Chapter 26
Sitting on Connor’s sofa waiting for him to come back down from saying good night to an exhausted Ellie, Olivia found it hard
to settle. Watching him today with Ellie, with Mia, with Tabby, had stirred emotions she was finding it hard to untangle.
“She went out like a light.” Connor sat next to her, and in a move so natural she didn’t see it coming, he picked her up and
settled her on his lap, pressing a sweet kiss to her temple. “Thanks for inviting us, she had an amazing day. It’s good to
see her making friends with Mia. Mia’s a lovely kid.”
“She is. And so is Ellie.” Olivia shifted so she could look at him. “Do you want more children?”
His eyes widened. “If that’s your way of saying you want sex, I’m definitely down for it. Or should I say up for it.”
He gave his brows a playful waggle, but when she didn’t respond, the grin slipped from his face. “If it’s your way of saying
we should call it quits because we want different things, you’re wrong.”
“I asked you in Nantucket, but I realize now that you avoided the question about children and only said you wanted a partner.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Sure, I’d like more kids if the woman I’m with wants that too, but if she doesn’t, that’s also
fine by me.”
“Is it really? Because I saw the way you looked at Tabby. You were meant to be a dad, Connor.” And being a mum had never been
part of her plan, never been something she’d wanted.
His eyes found hers, and the look he gave her was patient, level. “I already have a daughter who I love with all my heart.
If she’s the only child I ever have, I’m still the luckiest guy on this planet. All I’m looking for now is a woman to spend
the rest of my life with. And I think I’ve found her.”
She inhaled sharply, one hand gripping onto the other. “You can’t say that,” she whispered.
“Why not?” His gaze was unwavering, his voice so sure. “I’m falling in love with you, Livvy, and the more time I spend with
you, the more deeply I’m going to fall. You’re one hell of a woman.”
It wasn’t the first time a man had told her he was falling for her, and not the first time her reaction had been one of terror.
But it was the first time her heart had seemed to fold up on itself, like it wanted to grab that love and hold on to it. “But
what if you decide in a few years that you do want a family? Even if I changed my mind, which I can’t see happening, my ovaries
are unlikely to be up to the task.”
His gaze did a circuit of her face. “Is this what you meant at the party when you said you were getting your head around the
dad version of me?”
“Yes and no.” She shook her head. “I was in awe of you today. The way you were with my nieces and nephews, it was so easy.
You were fun, warm, but it was more than that. They respected what you said. When you told my nephews it was time for tea,
they put down their controllers. Believe me, that never happens. You call me a hotshot, and in my little finance bubble maybe
I am, but you’re operating in a far bigger world. You have all this experience of life.”
“Only because I was an irresponsible prick when I was younger.”
“Don’t do that.” She laid a hand on either side of his handsome face. “Don’t keep putting yourself down.” He remained quiet,
calm blue eyes watching. Waiting. “I don’t know where this is going to take us,” she whispered, feeling the weight of the
moment. “I was never meant to be a mum, yet if I’m going to be part of your life, I will need to be part of Ellie’s too. And
I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You don’t know whether you can do it or you don’t know whether you want to?” he countered. “Because the second I understand,
but the first is bullshit.” His head dipped as he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “I see you with your family, Livvy.
Somehow you’ve convinced yourself you’re a lone wolf, but I’ve never known anyone less wolflike. You have so much love to
give, so much warmth. Around your family, you’re more like a . . . penguin.”
Laughter burst out of her. “Fair to say that’s the first time I’ve been called that.”
“Yeah, I was trying to think of an animal with strong family bonds.” He gave her an adorably sheepish smile. “Probably should
have said a lioness or maybe a dolphin, but you get my point. If you don’t want kids, that’s fine, but don’t for one minute
think you wouldn’t make the most incredible mum.” As she let those words settle, he carried on smashing a verbal ax through
the things she thought she knew about herself. “As for Ellie, she already thinks the sun shines out of your arse.” He smirked.
“Were you not there when she talked nonstop to you about horses on the way back?”
“I got lucky. I loved horses as a child and I had riding lessons.”
He waved a dismissive hand. “If it hadn’t been horses, you’d have found another subject you had in common. You talk to her
like you do to Mia—you treat them as people and not dumb kids. They respond to that.” His gaze rested on hers for a beat before
it dipped lower, to her mouth. A moment later, his hands slid to her hips and he eased her further over his lap so she straddled
him. “Now, if we’re done talking about kids, I’ve got a suggestion for what we can do instead.”
