Chapter 29
Olivia could have saved herself a lot of anguish if she’d just trusted Connor. He’d not been worried about leaving Ellie with
her, so she should have known it would be okay, because he didn’t just know his own daughter—as she’d observed in Nantucket
with the hen party and with her family, he knew people.
It helped that her sisters and even her mum had leapt at the chance for all of them to catch up. It also helped that Jessica
had suggested an indoor play center as the venue. While the plastic seats and Formica tables lacked the sophistication of
the Tate Café, it certainly made it easy to entertain a child.
“I didn’t think we’d ever get Liv to a play center,” Ashley mused, glancing over at her. “It makes me want to high-five the
air.”
“Seeing her taking time off on a Saturday makes me want to do the same.” Jessica, rocking a sleepy baby Tabby in her stroller,
studied her. “You look . . . content.”
The observation surprised Olivia, though her answer surprised her even more. “I am.”
Jessica smiled. “Finally realizing there’s more to life than your career?”
Oh, no, she wasn’t being led down that bumpy road. “I appreciate there’s a benefit to being in a relationship with the right
man,” she countered carefully before darting a look to her mum.
“Good,” her mum said firmly. “Having a career is all very well, but I don’t want you to look back on your life when you’re
sixty and realize how lonely you are. How unfulfilled.”
Olivia gaped at her. “How can you of all people say that, Mum? You’re the one who spent your life stuck at home with no escape.”
Words she’d thought but never said before now.
Her mother looked at her in astonishment. “You think the reason I stayed home was because I had no career to escape to?” Olivia
didn’t have to reply—her mum saw the answer on her face. “Oh, my dear daughter, I stayed at home because I wanted to. And yes, I know you find that hard to believe, but I loved your father, and I loved bringing you girls up.”
“You loved Dad?” Olivia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d assumed her parents’ relationship was about habit, convenience.
“Yes, I loved him,” her mum confirmed. “Do I wish he’d been at home more? Of course I do. But I knew he needed me, that you
all needed me, and that gave me far more satisfaction than any job would have done.” Her voice shook, and she swallowed, clearly
taking a moment to compose herself. “Looking at you all now,” she continued, “I couldn’t feel more fulfilled. You’re my career, my greatest achievement, my biggest joy.”
“You have no regrets at all that you didn’t work?” Olivia pressed, still reeling.
“It was your father who had regrets. All he had was work, and when, inevitably, they didn’t want him anymore, he found he’d
distanced himself from everyone who was important to him. My only regret is that I didn’t make him see how much he was missing
out on because he wasn’t home enough to see his daughters grow into three strong women, each different but each so special.
Ashley.” She smiled at her eldest. “Bold, funny, ready for your next big adventure.” Her gaze moved to her middle child. “Jessica,
my homemaker. Down-to-earth, grounded. The one who keeps us all connected. And Olivia.” She smiled softly at her. “My trailblazer.
Fierce, courageous. Determined to leave your mark on this world.”
Olivia stared at her, stunned. It felt like a supporting pillar had been wrenched from beneath her, leaving her woefully unsteady.
“I always thought you felt you’d missed out,” she said quietly.
“No, not at all. Do I admire you and what you’ve achieved in the male-dominated world of finance?” Her mum touched her cheek
in a gentle caress. “Of course I do. But I also worry that you’re so focused on climbing that ladder to the top that you’ve
forgotten to enjoy yourself on the way, just like your father did.” She gave her a searching look. “I also worry that you’ve
forgotten why you’re climbing it.”
“To prove I can. For the buzz of knowing I’m succeeding. To challenge myself, become the best version of me,” she answered,
the words familiar.
“This ‘best’ version of Olivia.” Jessica glanced down at the now sleeping Tabby. “Does she know what it means to have a warm,
fuzzy feeling in her chest? To experience joy so great, it brings tears to her eyes? To be happy?”
She’d heard this too many times. “I get a high every time my portfolio outperforms the rest of my department. A sense of achievement
and, yes, joy, every time I nail a presentation to investors.”
“But does any of it touch your heart?” Ashley asked.
“I don’t need it to,” she argued, irritated that they were ganging up on her. Again. “I have you guys for that.”
“That’s sweet, but you know it’s not what we’re talking about.” Ashley gave her a sly smile. “I also believe you’re in denial
over it, so it’s going to be interesting to see you work your way through it.”
