Chapter 16 Iris
Iris
THEN
It started off like a normal school day, nothing special.
But by morning break something definitely felt off.
Iris was sitting on a bench in the quad, soaking up some sun and chatting to Millie when she clocked a bunch of boys from the year above her staring and sniggering.
She didn’t think anything of it until two girls, coming out of the toilets in the building opposite, also pointed.
One of them giggled behind her hand while the other threw back her head and cackled.
Were they talking about her? Laughing at her?
At Millie? At both of them? Perhaps she was just being paranoid.
Iris didn’t know any of the pupils, boys or girls.
‘What’s going on?’ Millie whispered as they sat down at the long wooden tables in the school dinner hall.
‘Beats me,’ Iris said.
So, there she was, in Geography, the first lesson of the afternoon, bored out of her mind, when she overheard the pupils behind her whisper her name.
She wanted to whirl round and demand to know what everyone was saying about her.
Instead, she strained her ears, tuning out Mr Steven’s droning to try and eavesdrop on their conversation.
She couldn’t make out much, just the odd word here and there, but she did catch another name. Joshua Knoll.
She shivered, as if the temperature in the classroom had suddenly dropped several degrees. Had Josh started a malicious rumour about her? Or maybe it was his new girlfriend, Sasha Spencer-Lyles.
It was Megan Jessop who filled her in later that afternoon.
Megan was the head girl and captain of the girls’ school cross-country club, the school’s golden girl.
She was a year older than Iris – in Josh’s class.
Iris had had a history test in her last lesson and hadn’t quite finished writing when the bell went.
Mr Mason had allowed her an extra five minutes.
The other girls were already in the changing rooms, getting changed into their running kit when Iris got there.
The second Iris stepped inside, it was like someone had hit mute.
She scanned the faces. Some of the girls were staring at her, their mouths open; others seemed to be concentrating on their shoelaces.
At least they weren’t laughing at her. But she could totally feel them judging her.
‘Will someone tell me what’s going on?’ Iris’s voice came out sounding like a whimper.
Megan approached Iris, took her by the elbow and led her straight back out the door she’d just come through. ‘I tried to find you earlier to tell you,’ Megan said. ‘I thought you’d know by now. I didn’t think you’d come to training.’
Iris wished she’d just spit it out.
‘Some students have been sharing a video of you on their group chats and social media,’ Megan continued. ‘Someone posted the video to my drama WhatsApp group this morning.’
‘What sort of video?’ But Iris already knew the answer.
‘Come with me,’ Megan said.
Iris’s legs threatened to give way as she followed Megan round the corner of the building, where they were less likely to get caught using a mobile phone.
Leaning against the wall, Megan took her mobile out of a pocket in her tracksuit top, brought up a post on WhatsApp and angled the screen towards Iris.
Below the message: Have you seen this?! was a video.
Iris didn’t need to press play to know which one.
She turned away from Megan, bent over and threw up on the ground. Megan held Iris’s hair back from her face with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone, even though her hair was tied up.
When they were dating, Josh had coaxed her to make a video for him.
He’d even given her specific instructions.
He wanted to see her naked and touching herself.
This video was supposed to be for his eyes only.
He’d promised to delete it. Clearly, he hadn’t kept his promise. Had he shared it deliberately?
‘We should report this,’ Megan said, magically producing a tissue from another pocket for Iris to wipe her mouth with. ‘I’ll come with you.’
Iris nodded. She had no intention of going to her cross-country training session now anyway.
Josh would be there and she couldn’t face him.
Not today. Maybe not ever again. She didn’t want to face anyone.
Iris was rooted to the spot. Paralysed. Megan had to literally pull her along to find Mrs Hamilton, the deputy head pastoral.
Mrs Hamilton was in the staffroom. Iris was a little intimidated by her, to be honest. She had long black hair, angular features and a penchant for black clothes and she was, like, really bossy.
‘Mrs Hamilton, would it be possible to speak to you privately about a very serious matter?’ Megan said.
Her intonation implied it wasn’t a question.
She had the right tone of voice – firm, mature, not too dramatic, even though she was a great actress if her performance in the school’s production of Les Mis last year was anything to go by.
Mrs Hamilton suggested they should go to her office. Megan and Iris sat down on one side of the wide desk opposite Mrs Hamilton, who asked, ‘Now, what seems to be the problem?’
It was Megan who spoke. Iris couldn’t find any words and couldn’t have spoken them anyway.
‘Mrs Hamilton,’ Megan said in her plummy voice, ‘it has come to our attention that a video of Iris has been circulating today on group chats and social media around the students of South Lydacombe.’
Mrs Hamilton looked at Iris, who looked away. Iris fixed her gaze on a large print of Hokusai’s The Great Wave off Kanagawa on the wall, but the picture blurred.
Without taking her eyes off Iris, Mrs Hamilton asked, ‘What does this video show?’
Neither Iris nor Megan answered.
‘Megan?’ the deputy head pastoral prompted.
‘Er … in the video, Iris is naked and she’s … um …’ It was the first time Iris had known Megan to be inarticulate. ‘She’s … masturbating … or, at least, pretending to,’ Megan said.
