around the kitchen humming to herself. Normally, he’d get a kick out of seeing her this way. He might not have feelings for her, but they were friends. He enjoyed her company.
But right now, seeing her happy and active only made his own predicament that much worse. He was a terrible human being because he didn’t want to see other people happy.
They could be happy. He simply didn’t want to be anywhere near it.
Jacob cleared his throat, but she didn’t seem to hear him.
“Hallie,” he grunted, irritated.
Still, her hips swayed and she continued to hum as she stirred the pitcher of orange juice she’d probably made from concentrate.
With a roll of his eyes, he hobbled closer to her. He nearly got to her side when she turned toward him, pitcher in hand. Her eyes widened a split second before a quarter of the liquid sloshed over the side at her sudden movement.
The juice splashed down his front and all over the floor.
Jacob closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t even realize you were up yet.”
“Clearly,” he snapped through gritted teeth, staring down at the mess at his feet. “Well, these slippers are ruined.”
She dipped her focus to his feet and grimaced. “I’ll get you new ones—”
“Don’t bother.” It would have been nice if he could storm off, but in his current state, all he could do was shuffle. Once upon a time, he’d been a capable man. He’d been capable. He’d had his home to himself. He’d been on track to being a champion.
Now look at him.
Covered in sticky juice and living under the same roof as a girl who confessed she had feelings for him when there was zero chance he could in return.
He grumbled to himself as he painstakingly cleaned up. His phone buzzed just as he was about to leave his room again and he wasn’t surprised to see his brother’s contact information. Ignoring the call, he left the room and finally made it to the table.
“I heated up your food,” she said softly from the other side of the island.
He didn’t meet her gaze. Blueberry pancakes and bacon. There was sourdough toast on the side. Everything was… perfect.
And it made him feel even worse for his attitude.
He stabbed a fork into his food and started eating. If he spoke, he’d only end up making things worse. He could see it all now. He’d bite her head off and then she’d burst into tears. Hallie didn’t deserve that. She was trying.
Jacob ate in silence. When his plate was clean and he moved to stand, Hallie was at his side with that bright smile again. “I’ll get that for you—”
“Will you knock it off, Hallie?”
She paused, the plate in hand. The way she stood there blinking, it was almost like she was short-circuiting. Before she had a chance to ask him what he meant—and he knew her well enough to know that was exactly what she was about to do, there was a knock on the door.
Both of them stilled.
He wanted to demand to know who she’d invited over. He wanted to tell her she needed to get permission to have guests. But that was the Mr. Hyde side of him talking. So, he gritted his teeth and slowly returned his focus from the door to the woman standing at his side.
“Did you have guests visiting?” she asked quietly.
“No, did you?”
She frowned. Then her eyes flashed with annoyance.
“This isn’t my house, Jacob. I’m not going to overrun your personal space just because I’m here.
” It was the first time she’d sounded upset with him since they were in the truck.
He was familiar with the headstrong woman who didn’t take trouble from anyone.
This was the Hallie he knew how to handle.
And yet he didn’t feel he had any right when she was here to care for him.
Jacob cleared his throat. “I don’t care if you invite people.
” Why did that feel like a lie? Maybe because it was.
He didn’t like people in his personal space.
That was why Hallie’s presence was so frustrating.
Arching a brow, he nodded toward the door just as whoever it was rang the doorbell. “Well? Are you going to get that?”
She jerked into motion. “Right.”
His eyes followed her across the room. She was fully dressed while he’d opted for another pair of pajama pants and loose-fitting t-shirt.
It was like she was taking this caregiving thing seriously.
Kai had offered to pay her for her help, but she’d refused and yet here she was, going above and beyond.
The door swung open to reveal four men and two women. Tate and Jason Dennison had come with their sister who was currently engaged to Brent Gilley. The latter stood beside her, holding her hand. At their back was Sammie and Caleb.
Jacob didn’t know Caleb very well. But he did spend a good amount of time with Caleb’s brother, Mack. The second the Dennisons caught sight of him, they crossed the threshold. “Hey, man! You’re home,” Tate said, closing the distance between them. “How are you feeling?”
“Been better,” Jacob grunted.
Tate’s happy expression faltered, and he glanced over his shoulder at his brother. The twins were so in sync, Jacob wouldn’t have been surprised if they could speak telepathically. “We wanted to—” Tate started, returning his attention to Jacob, but he cut his friend off.
“What are you guys doing here?”
More uneasy glances passed between the visitors.
The women had moved over to speak quietly to Hallie which made sense.
Of course, they’d want to check in on their friend to make sure she wasn’t being taken advantage of.
But these guys? They were friends. However they weren’t the kind of friends who’d just stop by to check in on each other.
Brent had been dealing with his own issues recently.
The shock of discovering a family secret that had the potential to tear said family apart was enough to keep him busy, or so Jacob had thought.
When none of them seemed interested in answering his question, he sighed. “Look, I’m fine. I don’t need any of you stopping by to make sure I’m okay. And as you can see, Hallie is fine, too. It’s not like I kidnapped her and forced her to do my bidding.”
There was a huff that came from the kitchen area, but Jacob wasn’t sure who had been the one responsible.
Tate’s frown deepened. “We’re your friends, Jacob—”
“Colleagues.”
Jason snorted. Brent let out a dry chuckle and glanced toward Tate. “I told you he wouldn’t be up for visitors.”
Jacob’s eyes narrowed. “When was the last time any one of you cared about me or anything going on in my life?”
The room went eerily silent.
“Go on. Answer the question,” he continued even though something in the back of his mind warned him off.
“It’s okay. We’re friends in the arena. We cheer each other on.
But let’s face it. None of you are close enough to warrant a visit like this.
None of you really care about me beyond whether someone else is going to take my title. ”
Tate’s face flushed red. Brent took a dangerous step forward. But it was Hallie who managed to shock them all. She strode into the middle of the conversation. “Hey, now! That’s no way to talk to your guests.”
Jacob nearly snorted at her words. He nearly reminded them all that he didn’t want guests. He didn’t need guests. All he needed was rest so he could heal up faster and get back in the arena.
But she didn’t give him that chance, but at least her expression softened slightly as did her tone.
“You should be nicer to your friends. They came all the way out here to see you. To check on you.” She chewed on her lower lip and looked away as if she already regretted what she’d said.
Jacob could do nothing but stare at her. She was right, of course. He’d been thoughtless with his words. But he couldn’t take his words back now. Swallowing hard, he lowered his gaze. He didn’t glance up until he heard footsteps. Hallie followed her friends to the door.
“I’m going to run a few errands with Sammie and Faith. I’ll be back to make you lunch.”
He opened his mouth to protest then thought better of it. Tate shot him a dark look over his shoulder. No one else spoke.
The second the door closed behind them, the guilt set in.
Jacob muttered a curse.
Well, that wasn’t how any of this was supposed to go.