Before Olivia could quiz her on what the hell she meant, a tornado arrived at their table in the form of a flushed out-of-breath
Mia.
“Ellie went all the way to the top,” Mia squealed.
Olivia’s heart flip-flopped. “Is she okay? Oh God, is she stuck?” She jumped to her feet, her pulse skyrocketing.
Mia giggled. “It’s okay, Aunt Olivia. She wants you to see her go down the big twisty slide.”
“Oh.” Her heart began to settle. “Come on, then, show me where she is.”
As she pulled off her shoes, Ashley called her name. When Olivia turned around, her big sister winked. “Now how’s your heart?”
“Calmer than it was a few seconds ago,” she retorted, running after Mia.
When she came to a halt by the towering climbing frame, though, that same heart stuttered at the sight of Ellie waving down
at her. And as Olivia watched Connor’s daughter reach her hands up in the air and launch herself down the slide with a shriek
of laughter, her chest swelled and her eyes felt suspiciously damp.
By the time they got back to Connor’s house from the tube, Ellie’s hand curled around hers, Olivia could deny it no longer.
The fuzzy feeling Jessica and Ashley had talked about? It was right there.
“I liked it when you watched me.” Ellie’s eyes, bright blue like her dad’s, gazed up at her, so sweet, so trusting. “I see my mum on video, and Dad says she loves me, but sometimes I wish I could see her for real. Most times I don’t mind,
though, ’cause Dad does everything my friends’ mums do, and he plays football with me.” She gave Olivia a shy look. “If you and Dad lived together, I could have a video mum and a home
mum.”
Oh God, her heart didn’t just stutter this time—for a beat, it stopped. When it began thumping again, Olivia didn’t know if
there was enough room in her chest for it; everything felt so squashed, so tight.
It wasn’t just Connor she was falling for.
Olivia was curled up in the bed next to him, her head on his chest, her eyes closed, her breathing steady. Connor stared up
at the ceiling, his body sated from tangling in the sheets with her for the past half an hour, but his mind far from settled.
He was fully, deeply, irrevocably in love. There had been no fanfare, no thunderbolt. She’d slipped into his life and into
his heart with terrifying ease. As he listened to his daughter chatter away nonstop about her trip to the play center today,
he noticed Livvy’s name was mentioned far more than Mia’s. It was clear that Ellie adored her too, adding to his unease.
Had he done the right thing, bringing Olivia into their lives? He’d gone into this fully aware he’d end up getting hurt, but
how would Ellie feel when Olivia decided she no longer had time for them?
She adores Ellie. She’ll let her down gently.
He relaxed a little, but still his mind jangled with unprocessed thoughts. How long did they have with her? Was there anything
he could do to persuade her to stay with them for the long haul? He would always put Ellie first, so Olivia was free to put
her career first, and he’d simply take whatever time she had left over.
“You’re restless.” Olivia’s dark hair slid across his chest as she angled her head to look at him. “What are you thinking
about?”
No, he wasn’t going to press the self-destruct button by voicing his thoughts. She’d run a mile if she knew he was in love
with her. “Just thinking about Ellie’s birthday next week.”
Olivia shot up, her hand grabbing at the duvet and denying him the sight of her naked breasts. “Next week? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” She exhaled sharply. Words tumbled out of her as her eyes searched frenziedly around the
room. “It gives me no time to think what to get her. I’ll need to make a list, ask Jessica and Ashley because they’ve had
eight-year-old girls so they know what goes down well. Oh, I can ask Mia. She’ll have some good ideas.” Her eyes flashed at
Connor. “But you should have told me weeks ago.”
He glanced at her, amused. “I’ve only just stared thinking about it.”
“Jesus, Connor. What about a party? Won’t she want one?”
“Yeah. I’ll ask the mums at the school gate on Monday. See if they can come round next Saturday.”
“That’s how you do it?” She looked horrified. “You don’t send out invitations weeks before getting people to save the date?
How can you be sure the friends she wants to come will be able to make it?”
He shrugged. “It usually works out.” Touched by her obvious concern about Ellie, he kissed her.
“What’s that for?”