The erection pulsing hard and hot beneath her made it perfectly clear the direction his thoughts had taken. “Ellie . . .”
Olivia said.
“Is fast asleep. I’ll check on her again just to make sure, but once she’s out, she doesn’t wake until about seven.” The eyes
that lifted to hers were heavy-lidded, the blue a dark navy. “We’ve got all night, Livvy.”
Lust washed through her lower belly, pushing aside her worries. They were for another day. “Then we should use it wisely.”
He slipped his hands beneath her blouse, palms burning through her skin, his hips pushing up to deliver a perfect pressure
against her core. “You’re the wise one.” Another thrust of his hips. “Tell me what you want first.”
Her breath hitched as vivid blue eyes, blazing with arousal, stared at her as if nothing else in that moment mattered but
her pleasure. “Your mouth on mine.”
His mouth swooped, tender for a few beats, lips soft, but in a flash he turned desperate, feasting on her, his tongue moving
with the same restless rhythm as the hips that pushed up against her heat, hands sliding up to her breasts and finding her
nipples, rubbing, pinching, sending a zing of arousal between her legs. “Can’t wait,” he breathed. “Need to have you now.”
She could only moan her assent, her nerve endings on fire, mind full of nothing but him and the need to get closer, to have
him inside her.
Letting out a guttural groan, he shifted his hands under her bum and lurched to his feet. Automatically her legs wrapped tightly
around his thighs as he walked them through to the kitchen, closed the door with his foot, and pushed her up against it.
“Need these off.” He fumbled with the side zipper of her trousers, the fun, easy calm vanished, replaced with a need that
was fierce and messy.
With her help, they removed the clothes from her lower half before fighting with his belt.
“Maybe next time wear joggers,” she complained.
He grunted. “Forward planning. Never been my strong suit.”
Finally she freed him, and he shoved at his jeans and boxers, lifted her again, and pressed her against the door. “Damn. Condom.”
He grimaced.
“I’m on the pill, but—”
“You want to make absolutely sure you don’t get pregnant,” he finished for her.
“Yes.” Was the weight in his voice, the tightness in his expression, due to frustration or disappointment? “I wasn’t kidding,
Connor. I don’t want a baby.”
He stared back at her, and this time his frustration was clear. “I wasn’t kidding either. I have a daughter. All I want from
you is you.”
Yet as he snatched his wallet from the kitchen table, ripped the condom packet open, and secured it in quick, sure movements,
the niggling worry remained. Would his need for more children, like her need to work, one day drive a wedge between them?
On Sunday they had a picnic lunch. When he’d planned it, Connor had thought it would bring back memories of Nantucket. Sure,
Richmond Park in Autumn wasn’t quite Siasconset Beach, but the sun was out, they were wrapped up warm and Ellie loved eating
outside.
“I forgot the mini quiches. And the wings. Damn, and the sausage rolls.” In other words, all the hot food he’d made this morning.
He’d been distracted uploading photos of all of it onto his Instagram account, which had experienced a satisfying surge in
followers since Nantucket. Soon he’d be able to make money out of it. “Maybe I should go home and get them.” Only it would
take half an hour at least.
“Stop being stressy, Dad. Livvy can have some of my sandwiches.”
Jesus. He watched, part proud, part horrified, as Ellie handed a peanut butter and jam sandwich to Olivia.
“That’s sweet of you.” Olivia smiled her thanks, then proceeded to eat it as if it were a perfectly normal thing for her to
have for lunch.
His confidence shriveled. How was he supposed to convince this woman to fall for him when he couldn’t organize a blasted picnic?
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled a few minutes later as they watched Ellie run toward the wooden climbing frame.
Olivia licked peanut butter from her fingers. “What on earth for?”
“You should be eating cherry tomato, basil, and pancetta quiches, smoked chicken wings, and chorizo and apple sausage rolls.
Not peanut butter sandwiches.”
She gave him a long, loaded look before shaking her head. “Stop it, Connor.”
“Stop what?”
“Thinking you need to impress me. If this is going to work, you have to take me off the damn pedestal. It’s exhausting and
ridiculous.”
Suitably chastised, he handed her a serviette for her fingers—yeah, one thing he had remembered. “I’m just frustrated at myself.
I know it’s going to take some adjustment, you spending time with Ellie, and . . . I guess I wanted to make today good for