37
The next twenty-four hours were bleak. The rain hadn’t let up and the skies were steadfastly overcast, adding an all too appropriate atmosphere to Aurelia’s mood.
She shifted from sadness to anger—at herself, the shop, Oliver, Antonia, Julia, and back to herself again.
It always turned back to her, where she knew very well her anger and blame belonged.
After Oliver left, it took several hours before Aurelia felt up to calling Antonia, not least because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to speak in coherent sentences through her tears.
Aurelia had wanted to call Oliver if she didn’t hear from him by nightfall, but Antonia suggested giving him the space he’d asked for rather than hunting him down.
Aurelia didn’t appreciate this advice but decided, nevertheless, that she probably ought to follow it.
Her feelings were further complicated by the fact that she couldn’t ask David or Kali to talk her through what had happened or ask how to fix it.
She didn’t want to make the circle of people who knew about the shop any wider, since it might grow too large for her to manage.
She was alright, after all—no one was ill, no one was injured.
She’d simply made a fairly monumental mistake and would have to work it out on her own.
A call from Louisa the next morning didn’t help matters.
Aurelia had missed her deadline; she’d been so wrapped up in what had been happening in the shop and with Julia, Antonia, and Oliver that she’d completely forgotten about it.
Apologizing profusely, she’d explained to Louisa that a family emergency had come up.
She didn’t like realizing just how true her statement to Oliver had been—that lying came naturally to her now—and that she was lying, still, even after her secret was out.
But ‘family emergency’ wasn’t entirely off the mark in describing what was happening in her life at the moment.
After Aurelia’s promise to send a copy of the nearly finished draft as soon as she was off the phone, Louisa agreed to give Aurelia until a few days before the wedding to send her revisions to the last few chapters.
The wedding. As the hours wore on, Aurelia began to ask herself the question that she’d stubbornly ignored after Oliver had left: would he still want to marry her?
That question didn’t help her tears and regret.
She wondered where he’d gone, and why he hadn’t called to at least let her know that he was alright, even if he didn’t want to say any more than that.
Was his lack of contact a sign that he wanted to break things off for good?
Or would he come around once he’d had time to vent his hurt and find a path forward?
Without him there to tell her, she had no answers.
In the meantime, the shop remained closed.
Aurelia hadn’t bothered to post a sign explaining why she’d closed it or for how long.
She’d also avoided the characters the night before by stepping out of the shop just before midnight, only to return inside after a few minutes to ensure they wouldn’t appear.
On the one hand, she couldn’t quite face them given that their appearance was tied to her current predicament, and on the other, she thought that the combination of Mrs. Jamieson, Blanche, and Miss Clack might combust if she were to leave them unchaperoned for any amount of time.
The routine of walking Biscuit, of feeding him and Fezz, felt like the only thing keeping her from sinking more deeply into the sadness that threatened to overwhelm her.
Aurelia had been dozing on the sofa, an open book on her chest, when she heard a faint knocking.
Watching television and reading had seemed like decent ways to pass the time since she wasn’t working, but she couldn’t focus on anything without having questions and worry about Oliver pierce her thoughts.
Sleep seemed to come easily to her, perhaps because her eyes were puffy from tears and so were nearly closed already, or because she’d slept poorly so many nights in a row.
As the knocking continued, she pulled herself up from the sofa and went to the window. She spotted David below, looking up at her. He waved and then pointed to the shop, no doubt wondering why it was closed.
Aurelia motioned for him to wait and went down to fetch him.
“What’s happened?” he asked as he took in her face and the tears that were already pooling in her eyes.
She locked the shop door behind him, and he gave her a massive hug as she began to cry in earnest. He waited for her to catch her breath, then pulled back to look at her.
“Aurelia, what is it?”
“Oliver and I had an argument,” she said, sniffling.
“An argument?” he asked, sounding confused. “It can’t be that bad, I’m sure—”
“It was a really big one. He said he needed space and that was yesterday. I haven’t heard from him since then.”
David nodded, still looking confused for a moment before he jumped into action.
“Right, let’s get you upstairs, make you some tea, and you can tell me what happened. Okay?”
“Okay,” Aurelia agreed miserably.
He led her up to the flat and she followed, wiping her face and taking deep breaths to pull herself together.
Upstairs, David sat her down on the sofa while he made them both tea. She heard him digging around in the cabinets and saw, when he came back into the living room to join her, that he’d found some chocolate. She managed a smile before her face crumpled into tears again.
“Sip your tea, have some chocolate, and then we can talk,” David ordered.
Aurelia did as she was told and, improbably, began to feel slightly better.
“Now: what happened?” he asked her at last.
“Oh…”
Aurelia suddenly remembered that she couldn’t, in fact, explain what had happened.
She was about to make up a story, to fill in the details of what had really happened with invented ones that would be easier for her best friend to believe.
But she just as quickly remembered her call to Louisa and statement to Oliver, and how she didn’t want lying to feel ‘natural’ anymore.
Even if she couldn’t tell her friends the truth, she could work harder at getting closer to it—or just not saying anything at all—without whittling away what she owed them, and herself.
She started again.
“We had an argument. It was something I did, and it was… bad. He was really upset and said he wanted to be on his own for a while.”
“So, what was it? What did you do?”
“I… I can’t tell you. I wish I could, I do. But I can’t. I can tell you that he wasn’t overreacting. I really messed up, David,” she said as she began crying again.
He reached out to hug her, patting her back consolingly.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“No… it was.”
“Well, then, I’m sure you didn’t mean to do it. Or say it. Or whatever it was that happened. I’m sure you didn’t mean it.”
“But I did—I just didn’t think there was any other option.”
“Okay,” David said, sounding more baffled by the minute. “You’re sure you can’t elaborate?”
“I’m sorry,” Aurelia said, shaking her head. “I wasn’t going to tell you about it. I didn’t want to bother you with half a story—but you stopped by…” She trailed off.
“I was hoping to steal you away for lunch, but I’m guessing you don’t want to leave the house?”
Aurelia shook her head rapidly, then fell back against the sofa.
“So,” he began, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t know what happened and that’s fine. But this”—he swung his finger from her tangled hair to her wrinkled clothes—“is not fine. You’re wallowing.”
“I am,” she acknowledged. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“Go out and get him,” David instructed her.
Aurelia shook her head again. “Antonia doesn’t think I should. She says he asked for space and I should give it to him.”
“Well, I disagree. If you had a fight, neither one of you is making it any better being apart. You can’t make up if you’re here and he’s—where is he?”
“I have no idea,” Aurelia said, tears starting up again.
“Oh, it’s alright,” he said, softening as he pulled her back into a hug. “It’s going to be alright.”
David stayed until she’d eaten and had another cup of tea, then left with instructions to call him if she wanted company later.
That evening, the quiet of the flat and the shop was almost suffocating.
Julia had been a ball of energy, so her sudden disappearance felt magnified.
David’s company had been welcome during the few hours he’d sat trying to cheer her up that afternoon, but after he’d left, she’d fallen right back into a well of self-pity.
And Oliver’s absence, of course, was something she felt even more keenly.
Aurelia hadn’t been alone in the flat in ages, which made the fact that he was missing flash out at her like a neon light.
And so, when Biscuit started his ‘I’d like a walk now, please’ routine of pawing at her legs, Aurelia didn’t hesitate to get up. She wanted an escape, and a walk outside to clear her head and start figuring out how to fix things with Oliver seemed like just the thing.