‘I see. And does the video show anyone else?’
‘No, only Iris.’
Only Iris indeed. Only she could have been so stupid. What on earth possessed her to send that video to Josh? She’d been so blind. She’d loved him so much, or she’d thought she did. But if he’d really loved her, he wouldn’t have put so much pressure on her to do it.
Oh God, Mrs Hamilton wasn’t going to ask to see the video, was she? A knot in Iris’s stomach tightened. She thought she might puke again. Looking around frantically, she located the wastepaper bucket under the desk just in case.
Mrs Hamilton was quiet for a moment, then she leant forwards, resting her hands on the desk and clasping them together. ‘Iris.’ Her tone was kind. That was something. She waited for Iris to look at her before continuing. ‘Did you make this video for someone?’
Iris nodded. So far, she hadn’t said a single word. She still wasn’t sure she could speak past the lump and bile in her throat.
‘Can you tell me who you made it for?’
‘J-J-Josh,’ Iris managed.
‘Josh?’
‘Joshua Knoll,’ Megan chipped in helpfully. ‘Iris’s ex-boyfriend.’
‘So you sent Josh this video when you were dating, I assume?’ Mrs Hamilton said.
Iris nodded again.
‘Iris split up with him and he didn’t take it well,’ Megan said.
Mrs Hamilton ignored Megan. ‘And did you send it to anyone else?’ she asked Iris.
Iris shook her head. The tears came then, and in seconds, Iris’s body was shaking with her sobs.
Megan inched her chair closer and put her arm around Iris’s shoulders.
Mrs Hamilton pushed a box of tissues across the desk.
She must have been used to people crying in her office.
She grabbed a notepad and took a pen out of a pot on her desk and jotted down some notes.
Iris read what she’d written upside down. Iris’s full name. And Josh’s full name.
‘OK, Iris, I want you to listen to me.’ Was it Iris’s imagination or did Mrs Hamilton sound slightly impatient?
Iris made an effort to pull herself together.
‘As you know, all students at South Lydacombe are required to sign the IT Acceptable Use Policy and it is strictly forbidden to distribute images and videos of someone without their permission, particularly when those images and videos can cause harm and distress. Anyone who has shared this video – everyone who has shared the video – is in breach of the AUP. Those students will be subject to disciplinary action.’
Then it hit Iris. Megan hadn’t told Mrs Hamilton that she herself had received the video.
Or who had sent it to her. Iris had only glanced at Megan’s phone.
She hadn’t seen the name of the sender. Someone in her drama group chat, Megan had said.
Iris didn’t do Amateur Dramatics. Megan wasn’t in Iris’s year.
According to Megan, the video had been circulating on group chats and on social media.
How many pupils had forwarded this video?
People Iris probably didn’t even know and who didn’t know her or anything about her.
Until now. The whole school must know by now.
How long before students at the neighbouring schools saw the video, too?
For all Iris knew, it was already doing the rounds.
Mrs Hamilton thanked and dismissed Megan, then turned back to Iris. ‘I’m going to ring your parents and get them to come and pick you up. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to take the bus home and Mr Brook will want to have a word with you and your parents before you go.’
Iris definitely didn’t want to take the bus home. But her stomach lurched at the thought of her parents finding out about this.
Mrs Hamilton picked up her landline and punched in the number for Iris’s mum’s mobile. But it went straight to voicemail. The same for her dad, who was probably still at work.
Daniel answered, though. Mrs Hamilton hadn’t put the call through the speaker, but the volume was up loud and Iris could hear Daniel’s voice and make out what he was saying.
‘Mr Duffy, this is Mrs Hamilton, the deputy head pastoral at South Lydacombe. I’m afraid there has been an incident at school—’
‘We’re aware of that, Mrs Hamilton,’ Daniel interrupted. He sounded gruff. ‘My partner left home twenty minutes ago to see the headmaster and pick up Oliver.’
Olly? What had happened to Olly?
Mrs Hamilton looked as bewildered as Iris felt. But Daniel ended the call before they could get any answers.
‘Let’s go and see the headmaster, shall we?’ Mrs Hamilton said.
Iris trailed behind Mrs Hamilton down the corridor to Mr Brook’s office.
‘Not now,’ came the bark from inside, when Mrs Hamilton knocked on the door. But she ignored the headmaster and opened the door.
‘Ah, come in and take a seat,’ Mr Brook said when he saw Iris and Mrs Hamilton.
Iris was astounded to see Mum and Olly, who was wearing his running kit, in the headmaster’s office.
What was going on? The headmaster filled in Mrs Hamilton in a few sentences.
Iris listened, but it took her several minutes to compute the information.
Olly had been suspended for a week for punching Josh at cross-country training.
Mrs Davis, the matron, had called an ambulance as she suspected Josh’s nose was broken.
The headmaster already knew about Iris’s video.
He and Mrs Hamilton would take action first thing tomorrow morning.
Iris hung her head. She couldn’t look anyone in the eye. This was all her fault. She’d caused trouble for her brother. She’d brought shame on her whole family. She wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She wanted to be someone else – anyone else – somewhere else.
She wanted to die.