“For being worried that my daughter won’t get the party she deserves.” He settled an arm around her, hugging her close. “You’re
right, I should have got my arse into gear earlier. Organization has never been a strong point for me. I bumbled along in
the early years, but when she started school, it became a real issue, having to get her there at a certain time, dressed,
and with a bloody packed lunch. I can’t tell you how often she was late and lunch-less that first year. Just when I’d got the
hang of it, the school moved the goalposts with homework and slips of paper I was meant to sign and return.”
Her fingers traced distracting circles across his pecs. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Most guys in their mid-twenties can
barely manage to get themselves out of bed in the morning.”
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. “Bet at that age, you woke at five, checked the markets, ran three
miles, prepped for your meetings over breakfast. All before heading into work at seven.”
“Maybe.” She gave him a sly smile. “But I’m a woman. I said most guys.”
Laughter rumbled out of him. “I want to defend my sex, but the reason Ellie always has her closest friends at her party is
that their mums know how shit I am at organizing and have her birthday in their diaries.”
“So you basically charmed your way into getting other people to be organized on your behalf. Sneaky.”
“You can call it sneaky or you can call it working with what I’ve got.” He kissed her temple, every cell in his body wanting
to scream out how much he loved her. “By the way, you don’t need to worry about a gift. I’ve got that covered. The riding
school gave me a list of stuff she needs, so I’ll go through that tomorrow.” He grimaced. It was going to kill him when he
had to tell her the money had run out.
“Has she got a riding hat?”
He shook his head. “Nope. But I told you—”
“I want to get her something, Connor, and I’d rather it was something she wanted.” She shifted so she was sitting up, the
duvet still blocking part of his view. “I also want to cover her lessons for another year.”
“Whoa.” He slid his hands up her arms, rested them on her shoulders, feeling the dent to his pride like a punch to the gut.
“First, why do you think we need it? Second, paying for her lessons is my responsibility.”
Her eyes met his, direct as always. “First, Ellie said you’d told her you didn’t know how many lessons you could afford. And
she didn’t say it in a whining, moaning way, she said it in a very mature ‘Lessons are expensive’—though she said ’spensive—‘and they’re going to stop soon, but that’s okay, because’—she said ’cause—‘I enjoyed them’ sort of way.”
Amusement bumped up against his annoyance. “That’s very specific.”
“It’s very detailed, very accurate, because I pay attention, all reasons why I’m good at my job. Two more reasons are that
I’m strong-minded and determined.” She turned to face him square on. “If you want to date me, Connor, you have to accept I
have money. And I will spend it how I see fit.”
Was it wrong to be so turned on when she was basically confirming how out of his league she was? “Fine. But Ellie’s my daughter
and my responsibility. If we can’t afford riding lessons, she doesn’t get them. And, yeah, it fucking hurts that I can’t always
give her what she wants, but it’s life, and both of us have to suck it up.”
“How many more lessons can you afford?”
“Jesus, why don’t you cut off my balls and be done with it?”
She narrowed her eyes. “If the situation were reversed, that would be okay, though?”
He let out a frustrated breath. He got her point—if he had money, he’d want to shower her with it. “Yeah, okay, it’s male
ego, pride. But when a guy’s constantly told how irresponsible he is, how thoughtless, pride is about all he has to hold on
to.”
Her expression softened. “Your parents?”
“Yes, and they weren’t wrong. But I wasn’t going to let Amy hand her over to anyone else to look after.” Emotion lodged in
his throat. “I promised Amy’s parents I’d take care of my daughter. It was bollocks, because they had to look after her while
I worked at the bar, and I could never have afforded this place without their help, but you tell yourself whatever stories
you can to get by.” Swallowing hard, he held her gaze. “I’ve never asked them, or anybody, for money, so you offering to pay
for Ellie’s lessons . . . it rubs on a raw nerve.”
“Okay.” She eyed him speculatively, her expression both understanding and . . . shifty. “But do you really want Ellie to lose
out on something she loves just because your pride will take a hit?”
“That’s . . . Christ, I don’t even know the word for it. Underhanded. Devious.” Sneaky.
“It’s a frank assessment of the situation.” She reached up and cupped his face, her expression softening. “I admire your principles,
but this isn’t taking money from anyone. This is letting me give a girl I’m incredibly fond of something I know she will enjoy.”
It was hard to argue with that. “You know I can’t deny you anything, right?”
“Good.” She kissed him again, her hand disappearing below the sheets, finding him hard and very ready. “Because I can think
of something else I want from you.”